Kitchen Mat Ideas
3I feel like a beige or cream colored mat with black lettering of:
“Dishes
are
meh.”
Where:
- “Dishes” and “meh.” are the same size, with “are” being slightly smaller
- “meh.” is in the standard logo font
- All words are centered, or all on one line
Could really work out. I would say make sure to avoid white colors though because if it is in a kitchen it is going to get dirty and stained.
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May the Floorce be with you
@adwaller heehee
@adwaller Don’t you mean
MEH the floorce be with you?
Stand Here
@Euniceandrich
Don’t Stand Here.
No Step…
Flamingos wearing aprons
@lindsaywood my wife loves flamingos - would definitely get at right price
Kitchen fairies welcome
“Do Tread on Me” with a flattened Glen
This is where adulting happens
The (Family Name Here) Kitchen
Where “Family Name Here” is in a small font in a fairly large empty space. Or better yet - it’s on a removeable sticker. Write-up should include - “Magic Marker not included” (or include it for all I care)
Abstract art, clear colors. Mondrian style, or color block school. Take a 2" or 3" brush and swipe around to make a graphic.
I’d maybe bring this to work for my sit/stand desk, so something I could use in public would be appreciated.
“That’s right Janet, just walk all over me again.”
I don’t do dishes.
I do people.
“OMG, more work” or “ why me” , “ more cutting” , “ almost done” or something referencing being tired or exhausting since the mats are made to relieve tired feet. Or prevent them. Please have a few choices, because I’d like to get more then one. I have a big kitchen and a daughter in culinary school who I’d buy some for!!!
Assorted maps of the ancient world
@fieldsnyc oooooooooooo I would totally buy that!!!
weathered parchment print in the center over an uncut stone design, text in the center in a legible cursive font
“Place of Power: +5 to all skills while standing here”
A grumpy cartoon Fox with “Fox off, I’m busy”
Make it look like a giant name tag and the name sharpied in says Cloud 9 so that when I’m passive aggressively doing dishes and my boyfriend asks me if I’m ok I can say “I’m literally on cloud 9.” Or maybe just print something inspirational like “this will all be over soon.”
Two words:
/giphy Baby Yoda
@mrallen1 I
baby yoda
@mrallen1 @tinamarie1974 me too!!!
Or… “Don’t drop the knife.”
@cinoclav second one. I’ve done that. Not to sever a toe, but did get a good deep stab into the instep.
@stolicat I’ve dropped knives, but never impaled myself. But I’ve heard stories which is what made me think of this.
@cinoclav @stolicat yeah… why is it my first impulse if I drop ANYTHING (including knives and very heavy shit) is to put my foot out to stop it from hitting the floor.
@chienfou Me too. I’m sure I’ve saved a dozen breakables over the years. Fortunately I haven’t lost any toes while doing so.
@cinoclav damn those super quick reflexes
what about this meme, with or without the cussing?
I’ll feed all you fuckers!
@cinoclav
LegoMehgo might be more painful.A huge splat of different spilled liquids coming out of the the applicable glass in the corner - water, apple juice, cranberry juice, orange juice, white wine, rose’, red wine scotch, bourbon, tequila (with a lime) etc
Should be something simple but classy-
a bare tree, a bamboo forest stencil, a kitchen knife.
Leave it blank~no one cares & no one needs a cutsie or clever saying on a floor mat!
@clutterbug but in pretty colors
@tinamarie1974
@clutterbug actually putting that statement about not needing cutesie sayings on a mat would be hilarious.
@ivannabc Very funny!!
@ivannabc our boss loves ugly Christmas sweaters. so for Christmas we got him a sweatshirt made to look like a sweater where you could put a pic in the middle and text above and below (and the co did other graphics like a Christmas sweater). We got a goofy pic of the team but then we debated for a bit on what to do with the text above and below. We landed on leaving the website’s “Your Text Here” language. He LOVED it.
You’ve made it to the sink.
Now wash it yourself!
Magic Mat of Adulting +5
I mean, some kind of soft but geometric pattern might be nice, too? Or a Moroccan tile inspired look? Maybe I’m taking this too seriously.
@coblebaby
Very doubtful
/eightball Is coblebaby taking this too seriously?
Trumps face. So I can stomp all over it.
@littlebird TDS
@littlebird Except I’d have trouble explaining why I pissed on my floor mat.
@cinoclav @littlebird golden shower fantasy?
@littlebird @warpedrotors Because pissing on his grave wouldn’t bring me enough satisfaction.
@cinoclav @littlebird so sad.
I’m sure you’d risk legal trouble, though, since he’s a licensed character. The license might be cheap, though.
White mat, black (block) text. Optional black border.
GENERIC MEHT
A bunch of different-sizes/different colors of fidget spinners that say “meh” on them.
Standing Room Only
or maybe:
When You’re a Floor Mat
The View Never Changes
Mat? Black.
Nice underwear
@artcardriver Or just a pair of eyes.
@artcardriver Brazilian. NICE!
Print the “MadApeDen” version of your favorite song lyrics on them so you have something the whole family can sing when they are doing the dishes
Don’t just stand there.
“Home Base”
“Magic Carpet”
“Where the magic happens”
“Isle of Pies”
“Sanctuary”
Use the something from your new song!
Maybe add “We are meh” to the bottom.
“You are here.”
Dishes irk me.
Oh I’m totally in for cool kitchen mats!!! Some of my favorite shirts are the ones that just say meh in sparkly glittery letters. I would even buy those
Didn’t you commission some expensive artwork for the Schrödinger’s toothbrush coin? I mean, shit, might as well get some mileage out of it…I think a kitchen mat with wildly inappropriate graphics on it would be the cat’s meow.
“Stand here if you didn’t cook”
“Choreplay is the new foreplay”
" Real men do dishes"
“No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes”,
Say " Wash" on one left side and “Rinse” on the right side.
@davidwr99 but we do it opposite that - need the option of each.
@davidwr99 @stolicat do it so the text is vertically oriented, both with bottom of word facing other word. Ta Da.
/giphy vertical words
two people with talk bubbles, first one says " Use the dishwasher" The other one responds " I AM the Dishwasher"
Back pain
Love coffee kitchen mats
Hate the supposedly anti-fatigue mats
They seriously make my feet hurt.
Hard to even find cool bathroom rugs that aren’t that memory foam / anti fatigue bs.
Mechanical
Aptitude
Test
A QR code that leads to a static picture of the mat with a QR code.
@thenagman
/giphy infinity mirrors
Hi, I’m Mat.
@gideon12 my friend would say hi mat I’m dad /eye roll
Bon Appitit
If it’s really cushy -
@heartny you forgot the candy corn
When I’m not glossy,
I’m this.
(brought to you by the Dad Jokes Consortium)
Picture of a wooden trap door.
Image of a car with hood up
“I’d rather be wrenching”
A view from the Skydeck Ledge at Willis Tower(formerly the Sears Tower).
Stargate portal