For all those who are Grumpy Princesses, here's my favorite

@Shrdlu

@Shrdlu - FYI - I found instructions for converting FB videos to post elsewhere - basically, just change the ‘www’ in the url to ‘m’.

@KDemo
@shrdlu

Crappy internet. Vid won’t play. Will try again later in diff location.

@f00l doll cakes have been a thing since forever. I love the last one. I think it’s much nicer than having the legs hidden inside the dress.

I wasn’t really into Barbie… So the cake would of been lost on me. According to cake videos I’ve watched on YouTube, lots of little girls love those doll cakes.

@RiotDemon

You just (inadvertently?) implied that i have been a “thing” since far longer than forever.

Altho I do recall Barbies when I was young. Just not baked Barbies with fancy icing. Which I find creepy not cute.

Perhaps I was just in with a bad crowd. All that brain damage.

You might be astute regarding “forever”. Or not. Not sayin’. Goats can live a long time.

And it’s only rock and roll, and I like it. So there. I forgive you.

@f00l I wish I had my mom’s old homemade fancy cake book. She used it in the 80s. I remember seeing a doll cake in that, or it was an old version of the Betty Crocker cookbook. She didn’t make that cake for us. She made my brother a train cake where all the cargo cars held candies. She made me a Batman cake… Not from that book though.

@RiotDemon

Mom made my younger brother a very complicated dinosaur cake once. She couldn’t find a recipe and just kinda worked it out with her friends. It stood up and everything.

All I ever wanted for cake as a kid was “fudge cake”. Yeah.

@f00l my mom spoiled us. Since we lived on an island, most stuff was homemade. My mom got very good at baking cakes. I love to bake as well. I just don’t do it that often because eating an entire cake by yourself isn’t healthy. What a shame.

@f00l here’s a vintage version of the cake. Not creepy at all.

@RiotDemon

Regarding your photo - it creeps me out a little. That doll looks like it may have been made to be baked into a cake. It bothers me less as an old cultural folk tradition than as an overdo-the-girlie life emphasis modern thing where kids are indulged in these fantasies to the max.

Guess you are right, these cakes are way older than I realized. That photo isn’t a Barbie, but it’s a doll cake photo from 1960 according to the Pinterest info I got from a google search.

I found references about small porcelain dolls being baked into cakes as far back as Victorian times, either as surprises to discover, or decoratively, as with the Barbie cakes.

I do not love these. They frankly creep me out. Never heard of them growing up.

I guess if I had care of a youngish kid whose heart was set on that sort of cake I might do it once, if I couldn’t get the child to desire something else. Emphasize once. I can just rmagine a competitive spiral of a group of kids each getting or wanting a more elaborate and fancy doll cake than the previous doll cake someone else got. Not a pretty picture, so to speak.

But I’d also be encouraging said kid to find a more broad set of interests based on achievement and mastery and action, and competence-confidence-challenge; and not based on fantasy princess-type settings and clothing, or focused on too many “pretty things”.

And I’d be very blunt - if age-appropriate - about what someone loses when they don’t seek to master their own fate and how much “fancy stuff” and a “belle-of-the-ball life-focus” can cost a person’s range of freedom.

No wonder I didn’t know anyone who liked this stuff. I barely knew anyone who was that much into Barbie.

Kinda hard for me to imagine you going for it when you were young. I envision you as asking for an electric guitar, bass, or drums; a horse; a motorcycle; a skateboard; a good sound system; a great computer; and power tools. And perhaps some martial arts lessons and good running shoes.

Wedding cakes with the bride and groom on top also creep my out a little. Just a little. If someone baked a cake, to me the point is to make the best tasting cake in history. Forget the crazy visual designs. Just make it awesome.

@f00l usually the dolls weren’t baked into the cakes, they are poked in afterwards. I think the mardi gras king cake has a little tiny baby doll cooked into it and whoever gets it… Well I don’t remember, good luck maybe.

Yeah, it’s not something I would of asked for, haha. My mom used to buy me a lot of dolls because she never really had any as a child. It was her way of reliving her childhood I guess. My favorite dolls were a horse and a unicorn. I remember the one was a pearl white with curly purple hair. I believe the other one had neon pink straight hair. I know I took photos of them before I finally gave them up. I kinda regret letting go of them. Oh well.

@f00l I did ask for an electric bass. Never learned how to play it. Still own it. I bought my own horse eventually. Computer, yep. Got our first one when I was 13 and I learned a lot about them. Now I’m kinda clueless, haha.

Skateboarding, no. I used to roller skate. Now I don’t dare because of lots of broken bones.

Still want a motorcycle… But I know people that have died because of them, so it’s on the back burner.

Tools, I buy my own. I feel sad for women that won’t ever touch tools.

Wedding cake… Mine had a flower as a topper. If I ever get married again, I’d want something cool like a dragon or something.

@RiotDemon

If I ever were to order a wedding cake, my specs to the baker would be: make it so good that it causes a riot. Don’t care what it looks like.

Then I’d try to make sure the booze, music, and food were even better.

Re my list of your youthful toy wishes: was thinking about when you were too young to count the cost and just thought motorcycles and similar were cool. We all mostly gotta grow up at some point.

@f00l I just thought about it, I used to ask for a go kart often. I still want one.

@f00l Had I known of such cakes when I was young and thought I’d ever get a cake beyond ‘slab of sweet dough’, hell yes I would have wanted one of these. I think I’d still go ape if someone got me a Barbie cake for my birthday now. Would definitely make me a less grumpy princess.

@brhfl

If someone gave me one and I had to act happy and serve it around in order to be gracious about the gift, I would.

If no one was watching, I’d either take it to where some friends and I could makes jokes as we ate it, or, or try to locate some pre-schoolers who wanted it.

Not my pref. To each their own I guess.

PS my Mom made these incredible multi-layered choc fudge cakes where the icing was actual fudge. Cooked to soft-ball stage. From one of my Gramdmother’s recipes.

My Grandmother did not use recipes. When my Mom asked for the recipe, my Grandmother had to make the cake, writing each step down along the way, in order to be able to tell Mom how to do it.

There are similar cake recipes in The Joy Of Cooking.

I had my reasons for my choices. Who cares what the cake looks like?

@f00l Don’t get me wrong, I’ll eat any and every cake. Your mother/grandmother’s cake sounds just perfect to me.

@brhfl

These are worth the time and trouble.

Google the Joy of Cooking fudge cake recipe and the separate fudge icing recipe from the same book if you wanna try it. They are very close to my Gramdmother’s recipe.

A Joy of Cooking published anytime since the 1970’s ought to be fine if you have a physical book.

You have to feel confident about handling the icing. If you don’t make much fudge, read the recipe thru a few times.

We always used a 9x13 glass pan, which means lower the oven temp 25F.

Don’t overcook the cake or it will be s little dry. Better to slightly undercook. Use toothpicks to test.

When you do the icing, be very careful and slow melting the bakers choc. A double boiler is good or be v patient and careful if you’re not using one. Low heat. Perhaps it’s ok in a microwave if you do a lot of pausing so it doesn’t overheat. Do not let the choc or butter get close to bubbling. Use as low a heat as possible to get them melted. It’s not designed for a microwave. Better to do on a stove.

Have all the ingredients measured and set aside before you start.

You will make the icing in a decent saucepan on a stovetop. Not in some fancy machine unless you know a lot more about cooking than I do.

Have an easy to read candy thermometer ready to hand and know how to use it. Follow the instructions on heating and cooling exactly. Do not run the heat higher than specified to speed things up. Slow and steady.

It pays to know how the stovetop you are using acts. A strange burner can get things offf course.

Once you start cooking the icing, be prepped to finish it. Unless someone hates nuts, use a ton of walnuts or pecans in the icing. More is good.

Once the icing is cooked it is ready to pour. Pour it slowly and immediately. Smooth out as you pour - it’s going to set no matter if you pour or not. It’s going to be unbelievably thick.
which means let the cake cool before you even start making the icing.

You will prob spread the icing with a spatula. If you use a knife it will set before you get it spread.

If you are comfortable making fudge you won’t have a prob w this cake and icing. It’s not that bad. Just a little nerve wracking the first time if you have no candy making practice. Just like making fudge would be.

Once you eat a cake like this you stop caring about normal cakes.

The same cookbook has a recipe called “Brownies Cockaigne”.

Follow the recipe exactly. except you can use lots more nuts if you want. Choose the pan size so that they will be moist and soft, not dry.

Once again go slow don’t overheat with the ingredients. Details details. . Cool the choc/butter down close to room temp before you go forward.

They come out nicy in a glass pan, but if you do that lower the oven heat 25F.

Don’t ice them. It’s overkill and it actually detracts - if you ice them, the icing will be in the way of the brownies. You won’t believe how good these are till you eat one.

Once you make them you will stop caring about other brownies.

Yeah really. Everyone who tasted these did. Friends Foes Family whatever.

@brhfl

Here are the cake and icing recipes, with one cook’s notes.

Devil’s Food Cake Cockaigne
from Joy of Cooking 1975 edition

Fudge Cockaigne Frosting
(also from Joy of Cooking)

These are not daunting if you scratch bake a good bit and handle candy making with confidence. If you don’t, or if it’s been years - it may be a challenge.

Now that I remember, my Gramdmother did the layers. Which was a lot of work. And getting the icing Judy right to do the layers and still be ok to pour over the outside.

My Mom didn’t wanna cook all day. She used the 9x13 pan. And just iced the top. I think she either doubled or tripled the icing recipe once she was comfortable making the cake.

No one ever complained about there being too much icing in the cake.
http://heart-of-light.blogspot.com/2008/08/cake.html?m=1

Brownies Cockaigne
from the cookbook:
The Joy of Cooking

The brownies are much easier. Spare yourself the cake and icing hassle, unless you really really want to try.

Make these brownies and become an instant addict.

If you have people in the house, esp teenagers or 20-somethings, these may be gone very very quickly. I’ve seen them vanish in less than 30 minutes.

http://freeingmymartha.blogspot.com/2010/03/my-favorite-brownies.html?m=1

Look! No Barbie needed! When these come out of the oven, no one will remember Barbie ever existed.

PS undercook a teeny bit. Just teeny. Then let them sit and cool when they come out. Don’t cut yet. Give them an hour.

This may mean locking everyone else out of the house or even using weapons to keep them safe from the stray fingers of persons who claim innocence.

Do not believe any claims of innocence. No one came to the kitchen to see if they could “help”. They came to the kitchen to see if they could “help themselves to these brownies”.

@brhfl

PS If you make the brownies

The tricky parts are the choc/butter mix and the pan size. And the Not Over-Baking part.

Heat the choc and butter in a double boiler or else heat slowly on low heat.
Do not overheat. Just enough to melt.

Then allow to cool down. Don’t put in freezer or fridge to cool. If you wish, set melting pan in a very shallow bowl of slightly cool water to help the choc/butter cool faster. (Not ice water).

If you cool them too much they re-harden SMS you have to slowly melt them again and then let them cool again.

Re baking pan, choose whatever size makes them come out more gooey less cakey. It tells in the recipe which is which. If you use glass pans, lower the oven temp 25F degrees.

After that it’s s piece of cake, so to speak. The brownies are not hard.

Add tons and tons of nuts if you like nuts in brownies. We liked walnuts and pecans.

You can add more vanilla if you like. Real vanilla is better, obviously.

You can add other flavorings.

Crushed peppermint can be good. I know people who put marshmallows or chocolate chips in them. All these were good.

Once you start making these brownies, the problem is to get yourself to not make them all the time.

@f00l

Oh yeah. Website and all.
http://www.grumpyprincessisgrumpy.com/