I need help...

@carl669 I still have some dum-dums… I have to put a moratorium on sending surprises out for a while. Thank you!!!

@carl669 I was summoned?

@Barney Uh, you could say something along the lines that your husband is having exploratory surgery along with the removal of one of his kidneys? It kind of dances around what is really happening.

@Barney I am sorry, Barney, I didn’t mean to knock you over … Seriously, we will be fine… we are very very very lucky. We are very upbeat, not even cautiously optimistic Surgeon was amazed that insurance even approved that the tests because he is so asymptomatic…

@mikibell No, no, no! You don’t need to be sorry. We are all here to support you. I hope you realize that.

@Barney I certainly do… that is why I reached out – where else can you ask such a question???

@mikibell Purple love to you. I have to go. See you later.

@MrGlass

@MrGlass yes, ouch… and he is such a guy, he is making this as bad as a man-cold!!! I am not sure my sanity will take 4 weeks of him being still. OY!!

@mikibell Invest in a gaming machine. Games are the only way I stayed sane after my big surgeries.

@mikibell I do have a suggestion on how to channel the man-cold urges. Buy a DNA test (23andme, Ancestry DNA, FamilyTree DNA), which involves spitting into a tube. After 3 weeks or so, he can log in and download his raw data. Then go to Promethease.com and upload the data (costs $5. and takes 20 minutes to run and download the results). Then he has a zillion reports to obsess over, discover that his ancestors apparently were Romany, and find contradictory and current medical studies showing that he’s prone to ingrown toenails, which will keep him harmlessly obsessed.

@MrGlass I have a tablet ready for him to use, he has a pc that he uses for games… I may have to move it to where ever he is recuperating…

@OldCatLady I don’t think he will go for that… need something like online Risk or something he can get engrossed in. He doesn’t do being still well…

@mikibell Steam? I wonder if you can get a cheap, lightweight laptop that will work with game streaming. Also, beware carpal tunnel from typing/mousing with a weird posture.

@MrGlass I was thinking Chromebook?? Does that work with steam? I know they just announced google play will work on them… And carpal tunnel is already an issue… trying to talk him into that surgery when he is recovered, because we are going to hit all deductibles/etc this year

@mikibell Chromebook wont work, you need PC/Mac or a Steam Machine (they make set top boxes now). Details at http://store.steampowered.com/streaming/

I bet if you do some googling you can find a review of the lightest/cheapest laptop that works for it.

@MrGlass oh drats… that means I have to let him use my laptop – we have separate machines, because as discussed in another thread, I don’t take the plastic off new appliances He likes to change settings and frustrates me when things don’t work the way they should on my pc. I like error messages that tell me I am being stupid – he turns them all off. Sigh… but if that is the worst I have to deal with, I won’t complain (too loudly!!!) I think I can suffer in silence… Thank you for the info.

@MrGlass @mikibell Some people like GOG better than Steam; games are all DRM-free.
Maybe a pair of the cheap VR goggles for a taste of full immersion?

@compunaut I have heard of GOG, someone posted it somewhere in the forum… if he gets a water based game, can I just skip the goggles and throw a bucket of water on him???

@mikibell The steam controller works pretty well, can set his computer up on a TV and then a lot less sitting up is required. I have a ton of extra steam keys I can send your way if he needs some more games.

@compunaut

cheap VR goggles

No such animal, not worth owning for gaming anyhow. Google Cardboard and such aren’t suitable for gaming really, Gear VR is fun but it requires a smartphone, overheats, and is limited to Android games.

@mikibell For $50 you can get a steam link that will allow him to stream all his games from his PC to the TV

http://store.steampowered.com/app/353380/

@metaphore Hi… so, I mentioned your offer of steam keys to my husband and he was like “why didn’t you say YES!” – because I have NO clue what that means!!! He wants some game to play against my son and would greatly appreciate a steam key. Is it too late to accept your generous offer?

If not, username at onmyhonor dot com will connect you to me.

If so, thank you anyways!

Thank you, either way!!!

@mikibell Offer’s still good. I’m making a list of what I have and I’ll email that to you in a few minutes.

@metaphore Got it! Thank you… I will let you know.

@OldCatLady Awesome… I tried last night, but couldn’t find anything useful, my head did hurt however… I will try this link! Thank you.

@mikibell I’ll bet your head DOES hurt. I’m sorry. The search I used was ‘fundraiser dinner cancer kidney’, and I must disclose that I own GOOGL stock, in case anyone thinks I’m shilling.

@joelmw I like the goofy picture idea… I am always lighthearted, but I don’t want to insult people who think this is very serious. For some people, it really is serious and I don’t ever want to offend them or appear to be offensive. Thank you for the input…

@mikibell I think how ever you do this, it should be a reflection of the two of you and who you are. Everyone who knows you will appreciate it and if you use a bit of silliness, they will see that you are all still being you and be comforted by that.

@jaremelz hehehe not everyone appreciates my silliness on a good day I really worry about my kids, so far they are calm and trusting. We warned them people are going to use words that don’t apply. We gave them “cancer” and “dialysis” as examples. We made them laugh because we told them the biggest impact is that their dad will have to be careful whilst playing sports. This is incongruous with their image of their father – he is the least athletic person they know. EVEN I am more athletic, and that is a stretch!! Deep breaths are keeping me sane…

@mikibell Keeping the kids laughing will most certainly help them deal with this. The other thing will be when they see that after healing up for a bit, dad is still dad. As far as sports go, hey if you approach Wii boxing with enough enthusiasm, it totally counts! I burn calories swearing at the xbox. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Breathe. Remember when you start losing your smile to just breathe. Those are the words given to me by a friend as they help me navigate some things right now. When you feel your heart speed up just take a few deep breaths and remember all of this, including the financial issues, will pass.
Allow those who care for you to help you. Allowing others to help is just as much a sign of love as giving is.

@mikibell I’ve heard that a fruity adult beverage or margarita can help maintain sanity. Not too many, though
Embrace the offered help. It helps create a team atmosphere: 'We’re all in this together’
Best wishes

@jaremelz I have said, and I keep this image in my head – You have to get through the rainstorm to see the rainbows – Accepting help is a struggle that I expect I will overcome. My parents are covering my one non-essential expense, my kids’ private school tuition. I have gratefully accepted that… the downside of giving so often is there is an onslaught of people who want to help. I am trying to imagine things to ask people to help with, there will be no stopping some people What I reaalllly need is to know how to deal with the darn poison ivy in the yard without contaminating my garden. I suspect, I will be the one mowing the lawn and I don’t want to become allergic to the crap! I am hoping someone offers to mow so I don’t have to

@mikibell Round-Up makes an herbicide spray specifically for poison ivy (somehow penetrates the waxy leaves & stems), but it might be difficult to keep it only on the weeds.
From an Amazon review: One shot and it dies quickly… I found this product to really do the trick. I had an unknown patch in my front yard and needed to find a way to get rid of it. Using Roundup Poison Ivy ‘stream’ I was able to attack not only the foliage but the base to penetrate the root system without disturbing other perennials close by. In several days these poison ivy plants just wilted, curled up and pretty much dried up.

@compunaut yeah… that’s the problem, my vegetable garden is in the same area… kids don’t seem to be allergic to it, or know what they need to avoid when picking the vegetables… I should have thought of this before we planted the garden – sigh, one more thing …

Thank you!!

@compunaut yes, fruity beverages and I are going to become close acquaintances… thank you for the wishes!!

@mikibell I am about to have to start asking grandmas for help with short stack as the need to return to work is urgent. I hate the idea, and the large amount of that bastard, “the unknown” that’s coming my way in the next many months. All we can do is breathe. And sometimes drink.

@jaremelz @mikibell

If either of you would rather not be the one to do the drinking, I’m sure any qualifying meh-mber would be willing to do it for you

@compunaut Add one more detail: Go to the dollar store and get garden gloves. Use them to handle the poison ivy. When it’s all in the bag, THROW THE GLOVES IN TOO.

@jaremelz Good luck!!!

@FroodyFrog I shouldn’t drink… but sometimes, I just do what I have to do

@OldCatLady Oh… that I knew… and the clothes I wear… (poor neighbors are going to go blind with the bright white!!)

@mikibell Wishing you all the best with the serious matters you have to deal with. My only advice is with the poison ivy. Use plastic bags like gloves. Turn them inside out and put your hand in. Grab the offending plant and pull it up. Turn the bag right way out and tie it up, you’ve never touched the poison ivy and it is sealed up to be thrown away. Wear gloves too if you want, it might be overkill or it might be an extra layer of protection.

@joelmw @mikibell I like all those ideas from joelmw. If the kidney is coming out to check it out, you could put that the removal is “diagnostic” or some such, if you want to supply more detail.

Lots of great ideas in all these replies! Good luck to you and your family. I’ve had two different cancers so far. I expect to live another 30 years.

@sligett “Diagnostic” is good.

@AnnaB Awwww… that is so sweet… we are on opposite shores, unfortunately… I am one of those whiny East Coasters

@mikibell ex-East Coaster, myself…

So many people helped when I was sick. I just try to pass some of that on.

@AnnaB Honestly, I would say yes if you were closer, I am tired of thinking up new ideas that all will eat !!! I have been cooking soups and creating casseroles so all I have to do is pop stuff in the oven. Unfortunately, summer is normally salads and light stuff to eat which are not conducive to make ahead

Your offer was greatly appreciated!!

@mfladd Thank you @mfladd … The closest is on Lonnnggg Eyegland… you are sweet to offer the gift certificates. My husband has nixed the crowdfunding idea… he only agreed to dinner because people get something in exchange for the $$. I am even surprised he agreed to that. I am truly worried about looking like we are money grubbing – not to say that crowdfunding is, just that we should be reasonable ok without it…

@mfladd giveforward is similar.

@mikibell The things I learn on Meh. I thought it was Lawn Guyland.

@medz OMG… you brought tears to my eyes!!!

@medz You win the internets today.

@mikibell Please do this. And, honestly, this is exactly the sort of thing I had in mind. The sort of thing; I’m not trying to hijack any praise due @medz. Though I’ll gladly plagiarize in the future, should the need ever arise.

@joelmw Yeah, I’m not even sure I used some of those words correctly. Something along those lines would be good though.

@brhfl that is hilarious!!! I even know where the tumor should go in that picture thank you!!!

@mikibell Glad you like it. Occurred to me after the fact that I should’ve just spent the extra thirty seconds on the feet. Much better, if you ask me:

@mikibell Could you say something like he’s getting out in front of the Big C by having a kidney removed?

@Pavlov -groan-

@Barney Groan???

They could have the dinner by a stream, or a pool. I’d serve yellow sno-cones . . . chili with kidney beans . . . steak and kidney pie (hold the kidney) . . . Mr. I. P. Freely could be the event organizer . . .

IME, the funnier the better.

@Pavlov

(Courtesy of @medz)

@Pavlov Remind me to have you organize my fundraiser in a few years. On second thought – never mind.

@Barney

There better be purple.

@Barney @Pavlov I’ve come to understand that a groan is the highest form of praise for a good pun.

@joelmw It is.

@Pavlov you had my vote with the pun! Amazingly, hubby said no…I am so disappointed in him. Thank you.

@mehtherfucker hmm, I probably should have read the whole thread.

My fault, I was super busy and checking my emails and got tagged so I thought about it while working, didn’t bother to read though everything. The humor angle is a good one, but not everyone is receptive to it, glad it suited @mikibell

@mehtherfucker ?? I swear that image looks like a foot sticking out of his head?

@jbartus thank you! All suggestions are welcome. We tend to be lighthearted, but even I was concerned about offending people.

@mikibell I’m reasonably certain it’s meant to be emotive of ‘facepalmed so hard my hand went through my face’.

That’s how I interpreted it, anyhow, with the impetus being my completely unnecessary suggestions in lieu of the far more fun ones that you seemed to have adopted.

I blame @medz for @carz669’s having named me and my being too busy to read through at the time and see I was a day late and a dollar short.

@jbartus ouch, that would be awful! @carl669 is quite often to blame, but isn’t it @medz’s goat month still? @mehtherfucker thank you for the defense…all is good

@mikibell I apportioned blame appropriately! @medz knows what they’ve done!

@jbartus oh, you are right… I read a different name…tired old lady here…not the years, it is the miles…

@MsELizardBeth what about Steak and Kidney Pie?

@MsELizardBeth my bil is cooking…he is an awesome chef… I dont think I can talk him into kidney beans.

@jbartus ummm not sure i could palate that…:)

@mikibell I can’t say whether I could or not either.

He could make chili with kidney beans in it in lieu of a traditional soup course!

@baqui63 that is a very nice gesture

@baqui63 your offer is amazing…thank you. I live in the pass through state I will be in NYC in Sept…we will certainly wave in the direction of Flushings and blow hugs/kisses your way.

@mikibell hmmm… not sure which one is the pass through state… I’d guess maybe Delaware since I’ve only ever passed through it (well, once we stopped at one of the restaurants on the interstate) but I can think of other states to which this term might apply. (BTW- googling pass through state is all about taxes.)

I’m guessing by NYC you mean Manhattan (called “the city” by people who live east of it, like me). Flushing, in fact, all of Queens, Brooklyn and the Bronx, is part of NYC (see note below). While I rarely go into the city, I have done it to meet people or see a show on occasion. (I live about 3.5 miles from my job at Queens College: daily commute is almost never more than 20 minutes, whether I bike or drive.)

Note: Technically, Staten Island is also part of NYC, but even the people who live there don’t try to kid themselves about this one… you have to cross one of the longest bridges in the world to get to the rest of NYC, or take a ferry (albeit a free one).

@callow Awesome! Kids are tricky, and that was exactly our biggest fear – their imaginations!.. you just reminded me I forgot to post an update!

@mikibell Yay!

@mikibell I’m so glad to hear this. Best lottery win EVER! (I hate insurance companies.)

@mikibell Yippee good outcome! Darn those insurance companies. I would be arguing with them just out of stubbornness. If they agreed to pay before and are now backing out now, I would be livid.

Is he behaving himself?