I have some questions on shipping (they're easy)

@Thumperchick Hey wait a minute, no secets here! All of us wine buyers want to know the answer. Do we have to sit on our porches all of the possible delivery days waiting for our wine? That’s like, three whole days we have to stay sober.

@Barney If I had a solid answer that applied across the board, I would post it. We had to verify valid shipping addresses, get the order batched together, send it to the guy who sends it to the winery who steps on your grapes…
Don’t stay sober. Just wait for your tracking email? I’ll post an update when I have more.

@Thumperchick 'K, thanks!

@Thumperchick

Don’t stay sober.

@therealjrn

@Barney said:

Hey wait a minute, no secets here! All of us wine buyers want to know the answer. Do we have to sit on our porches all of the possible delivery days waiting for our wine? That’s like, three whole days we have to stay sober.

No no no no no.

Correct, no secrets here. All needs to be public.

Because, I need to know, so that I can sit on @shrdlu’s porch, on the right day, and sign for that shipment.

After which, I’ll drink some, leave some (am not completely horrible, only partially horrible), and make off with some.
Perhaps make off with just a bottle. . Just 'cause. For the challenge, you know?

No need to stay completely sober tho. Why would I ever do that?

Yes, I could have ordered my own.

As a matter of fact, I did just that. Ordered.

Since I use a maildrop (with excellent friends working there), no at-home signature problems for me!

I don’t actually need @shrdlu’s wine. I prob already have too many bottles already, waiting for me.

But the idea of waiting at her place, trying to substitute my reprehensible and worthless signature for the legit one, sounds so entertaining!

Why torment @shrdlu, instead of some other worthy wine buyer?

She has firearms. I want this to be fun.

Nothing like an arsenal…

/giphy super soaker

@f00l But you have to be sober in order to sign for @shrdlu’s wine.

@Barney @f00l You don’t have to be sober, you just can’t be drunk. Usually if you can sign your name that’s good enough for the delivery guy.

@f00l @barney I have delivered to homes for two companies. Neither had rules about being sober or clothed for that matter. Conscious and halfway coherent perhaps. Drunks tip better as a general rule.

I think we need to send @Shrdlu on a nice getaway. We can watch for her wine delivery

@metaphore
@Barney

I’m perfectly willing to attempt the appearance of sobriety.

May or may not be true.
May or may not be convincing.
May or may not be influenced by alcohol, as opposed to other options.

I may or may not be rational during the “procedure”.

I may or may not be full of little holes, after this adventure is completed.

@metaphore Isn’t sober the opposite of drunk? As for signing my name, I’ve gotta work on that.

@speediedelivery The world is not ready to see me without my clothes.

@Thumperchick
/image trolls bridge

Six jugs of wine shared among 17 trolls is only one 8 ounce mug of wine per troll. Are trolls light drinkers, or am i not?

@eonfifty

Hello, future Goat.

You even changed out the cartoon! And another change! Changes upon changes! Better and better.

@Barney There’s the tipsy in-between, when you’re only a drink in and starting to feel good but can still function.

@eonfifty

Are trolls light drinkers, or am i not?

Technically

You may or may not be NOT.

@Thumperchick I did as you asked, and sent in a note, using your name with @ as you’d requested. For those that believe wine can be intercepted at my house:

The FedEx guy that brings alcohol knows me.
I have a small deck at the front door, which is up a flight of stairs, and visible to neighbors. There is no plan for any “getaway” since I loathe travel, and am content to stay at home.

I tried the order phrase in the track by reference, and got nothing, but it wasn’t an error, just a sign that it hasn’t yet been sent (in my past experience).

@Shrdlu

For those that believe wine can be intercepted at my house:

I did not/do not believe the shipment could be intercepted by some sort of idiot jokester/@f00l.
(or by the likes of people who were not deliberately intending true criminality, anyway).

I just pursued what seemed to me (known for poor judgment) to be a fine and amusing fantasy.

I am not quite stupid or unemphathetic or venal enough to actually mess with people in a serious way.
And I hate causing hassle and trouble for people. Actually do kinda seriously hate it.

Even tho I have been quite guilty of of this fault (tho not proud of this moral error), at times. Too many times. Way too many.
Guilty. But rarely for reasons of an attempted “prank”.

And I’ve mostly outgrown the whole area of “adolescent pranks”, so called.

And then there is, within this fantasy, the choice of “proposed intended target”.
And the consequent barrier to action; substantial mad respect. Seriously.

I could not have actually acted, for that reason alone, even I actually lacked other social, maturity, and ethical constraints.

I hope you can forgive my little “possibly amusing adventure concept fantasy”.

/giphy "adventure concept"

/giphy "mad respect"

@shrdlu

That second /giphy in the post just above is an accurate self-portrait of a @f00l.

I must add that one to my various profiles.

I wonder if the Tx DOT might put that image on my DL.

@f00l I do have a sense of humor, you know.

You worry too much.

@Shrdlu

I do have a sense of humor, you know.

I know. Just hadn’t played upon it in a while. My apologies.

You worry too much

Yes. I do. Congenital or deeply habituated or something.
Oh well.

But you knew that. And I knew you knew.

All cool. ; )

@eonfifty you assume the trolls are only drinking ops wine they are drinking yours as well.

@Shrdlu wine is going to be a different beast when offered. I hope the tracking updates quickly and shifts to a much more convenient day.

@Thumperchick even if not, they will attempt at least 3 times, so you’d still be able to get it Friday