I'm starting to think Matt Rutledge doesn't really own Meh...
11Okay, so lemme 'splain this. I was an early customer of W00t’s, way before Amazahn. Before even whine.w00t.com or schurt.w00t.com existed. Back in those days, we all knew who was in charge. Maybe not his name, but we all had an unspoken relationship since this person usually just ‘got us.’
About every 4 days, we’d find both comfort and frustration every time a new Roomba was offered for 24 hours or until sold out. When a Roomba would appear, we’ve all thought, “dammit,” but still read on intrigued. …I don’t think they ever sold out, come to think of it. But there was always a new Roomba to choose from, at least once a week. By that gesture, we knew Matt Rutledge was somewhere in Texas smiling in his chair, imaging we were smiling back at him.
Then the Amazahn.com thing happened, and W00t became a turd. Matt breaks free from his shackles in the dungeon of Amazhan and runs faster than he’s ever done to take back his life and be free again. …Or so we were made to believe.
Then Meh.com appears claiming to be owned by the famous Matt Rutledge. We all flock to see the new daily deals site saying, “hey! I remember this sensation. Reminds me of living 2005! Kelly Clarkson’s ‘Breakaway’ CD was a kick ass release!” But one thing has lacked - weekly Roomba’s. Ladies and gentleman, Matt Rutledge is dead and that is the proof. I suspect he’s buried in Jeff Bezos’ back yard, maybe with Roomba’s, and the person claiming to be Matt Rutledge today was a brilliant low level, under-appreciated employee at Amazahn who’s cubical was 14 stories underground.
Matt Rutledge is dead everyone. No Roomba’s = no Matt.
- 14 comments, 37 replies
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Meh.
Roomba’s? Don’t you mean Sansa’s?
@therealjrn The good ol’ days.
@therealjrn I would possibly give my left nipple for a nice Sansa Fuze (NO FUZE+s!!!). I still use mine from the Woot! old days.
@thejackalope I admire your devotion. I can’t go that far. My nipples are off limits. However, I have tens of American dollars to exchange for an 8GB Sansa Clip.
@therealjrn I gave my nieces Sansa Clips and screaming monkeys when they were new. My sister-in-law appreciated the Clips.
I bought three of every monkey, keeping one and giving one to each niece. I quit when the monkeys changed.
They are teenagers now, but they’ve each got a basket of monkeys in the closet.
He’s recently engaged. Same difference.
@Barney BOOM!
/thread over
@Barney AKA Matt will be making purple
He’s still there. Just more enamored with acquiring cheap Chinese trinkets for bored housewives and shutins.
un-BOOM! He’s still alive. I received a roomba in my fuku. I also got married and I found out that you have to “invest” a significant amount of time into the marriage to “maintain” the relationship. Mr. Rutledge probably does not have as much time to find roomba deals as he once did is all.
/thread re-started
@miko1 So…the spouse knows your meh handle huh?
@therealjrn …uhm, yeah, she knows it… so no one needs to tell her…
@miko1 when I say your air quotes, the only think I could think of was Matt Foley talking about hygiene. RIP Chris:
Breakaway was a damn good CD.
If you play Facebooking on the Crapper backwards you can hear a voice say “Matt is dead”
This is also why they use a paper bag puppet in videos instead of a real person.
/image paper bag snapster
@medz and oldie but goodie
Now I’m eagerly waiting for a Weekend at Bernie’s style podcast acknowledging Matt being alive and well. That, or Matt retaliating with 7 days of Roomba’s (or Sansas).
Does being a zombie count as being alive?
@denboy
Zombies prob won’t get voting rights.
@f00l maybe we could rethink that considering the proliferation of questionable public office holders out there.
@denboy maybe we’ll find out by the end of “Üksi”.
@walarney Ooh, @llandar Can you write @denboy into the story?
@sammydog01
/giphy I’m a boring dude
@denboy
Ands there’s that whole voter ID thing.
What to do if you don’t match your photo because your flesh is rotting and falling off?
@f00l it would depend on how badly candidates want you to vote. Loopholes abound.
@f00l Why would your flesh be rotting off your face? Are you a zombie?
@denboy
/giphy zombie dog
@sammydog01 We know the shit has hit the fan when zombie dogs can vote
@Kidsandliz
(in the manner of Jeff Foxworthy):
If your flesh is rotting off your face, but you still wanna drink beer and be paid properly for your next multiple voting session, you just might just be a Redneck Zombie!
More details and help in determining if a creature is a redneck, a zombie, or both.
http://nymag.com/nymetro/movies/12241/
Their head IT guy is already a robot, so…
@medz my kids love this song
you think that zombie story’s just fiction?
Geez sound like a bunch of old hippies sitting at one of the big round tables at McDonalds.
@cranky1950 Hippies at McDonalds? That’s like Jehovahs Witnesses discussing politics.
@ocifersven Might not talk politics at the Kingdom Hall, but the ones I knew talked with everyone else.
In the 60s and 70s pretty much everyone ate at McDonalds one time or another.
@cranky1950
Whataburger.
@f00l I realize this is sacrilege, but I really prefer a Whopper to Whataburger. I ate there a few times but I always ended up going back to Jack in the box or Burger King or one taqueria or another
@cranky1950 I only got the what-a-chicken there, but recently they have ruined it by changing the bun and adding some weird sauce, so what-a-burger is now on my “well it’s open” list.
@thismyusername
It’s the best “it’s 4am, I’m desperate, want drive-thru” place around here.
Was better than that during HS.
@f00l Wasn’t “everything” better during HS?
@therealjrn
Some things were. But I can think of a few things that weren’t.
@f00l Oh we had Royal Castle, as we called it Royal Casket. They’re long gone, the didn’t have drive through, just 5 sliders for a buck and ok fries open 24/7 with a serving bar with rotating seats and usually ancient waitresses with a paper royal castle thing in their hair. I miss that. WaItresses don’t call anyone honey anymore. Had those big silver space ship coffee machines that no one uses anymore.
@cranky1950 I have a roofer who keeps calling me dear. He keeps it up, I’m gonna deck him.
@therealjrn I can honestly say no, few things were better than Miami in the late 60’s - mid 70’s. Even if you didn’t Hobie or dive.
@cranky1950 Wikipedia says one Royal Castle is still left in Miami.
@therealjrn I had no idea. Damn, now I have a reason to visit Miami. That address is not the best neighborhood, if you’re pale you tend to only go there while the sun shines. A local anchor and Andrea Mitchell got mugged near there on their way to the station in the mid-80s.
@therealjrn I don’t remember birch beer at Royal Castle, I remember Orange Julius.
@cranky1950 I only know about root beer and ginger beer. Not from Royal Castle, just from my Gran.