G.O.A.T. 1 - Military Captain


So, who is the Greatest Of All Time? My penance for being to blame for everything is to list who I think is the GOAT in various categories.

For GOAT 1, I’m looking at Military Captains… (or am I)

This is about Wilhelm Voigt, (Greatest of All Time Military Captains), a 19th century captain in the Prussian military. One day in August, he stopped some soldiers marching outside the barracks and ordered them to come along with him. Then, he went to the shooting range and picked up some more soldiers for his mission that day.

Captain Voigt took these men, via train (free of charge, of course, because it was a military-sanctioned mission) to the nearby town of Kopenick. He stopped by the Police Station and gave an order to the police to make sure they maintained perfect law and order that day; then he went to the Post Office and made sure that they wouldn’t allow any phone calls to be made to Berlin for the day.

Then taking his soldiers to the town house he arrested the treasurer and mayor, on order of the Kaiser, for crooked bookkeeping, flirted openly with the mayor’s wife, and then confiscated over 4000 marks from the town’s bank. He confiscated the money personally and had his soldiers take the arrested mayor and treasurer to Berlin to be sentenced by the Kaiser.

If you’re thinking that he doesn’t sound particularly impressive for a Captain, you’re right. I lied, he’s not the Greatest Military Captain of all time; he’s the Greatest Conman of all time.

Herr Voigt had never spent a day in the military, had no experience with them whatsoever, he just found a used Captain’s uniform in a second hand shop and decided to use it to steal money.

Voigt was eventually captured (a friend snitched on him) but was pardoned by the Kasier because of the sheer balls of his plans.

So he is my “GOAT” conman. Please feel free to disagree and list your own Greatest of All Time Conmen.