@gertiestn ??

@mehthafucka

That'll work fine (and save bandwidth) - I'll throw you a star!

Everyone: Feel free to participate however you would like / can / are comfortable - it really is my hope that everyone has fun! I have some pretty decent little boxes put together as prizes! I just wanted to do a little something different as goat this month and I thought this would be enjoyable!

@Starblind I will apologize in advance for this clip

@mfladd I seem to remember an old Kirby commercial that was eerily similar to this. Never been able to find it when I've looked for it since then...

@thejackalope I was wrong it's this [Yoshi commercial][1] [1]:

@mfladd I'm offended by your apology.

@thejackalope Good find. I was looking for the one you mentioned but I couldn't find it. There are so many damn Kirby commercials.

@joelmw Don't be. It's becoming trend :)

@nadroj LMAO

@Starblind Ok, my favorite so far....

@Starblind

@Starblind I think we have a runaway winner here.

@Starblind So good.
We're not worthy! We're not worthy!

@Starblind I think this is the most stars I've ever seen on a post!

@Starblind Please send an email to codenamepavlov@gmail.com and I'll have someone in my husband's office get back with you soon - we're moving him in a few hours to Rochester but I'll make sure this taken care of soon - he'll ask about it and I promised him I'd take care of it.

@MrsPavlov Still stunned this is on either of your minds. Hope the move goes smoothly and that he's reasonably comfortable given his condition.

@ACraigL The contest was one of the first three things he asked about when I got to the hosptial Friday morning - it was, as silly as it seems, very important to him. He asked about me and our son first, then he asked about the other people that were with him (especially he was concerned with the other gentleman that was injured) and then he asked about his fuku give-away. The nurse had no idea what a fuku was and just stared at him balnkly while I laughed, he looked at her and said she had a nice ass and for a kiss he'd tell her all about it. I pretty much knew right then he was going to be okay, he's just going to need some titanium parts and he'll be back to his old self in a couple months. I think he cares about this community so much because after he first published a contact email address long ago when he gave away the first fuku in a contest, a lot of other members here wrote to him and they've all become friends over time - they were even planning a BBQ get together for August here in KC and he sent the demo reel to a number of people that requested it and picked up a very large project with InBev as a result of the connections he made on this forum. @Starblind, I have your email and from the address you sent it from, I have no doubt it is you - I'm going to follow up to Minnesota in the morning and I'll have your package sent this week, I need to drop it and a bunch of other things by the office before I go tomorrow - family is flying in to watch our son and then I can join my husband. Thank you for the very kind email. @Pavlov is resting well after the flight they tell me and I'll check in from time to time over the next several weeks. Thank you all and God bless.

@MrsPavlov Very relieved to hear he has his humor. Thanks so much for the update, please convey our best to your husband.

@MrsPavlov Thanks for the update.

@MrsPavlov Indeed! I laughed at this and glad he appears on the right trajectory for recovery. So glad to hear it!

@MrsPavlov So glad to hear he is don't so well!

great job! but I will make you a deal - remove the star you gave yourself and I will replace it with mine. No self-starring in a meme deathmatch.

@mfladd The OP specifically said self-starring is OK though: "feel free to star multiple submissions, as well as your own".

@Starblind damn, I didn't even see that...details...details..it's always the fine print that is my undoing. (but I still couldn't do it) Nevermind, @revloki star given.

@mfladd Rules say self starring is OK.

@revloki I know that now (my apologies). Put your star back on. It is one of my favorites.

@mfladd CLOSE THE POD BAY DOORS, HAL! CLOSE 'EM NOW!

@ACraigL lol...you are disturbed in a good way :)

@mfladd There's no way something ISN'T living in that guy's gut.

@ACraigL you are probably right, also the lower intestines was a nice touch.

@ACraigL

@mfladd That's the inspiration :)

@eyewerks oh crap, I starred your question asking if this is @pavlov 's selfie -- I thought that was your entry!!

@mikibell Looks like my "selfie??" comment got deleted with @pavlov's second post. I think perhaps I need to add it again. :)

@eyewerks ah well.. I thought it was cute.. not having any idea what @pavlov looks like..

@revloki Don't stop at two. I want to see more.

@revloki Needs more keyboard Glen.

@revloki Three Irk Moon!!

@eyewerks No.

@JonT ew.

@ACraigL Aww, I'm a sucker for some good Idiocracy quotes.
Go away! 'Batin'!

Oops, forgot to click the link for the hidden posts.

@connorbush @tombrend I just reread the thread and saw that you already went this route. My dearest apologies for intellectual thievery. It was unintentional.

@connorbush Your execution was much better than my half-hearted attempt- I'd say this falls under "fair use".

@bluecolor You might as well go ahead and throw your fit now.

@MrMark This was hanging on my office door before I saw it here . . . thanks a lot. :P (But it is fookin' funny)

@mfladd you will make a great birthday goat, solving all of my lazy issues. Damn you @Pavlov for making me too lazy to post that picture in my original response!

@TaRDy you know I just re-read this comment: I should never have starred it. Uh-uh bitch you are the next birthday goat - you have it coming! :) Nice try.

I haven't touched photoshop in years

@connorbush Ha! The photoshop people could have a field day using that one,

@mfladd Unfortunately, my work computer is lacking my Adobe Suite; perchance I will make the extra effort this evening on the old mac--probably not though. Photoshop brethren, Assemble!

@connorbush damn you @pavlov *

@Pavlov Oh, wait, I mean this ⇩ is all your fault.

@Pavlov - You go, goat!

@Trin Did you peak at the contest sheet?

@Trin Woah, I don't think anyone here is calling you fat. It's just that with the specific lighting and angle in the picture, some of your physical attributes are accentuated more than others, and some of the humour plays off that. Nothing personal was intended against yourself or whoever inflated you.

@Trin I actually started a whole TL;DR reply but then I remembered an early life lesson ("you can't fight stupid son, so don't try", said Dad) and decided to let it go. You obviously have an issue that far exceeds the subject depicted in the image - who isn't at all "fat", by the way. However, in your honor and per your direct suggestion, next week I'll choose an image of a fat, black Jewish lesbian (or will I?).

@Starblind I didn't say a damned thing about my weight. I'm just aware that fat-shaming and ridiculing fat people is "the last acceptable" bigotry.

@pavlov There is absolutely nothing stupid about pointing out bigotry. Seriously, if you were on the street pointing and laughing at this man, I'd say something to you there, too.

@Pavlov and @starblind, I'm gonna cite the pretty terse Meh FAQ here:

Q: What can’t I say in the community? A: Spam sucks. Personal attacks are lame. Bias should be acknowledged.

@Pavlov @starblind In other words, I'm telling you I consider your comments to be skirting close to personal attacks, if not over the line. If you're cool with that, whatever, but I'm not. You're not being witty; you're being rude. Drop it.

@Trin

I didn't say a damned thing about my weight. I'm just aware that fat-shaming and ridiculing fat people is "the last acceptable" bigotry.

Again, (and for the last time) - he's not fat.

There is absolutely nothing stupid about pointing out bigotry. Seriously, if you were on the street pointing and laughing at this man, I'd say something to you there, too.

I wouldn't be laughing, I'd be in complete and total fucking AWE of how cool it would be that he could distend his stomach to make it look that way, intentionally - which is exactly what he's doing for the camera. You do realize, that he's not at all a very large person, and he's leaning forward - quite a lot, in fact - don't you?

As for what is "over the line", I'm positive I'd have heard from @JonT over an hour ago if I was crossing a (any) line . . . I'm not, I didn't - and I won't . . . and I certainly won't even approach the "line", not for the likes of this shite.

I leave you free to be yourself, to think your thoughts, to indulge your tastes, follow your inclinations, and behave in any way that you decide is to your liking.

And with that, I do tip my hat and bid you a fond adieu.

Why is it that there's always one in every crowd? @Pavlov, excellent reply - both of them. @Trin, let me know the next time you come over so I can figure out how you might sit down with that giant stick up your ass. Obviously you don't spend too much time in bars - there's a guy like this in most every tavern in America. He ain't fat.

I apologize, in examining my post above, I made an obvious and unintentional error - I meant to write that he's leaning / pushing his lower abdomen forward in the image (which is apparent to anyone looking closely at the picture) when I wrote "he's leaning forward". As I'm currently goat, I have no one to blame but myself. My apologies.

@Trin

@Trin Last acceptable bigotry... Ugh... White Males, Italians, and Catholics would like a word with you. And as a fat man myself, funny is funny. Enjoy your humorless world.

@Trin The Social Justice Warriors are spilling over from Tumblr! (Also: am fat, but have sense of humor.)

@Trin Yes, Round Beer Picture Man, I will stop being witty because you say so. Do you have any additional requests? Any little thing at all? While I await your further instructions, do you have a brochure or any literature I could look at that outlines the various ways that switching to the brittle, insecure, and bitter lifestyle might benefit me? I mean obviously there's your Sparkling Personality which clearly helps you get on so well with others, but I'm curious about the other benefits. Is there a secret cold clammy handshake? I can't wait to learn more.
[PS: I was being sarcastic.]

@Trin I can understand where you're coming from, I really can - I grew up a chubby kid and was made fun of often. Hell, I could still stand to lose a few pounds. As I got older I learned a very hard lesson – you can't change or control the way other people think, what they say, or really anything else they do, but what you can do is control how you react to it. I'm confident in myself now and I know the person that I am. If someone tried to make fun of me now I would laugh it off in a heartbeat. There have been several gifs and photoshops of me posted that some might consider unflattering, but I know they're not coming from a place of malice and honestly I find it flattering that people would take the time out of their day to do that and try to make me laugh.

All of that said, I believe that your anger is misplaced. I feel that it's quite a stretch to jump from a photoshop contest of a silly photo (that's probably photoshopped to begin with) to the level of racism and bigotry that you allude to. I also think to assume that any of these posts are coming from a place of true hatred or hostility is incorrect. I understand if you don't want to participate for whatever reason, and that's certainly your choice, but in my eyes there is nothing wrong with this thread or the content in it. I've said before that not all parts of our site are for everyone and maybe this topic isn't the right one for you, but I truly hope you'll stick around and have fun with us in other threads.

In regards to the forum rules, the personal attacks rule is specifically in regards to targeting other users. Obviously I don't want a community of people posting a picture of a stranger and saying "Hey, look at this fat dumb loser! Hahahaha!" but again, I really don't think that's what is happening here. The responses to your post were snarky and a little snide but I don't believe anyone crossed the line. I'll still be locking this comment thread so we can end this discussion here.

Unlocked this thread to make a quick point: If you use "SJW" to insult someone, you're probably one of the bad guys. Regardless of the views in this comment thread or anywhere else, SJW is not an insult.

@axleman1011

@axleman1011 she's brilliant; you're brilliant.

@axleman1011 It looks like Miley Cyrus is rubbing her buttcheeks on the head on an enormous Captain Picard. So pretty much like that recurring dream I keep having.

@Starblind To me looks like she's riding a giant scrotum 😂😂 yeah... Normal day for Miley..

@axleman1011 Nice Job :)

@JonT aww man you gave me this gif response months ago, I had it framed and everything, but now it feels less special when I see you give it to someone else too.

@tHumperchick Happy to help. However, I better be careful not to make @MrsPavlov jealous, so "shhhhhh".

@sn1zz OMG This was my favorite toy when I was a kid!

@sn1zz They're just fine!

@shahnm Absolute mad props for creativity. WELL DONE!

@thechinglish There's certainly a whole lot going on there . . . I'm actually a little frightened.

I still am really disturbed by the worm headed woman.

@mfladd More than a worman to me...

@ACraigL

@cercopithecoid We're all terminal . . .

@sn1zz Mad props for Krang and the Shredder!

@koalamoo =) ty

@sn1zz Feel free to post again and again - and do remember to vote for your favorites!

@Moose

@avicado

@carl669 I'm not seeing the downside.

@Pavlov no downside. i was just pointing it out.

@WTFhqwhgads I LOL'd.

@capnjb You have Photoshopped, wisely.

@Pavlov The more I look through these submissions, the more I'm convinced this one is now firmly in my top five favorites so far. I hope this gets the vote count it deserves. Holding the beer while running away . . . Impressive attention to detail. Good job!

@Pavlov That's the thing that might not be fair here... Earlier entries are bound to have more votes, just due to more exposure. But early bird gets the fuku and all that.

@capnjb That's pretty damn cool!

@Pavlov And it was attention to detail while my wife kept saying "What are you doing" "Come watch this show with me" I couldn't quite put into words how important my work was... maybe I'll frame this for some important anniversary :)

@ACraigL I'll figure something out ;)

@capnjb most certainly in my top 3 favorites.

@capnjb Thats great. I love how many harrison fords are in the running, someone needs to find a way to use blade runner next.

@Pavlov I love @Starblind's, but this does suffer as a late entry. Some sort of acknowledgement should be given to it. I think they are my top two. But I tend to lean toward the Photoshop entries just because I wish I had Photoshop skills.

@eyewerks I cleared out the replies here and edited your post to get rid of the noise and make sure I’m heard without any confusion.

The fact that you recently mentioned that you thought there was nothing wrong with a grossly misogynistic and sexist comment aimed at one of our staff members proves to me that your idea of necessary moderation is completely off base and not at all in line with the spirit of our community. Instead of publically shaming you or taking further action we gave you the benefit of the doubt and removed the post in the hopes that you would understand that you crossed the line and pull back, but so far it seems you’ve only pressed onward full steam ahead.

We do have clearly outlined rules: NO BULLSHIT, but they’re intentionally vague for a reason. You can’t plan for every possible scenario, and a good moderator can and will use common sense to make judgment calls based on context. I have no problem with people voicing differing opinions, but if you can’t see how and why your comments in this thread and elsewhere would be taken as intentionally inflammatory you need to recalibrate your thinking.

@JonT - I can't stop laughing. Thanks for the edit.

It was really really hard not to respond to that last post. Thank you so much @JonT for removing it, and with such a perfect response!

@BillLehecka You were a great goat! I (and I know many others) enjoyed the daily journal entries. Plus, you were truly responsible for Abe Vigoda!

@BillLehecka I still find myself rereading those posts on cold and lonely nights while sipping my hot cocoa and... OK, I'm lying but I did read them when you posted them. And I'm pretty sure you weren't the worse Goat. I mean with all The Goats we've had so far the odds are in your favor.

@BillLehecka Oh, and you gave me an excuse to post my 1070's picture of Abe Vigoda.

Crap. 1970's picture. I really have to start poofreading stuff.

@BillLehecka I don't think we've had a "bad" goat, yet. The people that are voted into goathood tend to be worthy of the badge and if they fuck it up... well... we know who to blame. ;)

@Mehrocco_Mole - I see what you didn't do there . . . ;-)

@dmlivezey ok, i give up, how do you post a photo?

@dmlivezey step 1. goto imgur.com, step 2. upload your pic, step 3. copy and paste the "Direct Link (email & IM)" into the post here.
Tinypic is a pain.

@thismyusername Thanks!

@ACraigL seriously, this is some epic shit.

@YahSah15 I starred it (both of them actually), entertainment at a price point I can manage

@YahSah15 You can unstar by clicking it again. I've definitely accidentally starred stuff and had to retract.

@darksaber99999 I like this!

@darksaber99999 We're gonna need a bigger boat.

@Starblind To hold the beer, right?

@Thumperchick Precisely. I believe Mr. Bruce McCall has designed an adequate conveyance.

@mfladd I have been going over all the entries again, and I still think this brillant!

@darksaber99999 Oops...see above post

@mfladd yes. all of that. do all of that; maybe with some fire breathing? idk. I might be getting too excited.

@connorbush Ha! I just wish I had photoshop skills. I love the entries.

@ACraigL Yeah, as a kid I always passed on this flavor.

@Kidsandliz Well, it's possible, but the oldest versions of this image online all seem to have the same face (it goes back at least to 2008!). If it's photoshopped they did a good job of it, avoiding the obvious mistake of matching the face skin tone to the body skin tone. I think there's a chance the beer bottle might be added in though, note how his left hand casts such a hard shadow but the bottle seems to cast no shadow at all. The specular highlight on the bottle should probably be bigger if this is lit mostly by flash as it seems to be. Interesting.

@MrsPavlov Our thoughts and prayers our with you and your family. Also, for anyone else injured in this incident. Take care of @Pavlov and the rest of your family. Please don't concern yourself with this site. We are wishing for nothing but the speedy recovery of everyone involved. Thank you for letting us all know.

@MrsPavlov I echo the above. I don't quite understand how you manged to take the time to write this with so much more important things on your plate. I sincerely hope it is a quick recovery and also hope that we can resume blaming @pavlov for something other than clearly being a hero. Wow.

@MrsPavlov Our thoughts, and well wishes for a speedy recovery are with you. I'm not sure how we can help - but if you think of something, we'd be happy to help in any way we can. I hope the mister is okay.

@MrsPavlov Sending healing wishes and prayers to you and your family.

@MrsPavlov Let him know we're thinking about him- I hope all goes well.

@MrsPavlov I agree with the above. and please Take care of yourself as well

@MrsPavlov please convey to @Pavlov our best wishes for a speedy and complete recovery, and may the zanyness in this forum raise his spirits.

@MrsPavlov - Wow, what a hero! Please just concentrate on getting him well. I'll be holding my breath until I hear he's recovering. Let us know if there's anything we can do to help.

@MrsPavlov I echo all of the sentiments posted above me. I will be keeping your family, and the other injured person, in my prayers. I hope Pavlov's recovery will be quicker than expected.

@MrsPavlov best wishes to the two of you, hoping for a speedy recovery

@MrsPavlov So sorry to hear this. Wishing for a speedy recovery for all injured. Regards.

@MrsPavlov I'm so sorry to hear this! Like everyone above has said, I will be praying for @Pavlov and you! I hope everything goes well!! I definitely think you shouldn't even worry about sending this out on Monday.. Once everyone is healed and home, you can think about following up on the contest if you want.. (Just my opinion)

@MrsPavlov So sorry to hear about this. Pavlov is a great guy, and you two have my best wishes for a speedy and full recovery. If there's something we can do, don't hesitate to let us know.

@MrsPavlov if there is anything at all you need that I could possibly help with, please just say the word. My thoughts are with you.

@MrsPavlov That has to be hard for both of you. I hope his recovery goes well and that you manage OK as well.

@MrsPavlov I'm so sorry to hear of this. From all that I've seen of his posts and comments, he seems like a genuinely great person. I will be thinking of the two of you and wishing him the very fastest recovery.

@MrsPavlov For the most part we wouldn't know each other from Adam if we were to meet. But this community strikes me as a family complete with bickering, oneupmanship, and being there when needed. Please let us know if you guys need something. I'm sure, in our limited way, someone in this family can come through for you.

@MrsPavlov Well hell. If I've got any karmic benefits coming to me, you guys can have it. And you're both in my thoughts.

@MrsPavlov Holy cow! Thanks for letting us know, and I hope for the best care and outcome for him!

@MrsPavlov Oh my god, we completely understand. Best Wishes.

@MrsPavlov So saddened to hear about this but also super proud of your husband for doing all that and trying to both take care of things and people. Best wishes to everyone involved.

@MrsPavlov @Pavlov so sorry to hear abour this. All of our prayers are for your speedy recovery.
We love you guys!

@MrsPavlov If you do end up in the northeast and need something, just yell -- we are in driving distance and always willing to help. God Bless and good health sent your way.

Aww, @Pavlov, this is terrible news. Hurry up and get well because... I'm missing you. @MrsPavlov, I wish there was something I could do, but just know that both of you are in my prayers.

Incredibly sorry to hear this @MrsPavlov. @Pavlov is a constant bright spot in my day and a huge part of this community. I wish him the speediest of recoveries and all of us at Mediocre are thinking of you both. Get well soon, friend.

@MrsPavlov Words can't express my concern & sorrow. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

@MrsPavlov what the fuck?! So sorry to hear this. Thoughts are with you guys and wishes for a speedy recovery.

@MrsPavlov You and @Pavlov continue to be in my prayers.

@MrsPavlov i just found this thread and pavlov is wonderful and i wish fast healing to him and you. hugs

@MrsPavlov Thoughts to you and your family. I saw your post about @Pavlov 's hospital hijinx. Very happy to hear he is recovering well and his sense of humor wasn't injured. Though his couth is, as always, questionable. As all said above, please let us know if you are in need of anything.

@ACraigL Yeah, I don't think people captioning now are even reading the thread at this point. @JonT Could you maybe change the thread title to say that it's closed, please?

@PurplePawprints @JonT Or lock it.