Jokes and Puns

@UncleVinny That’s fernny

@UncleVinny In the park across from work, there is a blue heron that hangs out by the pond. I call him Ank.

@macromeh @UncleVinny That joke’s a home run.

@chienfou @macromeh Sure it’s not a high hanging stinkball?

@UncleVinny all the way from right field?

@hems79 That’s utterly ridiculous

@hems79 @Kidsandliz Now you’re just milking it.

@hems79 @Kidsandliz @mike808 Mooove on…

@hems79 what do you call a cow jumping over a barbed wire fence?
.
.
.
.
.
Udder destruction.

@jester747 that’s a wrap…

@jester747 I LOVE this one!

@chienfou pretty sure they are fucking in those beds. Not sleeping

@unksol nope… they are too well rooted to have sex out of wedlock…

@chienfou then what are those bees up to? They are def buzzing about something

@therealjrn Oh shit…here come the “dead cat” complaints again…

@chienfou @therealjrn I just cleaned out my bookcase and showed “101 uses for a dead cat” to my son, he was not amused. “Truly Tasteless Jokes” is aptly named.

@callow @therealjrn I (fondly) remember having a copy of that years ago!

@callow @chienfou @therealjrn I have a cat. What are his uses when he’s dead? He makes a fine mop while he’s alive. I assume you stuff them what with the smell of rotting corpse? It’s ok. I’ll Google it

@callow @chienfou @therealjrn @unksol

@callow @chienfou @rtjhnstn @therealjrn what would the use case be? Extremely low hand towel that leaves fur on you? And only the front half would be frozen…

Anyway does not work with my fridge style. Or is that a washer with lower storage cabinet? Either way

@callow @rtjhnstn @therealjrn @unksol Boot polisher ??

@callow @chienfou @rtjhnstn @therealjrn hmm. Maybe. I feel like it’s easier to move the dead cat over your foot than your foot against the fixed dead cat.

Maybe dirt remover but that’s a little disrespectful

@callow @rtjhnstn @therealjrn @unksol
less bending over this way…

@chienfou @rtjhnstn @therealjrn @unksol

@mike808 reminds me of when the kids were younger:
son/daughter: Do you know what time it is?
Me (looking at watch): Yep…

@chienfou @mike808 I will be using both of these with all of my kids

@mike808 @zinimusprime my kids accused me of being the model for the dad in Calvin and Hobbs after I introduced them to that (awesome) strip.

VAN MURALS! GROUND SQUIRRELS! SPIT CURLS! AWESOME!

@chienfou @mike808 Wear that as a badge of honor!

@mike808 were you cleaning your gun when she picked him up?

@mike808 @zinimusprime Oh I definitely do!!

@eonfifty I’m still giggling

@zinimusprime that’s a load of bull. You know he hugged him to embarrass him

@zinimusprime must be hell on her cell plan

@GeorgeSully I assume he got caught when people told him his sausage tasted like ass?

@cinoclav I use this at work all the time…

…all though to be Totally accurate, halfway between Dayton and Marion would technically be Mechanicsburg, OH.
B/C that’s they way my brain works…I HAD to look it up…

If someone gets it, leave a star so we know.

@actionjbone I want to get it.

@actionjbone May the Force be with ewe?

@actionjbone except that’s a French measure of force, not Greek…right?

@actionjbone is the joke that “feliway” sounds like “fell away”?

Okay, here’s the explanation:

Antisthenes is the founder of cynicism.

Today, cynicism is often portrayed as negative.

Also, the original word “cynicism” can be translated as, “the way of the dog.”

So, Sthenes is the opposite of Antisthenes.

@actionjbone

I think I “got it”. Finally.

But … It doesn’t function like a pun. (except, perhaps, to a very tiny group with special knowledge and interests.)

Way too much obscure (for most of us) knowledge required. And too much apparent invention, unless the Feliway is a real thing.

And it’s really not groan-worthy. Kinda tried too hard.

Altho there is some serious cleverness there, if this were presented to the right audience.

@f00l That was the point, actually.

@actionjbone

The point was to create a pun so forced and so obscure in terms of specialized info, that the groan-worthy “pleasure” was entirely removed, and that the chosen audience possibly wondered why someone thought the pun comprehensible without immediate explanation?

(Most of us are not going to know that name of the founder of the “Cynicism” school. Nor the bit about “way of the dog”. I certainly didn’t.
And I am not well educated in the schools of Greek philosophy, and, given that lack, I never, in my naively constructed POV, considered “cynicism” to be the opposite of “optimism”.)

Any of us who have knowledge in an area that is arcane to most persons could prob construct such a specialized-in-group-pun.
Easier for some, harder for others, but most could do it.

And if that pun were presented to a knowledge-peer-group, it might function as a pun normally functions:
either full of wit or humor, or causing groans, or both.

But, if that pun were presented to the general public, or to a group outside that special-knowledge-peer-group, and were then explained, the audience might possibly wonder at the motivation.

Was it Bateson who insisted that “all behavior is communication”? I forget. It’s been too long.

But even if Bateson is not the direct source of the quote, that fundamental idea is likely older that written communication itself.

Ah well. That pun has its virtues. Just, not for most of us who don’t specialize that way.

BTW, I like that you spent the time to create such a thing. That is the way of behavior/communication.

@f00l

How appropriate, you fight like a cow.

@actionjbone

Ah. How appropriate, indeed: all these comments.

At the least, something is appropriate.

@mike808 Giggidy.

@mike808 More like mountain groan!

@Aristocracy Explaining a pun is like peeing in soup. Your bladder feels better, but the soup is ruined for everyone else at the table.

@Aristocracy @mike808 wait. What? I’m not supposed to pee in the soup? There goes the secret ingredient… Fuck

@Aristocracy @mike808 if your bladder feels better but your guests feel badder, it’d be better to butter your bladder so that your guests’d be gladder.

@Aristocracy @UncleVinny Yes. Definitely don’t batter your bladder to tatters or would you rather it matters that your guests not feel badder?

@llangley I this one!

@llangley :groan: ha ha

@llangley @therealjrn or maybe Meh-di-okra…

@chienfou @therealjrn and this…

@chienfou I’m stealing this.

@MoonMoonDog …truth be told I lifted that one from a t-shirt site… with a little modification.

Ugh. Messed it up…

What do you get if you cross a rhetorical QUESTION with a joke?

There. Fixed.