Dress as Irk
5Via several threads here--including Irk's own desperate cry for help--I am convinced that we must, must, must make this the Halloween of Irk. The thing is, I'm lazy and not very crafty. I'm sure some of you are annoyingly full of craft; I know that most of you are full of crap, so it's just a matter of saying it wrong, right? Someone please help. And not with "Martha Stewart 'oh, it's so simple'" suggestions. I want to either buy something or for it to be so easy to make that a five-year-old could do it accidentally. Maybe meh could sell us parts. Seems worthless enough. What say you?
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Aw, c'mon. Really?
In true "meh" fashion, you should give up on your quest and dress up your hand as Glen, which is much easier. Probably.
Of course this is unofficial and you just happen to be a troll named inked similar to irk a certain copyrighted troll of meh.com?
I'm down with this. And Meh might agree to it if we all wore our Meh.com shirt with this costume. An Irk army of advertisement! Sell us some Irk stuff, Meh!
@jenny Okay, I just remember they only say Meh. But we could write .com after it.
I am fascinated by the header image for this thread. Is that how Irk dresses in real life? Sadly, I cannot duplicate the look for Halloween, since I don't own a string of pearls.
@rockblossom I didn't know dresses had pockets! Had I known this, I might not have worn blue jeans so much. Oh God...I just now realized that I am kind of a hillbilly.
@jenny Oh, but if you add a string of pearls, that makes your blue jeans an avant garde fashion choice.
@jenny I think maybe if all of your dresses have pockets, you might be a hillbilly too.
@joelmw Or a savvy shopper. Many custom dress sites will add in seam pockets at no extra cost. It's damn handy to keep your phone, key, and lip balm/gloss in.
@Thumperchick Says the goat. ;-)
@Thumperchick Also, I thought all the class broads just shoved that shit in their bras. Is that not très chic?
@joelmw Yep. Bartenders LOVE being paid/tipped with boob sweat covered cash.
@joelmw Yup must be in their bras. In line at the grocery store the lady in front of me was fishing around in both boobs pulling out everything but the kitchen sink and then had a wardrobe malfunction (shirt was low cut enough to begin with I wasn't sure how anything stayed in there) and her "storage unit" contents hit the floor. While she is hanging there she finishing looking for the rest of her money, then tucks her boob back in, picks up the stuff and puts it back. Yup - really high class.
@joelmw How about those of us who don't own dresses? Does that make me a hillbilly? Oh, wait ... I grew up in the Ozarks, so never mind!
@rockblossom I attended college in the Ozarks. What does it say about me that I moved there for the higher education?
It's not too early to begin modeling prototypes. Just sayin'.
@joelmw: Nothing against Irk, but why not dress up as a paper bag puppet? I think that would fit your standard - a 5-year-old could do it accidentally!
@KDemo Not a completely horrible idea, but bag of meh is essentially @snapster, who, don't get me wrong, is awesome, but he's also the millionaire I gave $10 to so that he could start this mediocre enterprise. And, again, don't get me wrong, I'm inexplicably proud to have done so (WTF's the matter with me anyway?). I just feel like we owe Irk something. Hell, he's a troll; they probably don't even pay him minimum wage. He probably sleeps in a dusty box in some dark corner of a warehouse, surviving on ketchup packets and stale saltines. This is a token gesture, of course, one that will have no real impact on his quality of life, but we're Americans, this is the kind of meaningless shit we do.
@KDemo All that being said, you're totally right: a five-year-old could do it accidentally, so it's right up my alley. And if I dress up as anything for anything, it's probably exactly what I'll do. But someone has to fulfill my dreams for poor little Irk. They simply must.
@joelmw - Wait, do we know Irk is poor and small? He could be a monstrous troll who spends his days in a luxurious think tank financed by the Nobel Prize he won for philosophy. (Specifically his famous musings on the social implications of "How are you"). Just sayin'.
@joelmw And Irk apparently can't even afford to go to the dentist either...
@Kidsandliz Maybe Irk likes his troll teeth. He doesn't buy into our altered sense of beauty, or something.
@Thumperchick Or perhaps in the troll community, Irk's teeth are the standard for beauty. Maybe a frightening story for little trolls is about humans with all of those teeth.
@KDemo These are all excellent "Ask Irk" questions. I hope that @JonT or someone is paying attention.
@KDemo Indeed--and I admit that I did assume that he's smallish. On the other hand, I also meant the "little" mostly as a form of endearment and not, strictly speaking, to describe its size. I keep using the masculine pronoun, but it's not at all clear to me whether Irk is a he, she or it.
@KDemo Speaking of smallish, I tried a regular grocery bag and it is unfortunately just a little smallish for the effect I desire. So many complications. Sigh.
@KDemo @joelmw If you really think these are great questions, post them in the Ask Irk thread!
@joelmw - I think of a troll as halfway between ogre and leprechaun, but that doesn't clear up anything. I don't think I've ever seen female ogres or leprechauns (I'm sure someone will mention if I missed any). Also, have you tried the Big and Tall Bag Store?
@KDemo Female ogre:
@KDemo
@JonT : Mea culpa. Got a female troll? (Trying to trick you into picturing Irk).
@KDemo
Well played, @JonT
@Kidsandliz I'm far more worried about Glen's teeth.
Between Irk and Glen I am thinking there is no dental plan w/ Mediocre Labs. Sad.