March 24 -- Unexpected Guests...
9So what are your feelings on unexpected guests?? I personally strongly dislike it when my doorbell rings. I am in my own house, minding my own business, and someone rings the doorbell. Really?? Can’t you see I am busy?
I get that it would be worse that they don’t ring the doorbell, but call first!
I think it might be that I work from home and as much as I respect the Jehovah’s Witnesses, they always seem to ring the doorbell when I am on a conference call. Or the Fed EX guy, he knows when I am deeply concentrating and rings the doorbell and scares the crap out of me!
I seriously don’t like people just dropping over, our life is crazy. So when I get a few minutes of peace and quiet, I am normally knee deep in a project. If I am going to visit someone, I call first. It irritates the heck out of my mother in law that I won’t enter her house without knocking – has taken a lot of effort to break that habit.
Don’t get me started on surprises!!
So what are your funny stories about unexpected guests? Do you like it when people just drop over? Do you ring doorbells or knock? Do you drop over on people???
- 16 comments, 52 replies
- Comment
Slighty off tthe exact topic. So this week was my first week of Real Estate classes. We were discussing ethics and penalties and this local story became the topic of interest. Take a read about unexpected guests.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/this-maryland-family-says-their-dream-home-is-infested-with-snakes-they-want-their-money-back/2015/06/03/1f8cd37c-0a09-11e5-9e39-0db921c47b93_story.html
@mfladd when are you EVER on topic???
@mikibell
@mikibell Ahh, so you call this working?
@Barney working hard, hardly working - they are all the same to me!!!
I don’t even like it much when when phone rings. Unless It’s one of a very few people.
Knocking w/out calling first if it’s not an emergency or a delivery service is seriously annoying.
@f00l I was raised that it was considered rude to drop by someone’s house unannounced… luckily we live a bit away from everyone else, and only my dad drops in unannounced…
@mikibell isn’t there a dad exception rule written somewhere?
I would be a hermit if no one called or dropped in on me, such an introvert. But also extremely “laid back” so weirdly i actually dont mind it because i usually would want to see the person but wouldnt think to reach out myself.
Might also be a factor of how often. I only find this happening every 2 to 3 weeks where i get an unexpected call or drop by from a family member or friend. If it were 3+ times a week, my attitude might change.
@mollama I always wanted to be one of those people like Lucy and Ethel where they just calmly waltzed in and out of each other’s houses… I haven’t found anyone I want to live that closely to yet
The kids keep us out in the world. So no chance in us becoming hermits.
I don’t much love unexpected dropbys. Will tolerate if I have enormous fondness for someone. Sometimes -often - those become wonderful.
Unexpected calls from people I care for are usually a delight.
@f00l I don’t much like people… there are a very few that I enjoy visiting with… they are typically under the age of 5 if I like visiting with them …
and then I become the jungle gym or the recliner or the bridge or whatever imaginative item they rearrange me into…(or my father-in-law, because he is just soooo laid back when my mil is not around, and has really good stories!)
@mikibell
Got to thinking how long it had been since someone who knew me knocked or rang my door without getting an explicit or implicit invitation first.
More than a decade. Perhaps more than two.
I suppose I managed to communicate my prefs successfully.
The high point of my day is the UPS guy ringing my doorbell. Although he usually just dumps my box and runs.
@sammydog01 the fedex guy is cuter! just sayin’
With vanishingly rare exception, I loathe anyone dropping in. Then again, I usually discourage most people from visiting; I prefer to go where they are, and keep the sanctum sanctorum quiet and peaceful. My daughter lives out of state, and would call if she were planning on visiting. I cannot imagine that she would drive here when there’s an airport where she lives, and one where I live. My daughter even has a key to my home, but she’d still call and warn me she was on the way.
FedEx, UPS, USPS, Lawn Service, all those knock on my door for one reason or another (or ring the doorbell). I’m fine with that. Visitors? People who are actually going to come in the house, and all? Nope. Nope nope nope…
I do admit to a very small group of friends that come over, when invited, but it’s not often. I’m a recluse. I really like my own company. I have books. I have a large yard, and computers, and a sewing room.
People who drop by (on anyone) should be very sure of their welcome. Otherwise, it’s inconsiderate.
/image smith and wesson
@Shrdlu /me cancels surprise roadtrip
@Shrdlu you and I would be GREAT friends!!!
@Raider Liar. You know that you could come visit if you wanted to. You just don’t want to. :-{
@Shrdlu
Just leave this on the porch with my name on it and I promise not to knock or ring. I’ll be quiet and not linger. ; )
{PS I am not so delusional as to imagine invites that don’t exist. : ) }
@Shrdlu I know better. (hushed whisper) I know about the garden.
@Shrdlu Generally a door being opened with the business end of a shotgun isn’t the best welcome mat! You never know when a nutjob like me might prove someone wrong and personally deliver you a “new” tv… If I can ever convince my travel companion to do a cross country road trip (more like she actually has the time) I just might ring your doorbell. Yea, yea, yea I do have a deathwish!
Do you own the smith and wesson gun that is in that picture,if so what caliber is it? and what year was it made?
@hayden0323 You do understand that was a generated image, right? I may or may not have one or more guns/rifles. I no longer have a slingshot, though. Too hard for old farts (at least for this particular old fart).
@Shrdlu
I like the ranged weaponry that’s easiest to use, personally.
Am becoming more and more reclusive. I don’t answer door knocks. In fact, I don’t even think the front door opens anymore, and there are stickery rose vines around it, in case anyone mistakenly feels welcome.
So pretty when the little pink roses bloom, though.
(Not mine)
@KDemo
Can you post a close up of an actual flower by your door?
(No location specific details visible, pls)
@f00l - Not blooming season yet. They were bountiful last year, so probably won’t be so prolific this year. Seems to alternate.
I have an older snapshot, but no scanner.
@f00l - Pretty much like these:
They’re small, <2" and more scraggly since I don’t do gardening. Luckily, they pretty much thrive on their own.
I could imagine the scent as I was finding an image.
@KDemo
Vintage and non-commercial rose varieties still have lovely scents.
@f00l A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
@Barney
And a @f00l by any other name would …
; )
@f00l @KDemo I removed a gardenia bush that was by my front walkway because the scent was so strong when they bloomed it made me sick. (Gardenia is a flower that I’ve never liked the smell) I replaced them with several roses that smell lovely. I just can’t figure out how to get one of them to grow mostly upwards instead of sideways, lol
@Barney - Don’t you think a rose named “Rose” would smell a little rosier?
@RiotDemon - Ha! I’m no good with gardening stuff, but maybe use a stick?
@KDemo You trying to make me think on a Saturday?
@Barney - No. Sorry. Return to your previous activity.
@KDemo Okay, I’m going back to doing nothing.
Sign on door:
@RedOak
Could you just add a sign that says;
Does that work?
@f00l No. That would be discriminatory and anti-religion. We strive to be neither.
@RedOak I don’t mind talking to them if I am not busy. I understand it is part of their faith to evangelize people in the community. I just don’t like the assumption that I have the same free time they do.
@mikibell don’t they start out by asking if you can spare a moment to talk to them? Just say no. O.o
@jbartus no…not always…and I really don’t like being rude to them. I like to hear about others’ religions. If I didn’t like living indoors and eating warm food, I might have majored in world religions…
It really depends on who you ask. I remember dropping in on my grandparents when I was younger and they never minded very much. But for me, the doorbell startles me because I’m not used to having people stop by. (I’m also not used to having a doorbell, so I think that has an effect.)
@ninjaemilee oh, my gram was our second home, so I guess that is different. She hid a key so we could get in…;)
I pretty much just don’t answer the door. Friends know not to just drop in, I know when a parcel is due for delivery, and the neighbors generally don’t come over unless something is wrong. Many years ago I resorted to telling an acquaintance who showed up that I just wasn’t able to have visitors at that time; I have no idea how she even knew where I lived, but we weren’t friends enough for a drop-by visit. (Of course, if we had been friends she’d have known not to just show up.)
My former husband’s family lived about 100 miles away and were from seriously rural Georgia. They liked to take Sunday drives and they showed up unexpectedly twice around noon when in the first couple of months we were married. I finally convinced him to tell them they really needed to call first; I don’t think they ever forgave me for that, and they never understood that we might already have plans for the day. Most of their relatives still lived in Georgia and were also wont to make unexpected visits. On particular family (two adults, 4 kids) showed up once when the in-laws were out, so they just boosted one of the kids through a window so they could let themselves in. Everyone else in their huge family thought it was screamingly funny, especially since it hadn’t been a one-time-only event; I was so shocked all I could do was pretend to laugh.
@magic_cave
My Always-Right Grandmother would have been offended by the very idea of calling first. Or of knocking. She didn’t bother with either.
She just waltzed in with her latest genealogical, philosophical, or political triumphs. Mom just rolled her eyes and tried to be patient.
I would rather have moved a billion miles away than suffer thru similar.
@magic_cave I live in a rural area where guns are the norm. Around here, you never, never, never walk into someone’s home without knocking/ringing and waiting for someone to open the door - unless you are suicidal.
@f00l Sounds like your mom had a JustNoMiL. The narcissist is strong in some mother-in-laws. It takes a strong spine to draw the line in the sand and tell them not to cross it.
My mom had a judgy PITA MiL of her own, and then became one in her own right–my poor husband let so much crap roll off his back. (Chronic pain coupled with alcohol and pain meds changed a lovely mom into an utter “C.”) Mom kept the back door locked since my grandparents’ home backed up to my parents’.
@LaVikinga
The Always-Right Grandmother was my Mom’s Mom. So Mom was conditioned to being run over early in life - and Always-Right Grandmother basically dominated everyone in her life she ever spoke to, except her grandchildren (we were not intimidated, and she was fun with us), and her two sons-in-law, who stood up to her, and her youngest child, a daughter who is never mean or rude or pushy, but who can’t be pushed around at all either.
This Grandmother managed to keep the local Congresscritters, the newspaper publisher, the local leaders of both political parties, her church elders, and the city council in perpetual states of “jump-to-attention” whenever she wished it. My Mom was not good at standing up for herself with other adults, and never stood a chance.
This was an era when people dropped in. It was completely normal to have friends and neighbors ring the doorbell anyway and come to visit anyway. A fair number of people didn’t lock their doors when home, and left the front door open if the weather was nice. Mom lived a life of talking with friends and neighbors all day anyway. In small towns, many people still spent the evenings on front porches.
My Grandmother was notable for showing up with her latest Pronouncement On The State Of The Universe. Only once or twice a week at most, and she usually didn’t stay long. She was always on the way to something. And It wasn’t the loss of privacy that bothered Mom. It was the performance of Grandmother’s latest genealogical triumph or political theory.
Grandmother would get pawned off on us if she stayed more than 20 min or so. When she tried to lecture us about politics, we wouldn’t let her unless she lectured the cat or dog, with us as critics a la American Idol. And then we would interrupt as often as possible with helpful comments about how everything in the universe was proof that the local socialists were going to allow the commies to take over (her obsession), and very imaginative ways the commies would get in (we had a theory about the commies creeping around from swimming pool to swimming pool), and how the pet didn’t understand yet, and she needed to explain again.
She played our game with good humor. She was a battleship, but she had her qualities.
Introverted. Big Time. I like people, but on my own terms and preferably in a place where I can easily escape when I’ve had enough of them because people are tiring. I consider my home is my cave, my compound surrounded by concertina wire, my inner sanctum, my refuge from the outside world. Call before you come so I can clean up the chaos and put on some real clothes!
@LaVikinga re: real clothes - don’t trouble yourself on my account
@LaVikinga Ditto. And “call before you come” does not mean “call me on your cell as you pull into the driveway” - as some of my relatives seem to think.
@rockblossom I had to have a come-to-Jesus talk with my husband when we were first married that his family absolutely MUST call us before just showing up. It helped that there were a few hundred miles between us, but once he told me that ALL his extended family who all lived in Miami never called prior because “they were family & why would family have to do that?” I had to lay down the Law of La Vikinga.
It’s called having good manners. Were you raised by wolves??? You call before you visit to make sure it’s convenient. You write thank you notes for gifts. You don’t take the last piece of anything at the dinner table without first asking if anyone would like to have it, you don’t smack or snap your gum EVER when you are around people because that’ll get you pushed off a cliff, and you don’t fart in bed and pull the covers up over your wife’s head.
I really am a nice person as long as I can escape from you beautiful manic perfect pixie people.
@LaVikinga the clothing is my issue too… I love wearing my husband’s t-shirts to sleep in…but they don’t meet the minimum pajama requirements for answering the door!
@LaVikinga
I imagine you can be quite the enforcer.
@f00l Revenge comes in many forms.
@LaVikinga
You have given me some lovely imaginings with your reply.
oh, it looked like you posted that pick, sorry my bad. i just bought a winchester shotgun and I love to hunt ducks.
@hayden0323 if you hit the reply arrow, your comment will post in line to whoever you’re responding to. Right now, it almost looks like you’re talking to no one in particular.
When you see /image or /giphy, they are random pictures from the web.
Hope that helps.
TL;DR:
Don’t you dare show up at my house unannounced.
Most people I know (besides family and my partner), have no idea where I live. I like to go to other people’s houses instead of them coming to mine. Their houses are much nicer and they have much more comfortable furniture to fit lots of guests. I have enough furniture for me and my cats. At holidays when my nuclear family visits with maybe one or two guests, I always end up sitting on an uncomfortable chair because I don’t have enough spots.
I have a doormat with a skull that says Go Away.
Last couple of times random people knocked on my door, I didn’t even bother opening. I just asked what they wanted and then I told them I was busy. I didn’t want to bother getting properly dressed to just tell them to go away.
I know I told this story before. Jehovah’s came to my door, and my dog was going absolutely batshit crazy in the window barking at them for a minute or two while I put clothes on. She’s even got her front paws on the windowsill which she never does. One of my cats was also on the windowsill, too terrified to move because he’s afraid of strangers but also afraid of my dog being a royal nutcase. I cracked the door open just enough so I could stick my head out the door. Dog is still looking like a rabid beast, barking in the window. The two guys look terrified and one of them says, “Oh, I see you have a cat.” I thought that was the most bizarre way to greet me at that moment.
The last people that showed up were from some church or something. They drove into the neighborhood with a car, specifically stopping at my house, and then when I told them I was busy, they left the neighborhood without going to any other house. Unless you’re at my doorstep, my house looks completely normal. I have no idea why they singled me out. It kinda creeps me out.
@RiotDemon
@mfladd maybe I need to add that sign as well.
Door mat suggestions:
@daveinwarsh
But this is still my favorite:
@daveinwarsh I most certainly do not have a welcome mat… I figure that is false advertisement!