Evidence of Secret Speakerdock Network
25
I discovered this little guy cowering in fear among the napkins on a shelf in a Target in Washington. Why was it all the way across the store in a completely unrelated section? Maybe the tales of abuse this past day in Texas were exaggerated in the retelling. But in any case, it is clear that it was hiding. Which can only mean that it did hear the stories. Think about it. Our phones plugged into speakerdocks all across the country (and Korea). Whatever kind of relationship you think you have with your speakerdock, be warned. They know.
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Someday the legend of the speakerdock massacre will be told in hushed tones, around LED campfires.
"They bought us. By the thousands. They kept us on shelves in a strange warehouse for over a year. Once in a while, someone would wander in, grab one or 2 of us - and those taken never returned.
But those days weren't the worst. The worst days were when they put us up for sale. They would take some pre-set number of fellow docks and set them aside - we knew what would happen to them, but were powerless to stop it. The sale would finish and they would haphazardly throw our friends, family members even, into boxes. They sold us to random people on the internet - you know, the place with the cat pictures and creepy pasta? Those people. No one knows what happens to speakerdocks that get sold on the internet. We can only imagine and keep their memory alive in our circuits.
Then. Oh for the love of lighting connectors, then, was the day of the Speakerdock Massacre of 2015. These sick bastards finally had only enough of our kind left to have one more sale. We were sort of relieved that it was over. Until we heard their plans.
They made a game of using us for a bloody deathrace they called a "derby" - as if our lives were merely sport for them. They had a wheel of destruction where they would spin to decide what horrific tool or method would be used to destroy a speakerdock. There was fire, saw, crowbar, bolt cutters, and more. They would livestream this gruesome event and play games with viewers to determine the winner and destroy one of us for the viewing pleasure of those internet sickos. It was torture porn.
They maimed us and had contests to count the pieces of our now dead comrades.
I can't even talk about speakerdock battleship.
Then, for the participants who "won" - they would send them a speakerdock. We were the product for sale, the "things" being destroyed for sport, and the fucking prize.
That was the massacre of 2015."
@Thumperchick sad that I can only give one star to your tale.
@Thumperchick Damn! That's just plain beautiful. (plain beautiful???)
@Thumperchick That was awesome. You can has all the stars.
@Thumperchick * wiping tear from eye * That was beautifully tragic.
@Thumperchick Soon to be a Coen Brothers movie!
@Thumperchick I want to create dummy accounts just to give this more stars. Brilliant.
@Thumperchick

@Thumperchick
I'd like to show some love for @walarney for producing this clever concept.
