Last will and testament
12My fourteen year old daughter had minor chest pains today. She is joking about having a seizure and dying tonight. She has even gone so far as to write a last will and testament in which she divided all her worldly goods and decided what she wants done with her remains.
I really feel that at this time I should add that she is just fine. We even went so far as to check her blood pressure and do an EKG (since I have the Kardia device). There are no indications that there is anything wrong with her more than a healthy imagination - oh - and Googling symptoms.
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I’m glad she is well.
Unless she is really feeling depressed or morbid, she sounds like she has a sense of humor and a healthy mind.
PS
Now tell her to write a
Last Wellness And Testament.
@f00l
She’s definitely not depressed, though she is a bit morbid. I think that’s normal at this age.
By the way, she’s still alive and still sleeping.
@jst1ofknd
Think that’s pretty normal at her age.
I’d like it to be “normal” at my age also. Unfortunately, I have too many damned things I need to “git done” this morning.
/giphy “git done”
I suggest a Last Will & Temperament instead!
@curtise
That reminds me of this.
Boot to the head!
@jst1ofknd indeed!
Ti Kwan Leap was written and performed by them several years later, and is also ridiculous and funny. 
@curtise
Is there a video to go along with the skit or is it just audio?
@jst1ofknd TKL was an audio only skit, although there appears to be at least one dojo that has choreographed a routine to it:
Most of the Frantics work was for radio and recordings, although they did have their one season TV show, 4 on the Floor. In fact, even Last Will & Temperament was originally audio-only before they recorded it as a skit for TV.
We’re all thinking it but no one is asking so I will. What did she leave you in her will? Please don’t say 'her love ’
@elimanningface
The break down was kind of like this:
Her best friend: her money and clothes
Older brother: 3DS and games
Younger brother: beanie boos (she has a whole lot of them) and glass figures along with desk and bookshelf
The wife: her art.
Me: her phone
@jst1ofknd nice (I secretly hope it’s a flip phone…or made of candy).
@elimanningface
A refurbished Samsung Note 9 that she mostly paid for herself with Christmas and birthday money.
@elimanningface @jst1ofknd
Actually, she sound like she’s way cool, and also a sweetheart.
In this time of pandemic lockdown, death fears are the source of the biggest disruption to daily life most of us will ever face. Every news report begins with the latest body count. We’re all grieving the losses of community members and of life as we knew it.
When we have lost much of the predictability of our lives, it’s a comforting adaptation to find some sliver of control. “Even though my death is possible, my ideas and wishes can endure when I’m gone.”
Discussions about life, death, and the possible variety of creative responses are similarly helpful (although initially they can provoke a spike in anxiety for some).
I’m glad your 14-year-old spoke with you about it. It goes in the win-column in the parenting tournament.
@Ambiverbal Agreed. I also worry about the damage this is doing to some kids (although I am sure this is triggering a bunch of adults too). As kids their thought processes don’t always follow logical paths and they just don’t process information like adults do. The longer this goes on I’d suspect they may need reassured/helped to deal with their fears in multiple different ways. The longer this goes on the more kids there will be who are going to be left with some emotional scars.
My child was adopted from Cambodia when she was nearly 10. When 911 happened (and we lived in OK at the time) she was terrified. She asked me what would we do when - not if but when - the soldiers came to our door. She had lived through the Khmer Rouge, was born in a refugee camp that had been shelled on a regular basis (knew none of this when I adopted her and had been told she was much younger), has seen/lived through things no person should ever see/live through, let alone a kid. I’d see it in her reaction to so many different things.
Fortunately I told her it would take four days to drive from NY to our house (she had been through the 2 day drive from where we lived to my mom’s so had a point of reference) she was reassured when I said we would have plenty of time to run away (fortunately she didn’t think of airplanes). Her next question then was if there was room in the van to take all her toys, clothes and stuff. She then went on to say that grownups didn’t need as much stuff so maybe I could just take only a suitcase of my things and use the rest of the space for food and things to cook with (you could tell her priorities. She was panicked we had no matches in the house and so made me go, right then, to buy a big box. Oh yeah. She allowed me my computer. LOL Sometimes their fears take odd jumps and so meeting them where they are is so important.
At Cambodian New Year one year (early 2000’s) we were with a group of several hundred Cambodians. We were in the temple eating lunch, everyone sitting on the floor (there were many were refugees from the 1980’s and very early 90’s there) and suddenly a helium ballon got loose, hit a ceiling and burst. Must have sounded like a gun shot as everyone (except the two non-Cambodians there), including my child, hit the floor pulling down kids beside them. The two of us (non-Cambodians) looked at each other in surprise. There was a moment of awkward silence, people sat back up, and started talking and eating again. Makes me wonder what the emotional fall out will be for us, for the world, in the future.
@Ambiverbal @Kidsandliz Our son was a few months short of 4 years old when 911 happened. He seemed drawn to watch TV when the reports were being shown, but didn’t say much or ask questions, that I remember.
I was worried that it might have been imprinting negatively on him, so I tried to reassure him that what had happened was not at all common and that I was not worried about it around us.
Now he says he doesn’t really remember any of it from then, but I do wonder…
I do know I never really got over the emotion from it, especially watching real time as the second plane hit (at least he was away in day care at the time, but probably saw replays).
@Ambiverbal @phendrick Even if they don’t remember it the emotional impact of memories can be there. On the other hand if he was shielded enough and didn’t really react much at the time, he may not be affected long term. I see that in my daughter (adopted from Cambodia and was born in a refugee camp) where things trigger her and it takes a while to figure it out. For example she was terrified of venetian blinds. Why? Because they reminded her of being in a grass hut, sleeping on the ground, watching feet walk by knowing that at any time someone might break down the wall and snatch someone or something. Took a while to help her (and me) figure that out. Then I had to get the person in the neighborhood who she considered the strongest to hit the outside brick wall with a hammer so she could see no one could break in (fortunately she didn’t think about breaking the window). After that she was fine with that trigger.
Did she at least write a first will and testament. You know. To start
@unksol
She should have, but no. She skipped to her last.
It’s Monday 5/4 now so I guess she is still alive and kickin’
I think you have done a great job raising her that she would even consider doing that at all. She seems to be well grounded and thougthful.
@chienfou
She is indeed alive and well. She is pretty special, but I might be bypassed.
@jst1ofknd
bypassed should read biased … correct??
@chienfou
Wow! I really thought I was paying attention to what I was typing.
@chienfou @jst1ofknd here I thought she just didn’t care about you opinion
@chienfou @unksol
Well… She IS a teenage girl.
@chienfou @jst1ofknd @unksol I believe
parentsscientists have determined that teens temporarily belong to a different species. Typically they do eventually transform back to the human species though. Mark Twain advised putting them in a pickle barrel at 13, feeding them through the knot hole and then sealing up the knot hole at 16 (no advice as to when to liberate them though).@chienfou @Kidsandliz @unksol
There are times that barrel idea is attractive.
@chienfou @jst1ofknd @unksol Well there are good reasons why some species eat their young… just sayin’