i'm spreading the word of the mehcronomicon to new places.
21so, one month from now, i’ll be in my homeland, China. which is weird, because i was born in India.
be that as is may, i’ll be in china. it’s part of a tour group, so i don’t really need suggestions on places to go/see (the itinerary is pretty packed). what i really need (and am very excited about) is street food. are there things that i should try? i’m fairly adventurous as far as trying new foods. we’ll be in beijing, xi’an, chengdu, shanghai and hong kong. so, give me your suggestions.
other question for people that have been there recently: how much cash should i take? i’ll be there for 12 days. i don’t plan on buying a whole lot of souvenirs. maybe a few knick knacks. most meals are included as part of the tour, so i won’t need to blow too much cash there. dinner isn’t always included, hence the question about street food.
and, as always, 你他妈的
(note: i have checked and mediocre/meh do not appear to be blocked by the GFW).
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Do you think the world is ready for your mehcronomicon?
@Barney let us consult the mehcronomicon.
“The word of the book must be spread, be it by pen, pencil, sharpie or magic marker. But don’t use a sword. Just because you watched Highlander a hundred times doesn’t mean you know how to use a sword. So knock that shit off. So say we all.”
@carl669 Amen.
@carl669 there is not one fuck in that passage… I think you are reading from the wrong book!
@carl669 Anyway, I hope you have a great trip.
@mikibell you’re right. i translated it wrong. it should say “So knock that fucking shit off.” good catch!
@Barney thanks!
@carl669 and how.
Try the snake wine.
@hallmike you’ve had it?
@carl669 Yes. Part of our tour included a river boat ride and they had a bottle on board.
I don’t remember any specific street food, but I did try many things from street vendors and never had a problem. Wait - I do remember the dog penis but that was in a shop window and not really street food.
My daughter went some time ago. If you like piracy, there are lots of cheap DVDs. The packaging is random, and sometimes the DVDs are too.
@sligett but i can’t eat DVDs. well… i could, but they might be bland and pointy.
@carl669 The only specific “food” I recall that she mentioned was beef tendon. I don’t really recommend that, however. I’ll email her for more ideas.
/giphy beef tendon
@sligett beef tendon cooked long enough might be good.
@carl669 it is
Take some fucking purple. And spread purple. And bring back purple.
And let us know about purple street food.
@f00l hmm… purple is the ultimate prosperity color. you may be on to something.
@f00l I wonder if purple.com is blocked by the GFW
@moregin it is not.
The world will never be the same.
@mfladd you know, i really do need to make a book cover for the mehcronomicon and get some t-shirts printed. if only i had drawing skills…
@carl669 check this out!
Except that my wife would say, “You like it so much, you wear it”. “You are so fucking weird.”
@mfladd can’t. stop. staring.
I have nothing to include in this conversation, other than I am jealous. I have always wanted to go to China. Have fun!!!
@conandlibrarian It’s sooo adorable when a cow says it!
@conandlibrarian i just imagined one of these going, “the cow says, 你他妈的”
All things dumpling
@AnnaB wonder how @carl669’s wife feels about you calling him “dumpling”?
/giphy dumpling
@carl669 I’ve been to all those cities, but unfortunately I cannot describe myself as an adventurous eater. Beijing has a night market at Wangfujing that sounds exactly like what you are looking for – crickets, scorpions and fried seahorses on a stick. It’s on a subway stop, so it’s easy to get to if your tour doesn’t go there. I did try the fried starfish, assuming I would eat the fried outside skin, but a cook quickly took it from me and tore open one of the arms, revealing the meat that I was supposed to eat. It tasted like fishy hamburger meat, so after two bites I quickly moved on to the desserts.
In Xi’an, you will want to hit the Muslim Quarter for street food, as well as souvenirs. You may want a mini Terra Cotta Warrior, silk embroidery, or a watercolor. If you think you might buy some silk or art work, pack a sturdy cardboard tube to keep them from getting crushed in your suitcase.
In Chengdu, I don’t know of any special street stalls, but the tiger skin peppers were my favorite. Not exotic, but so damn good. Nearly every souvenir here is panda-shaped. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing.
Rumor has it that Shanghai has a new KFC staffed by robots, should you want to meet your new overlords in person. I spent less than 2 days there, so I’m not much help here. Same for Hong Kong, it rained the whole time I was there, so I curtailed my street-walking.
No matter what city you are in, you should be able to follow your nose to a street vendor selling stinky tofu. For weeks, I wondered why street vendors always seemed to set up their carts next to an open sewer pit. Spoiler alert – the smell is coming from INSIDE THE CART! I fully expect you to try some and report back – I was never brave enough to try it. And if you get an upset stomach from it, try the ginger coke tea.
As for cash, I was able to use my Chase card at ATM’s using my 4 digit PIN. I think I mostly used HSBC machines. They are stocked with 100 yuan notes. I only had one machine that didn’t recognize my card, and a few that were out of cash, but this was rare. Check with your bank and your tour company before you go.
One last piece of advice – if you use OTC allergy medication, go ahead and take it with you. You’ll probably need it due to pollution, and it can be hard to find.
I am jealous – I loved China and would go back in a heartbeat. Let me know if you have any questions.
@Trillian thanks for the great run down! i’m pretty sure i saw the Muslim quarter on the itinerary, so i’ll be sure to hit up the street food there. also, thanks for the tip about the cardboard tube. never would have thought of that.
i’m not sure about the stinky tofu. i saw andrew zimmern eat it and he didn’t have many nice things to say. i may have to imbibe a few cocktails before i get up the gumption to give it a go. but, my brother will be on the trip as well. so, i’m sure we can egg each other on enough that we’ll give it a shot.
crickets, scorpions and fried seahorses? now that’s what i’m talking about! did you eat any of those? i’d imagine the crickets and scorpion tasting like crunchy little nuggets of goodness. not sure what to expect from the seahorse though. in preparation, i’ve started eating bars made from cricket flour. they’ve definitely got a unique (but not unpleasant) taste to them.
other questions: water? safe to drink the tap water? the subway in Beijing… easy to figure out? i really want to hit that night market you mentioned, but i do have a propensity to get lost in new places.
thanks for all the help!
@carl669 The subway isn’t too hard, but it can be confusing to transfer. Wangfujing is on the red line, just one stop away from the Tian’anmen Square East station. If it seems daunting or you have several people willing to share a cab, have your hotel concierge help you. They will write your destination (and return address) in Mandarin to hand to the driver. English speaking cabbies were rare.
Every guide book advises not to drink the tap water, so bottled water is for sale everywhere. A tourist class hotel will likely provide free filtered water in your room. Coca Cola is also everywhere, but rarely refrigerated.
I never tried anything more exotic than the starfish, as bugs creep me out, and the fried seahorses made me sad. You could try the Thorn Tree forum at Lonely Planet for more info, but their search function seems less helpful now. You may fare better here: www.chinesestreetfood.com. Oh, and be sure to BYO toilet paper! I could go on, but it would probably be TMI.
Speaking of toilet paper, I hope you get to try a squat toilet.
@hallmike I can’t wait to hear what the mehcronomicon has to say about squat toilets.
@hallmike @Trillian well… considering i’m from India, i’d say i’ll be able to handle a squat toilet. besides, doesn’t everyone use a squatty potty anyway? but, good to know about bringing my own TP.
i’ve searched the mehcronomicon for a statement on squat toilets, but it remains oddly silent on the subject. the closest it offered was:
“Everybody poops! That doesn’t mean you need to talk to the person in the stall next to you while you do it. Shut the fuck up and let everyone poop in peace. So say we all.”
@hallmike
Squat toilets…Philippine memories.
@f00l been there as well. but, didn’t have to use a squat toilet. i did find it odd that most of the public toilets i saw were western style, but they didn’t have the flip up seat.
@carl669
In the cities, western toilets. Out where my Peace Corps friends were, squat toilets were a luxury, if you know what i mean.
But the Philippines is Asia experienced in ways familiar to the Western mind. English, lots of food we recognize, movies and music we all know…
@f00l we were mainly in the northern provinces, but in mostly modern houses. there were a couple times when we went to small villages where there was a squat toilet, or sometimes less.
as for food, i left it to the locals. i basically said, “if it’s good, bring it to me. just don’t tell me what’s in it.” i got to try a lot of tasty dishes that way. i still have no idea what was in them, but i don’t really care. as andrew zimmern says, “if it tastes good, fucking eat it!”
Enjoy your trip, and as always,
alright folks. heading out to spread the word of the book of meh in 2 days. if meh sells another shirt on their birthday, somebody grab me one. men’s large. i’ll totally pay you back in delicious fried scorpions. or money.
Bon Voyage, @carl669! I’ll try to get you a shirt. (Especially if we can only buy one, I may be the only person here that doesn’t wear t shirts.)
Oh, and hold the scorpions.
@KDemo no scorpions? fine. stir fried crickets it is! i actually found out meh is not blocked by the great firewall. so, i might be able to get one myself. but, feel free to grab one just in case. who knows when i’ll have internet access over there.
@carl669 It it’s the click face t-shirt, I’ll have one for you because I may be the only one who doesn’t like them. But due to this illness I have, shopaholism, I’ll be buying one. I can always give it away later if you get/buy/steal one.
@carl669 wishing you safe travels. Don’t forget to write!
@carl669 - Hey, wait. You’re the one going on vacation, aren’t you supposed to bring back t shirts for us?
Good going, you almost had me fooled.
@KDemo with my luck, if i buy a t-shirt in china, the person would tell me it says “serenity” and it’ll actually say “i’m an asshole”.
@Barney i will gladly take it off your hands. especially if it’s purple! (i gave my purple “meh” shirt to a friend as a gift)
@mikibell thanks! the great firewall has most places blocked. according to the web, meh is not one of those places. so, i’ll see if i can hop in.
@carl669 Heck, you would probably pay extra for a t-shirt that said “I’m an asshole!!”
@mikibell so true!
@carl669 You really think I’d give away a purple shirt? Ha ha ha ha ha!
/giphy ha ha ha
@Barney It’s not a shirt, but I saw this and thought of you:
purple sleeping bag
@compunaut I love the color, but it would probably be a bit too warm for our 110 heat index temperature today.
@Barney Yeah; last time I went camping the sleeping bag was used more like a mattress
@carl669 - Sorry, no shirt. Tried to get you a fuko, then realized all the stuff comes from China. You’re ahead of the game already.
@KDemo i kind of figured it’d be a fuko this year. instead, i spent the time walking the great wall in 95 degree heat with ungodly humidity. i think it was a fair trade.
@carl669 - It’s 65 at home today, humidity also 65%.
Still no great walls here, though, so - um, carry on.
gotcha covered, @carl669 - Mens large.
frosty-living-leather
(it looks delicious)
drunk shrimp is pretty tasty, i had it at a fancy schmancy restaurant in hong kong
it’s live shrimp that are soaked in alcohol which is lit at your table to cook the little creatures
/giphy "drunk shrimp"
@Yoda_Daenerys i ate some random chicken thing from a street vendor. i haven’t died yet, so i’m ahead of the game.
I just clicked the button from 32000 feet. am I now in the meh-le high club?
@carl669 - So exciting! Can’t wait for details, check in when you can.
/giphy Chinese adventure