Love. Attachment. Heartbreak. Finding. Losing. Hurt. Resolution. Songs.

am I doing this right?

This goes out to @f00l and happy threads everywhere!

@mfladd

We know you hate the world.
Resentment.
Bitterness.
Rage.
Numbness.
Melancholy.
Anger.
Pain.
Cynicism.
Defiance.
Spit in the face of the universe.
Betrayal at every turn.
Every silver lining is the edge of a catastrophe, and afterwards there is only only despair.

And we know that’s all truly you, way deep down. Your very soul.

Thank you for trusting us by showing us your beautiful soul.

Prepare for incoming!

Hah!

BTW your sanity is adorable.

Here’s a song, and a story:

I dated this guy when I was pretty young. I met him on the internet before that was common. We started out as friends, but dated after we met in person. We lived over 30 minutes away, so we couldn’t see each other that often, but maybe a few times a month. (We didn’t own cars. I said I was young, lol)

I fell pretty hard for him, like I seem to do with most people that I care about. We always had a lot of fun hanging out, going to the movies, eating at restaurants, playing video games, etc.

The song I linked…He introduced me to that band. He wanted that to be “our song.” I liked the song, but I thought it was a weird choice for us (at the time)

Eventually it got to the point where I was telling him that I loved him, but he could never reciprocate those feelings.

Then eventually I broke up with him because it was too hard to be with someone I loved, that I didn’t think loved me back.

We stayed friends. We started dating other people that were closer to where we both lived.

A few months later, he confessed that he realized he loved me, but he just couldn’t say it.

I was pretty conflicted at that point because I really liked the person I was dating at the time, and he was still dating someone else as well. We decided to stay friends, and then we slowly drifted apart while I dated the guy I was with. I saw him only a couple of times when I was single, but I believe he was dating someone still, and then we stopped contact all together.

Many years later, I was at work, and I saw him, with a girlfriend. I was super busy, so I just quickly smiled and said, “Wow, long time no see! It’s nice to see you.” I can’t remember what his response was, but they didn’t stick around long.

Fast forward to the not so distant past… While I was going through my divorce, my mom decided to tell me that the guy had called her house phone number looking for me, around the same time, or shortly after he had seen me at work. She talked to him for a while, letting him know that I was engaged and what not. She said that she told me about it, and gave me his phone number.

I don’t remember that at all, so I wonder if she didn’t tell me.

Sometimes I think back and wonder if things would of been different if I would of called him, or I would of stuck around waiting for him to open up about his feelings.

I looked him up on Facebook, and it appears he’s been dating someone for years. I’m happy for him.