Is Santa in peril? Is Santa the perp?
6If you enlarge the photo and study the details, it may appear that Santa has been taken by evil criminals.
But perhaps Santa, who had earlier been forcibly lit up and posted to duty ahead of schedule, may have freed himself, and come knocking on a nearby friendly house, looking for a slice of Apple Pie and a means to put a scare into the hearts of the way-to-early neighborhood abusers.
Which it the true truth? Is this Rashoman-Santa?
@f00l has no knowledge of any of these horrifying events. Perhaps it was all a dream?
@f00l has heard that Santa is back home, having negotiated his front-yard duty to start properly on the Friday after Thanksgiving instead of way-too-early.
No Santas, innocents, children, or neighbors were harmed during this event. Assorted dogs and cats remain amused or indifferent. No witnesses have been located.
- 11 comments, 25 replies
- Comment
Too much wine.
I have similar looking chairs.
@PlacidPenguin it took me entirely too long to figure out what you were talking about.
@RiotDemon @PlacidPenguin
2 days later and still haven’t connected the dots.
/giphy you can’t fix stupid
@lysdexia take a good look in the mirror.
@RiotDemon
Thanks, see it now. Not sure whether chair or torture device, but I do see it.
hmm… that’s not very good trigger discipline there.
also, is that a pecan pie?
@carl669
Santa is alleged that have been seeking apple pie.
Also Santa may have orchestrated the threatening tableau himself - perhaps the only way to force the abusive early-decorators to desist.
@carl669 no magazine. Also looks like a paintball gun or airsoft
@medz Still…no finger on the trigger unless you mean to pull it…this guy must really hate Santa decorations…lol
@medz
If Santa orchestrated this photography session, Santa may have simply wanted to get the pix over with so that Santa could start on the pie.
No magazine in the handgun is one of several indicators that this is Santa’s own setup.
Also, the walls need a bit of repainting.
Ew, get your socks off the table.
@medz Heck Santa has he boots AND snow on the table
Seriously, the GPS data is still embedded in the image.
SMH.
Apple iPhone 6s Plus | 4.15mm F2.2 1/10 ISO80 | 2016:11:24 19:52:54 -
https://www.google.com/maps/place/32°42’37.4"N+97°26’06.5"W/@32.7103833,-97.4373165,17z/data=!3m1!4b1!4m5!3m4!1s0x0:0x0!8m2!3d32.7103833!4d-97.4351278
@Pavlov Holy crap, those Santerias are too close.
@2many2no Whew they’re over 14 hours from me…although I know some of their friends
@Pavlov
Oh shit! regarding some careless stupid photographer (no one I know) having been careless with gps info in the pix.
If I knew where this crime might have occurred, I could point out that the data is wrong. How curious. Pretty close, but not quite. Naughty iPhone!
Unless the cops go door-to-door with a local 6 year old child in pj’s as a guide, or unless they bully Santa into talking, the conspirators are still safe.
Complaining about being put up too early? That is something to be praised.
Now putting things out too early, that is the holiday creep and it’s getting sooner every year seems like.
Interesting handwriting. Too seems to have been fixed from to shortly after the interesting looking E in Early was written. What’s with the alternating caps/lowercase though? The beginning of a word is one thing, but the middle? It’s almost as bad as 2/3rds of an ellipsis.
@PlacidPenguin
edit: dammit meh! why must you autocorrect my incorrect ellipses and ruin a perfectly good joke??
@PlacidPenguin
Assume that Santa himself composed the note. This must be Santa’s block printing. (Disguised, of course.)
Can one now have insight into Santa’s core personality?
@carl669
@Placid Penguin might have meant 2/3 of an elliptic? . .?
@f00l
@PlacidPenguin may have also not.
This is why I leave my Christmas lights up all year long.
@Jetlag So they’ll get taken by criminals, or just because of the jetlag?
That’s the same reason I never get around to putting mine up.
@Jetlag
No one objected to lights being left up all year. The lights were turned on (starting Tuesday!) causing neighborhood “decoration blight”. Santa and other Xmas yard objects were forced to work before the contractual beginning of the season.
And Santa was forcibly lit-up, yet given no chance to get drunk.
The final confrontation:
The door bell rang.
A child in pj’s, backed up by her family, loudly accused: “You stole Santa”.
Unnamed conspirators defended themselves:
"Santa likes it better here. Santa got pie here. Santa doesn’t want to be outside tonight, having to work on Thanksgiving."
The child’s older brother wanted to join the criminal gang.
The child’s older sister checked the conspirators’ house to make sure no Xmas decorations could be seen.
Santa remained mum.
The house inspection was done. The residence was proclaimed to be free of early-Xmas-decoration hypocracy.
Pie was served.
All persons had their ID’s and allegiances checked to make sure no students or graduates of Texas A&M had infilitrated.
The child danced around the room with Santa.
The older brother and sister seemed to be working out whether to join the conspirators against their own parents, or stay true as a family and plot revenge.
All felines watched with disgust.
Some greedy canines got so much petting that everyone finally had to go home and rest.
@f00l
Of course the cards cats were disgusted. Nobody was worshipping them.
@PlacidPenguin
These particular felines are disgusted with all other being at all times; particularly when the other beings (including dogs and humans) are actively worshipping said felines, and seeking the felines’ favor.
It’s an art beyond human ken.
@f00l You stole a Santa from a 6 year old??? And I let you have my address – what is this world coming to???
@mikibell
I did not not kidnap or steal anything, or have any knowledge of such activities prior to or during their commission. One guest was so happy proclaiming that she was “finally gonna get to be a grandmother at last” that I had decided to get slowly drunk with her.
Some of the alleged perps might or might not be criminals. (Considering that one relative is a prosecutor … hmmm. Change of venue?)
I had no prior knowledge of anything.
i seem to have no memory of this event. Perhaps it never happened.
in truth, on the stand, having sworn:
Santa came and rang the doorbell and asked for sanctuary and pie and protection. It was our moral duty to comply. And Santa is excellent company.
And then before you know it, everyone, including Santa, is asking for another refill on wine, and Santa is full of alcoholic inspiration about no longer being overworked, and plots to take pictures are being hatched.
So Blame Santa.
The young child in question was offering up various revenge ideas to her parents as they walked home, so I might have heard, if this actually happened. Even tho none of the alleged perps is guilty of anything except hospitality! She is apparently untraumatized.
All’s well that ends well. We hope.
@f00l it isn’t over if a 6 year old is plotting revenge…they can be devious creatures. Sorry for accusing you
@mikibell
The accusing child has older siblings who started plotting while still in Santa’s Sanctuary. She has parents.
Had this Santa incident actually happened - or had I or anyone I know been present at these events - I would be able to tell you that the gleam of trouble to come could be seen in all their eyes.
Are those Reman underwear covering the perp’s face? What kind of man wears Reman underwear…
Do not google it folks. Close your browser and walk away.
shivers
Was not expecting that tonight.
Alone, enjoying the last of the fried chicken I’d made myself for Thanksgiving, watching Anthropoid, and now this. Male lingerie.
/giphy “Hank Hill” oh my lord
@lysdexia
Just knitted ski caps pulled all the way down to cover the face, methinks.