@elimanningface Dragontrainer is Sammydog Jr. She’s not on the forums (her choice, not mine). But I will pass on any recommendations you have or you can contact her through ESPN. She definitely needs a tight end.
@sammydog01 She may need more than that, lol. I’m not inferring anything but was she one of the auto draft teams? I’m trying to understand the drafting of a suspended player (or maybe Snead wasn’t suspended at the time of the draft) and no backup QB.
@elimanningface She auto drafted. Me too. I also have one suspended player and had to pick up a backup quarterback. This is her second year so she’s still learning. I’m here for the smack talk. We both belong in a beginner league but it didn’t happen that way this year.
@sammydog01 you guys will be fine!
Sorry for all the somewhat neutral/positive comments. I believe there is an indirect ratio between the amount of smack talk spoken vs. team success. This is why any team with Josh Norman will not win a Super Bowl.
@sammydog01 TEMPER EXPECTATIONS! They were playing against the 49ers… All stats from last night’s game are moot. Against any half-way-decent team, they’d all muddle like they’ve been doing (except Hyde and Gurley, who are the only real bright spots in their offenses).
@elimanningface We could use a roll call. Anyone want to claim a team that has a name other than your username? Mine is obvious. Dragon trainer is my daughter. Shrek is my son who goes by @spcial_snwflake.
@sammydog01 your idea raises a concern about a potential conflict of interest. What if a questionable trade occurs between team Sammy, Shrek, and/or Dragon Trainer?
On a more cynical note, wouldn’t it be kind of neat to be the team that beats your entire family? By cynical, I meant obnoxious.
Wow, where have I been? In a hole, depressed about losing the first two weeks of the league. I almost caught you last week, @Sammydog01. Doing the happy dance today, though!
@brendles Way to go Wombat girl! We were both pretty bad last week but I was less bad by a point and a half. This week I lose unless my kicker gets 29 points. That can happen, right?
@brendles My old kicker wasn’t even rated on the ESPN list. But my new kicker got a point and only missed the one field goal he tried. So that’s almost as good, right?
Dear Deshaun Watson and Lamar Miller- you guys are the best bench players ever! Deshaun- I totally believed in you, just not enough to put you in for Philip Rivers. If you two keep it up I may put you on my active roster- it will probably be the week you both tank.
@metaphore We are bad at shit talk. Hey, you won but still suck. Is that better? (And I hope you find a decent quarterback for the next couple of weeks- you might want to ask @emilyap if you can borrow one.) (And congratulations!)
@connorbush Tell your office guy “Gee, that was unexpected. Congrats!” for me. And he should have a new thingy for his car on Thursday if the post office doesn’t crush it.
@elimanningface Snowflake had some players on bye so he decided to throw the week rather than replace them. I know he was just looking for an excuse for losing to his mother.
Next week I take on Dragontrainer. It’s looking ugly.
@sammydog01 it’s good that you are getting the beating of your children out of the way before Thanksgiving.
I could have probably phrased that better but…meh?
@elimanningface I’ve been trying to teach my daughter that if a man isn’t giving her what she needs she should replace him. Even if he’s as adorable as Greg Olsen. She doesn’t listen.
@elimanningface You edged out the Oranges by five points for third place. Guess who took second? Bwahahaha! See you on the gridiron for the next two weeks.
Funny playoff story- I made the playoffs last year. I had Ezekiel Elliott, Dez Bryant, and Roethlisburger. They were all benched when the Steelers and Cowboys locked in home field advantage.
@elimanningface The Bills were my home team growing up. The Chargers were my home team in school. The Redskins are my home team now. I like the way the Steelers dance. I root for all of them.
I just have a bunch of Eagles on my fantasy team this year.
@elimanningface They’re the team I root for and I’m really discouraged. Praying for decent MRI results. I just don’t have that much faith in Nick Foles.
@elimanningface He doesn’t want mine after 20+ years of skiing. And I need what I have left as I’m headed to Austria in about 6 weeks. But I could find him a nice cadaver to use!
@elimanningface I would have given up all of Dion Lewises points to see Tom Brady’s face at the end of that game. I hope I can find a video. (PS The Patriots were my home team when I went to that other school but I will never root for them.)
@sammydog01 started off my day trying to figure out how did you gain an additional 20 points on me when it was just down to the two NE RBs? Then I see it. Jarvis freakin’ Landry. Ughhhh!!!
Your fandom is just way too all over the map to keep up. As a Jets fan, its nice to read you weren’t ever a Patriots fan but as a fantasy football player who is currently being pummeled by you, I’m pretty apathetic about trying to understand it at the moment.
I wore my Dolphins hat on Saturday. Someone asked me if I was a Dolphin fan. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Lids had NFL hats 2 for ten bucks last year and only the crap teams were left, so I said “kind of”. My Miami player scored his season high fantasy points yesterday.
Congrats to @sammydog01. If the other thread is any indication, she is in a bit of a funk. Hopefully beating a superior GM this weekend to earn a spot in the Meh Fantasy Football championship will help lighten her mood. One would think that should be the responsibility of her kids and partner however, I think we would all agree, we live in a time when it isn’t safe to assume anything. Congrats @sammydog01! You know how to pick’em!!
@elimanningface Thanks for your concern over my holiday first world problem temper tantrum. My family members have learned to back away slowly without making eye contact until the shrieking stops.
And thanks for congratulating me. It makes it impossible to give you shit about losing. Well played.
Now I just need to beat Team Meh who dominated the season with Antonio Brown. Wait, you say Antonio is injured? That’s really too bad- I love that guy. I’m sure @woodhouse handcuffed Juju Smith-Schuster just in case.
/giphy evil laugh
@sammydog01 I’m not taking anything away from your win or ability but who could have predicted (and started) Jarvis Landry having his best weeks maybe ever and Robbie Gould putting up QB1 type numbers? And now Brown is out just as MVP talk for him was ratcheting up. Some people just have all the luck…except when it comes to baking cookies
…and fruit bars
…and remembering friends’ children
…and making reasonable holiday postal deadlines.
@elimanningface True, luck is a huge player in this thing. But don’t dis my man Jarvis- they said he is the last player in the league with at least 5 receptions in every game. His lowest score was 8 points when Cutler was out, his average is 16, and he had three games over 20 points in the first half of the season. I love you Jarvis.
My number one draft pick, OBJ, went out for the season after game 5. My rookie quarterback, Deshaun Watson (who I picked up in September) went out for the season in game 8. I miss you Deshaun. That also took the value of Will Fuller (averaging about 20 points per game) out of the picture too.
Robbie Gould, my last minute addition? Total luck. I love kickers- their scores are so random. And yeah, I have made 34 transactions and yet almost every guy I play was chosen by a computer on draft day. Thanks, computer. I love you too.
@elimanningface Did you see Purple People Beaters has a score of 193 for the week and Julio Jones hasn’t played? Yikes. I don’t know who that guy is but he got screwed being in the loser’s bracket.
@sammydog01 no, I was too busy losing to pay attention to the other teams. By the way, still no update from the other league about how anyone is doing.
For those asking how it’s going in the other league, here you go:
I am attempting to carry over my championship from the expert league last season over to the Meh 2 league this season… we shall see how it goes (I’m the Texas Carnivores).
@brendles I’m coming for you this week wombat girl!
@emilyap Blake Bortles is still available if you want to complete your basketball team of quarterbacks.
@sammydog01 Good idea!
Team Meh is off to a solid start!
@woodhouse A for performance, C- for smack talk. Step it up, dude.
Yeah, get into the leagues of Denny Green (God rest his soul), or Jim Mora, or Herm Edwards. YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME! CROWN THEIR ASSES!
@sammydog01 I’m not much of a smack-talker
@woodhouse What do you think this is about, football?
/giphy pfft
@sammydog01 lol, kind of an ironic statement after the “smack talk” you posted above. Basketball team of quarterbacks. Hardy har har har.
@elimanningface Hmmm, better than @woodhouse but still sub-par. Solid B. Lucky for you I grade on a curve.
/giphy trashtalk
@elimanningface I wish I could read lips.
@sammydog01 +1. I may not have used the giphy tag right.
@elimanningface
/giphy trash talk
/giphy fantasy football trash talk
@brendles You took the Raiders DST? I was gonna take the Raiders DST. I hope the Jets score 50 points.
@sammydog01 Raiders turned out to be a decent pickup. The Eagles was a good one too for about 45 minutes.
Team Dragontrainer - I think you may need to make a couple of trades. Don’t get exploited!
@elimanningface Dragontrainer is Sammydog Jr. She’s not on the forums (her choice, not mine). But I will pass on any recommendations you have or you can contact her through ESPN. She definitely needs a tight end.
@sammydog01 She may need more than that, lol. I’m not inferring anything but was she one of the auto draft teams? I’m trying to understand the drafting of a suspended player (or maybe Snead wasn’t suspended at the time of the draft) and no backup QB.
@elimanningface She auto drafted. Me too. I also have one suspended player and had to pick up a backup quarterback. This is her second year so she’s still learning. I’m here for the smack talk. We both belong in a beginner league but it didn’t happen that way this year.
@sammydog01 you guys will be fine!
Sorry for all the somewhat neutral/positive comments. I believe there is an indirect ratio between the amount of smack talk spoken vs. team success. This is why any team with Josh Norman will not win a Super Bowl.
Sammy Watkins scored 28.6 points! I’m so proud of you Sammy! Maybe I’ll take you off the bench next week (if your concussion is better).
@sammydog01 TEMPER EXPECTATIONS! They were playing against the 49ers… All stats from last night’s game are moot. Against any half-way-decent team, they’d all muddle like they’ve been doing (except Hyde and Gurley, who are the only real bright spots in their offenses).
@capguncowboy I said maybe.
@sammydog01 I’ll be honest. I checked to see if he was still available in my league after last night’s game. Some dick picked him up on Wednesday
@capguncowboy I auto drafted him the last two years. Fingers crossed this year will be better.
Meh Jets, shame you benched the better QB, RB, WR and likely TE this week. Damn shame!
@elimanningface We could use a roll call. Anyone want to claim a team that has a name other than your username? Mine is obvious. Dragon trainer is my daughter. Shrek is my son who goes by @spcial_snwflake.
@sammydog01 your idea raises a concern about a potential conflict of interest. What if a questionable trade occurs between team Sammy, Shrek, and/or Dragon Trainer?
On a more cynical note, wouldn’t it be kind of neat to be the team that beats your entire family? By cynical, I meant obnoxious.
@elimanningface You think we would help each other? That’s so cute.
Wow, where have I been? In a hole, depressed about losing the first two weeks of the league. I almost caught you last week, @Sammydog01. Doing the happy dance today, though!
@brendles Way to go Wombat girl! We were both pretty bad last week but I was less bad by a point and a half. This week I lose unless my kicker gets 29 points. That can happen, right?
@sammydog01 Miracles CAN happen.
@brendles The kicker I just cut scored 19 this week…
/giphy football miracle
@sammydog01 Noooooooooooo!
@brendles My old kicker wasn’t even rated on the ESPN list. But my new kicker got a point and only missed the one field goal he tried. So that’s almost as good, right?
@sammydog01 Both our players last night sucked. My RB got me .3 pts, lol. Better luck this week!
@brendles
/giphy fist bump
Dear Deshaun Watson and Lamar Miller- you guys are the best bench players ever! Deshaun- I totally believed in you, just not enough to put you in for Philip Rivers. If you two keep it up I may put you on my active roster- it will probably be the week you both tank.
@sammydog01 After cursing the raiders by playing too many of them, I might still pull it off this week. You really should have been the winner though.
@metaphore I did that with the Dolphins who went scoreless. Oops. I hope Carr is OK- I like the Raiders- they have spirit. Good luck tomorrow.
@sammydog01 Thanks. Right now, it doesn’t look like it’s too bad for Carr, hopefully that is the case.
We are really bad at shit talking.
@metaphore We are bad at shit talk. Hey, you won but still suck. Is that better? (And I hope you find a decent quarterback for the next couple of weeks- you might want to ask @emilyap if you can borrow one.) (And congratulations!)
@emilyap Our benches deserve a high five.
/giphy high five
(You’re putting in some players that are actually playing by Sunday, right? It’s more fun that way.)
@sammydog01 Whoops.
@emilyap I’ll try to remember to ping you next Thursday.
@sammydog01 Thanks, I usually remember but I was on vacation this week and lost track of days.
@emilyap Thursday! You probably knew that.
@sammydog01 I’m as ready as I can be. Looks bad, as usual.
Look what I found while decluttering-
Any Giants fans out there? I’ll ship it for free but you have to promise to proudly put it on your car.
@sammydog01 Me please!!!
@connorbush I’ll pull it out of the Goodwill pile (I didn’t think I would get a taker). Email me your address at Sammydog001 at gmail.
@sammydog01 a guy in our office is a transplant and huge fan. Thanks!
@connorbush Tell your office guy “Gee, that was unexpected. Congrats!” for me. And he should have a new thingy for his car on Thursday if the post office doesn’t crush it.
I am failing miserable. That is all.
@connorbush I hope you’re doing better than the Giants.
@brendles Go ahead, take Matt Ryan. I didn’t really want him anyway. Philip rivers is gonna wipe the floor with him.
/giphy wipe the floor
@sammydog01 Yep, just like that.
@sammydog01 - I’m rooting for the Eagles just as much as you will be tomorrow night!
@elimanningface I love my Eagles. They are the only players I can count on. I should have kept Carson Wentz when I had him.
@sammydog01 you’re in second place, calm down.
@sammydog01 you beat Shrek 5 this week. It must be icy cold in the homestead!
@elimanningface Snowflake had some players on bye so he decided to throw the week rather than replace them. I know he was just looking for an excuse for losing to his mother.
Next week I take on Dragontrainer. It’s looking ugly.
@sammydog01 it’s good that you are getting the beating of your children out of the way before Thanksgiving.
I could have probably phrased that better but…meh?
@elimanningface I’ve been trying to teach my daughter that if a man isn’t giving her what she needs she should replace him. Even if he’s as adorable as Greg Olsen. She doesn’t listen.
@elimanningface Fuck. And no thank you. Winning was nice while it lasted…
@emilyap Snowflake forgot it was Thursday. Good luck!
@elimanningface If I had to be edged out by one of my kids I’m just glad it was the one who doesn’t gloat.
I thought I did pretty well considering the shitstorm last week with Watson, Ertz, Ajayi, Fuller, and Miller.
And Doug Martin didn’t punch anyone, so that’s a plus.
@elimanningface Looks like you’re the team to beat. I get my Eagles back next week. We’ll see.
@sammydog01 understated modesty is the trashiest of trash talk.
@elimanningface
/giphy i’m trashy
@sammydog01 you know what made last week’s loss worse? It was heavily aided by the team you root for. Ugh!!!
@elimanningface The Bills? Did they suck too badly?
My son offered me a dollar to not tell my daughter to pick up Roethlisberger. Then he forgot to put in a request. So it seems you owe me a dollar.
@sammydog01 Colin Kaepernick does not approve of such actions.
@sammydog01 I just wanted to say thank you again for the assist this week. I couldn’t have done it without you!
/giphy high five!
@elimanningface I’m still waiting for my dollar.
I am going to punch a fucking wall if all four playoff teams are from one division. Literally, I am going to punch a wall!!
@elimanningface Save your knuckles- The tiebreaker is points for and you’re set.
@sammydog01 as is the tradition in the United States, as long as I am taken care of, it’s all good. Thank you, @sammydog01!!
@elimanningface You edged out the Oranges by five points for third place. Guess who took second? Bwahahaha! See you on the gridiron for the next two weeks.
Funny playoff story- I made the playoffs last year. I had Ezekiel Elliott, Dez Bryant, and Roethlisburger. They were all benched when the Steelers and Cowboys locked in home field advantage.
Well it was funny to someone.
@sammydog01 - I just want you to know, I hope you lose this week…and next!
/image good luck!
@elimanningface How’s that working out for you?
@elimanningface And the battle of the Patriot running backs commences.
@sammydog01 wow. You need this more than I do. Hang in there kiddo! We’re rooting for Carson and you…mostly Carson though.
@elimanningface That just means they’re going to hand every ball off to Ajayi. Got it covered. I do feel bad for Wentz- hope he’s OK.
@sammydog01 how are you not more upset?! Aren’t the Eagles the real life team you root for?
@elimanningface The Bills were my home team growing up. The Chargers were my home team in school. The Redskins are my home team now. I like the way the Steelers dance. I root for all of them.
I just have a bunch of Eagles on my fantasy team this year.
@elimanningface They’re the team I root for and I’m really discouraged. Praying for decent MRI results. I just don’t have that much faith in Nick Foles.
@cinoclav Foles looked pretty not terrible yesterday. It may be OK.
@cinoclav
@sammydog01 He’ll be okay as a backup but he simply can’t do what Wentz can.
@elimanningface Yeah, saw it.
Kind of weird talking about him at the moment as I work about 10 minutes from his house. Here’s where he lives if you want to check it out: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/125-Commissioners-Pike-Woodstown-NJ-08098/2134270498_zpid/
@cinoclav you seem to be distraught. Since you are nearby, if necessary, would you be willing to donate an ACL to him?
@elimanningface He doesn’t want mine after 20+ years of skiing. And I need what I have left as I’m headed to Austria in about 6 weeks. But I could find him a nice cadaver to use!
@elimanningface I would have given up all of Dion Lewises points to see Tom Brady’s face at the end of that game. I hope I can find a video. (PS The Patriots were my home team when I went to that other school but I will never root for them.)
@sammydog01 started off my day trying to figure out how did you gain an additional 20 points on me when it was just down to the two NE RBs? Then I see it. Jarvis freakin’ Landry. Ughhhh!!!
Your fandom is just way too all over the map to keep up. As a Jets fan, its nice to read you weren’t ever a Patriots fan but as a fantasy football player who is currently being pummeled by you, I’m pretty apathetic about trying to understand it at the moment.
@elimanningface Simple, I’m a fan of football! (Except for Tom Brady).
/giphy football fan
/image depression
not my season.
/giphy laugh cry
@connorbush You’re in the other league, right? Who’s in the playoffs over there? (I assume it’s not you.)
@sammydog01 @connorbush - yes, details! Was there a separate thread for each league?
@elimanningface Those losers never even started a smack thread. What’s the point of playing without a smack thread?
/giphy pfffft
I wore my Dolphins hat on Saturday. Someone asked me if I was a Dolphin fan. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Lids had NFL hats 2 for ten bucks last year and only the crap teams were left, so I said “kind of”. My Miami player scored his season high fantasy points yesterday.
Which hat should I wear this week?
(I’m thinking Chargers.)
@sammydog01 I am so happy no one has indulged your backhanded form of gloating. You’re not subtle!
@elimanningface I’m saving my forehanded form of gloating for Monday night.
@sammydog01 don’t divert attention away from your original actions. Unless you’re a politician, that’ll never work.
Congrats to @sammydog01. If the other thread is any indication, she is in a bit of a funk. Hopefully beating a superior GM this weekend to earn a spot in the Meh Fantasy Football championship will help lighten her mood. One would think that should be the responsibility of her kids and partner however, I think we would all agree, we live in a time when it isn’t safe to assume anything. Congrats @sammydog01! You know how to pick’em!!
@elimanningface Thanks for your concern over my holiday first world problem temper tantrum. My family members have learned to back away slowly without making eye contact until the shrieking stops.
And thanks for congratulating me. It makes it impossible to give you shit about losing. Well played.
Now I just need to beat Team Meh who dominated the season with Antonio Brown. Wait, you say Antonio is injured? That’s really too bad- I love that guy. I’m sure @woodhouse handcuffed Juju Smith-Schuster just in case.
/giphy evil laugh
@sammydog01 I’m not taking anything away from your win or ability but who could have predicted (and started) Jarvis Landry having his best weeks maybe ever and Robbie Gould putting up QB1 type numbers? And now Brown is out just as MVP talk for him was ratcheting up. Some people just have all the luck…except when it comes to baking cookies
…and fruit bars
…and remembering friends’ children
…and making reasonable holiday postal deadlines.
Now you can queue the Benny Hill evil laugh.
@elimanningface True, luck is a huge player in this thing. But don’t dis my man Jarvis- they said he is the last player in the league with at least 5 receptions in every game. His lowest score was 8 points when Cutler was out, his average is 16, and he had three games over 20 points in the first half of the season. I love you Jarvis.
My number one draft pick, OBJ, went out for the season after game 5. My rookie quarterback, Deshaun Watson (who I picked up in September) went out for the season in game 8. I miss you Deshaun. That also took the value of Will Fuller (averaging about 20 points per game) out of the picture too.
Robbie Gould, my last minute addition? Total luck. I love kickers- their scores are so random. And yeah, I have made 34 transactions and yet almost every guy I play was chosen by a computer on draft day. Thanks, computer. I love you too.
/giphy I love you computer
This screengrab makes it worse:
The only person I could have lost to, I played the last two weeks. Ha!! Congrats again @sammydog01!!
@elimanningface Did you see Purple People Beaters has a score of 193 for the week and Julio Jones hasn’t played? Yikes. I don’t know who that guy is but he got screwed being in the loser’s bracket.
@sammydog01 no, I was too busy losing to pay attention to the other teams. By the way, still no update from the other league about how anyone is doing.
@elimanningface (PS- Team Meh has a kicker and DST playing tonight.)
For those asking how it’s going in the other league, here you go:
I am attempting to carry over my championship from the expert league last season over to the Meh 2 league this season… we shall see how it goes (I’m the Texas Carnivores).
@alan21615 Good luck!
@alan21615 Well?
I hope the Texas Carnivores loses.
I hope Bend the Knee loses.
I hope Team Meh loses.
I hope Team Sammydog loses.
Good luck all.
@elimanningface That’s the spirit!
@sammydog01 while festivus is the day to air our grievances, I won’t air mine today…other than what I wrote above…and below.
I hope you lose twice.
@sammydog01 Congrats on winning the league.
I hope there is a score adjustment and you lose three times.