Do you really hate someone this Christmas?
11Want to send them a Christmas card that jingles for three hours, gets louder if you try to turn it off, and explodes in glitter if you tear it open to get to the electronics?
https://www.firebox.com/Never-Ending-Musical-Christmas-Card/p7814?aff=1967
- 3 comments, 19 replies
- Comment
I can think of someone.
But the Secret Service … prob not.
@f00l Secret Service tends to frown on anyone in their detail receiving items that explode…
@mikibell
They have a list of things they frown upon people in their detail receiving.
@PlacidPenguin
@mikibell
The Secret Service are not famous for having great on-duty senses of humor.
Growing up, I knew someone who came to their notice. Poss schizophrenic, diagnosed bipolar, sometimes full-delusional, not great impulse control, and a love of “humorous provocation”. And completely obsessed with politics. He could rant for hours and just be warming up.
He used to, when he was under 35 years or so, during his more delusional manic episodes, take all his $, hitchhike to DC, get a hotel room, and go to the Dem or Rep HQ and volunteer. After a very short time as he “helped”, it would be obvious that he needed hospitalization or assistance and the police and the Service would be called.
He was never violent or threatening AFAIK. Just obsessed and certain he needed to see the right VIPs immediately.
After that, the Service kept tabs on his location, and had a “friendly visit” with him every few years. They were never hostile, actually came across as friendly; but he stopped going to D.C.
@f00l So, now, what are you doing since you’ve given up that hobby?
@Barney
Not me this time.
To the best of my knowledge I’ve never met a Secret Service agent or employee, and to the best of my knowledge, they’ve no reason to find me “special”.
As Goat I apologize, since my not being delusional in quite the way may possibly make this story somewhat less entertaining.
@f00l
If you’d like to be visited by employees of other government agencies, I’m sure I can help you out…
@PlacidPenguin
For the moment I will decline your kind offer.
@f00l
Your loss.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@PlacidPenguin L
Might reconsider under certain circumstances. Are they possibly named Mulder or Scully? Or cigarette-smoking man?
Are these g-persons otherwise of special interest to a lay citizen who wishes to be of no special interest to the govt?
@f00l
Pfft. You think the government cares if someone wants to not be of interest?
@PlacidPenguin
Think no such thing. Just generally attempt to avoid attracting attention.
Here, I’ll be massively annoying and quote a bit of lit (short this time):
“The byways of espionage are not populated by the brash and colourful adventurers of fiction. A man who, like Smiley, has lived and worked for years among his country’s enemies learns only one prayer: that he may never, never be noticed. Assimilation is his highest aim, he learns to love the crowds who pass him in the street without a glance; he clings to them for his anonimity and his safety. His fear makes him servile - he could embrace the shoppers who jostle him in their impatience, and force him from the pavement. He could adore the officials, the police, the bus conductors, for the terse indifference of their attitudes.”
Not that I have any connection to espionage,save for the reading of popular books.
Apologize for the lit quote.
Apologize for not being a spy.
Apologize for being only partially delusional day-to-day.
@f00l I thought you were thinking of our calm (?) ex-scapenguin, for his campaign to elevate you to goatdom…
@compunaut
The byways of @PlacidPenguin’s mind appear complex.
Further study is needed.
@f00l I was visited by the FBI at work years ago.
/image FBI
My friend was applying to be a Federal Police Officer and they interviewed me.
@looseneck
I got a call from the FBI once. I had a FidoNet node and one sysop in our area appeared to have been bad. The guy getting investigated had bragged about hacking stuff but we thought it was just his BS. Anyway, I didn’t have any info to give or withhold. The agent joked with me about the x-files and went on to the next sysop.
IDK if the other sysops - some knew a lot about him and detested him with rage on top - gave the FBI agent info. I do know the the troublemaker (who had been an ass for years) - set his BBS on autopilot and vanished for a while. When he re-surfaced - a few years later to my awareness - he claimed to have been on the lam due to his incredible hacking, so I heard. I don’t think I ever laid eyes on him, which was fine. By that time FidoNet was seriously dying because internet, and that asshat guy vanished again. I never knew if there were anything to it.
@f00l It sucks when you can’t get closure to a story. Have you ever gone to the google to look him up?
@looseneck
I suppose I could. Don’t remember the name, but know someone who does.
They also have never ending congratulations and never ending birthday cards.
I should consider this website in the future.
I don’t hate people, but there are some who deserve to be thusly annoyed.
Also… WTH… “Product not available at the moment”??
@PocketBrain sorry, you’ll have to get a birthday or congratulations card instead.
@PocketBrain I tracked down who sells them in the US and it seems that company is “Joker Greeting”… but… the only one they have in stock with confetti inside is a recordable one… not the cool rock song one… the rock song one is available but has no confetti within.
https://www.jokergreeting.com/