Happy National Kids and Pets Day!

Yes indeedy! April 26th, every year!

Kids! And Pets!!

To be honest, this one is a bit of a cop-out. It’s like they picked two things everyone loves (or at least agrees are sometimes cute). A day made for advertising agencies selling cars, or insurance, or paper towels… But, could they not have given each their due - their own day? Considering how highly most of us tend to value our kids and pets, would it have been too much to ask that each get their own damn day? To make it worse, April 24th (for example) has only two national days - National Pigs in a Blanket and National Teach Children to Save days. The Teach Children to Save day isn’t even necessarily on the 24th - that one is scheduled for some arbitrary day every April. So according to the sagacious beings who concoct this stuff, pigs in a blanket is the celebratory equivalent of not just kids, and not just pets, but the heartwarming, life-affirming, soul-validating combination of both of them. Combined. That’s what pigs in a blanket is to the committee of fucking morons who think this stuff matters. What the hell is wrong with these ASSHOLES?!? I’ll fucking tear them up - shred those psychopathic losers NEW assholes, and then rip those to bits and pieces!!! I’ll –

WTF was I talking about again?