. . . in which @medz tries to kill me

@Thumperchick We all know better, don't worry.

@studerc Small problem - we don't have addresses for people...

@medz misled, dammit.

@medz I wouldn't expect anyone who doesn't have to deal with it at the level we do to sort through all of this shit.

There are several degrees of gluten-free-ness. I was gonna--but then realized no one really wants me to--try to enumerate as many of them as I could think of. I'll describe only the three most important ones:

1) The product is certified gluten-free (often clarified to 20 ppm).
2) The product contains no gluten-containing ingredients and is produced in and distributed from facilities that don't process any gluten.

Those first two are super cool.

The third category is products that contain no gluteny ingredients, but may have been processed in the vicinity of or on equipment that processes gluteny stuff (and without full assurance of thorough cleaning between gluten-free and gluten-full runs). For my purposes, these products aren't gluten-free.

It's possible that what you sent was totally safe, but since Hershey's isn't willing to say for sure that it is, I just can't take the chance. FWIW, many people--especially those that are only gluten intolerant, but even some folks with celiac disease (like @christinewas and me)--would be comfortable (and, I can't say for sure that they wouldn't be physically fine) eating this kind of stuff. It's just not something that I can do in good conscience.

And, yeah, the internet. Oy. It's pretty common for the internet to contain a myriad of contradictory statements about products that are and aren't gluten-free. And the blogs, dear sweet Jesus, the blogs. Blogs are like people, only louder and more opinionated than most. I'm deeply annoyed by the idiots of both sides of the gluten-free debates (e.g., "oh yeah, I ate it and didn't hurl; it's gotta be safe" and "I don't care what the manufacturer said and what tests were run, that product is full of gluten and you're a horrible person if you eat it. Good God, you might as well put a bullet through your brain, you irresponsible miscreant."

Hershey has a page that lists its gluten-free products. It's notable that many of its gluten-free product lines specifically exclude the "Pieces" variant. This is typical with confections and nuts and stuff. I know this because almost everything of this sort that sold under store brands has the killer warning about shared equipment. I think the way it works is that the facilities that produce this sort of consumable tend to make lots of different things (and I can think of multiple good reasons for this) one right after the other.

@joelmw What? You don't like shitting blood?

@medz What you did really was generous and the impact was perhaps the best that could have been hoped for. The wife deserves more special treats just for her.

@darksaber99999

but

@PocketBrain That would be bad.

@thismyusername "Do you do this because it's your choice, or because you have a medical condition?" (Hint, either way, wtf cares?)
There are several people here with celiac. (Yes, @joelmw is one of them, as stated in several threads.) Or other autoimmune conditions that are impacted by gluten and other inflammatory foods.

Also the proof you linked is a tiny, self reported "study" that had 37 people in it. While I can see that lending some credence to your point, it's hardly 'proof' by any real standard.

It's weird that people get so up in arms over what other people eat - to the point of posting smarmy comments about it.

MIBMMTIS (I think this definitely bothers me more than it should...)

@Thumperchick

It's weird that people get so up in arms over what other people eat - to the point of posting smarmy comments about it.

yea it is isn't it... :)

This study was by the guys who did the original study that so many of the bandwagon people used to shout about to prove they were having the "sensitivity".

The one good thing about the bandwagon people is that it gave true celiacs sufferers some good choices for foods they didn't have before.

@thismyusername Yes, though it's a double edged sword. There are a ton more products labeled gf that don't correctly follow the standard, leaving people with serious consequences. I hope it swings back to middle ground for them, where labels that say GF really ARE - and that stuff that doesn't actively contain it as an ingredient is obvious by reading the ingredient list.

I absolutely agree that it's irritating any time someone gets all super preachy about their new diet. It's like someone who's born-again who won't shut up. We get it. Jesus/gluten/kale/water are the best/worst - stfu and do your own thing and stop pushing it onto other people. Also, no one cares that you hit the gym today. But people talk about stuff that's making them happy - it's never going to stop.

I do have an interest in this, to be fair. I'm absolutely NOT celiac - but I present with several of the symptoms. Managed to stump my primary, gastro specialist and endocrinologist. Best we can figure is that since grains are inflammatory foods, they piss off my non-celiac autoimmune conditions and give me celiac type symptoms, but without the verifiable long term damage.

Right now, I'm super lucky that while pregnancy is kicking my ass - it's also kicking out a ton of happy hormones that are keeping my conditions in happy mode - I can eat whatever the hell I want and I don't get sick, I don't get symptoms, none of it. BUT, if history tells us anything, it means that as soon as kidlet vacates - taking those hormone changes with her, I'll be back to having to closely watch what foods are allowed into my diet, or I'll pay heavy consequences. (No, you don't want to know what they are.)

This TLDR comment is meant to say this - there are genuine cases of a so-called "gluten sensitivity" - though the term seems to fall VERY short of what it really is, a non-celiac gluten reaction. It absolutely does cause negative reactions in some people who aren't celiac sufferers.

So when someone kicks out "Are you celiac or a bandwagoner?" You're missing a huge chunk of people and my answer is usually "Are you buying my frucking groceries, or do you just like to be an asshole?" Because explaining my medical condition so you feel like judging someone is bullshit.
(I use the term "you" loosely here, it's all encompassing to people who get all happy about 'calling people out for not eating xyz.')

@Thumperchick feel free to delete my comment, didn't mean to offend.

@thismyusername What? Why would I do that? Being offended is no reason to delete someone's comment. I'm not even upset at you - this is a subject I'm passionate about, which is why you got a book for a reply.
Offensiveness is not censor-worthy imo. Well, there are exceptions, but your comment is absolutely within the realm of normal discourse here and there is nothing in it that should or would warrant its removal.

@Thumperchick obviously don't get too excited but when my mom got pregnant with my oldest brother she developed a whole bunch of allergies (food and otherwise) that didn't go away after he was born. Here's hoping the kidlet altered your body chemistry for the good... For good haha

@chellemonkey I will keep my fingers crossed! Though, she can totally take the gestational diabetes with her...

@Thumperchick @thismyusername The third edge (yeah, yeah) to this double-edged sword are the people who have no medical need to be gluten-free but are treating it as some sort of fad diet. They're prone to waffle on their gluten-free-ness when they see something they want (like delicious waffles), maybe something that has "just a little" gluten. If they're at a restaurant and they've told their server they need to eat gluten-free, then order something with gluten, that server might be more skeptical the next time around and be less inclined to put in extra work to satisfy someone's gluten-free request. It's a "Boy Who Cried Wolf" scenario. For people who really have a medical need to abstain from gluten (like my friend with Celiac's), that can result in a dangerous situation.

@jqubed I think this:

The third edge (yeah, yeah)

is what @thisismyusername is trying to convey. There are people that legitimately have issues with gluten, and the "bandwagoners" that think this will help them lose weight/shrink that stubborn belly fat/have shiny eyes and a glossy coat/become a supermodel. Those trendy/fad people are the danger, not the legit ones.

@Thumperchick Have you been tested for wheat/grain smut allergies and yeast allergies? Turns out for ME these bugger allergies are responsible for the GI issues I get when I eat certain things. Luckily for me, at this stage of the game I can roll the dice and suffer only fairly minor but really inconvenient consequences if I choose indulge in those foods.

@Thumperchick @thismyusername

Briefly (ha, I make me laugh, but let's see if maybe I can this time). I didn't read all of the comments, so please forgive if I've ignored and/or stepped all over anyone else's input.

1) Yes, as Thumper said, I and my kid are celiac. I'd have never gotten into this thing were it not for doctor's orders, and I have a particular distaste for fads.
2) There definitely are other good reasons for certain folks to avoid gluten. And they suffer if they don't.
3) I'm not sure why gluten has to be the whipping boy for so many folks' rage against how stupid people are. People are stupid as shit, you'll get no argument from me on that. I'm not sure gluten is especially correlated--and I know avoiding it isn't the cause. Indeed, for me and many others, gluten contributes to a very real condition called "brain fog."
4) My problem is people who demand special accommodations but then turn around and conspicuously consume the thing they claim to have medical cause to avoid. These dumbfucks make it worse for everyone. If we want to beat the shit (literally or figuratively) out of anyone, can it be these morons? Please?

@joelmw there seems to be a thing in NYC where certain people will ask for the middle of their bagel to be scooped out because they're "gluten-free"*

FFHGJFHGJFHG THAT'S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS
(╯ಠ益ಠ）╯︵┻━┻

*edge case disclaimer: some people do this strictly because calories

@jqubed you're right - it's ridiculous that people claim an allergy when they don't have one. Human nature makes staff think everyone is full of crap after dealing with that.
I will say this, though - if a restaurant claims to cater to GF/allergy customers, then their food handling processes should make asshats a non-issue.
The real danger in food prep is restaurants/businesses claiming to have safe handling practices and NOT following them. Regardless of who cries wolf - allergy protocols shouldn't be broken.

@Thumperchick my sister's friend was talking about eating gluten free in Ireland and how they treat things perfectly - separate cutting boards, lined microwaves, etc. - because there's no reason to not take the request seriously. hopefully we can match that here someday!

@Lotsofgoats that would be awesome.

@LaVikinga Not yet. We were starting to dive into testing and tracking down the exact issue when we got pregnant. So now we must wait until kidlet moves into her outside-me home to resume.

@Thumperchick You are my favorite person today. That's all.

@christinewas

@Pavlov Just remember to do it at the end of the month... We need a gif creator goat. The fact that he tried to murder a past goat just makes it that much better.

@Pavlov speaking of goats... wasn't there this tiny little small detail that you were not able to finish out your term as a goat...

@Kidsandliz

@Pavlov HA! Clearly you have enough devilishly evil gif left in you to finish out the the job right...

@Thumperchick @Pavlov I can't believe @medz hasn't been properly (dis)honored yet. I'll join that campaign.

@Kidsandliz careful, last time we tried to honor him, it almost killed him!

@Thumperchick @pavlov - Here you go, take this sticker and put it on your umbrella so you will have thermonuclear protection. No problem.

@cinoclav No Swedish fish for you. How about these?

@cinoclav Sorry, my CSI skills seem to be lacking... I'm unable to triangulate your position/address by tracing your IP address and bouncing off of the nearest cell towers like I did for @joelmw... Are you using a proxy server? Maybe if I program GUI interface using Visual Basic...

@medz
GUI interface
ATM machine
LCD display
PDF format
PIN number

@Lotsofgoats VIN Number
Also

@medz Geez, you could've just asked for my address!

@Lotsofgoats @medz

@joelmw

@medz Good God, that was hideous. I can't believe that wasn't intended to be a joke. But I pretty much hate the whole CSI franchise anyway.

@PocketBrain star worthy

@PocketBrain Well I'd seen it so many times I figured everyone else had too.

I like this one:

@Pony Rob a kid who went tricker treating...that will solve your candy problem. My parents made us freeze the candy. They'd then swipe it little by little. We blamed each other (4 kids) and they only admitted to it about 30 years later LOL.

@Kidsandliz I have no idea why, but I read this as "Rob, a kid who went tricker treating . . . " and I'm all like who the fuck is Rob, and how will he solve the candy problem??????

@Pavlov I saw what you did. You used a comma to stop a robbery. Sneaky.

@clonetek what did the note say?

@Kidsandliz

@clonetek Cool - a second box. Hopefully good stuff.