Go to Buzzfeed if you want to know how/what to do with this thing…it’s their product, and they’ve pushed it hard. Actually tried to buy it as a gift for sis one holiday, and it was overpriced and sold out. This price point seems about right to me.
@RedOx
I’m still contemplating being able to replace one’s mother with a plastic doll. Would it be considered gauche if it were done before a mother passed?
@2many2no@PlacidPenguin oh yeah, after WTFing for a few minutes, I scoured my Amazon browsing history. I’ve viewed other odd things in the past and you get on a ‘recommend weird shit’ amazon list. Found and purged a bunch of stuff I don’t recall viewing (probably from Reddit links)
@PlacidPenguinOthers!
We make nachos for the other people in our lives. The ones who say “I think I’ll go on a diet for a few days,” and drop 7 pounds without trying. Them. Those bastards. We make nachos for them, because we secretly hate them and their over-achieving metabolism.
@shahnm There are citrus juicers for which the cleaning process doesn’t exceed the value. Not electric ones. But yeah, any of the kind of juicer you can put greens in short of an industrial one making juice for hundreds of people all day long, the cleaning process alone exceeds the value of the juice.
I don’t have one of these, but I suspect standard grocery store cheese (Colby, mild cheddar, Monterey Jack, maybe low moisture part skim mozzarella) would work best for this.
I can’t seen it working with really old cheddar or Parmigiano-Reggiano, for example.
Attn meh research department, the following two reviews are why I bought it:
review a:
Well, it was a good idea. Hot cheese on demand? heck yes! Unfortunately it just doesn’t work well. It heats up about one squeeze worth of cheese and then you have to wait for 2 mins for more heat. As much as I wanted this to work it just doesn’t. This is not fat guy approved. Thanks for crushing my dreams of assembly line nachos. Dream killers.
This guy needs a battery pack and a few feet of plastic tubing going into my mouth so I can cheese anytime anywhere. If anybody asks I’ll tell them it’s vital medical equipment.
Even if this is convenient and dishwasher safe, I’m not sure it’s worth the likely difficulty of cleaning it. But that video was so adorable. Thanks for that.
The inevitable banana slicer and geriatric weirdness made me buy it. Stop it meh, that’s my money you need to put some back in my pocket to replace it, I mean really you can’t put something this stupid on dis her websut and not expeckd me to hit that tootin button.
Thick-middle-parent. I wonder if that means I had a threesome with Malcolm?
Also, as a side note I was wondering if I could litigate meh for taking over my brain and making me purchase the dumbest product in the foreseeable history and future of meh? I would like $50 million so after the 90% attorney fee I can live comfortably.
Loving cheese is normal. I love it in a way that… maybe isn’t so normal. I’m also the kind of person who loves playing with my food, loves absurdity for the sake of absurdity, and loves making food art (for GISHWHES or for no reason at all). I even tried to get this community to make food art with me when I was the goat. All of those nuts who left the 5-star reviews on Amazon… those are my people. I really can’t go on like nothing has changed after learning that this thing exists.
For $5 I might have bought it then regretted it in the morning. $15 is just too much for something I might use once, (maybe) and then let sit in a drawer for far too long before ultimately trying to hawk at a garage sale for a buck…
@ciabelle I’m actually kind of happy this was priced above my what the hell dollar amount. Otherwise I would probably buy one. No, I would certainly buy one.
Customer questions & answers
Question: Is this legal in California or Chicago? Or is its capacity reduced there?
Answer: It is but there’s a three day waiting period to purchase it, which includes an FDA background check. Automatic version sales are limited to Alaska and Texas.
By Max on November 3, 2017
The Fondoodler is not bound by the now-expired Federal Assault Weapons Ban of 1994 or any of the eight U.S. state restrictions on high-capacity magazines. If extra cheese cartridges are one day sold for the product, restrictions may be applicable. ALWAYS DOODLE RESPONSIBLY
By Fondoodler SELLER on May 4, 2017
I find that stuffing a delicate Gorgonzola into my marijuana dab rig and gently exciting the atoms into a synchronized swimming mosh pit of oozy goodness without the bruising of direct heat element contact is SO much better than extruding them like sickly cheese curd turds out of an electrified curling iron slash caulking gun; not to mention the satisfaction of sucking them through the rig bong water which not only removes any post factory impurities but also gives you the advantage of replacing the water with a crisp Chardonnay or rish Pinot Noir so the mouth feel is not only a rush of slippery hamster baby sized gooey cheese morsels but you also have the added benefit of a savory splash of vino to wash it down if you suck hard enough with the carb in place—like a fondu bukkake tidal wave of oolala du fantastíque! But I will consider buying a few of these solely for the thrill of injecting warm shots of parm into my canole. (Quick tip use in the shower with shavings of soap bars to create soft soap on tap of any variety directly on your skin it’s a real luxurious time saver)
I am far too lazy for DIY squeezy cheese. I think the kids would just end up having cheese wars with it and the cats would end up covered in cheese, the dog would be sick from licking it all up, and ugh, just no. Not in this cracker house.
@clonetek What happens when you microwave a can of easy cheese? I don’t even know what easy cheese is? Is this cheese that procreates hybrid food in the fridge while you back is turned and pretty soon your fridge is so full there is no room for real food?
@Kidsandliz It’s just http://lmgtfy.com/, and you can fill in whatever search term you want. They’ve branched out since the last time I looked at it, and you can pick from several search engines now.
It used to be snarkier (something like “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”) but you can add some snark by checking the “Include Internet Explainer” box.
Just bought one b/c I’m the one that has the White Elephant gift exchange at Christmas… and I love to give the gift that “keeps on giving”… meaning it will be re-gifted for years to come … now I just have to make sure my Hubby does not pick the gift (yes, he has done that several times over the years ). Thanks, Meh, for some of the good crapola you provide!!!
Specs
What’s in the Box?
1x Push Rod
1x Cleaner brush
1x Body
1x Canister
Pictures
Gun
Parts
Cheese
Castle
Nachos
Cracker
Big ol’ plate
Crackerbread house
Keep on stacking!
Super fun
OH SHIT
Price Comparison
$29.82 at Amazon
Warranty
90 day Mediocre
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Thursday, July 16th
Finally, something unique.
Set phasers to cheeze wiz.
Blasted unitasker!
So cheesy
/giphy hahahahahahaha
I never knew a thing like this existed.
/giphy Cheese Gun
@hems79
/youtube nighthawkinlight cheese gun
@hems79 I wish I still didn’t know such a thing exists.
@hems79 @OnionSoup I am delighted that I now know such a thing exists
Cheesy meh- but fun
Huh. So it’s a hot glue gun, but for cheese. I want this SO BAD. But probably will not buy it.
Wait, does this mean that I can put string cheese in a hot glue gun? Because I do have an extra hot glue gun.
@mossygreen
That honestly sounds interesting.
@PlacidPenguin Right?
@mossygreen
I’ll bring the string cheese.
@mossygreen @PlacidPenguin Loop me in for the results of this test.
@mossygreen @PlacidPenguin
/giphy hey mom watch this
This makes me inherently uncomfortable
Can I just use hot glue with this then? It’s so melty and keeps all items in the sandwich in place.
no
Too
sleezycheesy for me… Besides I own a knife, pot and cake decorating stuff. Should work just as well.Fondontler.
@tartanknickers Wouldn’t that extrude sheets of pliable icing?
This name sounds what Ned Flanders would use to describe a predator.
@vinuash Or describe his private parts.
Nah, that would be his FUNdoodler.
@vinuash That is exactly what I came here to say.
Proof that guns do kill people!
Go to Buzzfeed if you want to know how/what to do with this thing…it’s their product, and they’ve pushed it hard. Actually tried to buy it as a gift for sis one holiday, and it was overpriced and sold out. This price point seems about right to me.
“Customers also viewed”
https://www.amazon.com/Nursing-Skills-Geriatric-Training-Manikin/dp/B005H5TSWY
WTF?
Edit: And clothing for hens? What kind of weird fuck doodles his cheese, plays with naked geriatric dolls and dressed up their chicken?
@RedOx
From there, I noticed that customers also viewed a chicken leash.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01C4TF5XQ/ref=pd_aw_sim_sbs_328_3/146-4541479-0135012?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=8N53ZT4XK9FY31XH298B&dpPl=1&dpID=51jLCPxuc3L
@PlacidPenguin
What the actual fuck?
https://www.amazon.com/David-Trunks-French-Statue-Shorts/dp/B0727MWW9Z/ (NSFW)
https://www.amazon.com/BlackSunnyDay-Latex-Rubber-Zentai-Catsuit/dp/B00HUMFLE6
@daveinwarsh
How many chicken leashes do you own?
@RedOx LOL! I would have beaten you to this post, but I spent more than 10 minutes on laughter after seeing the list.
Not sure I want to meet the portable molten cheese eating, beast leg wearing, geriatric dummy owning population that buys these things.
@RedOx haha
@RedOx
OMG the reviews. LOL.
**** so far so good.
ByMorkon July 12, 2016
My mother passed away 2 years ago due to cancer. I bought this Basic Geri Nursing doll as a type of emotional replacement, so far so good.
@RedOx Oh god… I saw “nursing skills” and thought it had something to do with breastfeeding. Hmm… after looking at the doll, maybe I was right?
@RedOx
I’m still contemplating being able to replace one’s mother with a plastic doll. Would it be considered gauche if it were done before a mother passed?
@PlacidPenguin @RedOx Thanks, guys!
You have once again forced me to edit my browsing history.
@2many2no @PlacidPenguin oh yeah, after WTFing for a few minutes, I scoured my Amazon browsing history. I’ve viewed other odd things in the past and you get on a ‘recommend weird shit’ amazon list. Found and purged a bunch of stuff I don’t recall viewing (probably from Reddit links)
@PlacidPenguin None (yet…)
Our hens are happy in their enclosed pen & Wooster doesn’t wander much at all.
@2many2no @RedOx
I opened them in incognito mode, so…
@RedOx Without the proper leash you might end up choking your chicken
@RedOx Now that I’ve seen those weird Amazon items, it’s going to screw up my “Just for you” advertising. I hope I never see those shorts again.
@RedOx I keep clicking through the “also viewed” section and cry-laughing. Amazon is a truly disturbing place sometimes…
This product is a perfect example of why terrorists hate us.
@Raptor_007 They hate us cuz they ain’t us. They be all mad jelly they don’t have such amazing consumer goods.
@Raptor_007 And very nearly an example of why I hate us!
Because who doesn’t love making nachos one at a time
@Ignorant
I don’t eat nachos, so the answer to your question would be me…
@PlacidPenguin you can love making something but not eating it.
@Ignorant
But…
Why would I make nachos if the final result serves no purpose?
@PlacidPenguin for your hungry guests
@Ignorant
Well there you go.
I don’t host.
@PlacidPenguin Others!
We make nachos for the other people in our lives. The ones who say “I think I’ll go on a diet for a few days,” and drop 7 pounds without trying. Them. Those bastards. We make nachos for them, because we secretly hate them and their over-achieving metabolism.
@LaVikinga
What about for people like me who can eat as much as they want, but don’t get full or gain weight?
@LaVikinga
And on that note…
@PlacidPenguin
No, don’t really hate you, but dang, Why our bodeez gots to be so triflin’?
@LaVikinga
So what you’re really saying is that if I come over, you’ll make nachos for me?
@PlacidPenguin Yup. We call them “Guapo Nachos.” Name makes no sense, but they’re loaded & delicious. And I won’t use a cheese gun either.
…and another day of waiting for something I want/need!
So I have to cut up real cheese into shredded cheese to then melt it into cheese wiz to make this ass-hat thing work?
God said let there be microwaves, and it was so. - John 5618
That’s what they said in church today
It’s the cleaning after use that stops me. This would be a once-for-the-novelty-and-done-because-not-worth-the-effort kinda gizmo for me…
@shahnm Like a juicer! Any juicer!
@shahnm There are citrus juicers for which the cleaning process doesn’t exceed the value. Not electric ones. But yeah, any of the kind of juicer you can put greens in short of an industrial one making juice for hundreds of people all day long, the cleaning process alone exceeds the value of the juice.
@shahnm Just buy a bunch of them, then you can throw them away after each use.
OK…who cut the cheese?
it’s a 3D printer gun that makes edible constructs?
this adds another level to geek foreplay.
@alacrity Oh. So with a bit of work one could make a 3D printer with this. (Ignoring the foreplay statement.)
@alacrity It’s really more of a 2D printer, but:
http://www.pancakebot.com/
How hot is the cheese upon application? As a totally random for instance, would it cause permanent damage to one’s bare nipple?
@medz I’d stick with whipped cream. Noone wants to lick a cheesy nipple.
@OnionSoup
/giphy cheesy nipple
I don’t have one of these, but I suspect standard grocery store cheese (Colby, mild cheddar, Monterey Jack, maybe low moisture part skim mozzarella) would work best for this.
I can’t seen it working with really old cheddar or Parmigiano-Reggiano, for example.
Really old cheddar melts quite well, actually.
This is one of those things that you never need or use, but you really want it just so you can say you have one.
@hchavers Something a normal person would never need or use. I would use the crap out of this thing.
@christinewas @hchavers Normal is overrated.
Seems like the perfect gift to give someone who has everything. Well, everything except this.
Attn meh research department, the following two reviews are why I bought it:
review a:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/RKLXDPMRZOL4Q
review b:
˙ʇɐɥʇ op uǝʌǝ oʇ ɥɔnɯ ooʇ 05˙Ɫ$ pǝɔıɹd sı sıɥʇ ǝɹns ʎʇʇǝɹd ɯɐ I ɥƃnoɥʇʃɐ dɯʌ ʎɯ ʎɟıʇsnɾ oʇ puɐ ɥo
I think this time in history will be known as:
The Fall of Western Civilization
All thanks to the Fondoodler. It was the tipping point.
@mbimeh We’re living in the Dawn of Idiocracy era right now. What a time to be alive!
@mbimeh @uwacn Thanks for reminding me. I’m almost out of Brawndo.
This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever seen for sale here.
Of course I bought two.
This guy needs a battery pack and a few feet of plastic tubing going into my mouth so I can cheese anytime anywhere. If anybody asks I’ll tell them it’s vital medical equipment.
@awk
I think I know this one…it’s a vape pen for cheese
Even if this is convenient and dishwasher safe, I’m not sure it’s worth the likely difficulty of cleaning it. But that video was so adorable. Thanks for that.
So, there is this family member who always gets everyone goofy gifts. I think I found my goofy gift for everyone.
/buy -q 3
@sykl0ps It worked! Your order number is: unknowing-vintage-heart
/image unknowing vintage heart
What the Fondoodler?!
The inevitable banana slicer and geriatric weirdness made me buy it. Stop it meh, that’s my money you need to put some back in my pocket to replace it, I mean really you can’t put something this stupid on dis her websut and not expeckd me to hit that tootin button.
Thick-middle-parent. I wonder if that means I had a threesome with Malcolm?
Also, as a side note I was wondering if I could litigate meh for taking over my brain and making me purchase the dumbest product in the foreseeable history and future of meh? I would like $50 million so after the 90% attorney fee I can live comfortably.
Loving cheese is normal. I love it in a way that… maybe isn’t so normal. I’m also the kind of person who loves playing with my food, loves absurdity for the sake of absurdity, and loves making food art (for GISHWHES or for no reason at all). I even tried to get this community to make food art with me when I was the goat. All of those nuts who left the 5-star reviews on Amazon… those are my people. I really can’t go on like nothing has changed after learning that this thing exists.
Unfortunately, I can’t spend money right now.
Whyyyyyy?
For $5 I might have bought it then regretted it in the morning. $15 is just too much for something I might use once, (maybe) and then let sit in a drawer for far too long before ultimately trying to hawk at a garage sale for a buck…
@ciabelle I’m actually kind of happy this was priced above my what the hell dollar amount. Otherwise I would probably buy one. No, I would certainly buy one.
@sammydog01 I know you could do amazing things with a Fondoodler. Loosely related… did you hear that GISHWHES isn’t really ending?
Fondecade.
This is EXACTLY what Satan would want us wasting our time with…a cheese fondler.
Perfect gift for that neighbor who is a part-time food demonstrator at Sam’s Club.
If I alternate chocolate and marshmallow can I make a smores dispenser?
Edit: Never mind didn’t read the specs.
@2many2no I want to meet Fondoodler SELLER. They sound fun.
Oh boy, a caulking gun for cheese. Makes your tile floors just delicious, when you find yourself face down on them.
I both love and hate the Fondoodler, as the Fondoodler both loves and hates itself.
I find that stuffing a delicate Gorgonzola into my marijuana dab rig and gently exciting the atoms into a synchronized swimming mosh pit of oozy goodness without the bruising of direct heat element contact is SO much better than extruding them like sickly cheese curd turds out of an electrified curling iron slash caulking gun; not to mention the satisfaction of sucking them through the rig bong water which not only removes any post factory impurities but also gives you the advantage of replacing the water with a crisp Chardonnay or rish Pinot Noir so the mouth feel is not only a rush of slippery hamster baby sized gooey cheese morsels but you also have the added benefit of a savory splash of vino to wash it down if you suck hard enough with the carb in place—like a fondu bukkake tidal wave of oolala du fantastíque! But I will consider buying a few of these solely for the thrill of injecting warm shots of parm into my canole. (Quick tip use in the shower with shavings of soap bars to create soft soap on tap of any variety directly on your skin it’s a real luxurious time saver)
@ignoramus
/giphy not sure
I am far too lazy for DIY squeezy cheese. I think the kids would just end up having cheese wars with it and the cats would end up covered in cheese, the dog would be sick from licking it all up, and ugh, just no. Not in this cracker house.
@melwin I’m not seeing the downside. Please take video.
@blaineg It does sound a little more than mildly amusing, doesn’t it?
/giphy squeezy cheese
I don’t understand why this exists…
Someone, please tell me why this exists.
@charlielitton
@charlielitton @Ignorant Because some people will back the craziest crap that comes along on Kickstarter?
@Ignorant Oh my God. I hope that’s cheese.
@Ignorant @melwin Hmmm…I might have an idea: A marinara pressure washer. Where’s my patent!
@Ignorant No. That is what you are you supposed to do with whipped cream - not cheese.
@Kidsandliz anything whipped cream can do, cheese can do better.
@Ignorant
I beg to differ…
/image hot fudge sunday whipped cream
@Kidsandliz cheese can do anything better than cream.
@Ignorant
/image nope nope nope
@Ignorant now why the heck did I get a giphy when I did “image”? Too weird. And what would also be weird is hot fudge cheese. Yuck!
@Kidsandliz because gif is an image format, some of them happen to be animated. That gif isn’t hosted on the Giphy site.
@Kidsandliz yes it can
/giphy broad-mushy-toddy
I’m sure I don’t need this, why do you ask?
What would I have to do to the gummy bears to hack this wicked device for gummy goo?
Found this video review where they tried it with chocolate and marshmallows too if anyone is curious: https://geekslife.com/fondoodler/
Been a long time since I’ve seen the word “splorch”.
@whogots 10. Does this cheese come out of the doodler warm/hot?
11. How long until someone ends up in the E.R. because it got “stuck” somewhere?
@whogots 12. I can’t believe I just said “doodler.”
@melwin
Re: #10, my #7 is probably that dumb.
@melwin I meant #11.
@whogots It wouldn’t be a unitasker anymore in that case. Maybe your friend doesn’t need this.
cheesegun. a new low–nice.
and if cheeseguns are outlawed then…
The last time I saw something this charmingly stupid was the cordless screwdriver corkscrew.
@rtjhnstn Shut up. I got two.
In case one breaks.
Finally MEH is back in the ballgame.
I feel like the poll missed an opportunity by not going with “The Grate-est Generation” instead
I’m thinking that this was invented after a stoner was injured because they microwaved a can of easy cheese.
@clonetek What happens when you microwave a can of easy cheese? I don’t even know what easy cheese is? Is this cheese that procreates hybrid food in the fridge while you back is turned and pretty soon your fridge is so full there is no room for real food?
@Kidsandliz
@clonetek LOL. So why can’t you microwave easy cheese in a glass bowl to get the same end as this weird thing they are selling?
@Kidsandliz http://lmgtfy.com/?q=how+to+explain+humor
@clonetek I’d make a link to how to be a PITA on purpose except I don’t know how to do the trick that link went to LOL
@Kidsandliz It’s just http://lmgtfy.com/, and you can fill in whatever search term you want. They’ve branched out since the last time I looked at it, and you can pick from several search engines now.
It used to be snarkier (something like “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?”) but you can add some snark by checking the “Include Internet Explainer” box.
@blaineg Thanks.
Just bought one b/c I’m the one that has the White Elephant gift exchange at Christmas… and I love to give the gift that “keeps on giving”… meaning it will be re-gifted for years to come
… now I just have to make sure my Hubby does not pick the gift (yes, he has done that several times over the years 
). Thanks, Meh, for some of the good crapola you provide!!!
/giphy oh no my house is falling apart
Five weeks too late.
I bought it earlier today. Instantly regretted it.
Truly fantastic write up today.
Got to the party very late today…
Sweet Baby Jesus, this is brilliant!!
oh and I may have missed it but I will ask…
Does the work with Frumunda Cheese??
Cheese Jizz!
/giphy huzzah!
@mike808
/giphy Andrew W.K. Party
This going to cost me. Because I bought this, the other is going to buy something 10 times as stupid and costly.