Grammar Police: Dun dun dun!

@blaineg

Wow!!!

Just so very !!!

@blaineg One of my favorites is “defiantly” used in place of “definitely” - it adds an amusing air of pugnacity to whatever they’re proclaiming.

@blaineg @Kyeh And then there’s the swing-and-a-miss version, “definatly”.

@blaineg @Kyeh @werehatrack If you put an ‘A’ in definitely, youre definitely an A-hole.

@blaineg @Kyeh My auto correct spell checker has definantly definitely done this to me more than once.

@blaineg @Kyeh
I’m not ashamed to admit that I had to look up what the heck pugnacity meant! I hated school (except for any and all art classes and the social aspect) English class (along with history) was definitely one of the most frustrating for me!

@blaineg @Kyeh Im so dissappointed that defiantly isnt on the list. Maybe nextime theyll rember.

@blaineg @Lynnerizer I like the word; it makes me think of an indignant pug dog:

@blaineg @Kyeh
He definitely looks like he means business! Rrrruff… chomp chomp

@MarkDaSpark He should ask his doctor for a stronger subscription.

@januarymick @MarkDaSpark Looks like he’s caught a bad case of ammonia…

@MarkDaSpark BRILLIANT!

@Kyeh This is giving me a stroke.

@Kyeh @PooltoyWolf Wow this is so wrong at so many level’s.

@Kyeh @mehcuda67

@mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf
A little something to offend practically everyone!
I like the “high fullutent (sophisticated?) swine.”

@PooltoyWolf You had a great youtube clip of George Carlin ranting about language… I can’t remember exactly what though.

@Kyeh @mehcuda67 Notably though, they seem to have left out ‘furry’s’. Heh

@Kyeh I did? LOL!

@mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf
I bet they just hadn’t heard of them yet.

@PooltoyWolf
I was hoping you remembered it!

@Kyeh @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf Wow. They’ll let anyone buy poster board, won’t they? Idiot’s.

@ircon96 @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf
That actually looks like a vinyl banner. They let them go on TV on Faux News, so …
From the Wordsmith page:

So many people to hate, so little time.
If there’s an apostrophe hell this has to be it. If you see that fellow with his banner, ask him, “Why do you ♥ the apostrophe so much? Repent and believe in grammar.”

@Kyeh @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf Yeah, you’re definitely right, i probably should have written “poster-making materials.” Whatever it is, they let those “morans” attempt to put words on it, an unforgivable transgression!

@mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf
@ircon96 “moran’s”

@ircon96 @Kyeh @PooltoyWolf Well, we’ve got war, pandemic and food shortages. I’m just waiting for the 4th Horseman of the Apostrophe.

@Kyeh @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf

@Kyeh @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf

“high fullutent (sophisticated?) swine.”

I think the “sport nut’s” was supposed to go with it (since almost every other line includes an apostrophe!) … so properly:

“high fullutent sophisticated swine sport nut’s”

@Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @mehcuda67 @PooltoyWolf
yeah, that’s my take on it too. Each of the ‘apostrophes’ are modifiers of the next/previous one until you get to one without the apostrophe. Leaves only about a half dozen folks to hate!

@PooltoyWolf @MarkDaSpark @mehcuda67 @chienfou
That’s far too charitable of you.
I think he’s just a hate-filled ignoramus.

@k4evryng I love this a lot.

@Kyeh me too! And of course I just posted something on another thread and accidentally used your instead of you’re. Ugh.
After re-reading it outside of the 5 minute editing window, I totally cringed and had to correct myself.

I absolutely know the difference between your and you’re, to, two and too, and they’re, there and their.

(And I’m sure this has errors as well. Now I’m paranoid, lol!)

@k4evryng Typos aren’t the same as grammatical errors, even though they’re embarrassing. The autofill function on my phone trips me up sometimes, very annoying.

@k4evryng @Kyeh I haven’t seen that in ages, thanks for posting it & giving me a chuckle! I agree, the edit window & autoINcorrect are my nemeses & i am determined to defeat them one day.

@k4evryng I’m a copy editor, so I have an excuse for wanting to be perfect. It can make reading challenging because I notice so many mistakes; I had to stop reading one book because it was so full of grammatical errors. Of course, I’m the person who edits Wikipedia articles for fun and thinks the Washington Post’s standards have slipped because one article had a misused comma and another one had an extraneous hyphen.

@lisagd What a cool job! I can definitely see how it might be difficult to read less than perfect grammar, especially when reading for enjoyment. I bet reading in casual forums makes your eyes cross!

I’ve been away from teaching for a long time, and my poor writing shows! I used to be able to diagram a sentence in my sleep. Now I’m an ellipsis and incorrectly placed comma queen.

What I find extremely interesting is how regional language affects the written word. For example, the use of sale instead of sell in a sentence seems to be regional (“I’ve got to sale this car tomorrow”). Or saying “I’m standing on line for tickets” instead of “I’m standing in line”. I see this frequently and when I do, it makes my head hurt. To me, that’s so different than calling sneakers tennis shoes. That’s regional, but doesn’t break any grammatical rules.

Also, how some words that are perpetually written incorrectly then become the accepted version. A lot, for example, has been written as alot so often that I believe it’s become grammatically accepted. That feels so wrong, but I think language is so fluid that changes occur and then become the accepted norm.

So I just try to do the best I can, and I’ve forgotten so much that I’m glad I don’t grade papers anymore. And I could never correct a stranger online (as I’ve seen people often do) because it’s hurtful, and doesn’t really accomplish the intended goal.

(Allow me to apologize in advance for the errors that are surely peppered throughout this. )

@k4evryng @lisagd Hey! It’s nice to make the acquaintance of a fellow abuser of ellipses & commas!

I experience a similar level of distraction while reading, even though it wasn’t my career to blame, just plain ol’ OCD. (I’d get a lot more done if I had a cleaning compulsion! ) Speaking of news outlets, I’ve noticed the people who generate the chyron of my local news station could use a proofreader or two, although even the national news programs aren’t immune. It’s very distracting!

@ircon96 @k4evryng @lisagd
I have trouble getting through the edition of the local newspaper on a frequent basis. Their grammar, sentence structure etc are god-awful on a regular basis. It is evident that some of the lines were copy, cut and pasted and then not cleaned up when they got done.

@k4evryng I’ve never seen this and it’s hilarious. I’m not familiar with all of Weird Al’s stuff, but everything I’ve heard is gold. He’s the best, irregardless of what people say!

@k4evryng @zinimusprime
ISWYDT!

@chienfou @k4evryng @zinimusprime dang, I missed that. Well done!

@momojiri Made me laugh.

@momojiri I’ve seen that meme and I want it on a shirt.

@Kidsandliz. So you were a Rebel with a Clause?

@Kidsandliz @MarkDaSpark The Santa Clause might be applicable, but theirs[sic] already some movie’s about them [sic sic]

@Kidsandliz @MarkDaSpark @pmarin “Your” a “sic” puppy!

@MarkDaSpark

So you were a Rebel with a Clause?

Yup cause I wanted to keep from being punished.

@MarkDaSpark @pmarin

[sic sic]

You are one sick puppy.

@MarkDaSpark
Brilliant!

@IndifferentDude

You forgot Which Witch cast the spell!

@IndifferentDude @MarkDaSpark
Also I’m going to pare a pair of pears.

@IndifferentDude @MarkDaSpark
could be worse. I use a French sentence when I want to give an example of how tough that language is that goes:
Le ver va vers le verre de verre vert.
5 of those words are pronounced the same. It translates to: The worm goes toward(s) the glass of green glass.

@chienfou @IndifferentDude @MarkDaSpark
Love it!

@chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark
I’ll see you and raise you several:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

@chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @phendrick Seriously? You guys missed one of the best examples.

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_buffalo_Buffalo_buffalo

@chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @phendrick

: )

@chienfou @f00l @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @phendrick That’s insane!
I can’t imagine trying to learn English…the exceptions to the rules are vast.
Like good and food. How do you explain to someone why they sound different?

My sincere hats off to those of you who know more than one language fluently, and learned them as an adult. I’m a super strong believer in teaching kids at least one other language when they are in the primary grades because it’s too hard when you’re old, lol!

[@chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark]
@yakkoTDI
Seriously, you (singular) guy missed the post immediately above yours?
But, I’ll excuse you if @CharlieDoggo takes the blame.

@chienfou @f00l @IndifferentDude @Kyeh
@MarkDaSpark
Thanks for the show & tell, it’s much clearer now.

@CharlieDoggo @chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @phendrick That’s what I get for posting while at work.

@CharlieDoggo @chienfou @IndifferentDude @MarkDaSpark @phendrick @yakkoTDI
It’s very clever, but it’s kind of a cheat because nobody would actually ever say that. Good teaching tool, though.

@chienfou @f00l @IndifferentDude @k4evryng @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark
I knew some Polish growing up, because when we would visit for a week or two annually, my mother spoke it with her parents who weren’t too good with English and with her siblings when they didn’t want us kids to hear their gossip or their discussion of how to punish us. :>)
But I would have trouble with understanding more than a half dozen words now, due to lack of practice.

OTOH, I took two years of (classical?) Latin during 9th and 10th grade, made "A"s, thought it was fun, and never regretted it a bit since it helps learning English vocabulary (and helps me laugh at lawyers sometimes).
Still remember the opening of our reader:
“Omnia Gallia est divisa in tres partes”, or some such; I’m not sure about the order of the words.
(Apparently, nobody else is, either:
https://mymemory.translated.net/en/Latin/English/omnia-gallia-in-partes-tres-devisa-est
– Gallia est omnis divisa in partes tres
https://prezi.com/pp85ynrlfklf/gallia-est-omnis-divisa-in-partes-tres/
https://emuseum.delart.org/objects/7557/gallia-omnia-divisa-est-in-partes-tres
)

@chienfou @IndifferentDude @Kyeh @MarkDaSpark @phendrick @yakkoTDI WOOF! What. This makes no sense so I take blame, but it costs three peanut butter treats OR one crunchy frog!

@f00l Also

@f00l @Kyeh

@MarkDaSpark One comma is enough to save that one. Two is neither wrong, nor more correct.

@MarkDaSpark @werehatrack Hard no - the oxford comma should be mandatory.

@MarkDaSpark @werehatrack @zinimusprime I will forever use the Oxford comma…

@k4evryng @werehatrack @zinimusprime

Did you miss my post above? Walken or Shatner comma!

@k4evryng @MarkDaSpark @werehatrack Yes, I laughed for at least a literal minute.

@MarkDaSpark I loved it! I had to read it out loud to my husband while trying to do my best Walken and Shatner impression.

(I’m sure anyone who is familiar with them…which is everyone…totally read them in their voice! ) So funny!

@k4evryng Same here. “Fishes” is for Gollum. We hates it, Precious.

@k4evryng Or try explaining that the plural of “goose” is “geese” while the plural of “noose” is “nooses” and of “moose” is … “moose”.

@rockblossom Yup! Crazy, right??

@k4evryng @rockblossom If “lice” is the plural of “louse” and “mice” the plural of “mouse”, then “dice” must be the plural of “douse” and “rice” the plural of “rouse”?

@phendrick @rockblossom Good Lord…the list is never ending, lol!

I suppose I shouldn’t wonder why so many struggle…our language is nuts!

@k4evryng @phendrick And if something is “plural” then reason would dictate that there must be a “singular”. So why will no one sell me a pant or a trouser, but only a “pair of” them?

@k4evryng @phendrick @rockblossom Oh, the fashionistas are constantly talking about
“a pant.” I think it sounds so stupid.
Unless it only has one leg!

@k4evryng @phendrick @rockblossom
Here you go:
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/one-legged-pants-trend

@Kyeh @phendrick @rockblossom yeah…that’s ridiculous! I think my ears would bleed if I heard someone say “a pant”.
That’s just trying to make fetch happen that should absolutely never, ever happen.

@k4evryng @phendrick @rockblossom Sadly it HAS happened; did you ever watch “What Not to Wear?” I thought it was fun, but Stacey always said “a pant.” What, did they cut off a leg with “a scissor?”

@Kyeh I got a new “pair” of kitchen shears and was delighted that they were made to come apart for cleaning. So each piece would be a “scissor” or a “shear” - though they do seem to work best as a pair.

@rockblossom
Well, that makes sense!

@Kyeh We ALL could go on and on, and usually do.

@Kyeh I’m just glad I don’t have to learn it. I would epically fail I think!

I also apologize to you if my comments are…umm…far less than poetic and lean much closer to clumsy!

But I am so in awe of people who know how to speak and/or write English properly. It’s becoming harder and harder to find them unfortunately.

(And I say this because even some of my older friends use n for and, as well as numbers for words. Soon the language will all just look like code! )

@k4evryng
You have nothing to apologize for!
Plus I don’t think mistakes, typos, etc. in casual conversations are worthy of scorn, but it IS frustrating that standards for newspapers and news broadcasts, etc. have gotten so lax.
One thing I see pretty often that I hate is when people use no punctuation at all just running their sentences into another for long paragraphs of text I often see this in other forums not so much here I think this is a pretty literate crowd

@k4evryng @Kyeh

You forgot about when people SHOUT by using ALL CAPS the whole sentence (or paragraph)!

@k4evryng @MarkDaSpark Yeah - there was a woman on my local NextDoor who did that and someone finally chewed her out for it. She got all defensive about it but changed her ways. She still uses too many caps, though.