Disasters and terrible incidents: updates thread
11Hurricanes. So many, so terrible.
Fires.
Earthquakes.
Mudslides.
Shootings.
Volcanos?
Train derailments.
What am I missing?
Perhaps some winter severities?
So much, so many, so intense, that I’ve lost track of how people and their family and friends are doing.
How are you all doing?
Whose house is still a mess?
Who is still not home? (@AttyVette?)
Who is still recovering, or has family and friends who are still trying to climb out of the destruction?
Who is still trying to help out family?
Who can tell us what life is like on PR and the badly-hit Caribbean islands?
These updates gets mentioned, briefly, in various topics, but perhaps many don’t see the news there.
- 16 comments, 123 replies
- Comment
You forgot the biggest disaster of all: The U.S. government.
@cinoclav Thanks Obama
@therealjrn Turn the clock back. Some of the deregulation started under Clinton and expanded under Bush. Those were a catalyst in creating the housing boom, a false economy based on paper wealth around it, and then the subsequent fall that lead to the entire economy crashing.
Some good reads on how things played out.
Also:
For a little while during the era, I was working as an mortgage auditor. That means that things were verified, right? Nope. My role was to make sure the paperwork – no matter how obvious it was that the clients were setting themselves up for disaster – was in order and pass it on through. It was beyond ridiculous and why I left that industry.
@narfcake Ah yes, Mr Clinton, our nation’s first black president.
I had hoped this would stay personal, not political.
The very people I hope to hear from might avoid yet another tiresome, contentious, “I’m right”-type politics topic.
I presume many of us have strong feelings about politics right now. So do I.
Can we discuss/not-discuss all that somewhere else?
@f00l Agreed, sorry. My bad
@therealjrn
/giphy "bad goat"
@f00l
Oops.
/giphy "bad giphy"
I couldn’t get a “bad goat” giphy I wanted to keep.
I was looking for something lightly humorous, not a cosmic cousin if Dionysus.
But, cool, I guess.
@f00l That is the very best goat giphy ever.
@OldCatLady
That Goat is rockin’.
I’d totally consume nectar at that Goat’s party.
Why do I have the feeling that Aleister Crowley might be hanging out in that neighborhood?
Hey, @therealjrn, that’s your look, exactly, isn’t it?
Like a photograph?
I miss my mom.
@Barney
@Barney
/giphy hugs
@Barney
@Barney
@Barney
@Barney sorry — praying for you
@f00l @Barney @therealjrn yesterday on the local news they had a psychologist talk about the holidays for those who are grieving. The psychologist’s advice was that while most think “i shouldn’t bring up the departed’s name so i don’t cause this grieving person more pain” in reality the griever is already thinking of them and needs to talk about them. Yes you many feel uncomfortable/not know what to say, but best is to bring up a goid memory.
So thank you f00l for this thread. Barney i loved hearing the story as it unfolded about the toy dog you got for your Mom. Therealjrn sorry about your mom and brother but i am still glad you shared your memories of your mom with us.
@mollama If they were not very worthy humans, we would not grieve. Thanks for posting!
I haven’t watched the news in a couple months. All I hear about it Trump bashing. Although I’m not a fan of his, I cannot stand hearing about him every second I turn on the news. There are other things going on in the world besides trivial things like “Trump drinks 12 cokes a day.” Who cares?
We just went through two hurricanes in Florida back-to-back. I did get some damage but nothing major. A previous one called Matthew damaged my roof and that cost a lot of money out of pocket. In this state, the insurance policies are written in such a way that any kind of wind damage will cost you 2.1% of the insured value of the home. The amount it’s insured for is much more than the house is actually worth. The reason is that it would cost a bunch more to rebuild the house than I could sell the house for today. So insurance wasn’t very helpful in a roof repair.
Mrs. cengland0 has all her family members in Puerto Rico. She’s the only person in the family that doesn’t live there and her family sustained a lot of damage. Had power out for very long times. Don’t have food in the grocery stores, shortages of gas, flooded neighborhoods, and looting. Hospitals were turning people away because they don’t have the resources to help everyone and the power is out for them as well. We are trying to help as much as possible but our resources are limited.
Since many of the businesses cannot reopen, so many people are unemployed and couldn’t buy anything even if it was available.
One of Mrs. cengland0’s sisters house is not able to be lived in so she’s living with another family member. Family is helping other family out which is nice. FEMA isn’t helping to fix anything but they are offering to help pay for some of the costs (which I don’t understand because the insurance companies should be paying). Anyway, things like patios that are damaged are not being paid for as that is not considered living space so everyone has to pay for that repair themselves. I could go on and on about what I’ve learned but I don’t want to make this whole thread about us nor do I want to bore anyone.
@cengland0
Thx. This is what I had hoped for in this topic.
You were one who I hoped would have more info for us.
@cengland0
Re going on and on.
I’ve no doubt you know the difference between updating/reporting and whining/overtly-seeking-sympathy.
Please do tell us what life is like there. I hope your extended family is gonna be ok.
@f00l @cengland0 so sorry to hear about your sisters situation as well as the other people living in Puerto Rico ( I should say existing there right now :(… Praying for you all.
I miss my brother, Christopher, who died too young and was born on Christmas Day. I miss my Mom, who was my running buddy for shopping trips, concerts, ball games and Broadway shows. She left to be with the Lord last February.
Tomorrow, I have the final hearing on her estate as executor at 9:20AM up at the courthouse.
@therealjrn
If you got that legal stuff done in under a year, congrats.
It always hurts more at holidays, doesn’t it?
And you and @Barney both have fresh scars.
@therealjrn I am sorry to hear this…holidays and birthdays of lost loved ones have to be horrible. Thinking about and praying for you.
@therealjrn Hang in there. I’ve found the paperwork, etc to be almost as bad as everything else. Finally some light at the end of the tunnel. I still have a good deal but it’s not so overwhelming anymore. A few weeks ago I was simply filled with a peace that passes all understanding and it’s been so much better. Keep good thoughts.
This thread is pretty shitty.
@therealjrn
?
@f00l Depressing, a downer, a bad trip man. If you were looking for a story of human triumph over adversity, I’m fucking fresh out of those.
@therealjrn
Ok, we all have those moments. Or days or weeks or (sadly), sometimes, years.
But … I know where you live.
In a red state. Or a blue state. Or a purple state. Or a fuck-you state.
Ya know what?
Look here. In these forums.
Look down the street.
Look around when you go out.
or look in the mirror.
You just found your story of people who just keep going and trying to do good anyway.
I know exactly what would happen if someone nearby you, or someone in your responsibility orbit, or someone you cared about, needed assistance right this minute.
You know exactly what would happen, too.
You don’t need to hear it from me.
@f00l Yes, I live in the Territories, Tulsa, Oklahoma. We have real Cowboys and Indians here.
@therealjrn
Yes. Not bad.
Tho I didn’t wanna torment you further, since it’s not Texas and all.
/image “Texas”
But “I know where you live” was not really meant to refer to a specific place.
Just any place where there’s still some decency and some good people who haven’t quit yet.
@therealjrn My late husband was born, and raised, in Tulsa. He’s been gone for an awfully long time, but it still feels like a knife in the heart to be reminded of it. He was a sweet and gentle soul, and he died much too young (54).
@Shrdlu Indeed.
@shrdlu
The loss never completely heals.
Just heals over.
But I guess we wouldn’t want it to.
@Shrdlu sorry for your loss…it has to be extremely hard -praying for you.
@therealjrn aww hugs.
@Shrdlu
Here to jump in on the bandwagon, and since I’ve been silent for a while.
Early August I was on a job crushing hard drives with a pneumatic press. Overdid it, couldn’t feel my right arm the next day.
I knew it was a pinched nerve that morning, and have gone through the typical doctor to specialist back to doctor to specialist routine. Finally have an appointment for a neurosurgeon scheduled in early January.
Since the anti-anxiety meds I’m on interact with opiates, I’ve been unable to get any. I guess that’s a good thing - except that the post-surgery requires the use of said opiates. Soooo, later this week I will be detoxing from earlier mentioned anti-anxiety meds then entering a residential program. I’ll also need to stop the blood pressure meds but that’s another issue.
My job was contracted and as such have had no income since early August (and lost that job, obviously). So I’ll expect at least another 6 months without job or income while I recover from spinal fusion - I believe.
I was unable to buy or even make any Christmas gifts this year - so that was awkward celebrating last weekend early (since I may be away for a while). Got some nice gifts from relatives, anyway. Prefer the gift of giving, however…
So on the road to a life of shit posture with high likelihood of future surgeries. Maybe the constant burning numbness will subside though, that would be ace.
Sorry for not having any natural disaster stories - gonna have to wait until later in the year for the inevitable snowstorm that kills the power for a couple weeks.
All said though, pretty good year comparatively. And we survived a year of Trump, so 3 more years isn’t going to feel as long as the first amirite?
@lysdexia lysdexia joined us 1253 days ago on July 16th, 2014.
lysdexia isn’t sure about this whole meh thing having placed 0 orders, clicked the meh button 0 times, and voted in 1 poll.
I’m officially poor lol.
@lysdexia YEAH, IF HE DOESN’T KILL US ALL WITH HIS FUCKING TWITTER ACCOUNT. DOESN’T HE KNOW HOW DANGEROUS NORTH KOREA IS?
@therealjrn oopsie, sorry, my bad
@therealjrn LOL SORRY ABOUT BRINGING POLITICS BACK IN! I CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT.
@lysdexia
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@therealjrn I guess it’d be proper etiquette to blame you for that. But I don’t. I was asking for it. -.-
@lysdexia Awe, that’s what I’m here for man. Blame away.
@therealjrn Goat looks suspiciously like Krampus
@lysdexia Ho ho ho! 'tis the season!
@lysdexia
I think you’ve still got your sense if humor at least.
Horrible, the injury. : (
Please keep us updated.
@f00l Thanks, yes still have the humor.
These things will pass, and are rather trivial given the climate.
@f00l A funny story!
Two weeks ago I was at a diner. Specifically Chip’s Family Restaurant.
/youtube chip’s family restaurant
The table we were assigned had a backboard with an RJ11 as well as a power outlet. This was completely unexpected and perplexing at first.
I then remember reading the sign at the front door ‘We now accept online ordering’.
I dashed out to my car for my laptop, plugged in dialed home to my local network and placed my order. (would have been more fun, had there been an old AOL cd or if local dialups still were a thing)
Still brought a smile to my face, and am sure they were wondering what the hell I was doing but no one had the courage to ask.
@lysdexia I’m on both pain killers (opiates) and anti-anxiety medicine too. Since they are prescribed by two different doctors, I think I’m slipping through the cracks but the insurance company has caught the potential drug interaction and sends me letters about it all the time. They said they send copies to both doctors but neither document has said anything about it for several years.
I must have both medicines or I cannot function in life. If it causes me to stop breathing, then so be it. Without them, my life wouldn’t be worth living anyway.
Just hope that neither doctor ever notices the letters from the insurance company and stops prescribing the medicine. I’ll be in a lot of trouble if that ever happens.
@cengland0 Sorry my friend, that is a precarious position.
I’ve actually tried tapering off klonopin with the help of my doctor (technically an aprn), down from 6mg/day all the way to 2mg after a year. That was a failure and am back up to the 6mg again.
Being honest, I’ve attempted cold turkey on my own before numerous times. I’ve done all of the wrong things including the use of herb which I’ve now read actually increases the withdrawal effects.
Being a fan of the herb and also a self proclaimed nitrous superstar - I know exactly what it’s like to lose yourself. When you realize you’re so close to dying but still in control, just by taking a breath, it’s a relief and feels like the world is yours.
Two weeks ago is when something changed in me. I get auto refills every month on 6 month intervals for the klonopin. Insurance will not allow me to request a new prescription until I am 3 days away from being out. That day happened to be a Wednesday, and when Friday came and I was down to the last of the pills - my pharmacist still hadn’t gotten in touch with the aprn. The pharmacist wasn’t bothered, and straight up told me to come back on Monday (as the aprn wasn’t on-call during the weekend fml).
Anyhow, I figured yea I can do that it’s only 2 days Saturday and Sunday then I will pick them up on Monday. By Sunday afternoon I feel as if I’ve smoked herb and done whippits but I still can control it.
Monday comes, I’m thinking great I’ll go pick up my klonopin and the world will be at one once again. Wrong - my pharmacist had lied and never contacted the aprn. At this point I’m out of body fucked, completely numb and can’t make a call to 911 because I can’t even think what to say. I call a friend who knows me pretty well, he comes to bring me to the hospital.
Sitting in the ‘drunk tank’ of the hospital waiting on my fucking pills for 8 hours all the while my bp over 170/120 I’m literally burning up inside. It is at this point that I made the decision that I will never be in that situation again, and thus committed to detox.
I enter detox later this week. Will I live? Honestly would give it a 25% chance based on where I’m going. But it’s a chance I’m willing to take at this point. I will never ever leave my life up to the ability to have a pill again (lol, that’s a lie - I’m on other pills that keep me alive but). Never again I say.
I’ll let you know how it goes. I know it is going to be especially hard for me - having blood pressure issues, gastro issues, former lsd abuser with frequent flashbacks - combined with this being a state run 5 day detox (rofl 5 days…). But as hard as it may be, it still has to be worth it right?
@lysdexia Chip’s got more varieties of pancakes than you can shake a stick at. But you can’t get em on a stick because they don’t sell em that way.
Gets me every time.
@lysdexia
I salute you. You got guts.
Re Benzodiazepines
Back during the days when I thought psychoactive ingestibles were interesting or worthy or fun, I never got into these.
I think I might have a moderately serious anxiety disorder of some sort. Perhaps I handle it in some odd way. But I can’t imagine tuning the brain down. I never liked downers.
And I hate even the idea of pharmaceutical addictions in my life;
tho I have some ocd stuff going on, and some nervousness stuff, and some avoidant stuff, and some procrastination stuff, and some “I haven’t figured it how to fix this mess” stuff, and so on, which means not all my conduct is exactly “well-examined”.
During my exploratory years (30+ years back), whatever I used, I could always “take 'em (literally) or leave 'em”.
I feel very lucky now. I know people who’ve had to get off Xanax or something similar. It was (understatement) never fun.
But they did it.
I hope your sense of humor helps. It seems it might, sometimes?
Hey. Good luck. Go for it. I salute you.
@f00l
Thank you!
The salute is undeserved, but I’ll take it any way I can get it.
Re Anxiety Disorder
I’m a proponent of any drug that you’ve done your own proper research on. That means knowing exactly what that medicine does to the brain, what it’s been used for in the past/present, addiction potential as well as knowing your own body.
I’m also with you on the ‘not down for downers’. Feeling even slightly less there/intelligent isn’t what I’m about. I was on true downers, court ordered at one point and feel the pain of anyone going through medically induced lobotomy. In fact there’s a report published in the journal of medicine that I read a few years back showing that over 80% of inmates are on. The most inhumane thing of our humanity is hiding what we’re doing under the cloak of medicine.
I, too, have experimented with various concoctions and up until these I have never felt physical addiction. 4 years a meth addict, but could take it or leave it - I don’t have an addictive personality. I only call it an addiction because it was a daily thing for me - self medicating to get through the long days and nights of work while trying to block out how different I felt I was mentally compared to everyone else. Of course that’s nonsense and a bit of narcissism, but maybe it’s not. I think that’s where you’re at as well - perhaps more advanced than your average human which makes you disconnected from people that just don’t get how unreal their reality is.
But with that said, if you feel like you need the help I’m not against benzos. They are extremely helpful to me and not sure what I’ll use to replace them. The Only reason for me getting off is not having faith in our health care system. I chose the drug, I knew what I was getting into. I didn’t choose the system, however.
@f00l you are an asset to this community, have been from the start, and I’m personally glad to have met you. It may not seem like it because of the people around you in real life, but there are people like you that see things differently. Trust that, and know it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
@lysdexia The drug I take is Klonopin too along with Hydrocodone for an unrelated problem. However, I’m only prescribed 0.5mg of Klonopin twice a day. I’ve been taking it for the last 17 years. Your dose is so much stronger than mine so I feel bad for you. The drug makes me sleepy and drowsy all day. I have to take naps throughout the day with the little dose that I’m on. I can only imagine what you must go through with up to 6mg a day.
Sometimes I’ll forget a dose and I will get very sick to my stomach and that’s when I realize I missed it. People think it’s all in my head and I can stop taking it any time but I think it’s a real disorder that needs medication to resolve. I’ve had this problem all my life and it was only diagnosed 17 years ago when I ended up in the emergency room because I thought I was having a heart attack – it was just a panic attack instead. That turned out to be a great day because one of my life problems had the root cause determined.
It’s really a debilitating problem having anxiety. I’ve been working from home for so long that I would have a problem finding a job working at a physical location. I don’t even like leaving the house to go grocery shopping but I do it because it’s necessary. I just recently got laid off and I’ve decided to retire instead of looking for another job because I don’t think I can make it out in the real world.
By the way, I used to be OCD and probably a little autistic. Then I got on the medication and my house is now in disorder (was never like that before), I am in a relationship, and I don’t feel as smart as I used to be. I was very creative and could concentrate and accomplish highly detailed projects. Now I have a problem remembering what I ate for dinner and have very little motivation in life. So I could stop taking the pills and be sick all the time or take the pills and be someone functional.
@cengland0 Hate to say it but 17 years, just wow.
But to anyone that thinks that missing a dose and being sick is in your head, there are plenty of reputable sites and papers that you can cite showing benzo withdrawal is a real thing.
After 17 years though the GABA receptors in your brain are essentially gone and will never return. That’s just the truth of it, and there is nothing to bring that back. But shit, if you’re on these drugs and still not getting where you need to be, it’s most likely time to find a real head shrinker. It’s scary - I know - but what’s even more scary is your ability to take these drugs and accept that your life can’t feel better because it can.
I will think of you and really hope that you find happiness. I feel your pain in not having motivation or feeling slowed down but there are ways of fixing that. Take me - I’m on Adderall to in effect reverse the effects. There are solutions, just don’t give up on yourself.
@lysdexia
Mr experimental psychoactive era was long before I ever dealt with the any portion of the mental health system.
My “knowledge” at the time was mere street rep, from people I trusted. Fortunately, we never got into terrible stuff. Must have been lucky about the circles I traveled in.
I just found anti-anxiety stuff totally boring. All that. Xanax, valium, blah blah, even ludes. And not effective for my anxiety either. The few experiences I had left me feeling “stupefied and anxious” instead of “anxious”.
And I never ever used pharma (or weed) to get through a day. Ever. I got thru bad days by being miserable (if need be), and just going on. Psychoactives were for “exploration”, if you wanna call it that. Not for life. And not for thinking.
And I never used them to turn down the pressure of misery, or get thru a bad night. It never appealed. I couldn’t see how drugged misery was an improvement on misery done “straight”.
I could tend to be bored by them quickly.
“Nice effect. Yeah, so what, already?” So …time to find another direction.
But this was a long time ago. That culture had its widespread myths back then.
Those myths are deservedly tattered and faded.
Life is or can be some hard shit. Getting away from it that way does not help.
And they kinda make one, socially, emotionally, and in terms of bonding, tend to be inauthentic and unaware and unengaged and narrowed. People get cut off.
Bad for relationships.
Bad for problem solving in the real world (yeah, I know there is the rare brilliant exception).
Terrible for growing up.
Terrible for parenthood.
Terrible for becoming sometime who can deal well with what life throws at you.
Terrible for having a variety and depth of serious relationships.
(not referring to legit med uses here).
I can’t claim to have walked away from all that because of any wisdom. I think it just never meant that much to me in the first place. Part of the fabric if a certain era and culture, that needed to go and did.
I pity any kid will gets much into that now. All that may look cool in its way, or provide an interesting escape, but it’s not where the challenges and the growth will be. Any one who spends too much time there will be left behind, I fear.
Re “meds”. The legit kind.
I never worried much about psych diagnoses. Might be some that fit; depressive something or other, or a generalized anxiety thing (I don’t seem to have panic attacks, or not bad ones) or a personality disorder or three, OCD, possibly a slice of ADHD, or something from the autism charts.
I regard those categories as being “useful and somewhat primitive”.
Some of them are kinda tight. Schizophrenia. Major depression. Some forms of bipolar. Some forms of autism. Some others.
Many of the “spectrum” disorders, the personality disorders, the various offshoots and refinements of the original, more obvious major diagnoses: these will change character; I suspect, they will change a lot. I think - I hope - that is all to the good.
As for psych pharmaceuticals; that’s a ragged and sometimes bitter history; tho they have done a lot of good, too.
I would have nothing to do with psych Rx’s as such, for years. I knew some people who had really, really bad experiences in some excellent big name famous hospitals during the 1960’s. I wanted none of that.
Cuckoo’s Nest stuff. Real bad.
Those days are gone. if you think things are bad now, don’t look back 50 years. Or 80.
Post-Freud psych is in its infancy.
In another decade or two, they ought to know much more. And have new ways of splitting up the diagnoses and their intertwining relationships and etiology. Much new understanding of environmental and family/social influences. Much new brain & genetic understanding. Much new habituation and learned habitual outlook understanding.
And way way better meds. I hope.
I hope we use these well, and not for some high-tech Brave New World.
The people I’ve met who work in the psych meds area are good people. I hope it stays that way.
Anyone who can use all the modern psych and habituation and learning techniques to reduce in themselves the need for such meds ought to try it.
But these meds are and can be life savers. And can make people who struggled for years become effective and confident humans.
The brain is such an amazing mess.
It was prob simpler to work this stuff out back when our species worried about fire, water, food, winter, migration, competing tribes, and the nearest safe cave.
@f00l
On my way to bed, but wanted to respond to one thing that you said - my apologies if you were expecting more, as I’m over my head in this discussion.
Re Those days are gone. if you think things are bad now, don’t look back 50 years. Or 80.
Some will say that our executions have become less brutal as well - but we know that to be false. Same goes the psych industry as a whole - particularly when dealing with the prison population.
It’s the same barbarism, just with a new name and a new face.
It can be debated all day but facts remain. A man or woman in a state hospital today is no better off than 80 years ago. But you know that, so I wonder why you would say that. My good friend who works in the field would even agree with your statement, it makes me sick.
Any research at all into Thorazine overuse in prison/state institutions will show that the more things change the more they stay the same. Just because we no longer use picks makes the damage no less severe. Just because you no longer see naked inmates looking like chimps in the asylums does not mean these hospitals have changed one bit. IT IS AN ILLUSION.
Fuck the psych industry, that is all. (Having said that, I do believe there are good people in the industry as well patients requiring medication. But Thorazine? Really? Is that required to help the patient, or help keep the nurses from quitting?)
Good night and will leave you with a song.
Stand by to stand by
Ain’t no need to worry today
Thorazine shuffle make everything OK
I know how you feel
You say you need your highs and lows
But what if you could take your pain
And just let it go
Step right back and watch me now
I’ll show you how it’s done
Stay right here with me now
Till the damage is done
And the damage is done
Time drags by
When you’re boring
Don’t care what you do care what you say
There comes a time
When you got to let the monster inside you
Let him come on out, come on out and play
Step right back and watch me now
I’ll show you how it’s done
Stay right here with me now
Till the damage is done
Step right back and watch me now
I’ll show you how it’s done
Stay right here with me now
Till the damage is done
And the damage is done
Stand by to stand by
Ain’t no need to worry today
Thorazine shuffle make everything OK
Songwriters: Warren Haynes / Matthew Abts
Thorazine Shuffle lyrics © BMG Rights Management US, LLC
@lysdexia Wow, you’re a very popular person in the threads today.
I don’t think it’s benzo withdrawal that causes me to get sick when I miss a dose. I’ve always had gastro issues my entire life. When I was 16 in the early 80’s (I’m 52 now), The doctors finally diagnosed me as celiac so now I know I need to stay away from gluten and I should be okay. But I was still having IBS issues and couldn’t figure it out. I’d stay away from gluten but still get sick. It wasn’t until 2001 that I had a panic attack and ended up in the emergency room that it was figured out that anxiety was causing the other half of the IBS in addition to being celiac.
When I don’t take my klonopin, I revert back to having anxiety (but I don’t notice) and get diarrhea, gas, and stomach cramps. It even does it when I stay at home. When I went into an office prior to being diagnosed with anxiety, I would fast all day and only eat after I got home – that was eating once a day. I was so skinny and could never gain weight.
I don’t think a head shrinker will help because I really think it’s a chemical issue and not a psychological one. I had this problem as a child when I had no worries in life. I have panic attacks while I’m at home and on vacation so nothing to worry about again. I was very lucky in my life by working my way up the corporate ladder so I was a Vice President of a major Fortune 500 company. Finances were not an issue, was not in a relationship (nor did I want to be in one), paid off my home, etc. Nothing to worry about in life except I’m sick all the time unless I take my pills.
Thanks but happiness is not in my vocabulary. I’ve always mentioned to Mrs. cengland0 that there’s nothing I want out of life. I have no hobbies (except frequent the forums here
) and don’t need or want anything. Have no goals anymore. There’s nothing I can think of that I want to do. You know how some people cannot wait until the weekend so they can do <Insert Fun Thing Here>? Well, I cannot think of what that is for me.
I was never diagnosed with PDD/NOS or autism but, like I mentioned in a previous message, I think I was autistic before taking the klonopin (self diagnostic). Actually, now that I think of it, my doctor felt that zoloft had some anti-anxiety properties to it and had me taking that for a couple years. I finally weened myself off of it because it was making me depressed. The effects never wore off even after I have been free of the stuff for 15 years. For example, I used to listen to music all the time even while working. Now I cannot listen to music at all. If I do, it strikes up emotions and I could potentially start crying or feel bad. That’s just one example. I think I mentioned the OCD part to you too. I am no longer OCD and my house is not as organized as I would like it to be. I am sometimes embarrassed to have company over whereas prior to the zoloft, I was proud of my home and loved to show it off to people.
Seems like you and I have had similar paths with this problem. I’ve never met a person like myself before so this was an informative conversation. Thank you very much for being so open about your problems so I can see how mine compares and that I know I’m not alone out there.
@cengland0
Sorry if it seemed like I thought I had all the answers - every person is unique!
It’s now 10am, have just called the detox center for intake tomorrow morning and everything is starting to feel more real to me.
Quarters for payphone, underware/socks, shower shoes.
I’d mentioned earlier that I’m anti psych, why have I done this?! Extreme panic attack now - this is going to be a really bad experience.
Omggggh make it go away. So much to get done today, so little motivation, so much fear. Acceptance.
As far as my recommendations to you - I still see them as valid. You’re in the prime of your life, there is zero reason for you not to pursue a new doctor that can assess what you’re on now and make recommendations. That’s risky due to the prescription complications, but a necessary evil. You don’t need that hanging over your head, adding more stress.
I’ve witnessed my step-father giving in after retirement and after losing both dogs - feeling there was nothing to turn to but alcohol. Giving up at 52 is not the answer my man. If I can get one thing through, that would be it. There’s no reason to go about like that - there are caring psychologists and psychiatrists that can help you.
I agree that it’s likely a chemical embalance, but understand that you’ll need a team to sort this out and unfortunately that does require a psychologist. I’m not saying to go for cognitive therapy, only to help find the appropriate doctor for what you’re experiencing. We both know that’s the process anyhow…
I too am glad I met you, and know that we have similar stories. I wasn’t diagnosed with anything until I was 30 (beyond misdiagnoses - I hope lol).
Maybe we can get through this together.
For now, I’ll be off getting things prepared for an extended stay. Godspeed!
FWIW all my sympathies to @cengland0 and @lysdexia, and kudos for talking about this topic. There has been someone in my life who has been on klonopin for years and has tried everything to get off it, including spending time in an addiction recovery center. Unfortunately nothing has worked and a low maintenance dose seems to be a necessity, and recognized as such by a counseling psychiatrist, who handles the prescriptions. Believe me that many alternatives have been tried.
The symptoms of tiredness and occasional dopiness are frustrating for everyone even the patient but the alternative is simply worse. It’s a tough row to hoe but there are sadly many others out there and ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
Best wishes and good luck to all.
@aetris
Thank you. I will keep this thread updated when I get a chance, I am legit more afraid of the following days than entering my 3 year stretch.
Time will tell.
@aetris I think you hit the nail on the head. I would prefer xanax but the doctor said I cannot have that for every day use. I have a daily dose of klonopin that seems to be working. I actually thought I had a high dose at 0.5mg twice a day until I met @lysdexia and realize I have the minimum dose. That somehow makes me feel a little better but sometimes I feel like I need a higher dose because I don’t get out of the house enough. Mrs. cengland0 travels all the time and that’s a big no-no for me. I get left at home all by myself while she’s out enjoying herself but that’s “my choice” (in quotes because there’s really no other option than not going with her).
I worked for my previous company for 11 years when I found myself promoted without wanting to be promoted. I didn’t have the option to not take the new job. Unfortunately, the new position was to do what I currently did but at a national level. It was a huge salary increase but it would require 20% travel. I ended up having to leave the company because I couldn’t handle the travel.
A competitor was trying to recruit me for many years and I declined their offers. I had no reason to quit my previous job until then. So once that happened, I contacted them and let them know I’m leaving my job and now is their chance. They hired me with the understanding that I would never have to travel – ever!
So I started working for the new company and about 5 months into it, they said we all had to go to a team meeting in Phoenix. I couldn’t get out of it. As the time got closer to the departure date, I got sicker and sicker and the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong. About a week before, I ended up in the emergency room due to a panic attack but I thought I was having a heart attack.
Luckily, the boss found out and she said I didn’t have to go. I was the only employee not there. Been working from home ever since until recently when they outsourced my entire department to a contracting firm.
I still have problems leaving the house to do simple tasks like grocery shopping, doctors appointments, going the gym, and socializing with Mrs. cengland0’s friends (All my friends come to my house to visit because they know I’d never go visit them). Before I leave the house, I have to plan that trip carefully – part of which is fasting for several hours before.
So I have the option to go back to the way I was where I could concentrate more and be less tired and more motivated but then never leave the house. I had to pick being like a zombie in return for having some kind of normal life. I think it’s a necessary trade off because I remember how bad it was before I got on the medicine. I even hired someone to come to my house to cut my hair because I had difficulty making the trip to a barber.
@lysdexia
Re Thorazine
When I said things were worse 50 or 80 years ago, I was intending to refer to what could be called the “legitimate” world of psychiatry, not the over-medication of permanent “patients” and inmates for purposes of crowd control and human warehousing.
I don’t know much about what various prison system do with that. I think it can vary from place to place and from system operator to operator.
I know of some prison systems where I think it’s not much like that, at least for most inmates (based on what I’ve heard from persons why have no motivation to “protect the system”. I’m sure there are very dark corners tho. Psych meds used as, essentially, tools of war.
And I’m sure that in some institutions, “chemical lobotomies” are legion.
There needs to be a massive exposure and lawsuit going on, butin the current political world, that seems unlikely. Too many other crises. Too many other rabbits to chase everyday.
Re state hospitals: never even been near or on the premises of one. I have known since people whose values I repect who have worked in those systems for a year or more, or who have provided medical or psych services or similar. They were not appalled by that institution.
I know an long term ER nurse, who works in a country hospital with a state prison and a state mental family nearby. The patients and inmates come to that ER when they need emergency medical services or surgery. She has mentioned that the patients and inmates do not come into that ER “drugged up”.
She was worried that they world, when she took the ER job. She said couldn’t have kept a job that meant providing medical services to those permanently drugged by a bureaucracy. She just won’t work in that setting.
But these are a tiny sample.
And none of which speaks to what is going on at other institutions.
Re now versus half a century ago, in state hospitals: I know some reliable stories from then. Have seen legal papers and all.
You and I weren’t there there, watching; but dont be too sure the state mental places weren’t way worse way back when.
Thorazine and similar have been around a long, long time. Similar meds have a very long and dark history. Especially in state hospitals.
And they did real lobotomies, the surgical kind. (Imagine the “careful subtlety” of a coat hanger rod scraping your brain. OK. That’s an exaggeration. A “little” exaggeration.).
And they did ECT the brutal way, sometimes repeatedly, day after day. They did it as punishment.
And similar with extreme insulin shock as punishment, inflicted day after day.
Cuckoo’s Nest was all too real. Compared to some common practices in some “name” places, it was mild.
The state prisons systems, and subcontractors, and penitentiaries are something else. The potential for authoritarian evil can be, legally, close to unchecked; and all nicely cloaked in "medical terminology."
And no one even wants to look.
Gives cover to the practices. No need for mirrored sunglasses.
It’s the practice of medicine.
“It’s for the inmate’s own good, right?”
@lysdexia
I world encourage extensive caution and an educated approach to psych for anyone.
The more one’s issues mark one out as a potential “loser” or “problem”, the more need for wariness.
The middle and upper class near-normals and highly-functionals get the best care.
Re psych:
I think you know the game.
So I hope you use psych. Don’t let psych use you.
I think you hardly need to hear that from anyone.
@f00l
I’m a walking contradiction, sorry to abuse that line. But true.
I’ve experienced exactly one state hospital personally in the mid 90’s. Know someone in one now for murder.
So it is true I base my theories on a small subset, and readily admit that.
I also experienced forced Haldol injections while in state prison. While I can only speak to that one institution, there are numerous papers written on the epidemic. While no physical coat hanger per se, the effects after a short period prove to be permanent.
I’m not one to easily accept psych and always (apart from obvious situations in the past) plan a way out. ^^
@lysdexia
You can’t control all their info and all they do.
And they will have your records and Rx history and to a degree, your behavioral history. And you choose to seek the detox, and that seems very worthy. I hope it goes well. I hope it’s a good thing for your life, not an endless trial.
What I meant about hoping you use psych rather than the reverse:
You are in the public system for the moment, right? rather than the vastly superior private system?
(I don’t know that the private system, for those who “fit in”, and for those of the middle class and above, is always, every time, superior in quality of treatment, tho I suspect the private system is often or usually far better.
But the private system is more or less always better in the level of respect accorded to the patient. People are less likely be been seen as “troublesome others” and more likely to be seen as “worthy individuals”.
In the private system, being a “worthy individual” is usually the norm, at least for starters. In the public system, this is not always automatic, and you may have to manipulate the politics and relationships to get it.
So I hope you will play the necessary political and negotiating game, and play it well.
For your own well-being, I hope you intend to appear to be as close as possible to the “ideal patient”.
(This is not a “state hospital” strategy. That’s another world. This is a strategy for city and county public facilities.
This strategy is usually not needed to the same degree within a “private care” setting, tho it may be useful there also).
The “ideal patient” is a cooperating and intelligent person who gives the providers positive regard and makes it easy for them to care personally about you. (frequently their jobs are difficult and exhausting)
It helps to be cooperative when possible, intelligent, respectful. Not necessarily compliant at every instant.
It helps to make high quality conversation. And to treat them like you have some regard and respect for them. It helps to be very careful and rational and empathetic, whenever you challenge their perceptions and choices.
They pretty much all want to be liked and respected and appreciated by their most insightful and intelligent patients. And where there is ever a slight bond, they give more. And listen better. And they work harder for the patient.
They like good outcomes. They like feeling they don’t always work in hell. They like experiencing some sense that sometimes they manage to witness or achieve the things they intended to work for when they first went into mental health.
So play that game, unless you can’t, or you are sure you have a better game.
Be friendly. Reasonably positive. Have a professional and helpful attitude, as tho you were at work. Sympathize and empathize. (If they, or the system, is terribly flawed, save the expression of that for private times, and for after you leave).
Don’t be a source of trouble. Don’t “have an attitude” or similar. Engage them. Make them feel interesting. Make them think you are interesting.
Having achieved the attitudes and relationships: control the flow of information. Tell them the truth, but present it so that they will help you in the way you need to be helped.
You know this ground. You know how to do this. Be careful about extraneous extra info, you want to be careful what winds up in there record.
Be, if you can, a “model and empathetic patient”.
You know how political this environment is.
Sadly, these are often no places for the very naive, and for those who are immature, or who prefer self-expression to success. Sadly, these are often no places for the nearly non-functional (tho often these places still do much good).
I wish these places were what they ought to bell; but the necessary public will, and the resources for that, don’t exist right now.
But gains can be had there. The smarter and more canny the patient, in “handling” that staff and in “handling” the experience, the better the patient will do. (true sociopaths will game the system no matter what, anyway).
By “handling”, I mean “handling politically”. I think you understand.
You have the special situation of detox, and the aftermath. I don’t know anything about that, and don’t know how to gain resources to make that move toward success. I would presume the same levers might work, tho.
The other big advantage, which you seem to have much of already, is in-depth information. These fields mutate all the time, so it can be some work to keep up.
You want to know much of what your providers know. Not the details. You can’t replicate their educations, training, and careers.
You want to know at least in general the pitfalls, side-effects, alternatives, attitudes, philosophies. You want to be well-read and in the watch, all the while appearing on the surface to completely accept that
"they are here to help".
Think of it as a negotiation. Be as truthful as you can, given circumstances. Be as helpful as you can. be careful. Never show all your cards. Never show all your thoughts.
There are many exceptions to that. With really trustworthy providers. Esp after a long time in talk therapy, or with certajn care providers who have earned it.
Private care doesn’t require nearly the same caution. it’s possible to simply trust there, and profit by it.
Persons with less complex attitudinal personalities usually can get by with far less caution. for many patients, it makes a lot of sense to be honest and open.
I think you are already well-prepared to be wary.
@f00l
Jesus christ, lol.
It wasn’t your intention, but if I wasn’t hesitant, I would be now.
Which was the point, I believe.
I’ve read your thoughts and will have a bit of self reflection going in - as well an understanding of private vs public pay sectors.
I’m not one to speak up or act out - consider myself fairly under control there. I have to be.
I have great supports at this time. I don’t wish it, and will only come into play if my health is truely in jeopardy.
For now I’m going in expecting the worst (but not to show it through my attitude), but seeing that it can actually be a nice time of relaxation as well having the chance to hear stories and be thankful for what I have been given.
I wilp keep an open mind to your suggestions - tho I play the game, it’s nice to hear your thoughts as well.
What I really meant by having a way out was the people I know who are much higher up the food chain than anyone in this place. I’ve earned their respect through advocating for others (was in the nonprofit sector for 15 years). If shit goes down, they’re always a phone call away. I’m very fortunate to have peace in that.
@lysdexia
You’ve seen some if the worst this sort of system can deliver.
Most of the city and county facilities, and MHMR and similar, are in general benign-to-helpful.
Sometimes who needs what they offer and doesn’t have other options should use them. Altho someone who just needs an SSRI or the like might be better off getting it from an internist or GP.
Most of the problems patients will encounter at these city/county places are simply those of underfunded bureaucracies and employee burnout. Same as at the big public hospitals and other agencies. Same as at Code Compliance or Transportation.
But, once in a while, there are power trips, or a patient gets categorized in a way (either by diagnosis or by what’s in the Medical Record) that messes up their life, creates pressure toward inappropriate or harmful treatment, or otherwise stigmatises the patient.
Altho this is likely rare, this stuff can follow a patient around for years. Even if it’s wrong. And the human gets to be “seen” thru this “defective person” lens by new providers who read the records.
Also someone can get a rep as being a troublemaker or a problem, even the original issue was a rational protest against error and mismanagement, or if the patient was originally a just teenager in a difficult home situation.
The diagnosis or most attitudinal, behavior, and emotional states are a judgement calls, even when done well.
And the diagnosis can influence how the institution, family, friends, and future providers, or even the world at large view that person. Esp if records leak.
And, tho this is relatively rare, the diagnoses can bring stigma about the person’s see still worth in a way that a diagnosis of arteriosclerosis never will.
This usually doesn’t happen in private care settings at all now. And it is pretty rare in county/city/MHMR settings. But it can happen.
Also, the best way to get the best care in these settings is to bond with the providers. Their jobs are frequently, day-to-day, very difficult. (Impossible job, no funding, no resources, the needed social workers entirely unfunded).
These providers respond to finding people who like and respect them in the same way any other human would. The warm up. They try harder.
And they are likely to be more eager and responsive about taking the time to hand out far higher quality “how to live with this”-type info, about the condition, and how the patient might do better in dealing with various issues, if they like and respect the person.
Most middle-class-and-above patients, and those patients with a strong history of normal social integration and strong personal productivity will never get even a whiff of problems. They will be well-served (apart from the paperwork and the waiting).
Your risk here, it would seem to me, is that you were once in the state MH system. I hope the providers you are about to deal with have some common sense about that, and it doesn’t color how they see you. It shouldn’t. They ought to know that score.
I don’t think these local public facilities are “bad”. They are far better than they once were. They do good every day. Sometimes they go well beyond that.
I just think, as you do, that the whole area of city/county/MHMR behavioral services is a public asset to use when needed, and to be intelligent (rather than naive) about.
@lysdexia
I left a possible mis-impression.
I don’t advocate “liking” people for manipulative purposes. Most people who work in city/county MR are (or can be, given half a chance) very dedicated and likable people; tho some of them are burnt-out or have developed thick personal skins. No reason not to like them. And to find the best in them.
As for those few who, thru personal flaw, or arrogance, or error, could he damaging: I suppose I would be reserved, and as cordial or polite as I could justify.
I hope you encounter none of the latter.
@f00l I sit here tonight a broken soul.
For anyone in future circustances I urge you all, if nothing else, heed your thoughts.
Sorry to revive this. Will make a new thread tomorrow or possibly Monday.
Thank you my friend, and sincere apologies for my past arrogance.
No matter who or what you know, these public systems can lead to disaster.
Please pray for me, tho I believe in no higher being myself, if you read this. Thanks.
@lysdexia
In very sorry to read that things have not gone well.
I don’t mean to minimize being a broken human.
But … Being a broken human is usually a temporary thing. it can be very painful and the aftermath can be painful as well. And long. Very long.
you still have your brain. Your knowledge. Everything that has ever made you feel you mastered or understood anything at all.
You still have all the stuff in yourself that you like. I know sometimes that’s hard to remember. But I also know it’s there.
You so have whatever degree if free will we all possess.
So I “pray” this:
I hope you are less broken than you were 5 min ago or an hour ago. I hope you are less broken tomorrow than today. And that’s a start on something.
I don’t remember where I read this next: somewhere. But I think there is a good bit of academic serious validation for it?
The best attitude for life success: social, emotional, financial and career, in relationships, personally, intimate, casual, whatever
Is a light, realistic, occasionally lightly cynical, usually softly positive realistic optimism. And optimism prepared to endure a whole lotta failure along the way. One with good emotional control, both outwardly (so as not to be a fool or unable to see and learn) and inwardly (so as not to have ones energy sucked by emotion).
It’s a complex biz with lots of parameters. I’m no expert on it.
Basically, the deal is, in general, people with this attitude learn more, make better connections, are more tolerant of starting again after shattering failure, better at keeping going, more resilient, more creative about adjusting and remapping and replanning all the time, better at bringing things to completion. People like them and are more tolerant in them, etc etc etc.
And people with this attitude see far more opportunity far more easily and act upon those opportunities more efficiently.
My opportunity I don’t mean career. I mean everything. internal and external everything.
But someone wasnt born with that? Not in the genes? Not in the early years of imprinting? Human is Imprinted or constructed another way?
Here’s the cool thing.
It can be learned. Self taught even.
And individualized to your heart’s content.
Ok learning it is a bitch. Years. Except, you get better at it every day. So why not?
It is a lot of work. And in the beginning, you are about as good at it as the sound made by a 4 year old who just picked up their first violin and started playing, with no instructions.
In the beginning, learning this, one is as good as the most painful noise you ever heard. And that incompetence lasts for a while.
But it does give way. You get better at it. And then better.
I didn’t know any of this was possible by any means other than will power until just a few years ago. But I did a lot of previous reading around. So I want completely unprepared for the info.
And I picked it up in such random places that I don’t remember where.
(will power just gets you the appearance, or after a while, a bit better than that, but doesn’t dig that deep. To much simple self-discipline. Which is not what I am talking about)
The techniques kinda start with cognitive therapy. Which can be self taught and self applied and self innovated upon and self individualized very very nicely. As far as you wanna take it.
And if you have legit diagnoses, find out as much as you possibly can about them and what helps. Use this info. Keep learning. Keep using the info.
Use everything. What you are trying to is self reprogramming affirmative and innovative and useful overlays on top of whatever you’ve already got
You will fail. You will have to experiment. you will struggle. Fail some more. So much fail, so learn to enjoy it. And have a lot of success. More that you could have foreseen.
And you can just keep it going once you get good at it.
You can just keep piling on the innovations.
You can reach yourself how to do his and feel good about it according to the standards of your own ideals of what that means. So long as you are willing to read, to fall, to keep innovating and trying, never to quit, and to learn like a motherfucker.
For as long as your brain is capable of it.
I presume you would rather not be broken?
I don’t mean it’s all your doing if you are broken… Things are way more complicated than that.
And we don’t create our early lives. And bad things happen. And people go in less helpful directions and have to turn round.
I hope you find a way not to be broken. Over time if not this instant.
I think those paths are there for you.
Don’t mean to minimize what you are experiencing right now. Sometimes it’s just bad. Sometimes it’s gotta hurt or feel hopeless for a while.
I hope you hang in there.
Well folks, I’m going to have to leave the Ghoul Show for a while, I have a board meeting tonight and I’m already running late! Be sure and not leave any detail untold! We want to hear it ALL!
@therealjrn And I hope everyone at the board meeting has spectacular viruses that they share with you. It’s called trickle down, you know.
/giphy norovirus
@therealjrn
I hope it’s more than The Ghoul Show. I wanna know how people are doing, and what is and isn’t back to normal. And how things are looking up. Or not.
And what won’t be back to normal for a long time.
Now and then I have a little faith in my fellow humans. (strictly as a theoretical and academic exercise, of course.)
And somehow, I don’t think it would be better not to know.
@f00l Reality feels a whole lot more real when it’s not a 1 day reality show on cable news.
I appreciate the thread, especially knowing we have people on this board both living and with relatives still in the midst of these awful events.
Also thankful that we may not have people from other countries in civil wars / slavery / famine / whatnot. Don’t think I would want to read about that.
@lysdexia thanks for your reply…it helps knowing we haven’t been forgotten because most of the World has moved on ( i.e. hurricane devastation is old news) but this is still an unending nightmare for many people, like my parents.
@OldCatLady
So wait, first you people say trickle down doesn’t work, but it does work when wishing “ill” will on somebody? …huh.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
We didn’t make quorum (couldn’t have an official meeting) so instead we did some secret back-door deals instead. Can’t let the time go to waste!
:achoo!: :sniffle:
/dammit.
@f00l I agree and I know your heart…thank you for caring and starting this thread to ask about us…it’s not a ghoul show but rather a sad reality for many people devastated by Hurricanes, fires, mudslides, earthquakes, etc. It’s nice to know we aren’t forgotten as many days it feels that way. I must say the hotel we are staying in is great and it’s employees fantastic. However, of course, it still isn’t home…At least my parents home can be repaired but those who lost their homes in the fires in Ca. have nothing left to repair. That being said, I am praying for everyone here to have a great Christmas despite whatever circumstance they might currently find themselves in.
@AttyVette THAT’s a good attitude! I’m probably a little crabby today.
@therealjrn @AttyVette Agree completely. If not Christmas, even just a few minutes of laughter to realize you’re still alive and that things will get better - sometimes not to the point where you were originally but I believe we’re born able to adjust.
In the sadness brings reality and brings us all together in this sometimes senseless world full of heartbreak. We all are connected, we all know pain, loss and grief.
Just know we’re not alone, and know that we’re the most intelligent species on earth capable of processing these feelings. Thank whoever you want that we’re not a creature without these amazing abilities of consciousness.
*I need to smoke less herb at night.
@therealjrn
Ya think?!
Let’s see. When last heard from, I had blue roof tarps, some plastic walls, and bare concrete in the LR. Two weeks ago I got a completely new roof, which is gorgeous. Last week I got some drywall to replace the plastic, and mud coat #1. The flooring is under supplementary negotiation with the insurance company. I expect no further progress until January.
@OldCatLady praying for you and your situation…so,sorry you are having to deal with all of this
@AttyVette Compared to your parents’ situation, mine is nothing. My house has always been livable, and I have the leisure to talk with and sometimes supervise the restoration contractors. I am so very sorry for your trials now.
@OldCatLady thanks my friend as the saying goes— this too shall pass
I live about 35 miles from the train derailment.
If it turns out to be ‘human error’ because some idiot drove the train 80mph through a 30mph curve, that would piss me off…
And why Amtrack is too damn cheap to put speed control on trains is criminal. Even my Jeep nav unit lights up when I exceed the speed limit. (I hate that feature).
@daveinwarsh better than your nav lights lighting up when you have been hit by radar from a speed trap (grin). I take it you can’t turn it off/
@Kidsandliz It can turn it off. My wife likes looking over at the nav & seeing if I’m speeding.
On highways I usually drive over the speed limit.
@daveinwarsh I live 10 miles from the site of the derailment. What a nightmare that was. I’m amazed they got it cleared so quickly.
Houston-area people and Herman victims? @AttyVette?
How are things along the gulf? What’s up and running? What’s not, yet?
@f00l well I am still living in a fema hotel with dad and mom is still in a nursing/rehabilitation facility in Austin. My Birthday is tomorrow and I have now been living up here in a hotel going on 4 months! No nursing / rehab centers with vacancies are available in my hometown, as many were totally destroyed by Harvey floodwaters in Jefferson County. If I could find a place to take mom and put her in (that was close to my home), I would take dad home with me and put mom in it while their home is being repaired. However, mom now needs constant care and her health has deteriorated rapidly since their home was flooded by Hurricane Harvey. (Her birthday is coming up soon too on December 27). To top it off, we just found out that she needs colon surgery and drs up here aren’t sure she can survive the surgery. In the meantime, dad has been sick for the past few days and I had to take him to an urgent care place yesterday. He is running fever and doesn’t want to eat but I finally got him to eat a little chicken soup tonight.
So basically, things aren’t looking up yet, as my parents home still isn’t livable yet, mom needs surgery, and dad is sick. I know things could always be worse though. Brother went by their house today and said the contractor wasn’t working on their home today and we don’t know why. Cabinets are in the house but still need installing in kitchens and bathrooms, sinks and countertops need to be installed, the walls still need painting, carpet needs installing, new appliances need to be installed and so on. Thanks again for asking but that’s what’s going on regarding my family —oh and husband let me know a adjuster came out to look at our home and we discovered that we need a new roof on our home so we will have to do that soon
.
Thanks again for caring and asking about me and everyone else on meh … and I hope that I didn’t offend anyone by just stating what was going on with me and my parents right now…
@AttyVette How could anyone be offended?!
It takes a lot of heart to express what you just did so eloquently. I’m sure there were real tears while typing, and only hope that by sharing, you somehow feel a little better!
@AttyVette
That’s why I asked.
Didn’t wanted to lose all knowledge of where things were.
I know you/parents/family will do your best with this.
@lysdexia well a thread i started regarding there are worse things than not getting a fukuburro - I talked about a lot of the same things I am discussing here (regarding my parents). I was told that I wrote passive aggressive — still don’t understand that reasoning and still praying for that meh member who said that as they were really having a hard time and hates their life and stated so. People everywhere have problems just others don’t always know another person’s hidden pain.
@f00l
@fool said
Now I know why I mentioned the non-existent "Hurricane “Herman” instead of Harvey.
In the first place my memory is fit for the dumpster.
In the second place, I was “free”-associating off Hermann Hospital, where some people I know got some of their training.
Zero-state brain alert.
Just ignore. It’s normal.
Hey!
I can’t remember lotsa stuff!
Win-Win!
@f00l lol I knew what you meant and beside Harvey was also a Herman— like in the Munsters ( tv show) — as Harvey was a Munster of a storm
@AttyVette
@f00l specifically made a safe place to discuss these things, as said earlier.
Many people come to communities to have fun and be entertained - not to hear from downers in a fun thread. That’s just how it is, and you shouldn’t feel slighted for it or afraid to share - just know where to share, or else you will need to understand that some people would rather live under a rock and be happy than be enlightened and sad.
@lysdexia So…you didn’t read @AttyVette’s thread from before huh? Most of us here did, and supported her fully then, just as we are now. Thank you for sharing, every bit of support helps.
@therealjrn Can’t say I’ve been around lately, been feeling pretty depressed in between suicide attempts. So no, I didn’t.
But I didn’t mean to say that there aren’t nice understanding people out there, not at all. That’s just sort of the way I see communities, that goes all the way back to terminal/bbs discussions early 90’s. Sorry if it came out the wrong way.
@lysdexia
There are resources to help you wanna (really wanna) walk away from that.
One that might appeal to you, and that you can access without anything from the “med and physician industry”:.
You haven’t seen or understood it all yet, have you?
Think any of us has?
No young person could ever anticipate the depth and power of fundamental things people might know and deeply value decades later in life.
The same applies to people with many many decades on them.
It all can still astonish.
And the older we get, the more sheer unspoken guts we have.
Which is good. Because we will need them.
"Live and learn"
That just could be a privately practiced, intensely rewarding, personal life’s calling.
No danger there of running out of material.
@f00l maybe you were also thinking of Irma - the one that hit the Keys and came up through Florida
@AttyVette “… Harvey was also a Herman— like in the Munsters ( tv show) — as Harvey was a Munster of a storm…” That was really baaaad.
@llangley
Ha ha ha unlikely.
@OldCatLady “ munstering “ up a little levity in a bad situation my friend…my version of the Munster mash ( insert groan here——)
Medinah couple married 71 years die within minutes of each other
Made for each other.
No phrase better describes longtime Medinah residents Bob and Ruth Kretschmer, who died within minutes of each other Friday, five days after they celebrated their 71st wedding anniversary.
Ruth Kretschmer, a onetime Republican politician who chaired the DuPage County Board’s zoning committee and served 20 years on the Illinois Commerce Commission, had been in hospice for two years, said the couple’s daughter Roberta “Bobbi” Boston. Bob Kretschmer, a World War II veteran and two-time Purple Heart recipient, was diagnosed with cancer earlier this year, she said.
“They both wanted to die in this house and if my father went first, that wasn’t going to happen for my mother,” said Boston, her voice breaking. "He hung in there for her. After she passed away, he asked why everyone was crying, then he passed away.
“They worked it out between them, through the grace of God,” Boston said.
“The arc of their two lives, terminating as they did within 15 minutes, meant they were meant for each other in this life and the next,” said Bobbi’s husband Roy Boston, who was introduced to his wife by his late mother-in-law.
Few couples embody the “opposites attract” maxim better than the Kretschmers.
According to her daughter, Ruth Kretschmer was serious, proper, highly intellectual, an accomplished speaker and an avid reader. The Elmhurst native earned her Bachelor of Arts degree from DePaul University while in her fifties, attended classes at Harvard University’s John F. Kennedy School of Government and worked until age 81. An expert in regulatory matters, she was known as a serious, hardworking, fair-minded politician, Bobbi Boston said.
Addison Township Republican Chairman Pat Durante said Saturday it was quite a shock to hear about the death of Kretschmer and her husband. Ruth Kretschmer was dependable and willing to help the Republican Party whenever called on, said Durante who met her in 1965.
“She was always pleasant, kind and considerate,” he said.
Bob Kretschmer was the more fun-loving of the two, said Bobbi Boston who described her dad as the “life of the party.”
After lying about his age to enlist in the Army, Kretschmer “fought his way across Europe from Normandy to the Czech Republic,” wrote Roy Boston in his father-in-law’s obituary. Kretschmer wasn’t much for following rules, she said. Roy Boston recalled his father-in-law joking that he couldn’t count how many times he had been busted from sergeant to private.
After the war, the “jack-of-all-trades” worked for the railroad and a plastics company. A carpenter, Kretschmer built many houses, including theirs, and later served as a deputy with the DuPage County Sheriff’s Department, Roy Boston said. An avid golfer, Kretschmer played in a league through 2016 and played up until spring of this year, his daughter said.
Both enjoyed good food, which for Ruth meant any dessert with whipped cream, but had different ideas about what made up a healthy lifestyle.
Ruth ate right, took vitamins and exercised, said Roy Boston. Bob started smoking at age 13, said Boston, who also recalled his salt-loving father-in-law slathering a doughnut in butter and “salting it until it glistened.”
“He even put salt in his beer,” Roy Boston said.
But the Bostons say those differences made for a happy marriage rooted in their love for their family; passion for travel; affection for animals – including the Irish setters, rooster, horse, goat and raccoon who shared their home – and their enduring love for each other.
In addition to Bobbie and Roy Boston, survivors include the couple’s daughter Ruth Koenig and her husband Paul, and son David Kretschmer and his wife, Maria, along with 12 grandchildren and 10 great-grandchildren.
The visitation is from 3 to 9 p.m. Sunday, Dec. 17, at Salerno’s Rosedale Chapel, 450 W. Lake St., Roselle. The funeral is at 10 a.m. Monday, Dec. 18, at Trinity Lutheran Church, 405 S. Rush St., Roselle.
@therealjrn
Ty.
@therealjrn yes thanks for sharing that post…
I went to prison for 18 months, just got out. That’s a pretty terrible incident. The good news is I’ve still got a whole bunch of those American Lighting LED Rope/Tape Hybrid Lights that I bought in October of 2015! I actually still also have about half of the Built NY assorted tablet cases (bought 90) from January 12, 2015. I love meh!
@LukeNukemeh Welcome back to the world. I used to work for the DOC. You already know, keep your head down, keep your PO appointments. Take some little shit job until you get off paper, unless you’re one of the lucky ones who has a job lined up. We’re a pretty resourceful crowd, even if it is just a “forum” so write in if you hit a rough patch or situation.
@therealjrn Thank you for the comment and advice, I’m doing my best to stay out here in the real world. I’m raising a boy so he keeps me motivated, and I’m fortunate enough to make a comfortable living reselling awful products I buy from places like meh.com.
@LukeNukemeh glad you got out…@therealjrn is giving you excellent advice as things happen but you can overcome the difficulties in life ahead of you still. We are always here, as meh is a place to joke around in BUT it is also a place where we can have serious conversations here as well. We are all pulling for you…
@LukeNukemeh
Yea, sorry I missing replying earlier. Glad you spoke up.
Every fucking day is another chance, right? Hope you have a lot if opportunities for good connections.
I hope no one tries, (possibly out if the “best motives”, ugh), to make you feel worthless.
Glad you and that kid got each other.
@lydexsia please seek help for the various issues/problems that are overwhelming you in your life right now. Living our lives, even with its terrible hardships, can still be good after all. I knew a young woman, that had a husband who adored her and three precious children. She, however, struggled with depression off and on for several years. Unfortunately, one day, she ended her own life and the pain caused to her adoring family many, many years later, has never gone away. But in the throes of this young woman’s depressed state, she didn’t see what her death would do to her family. That is a true nightmare that never goes away, as homes and cars can be replaced as it’s just “stuff’. However, ones life is a precious gift from God and no one can ever replace that person’s life.
I just watched “It’s a Wonderful Life “ on tv just the other night and I am glad I did. It brought tears to my eyes because the story in that movie still is true today—how different the world would be if you had never been in it. God wanted you here as you do have a purpose and a plan for your life. Please continue to fight negative feelings and get help fir the issues you face. I, and others here and elsewhere, are praying for you.
@AttyVette
Thank you. I’m on that path, and sensationalized the suicide comment.
Suicide is not the topic to play around with, and we likely all can relate to that.
It was a miswording meant to be a bit offensive. The true meaning behind it was the things that I’ve done to make a bad situation worse - leading to my visit to the ER due lack of meds.
Appreciate your thoughts and will need them, I fear, during the inpatient detox and rehab process.
@lysdexia
Thx for clarification. Appreciate a bit of less worry.
@lysdexia yes appreciate you letting us know you are ok …praying for you still!
@f00l update from my birthday today —- nursing/rehab center called me today as Mom fell at 5 am. Dad is still sick but he wanted to go see her so we went and checked on her this morning. I then took dad back to the hotel so he could lay down. He told me he felt too bad to go eat lunch and for me go eat lunch by myself. Therefore, I went and ate lunch before stopping by Walgreens to get him a thermometer ( as he said he felt like he as running a fever). In the meantime, Dad called me and said he had fallen in the hotel bathroom and had to crawl to the bedroom to find his cellphone
to call me to come back to the hotel. I rushed back here but He refused to go to the ER although he has a big knot on his head! All I can say is please keep praying for us!!
@f00l and the saga continues —-dad fell again tonight
@AttyVette Please let us know how you and your parents are today. We worry.
@OldCatLady sorry I have been away a little while - went home for Christmas as kids and grandkids came in. Took dad home with me for a few days. Back up in Round Rock area now- very depressing as the hotel is nice but it isn’t home
@AttyVette How is rebuilding coming?
@OldCatLady well the contractor just texted me and said the carpet will be installed tomorrow — so fingers are crossed that progress will continue on their home — I hate living five hours from home in a fema hotel even though it’s a nice hotel .All I wanted for Christmas was to be able to stay home in my own home— didn’t get my wish
@OldCatLady well just dropping in to say hi…still in Round Rock…still waiting for parents home to be repaired…still trying to find a nursing home close to my home OR parents home to get mom in, as she needs to be seen by her doctor for a referral for surgery near her home ( and not do the surgery up here as we would be here until she was well enough to get out of the hospital). It just doesn’t end…never in my wildest dreams did I imagine living away from home since August last year. It could be worse so I thank God that it isn’t worse than it is. Hope your home is being repaired and all is well with you.
@AttyVette Thanks for checking in. You’ve been incredibly patient and hardworking, and sooner or later things have to improve. No change here.
@OldCatLady thanks for the sweet response… carpet wasn’t installed properly in some areas of the home (per brother) and they were suspposedly out there again today to correct the problem. Major aggravated at brother though, as contractor hasn’t replaced the (container store) closets so my parents won’t have closets where they can hang up their clothes or put up things on closet shelves. The container store installed all the hardware in these closets and it was all removed when Sheetrock was torn out of the home. Asked brother why he hasn’t made sure this was done and he said they didn’t need that right now ( really has anyone heard of someone wanting to eventually move back into a home that has no closets where they can hang up their clothes?). Dad was hoping to move back home in a week and have mom in an assisted living home while waiting to get rest of the house livable but dad needs a LIVABLE place! Sorry for venting but I am angry he thought this was ‘acceptable’.
So I don’t know what to do, as I am up here 3 hours from their home and brother lives only 1 and 1/2 miles away from the home! Sigh…sorry your situation hasn’t changed
Here I sit with my ‘I miss my dog’ sweatshirt. On Shadow’s last day with me he saved me from carbon monoxide. The detector went off and he herded Kota and me out of the house. Never mind that it was just signaling end of life of the device. He never did that when the smoke detectors sounded while cooking dinner.
@looseneck Awe, did something happen to your wonderful doggie so he’s not around any more? Curious, are you deaf and that’s why you had the dog signal you?
I have CO2 detectors mainly because I have generators that I use once or twice a year. I know they use a chemical process for detection so they don’t last forever (unlike a smoke detector). I’d sure like to know how to tell it’s time to replace them as I don’t see any visual cue. Do they just stop detecting or will they begin chirping once every 5 minutes or so? Hmm… Perhaps if I find the motivation one day, I’ll read the manual.
@cengland0 When my CO detector expired it displayed a code. I don’t remember what it was. I googled the manufacturer and code and it came up. I think 10 years is max.
@looseneck sorry for the loss of your hero dog— I know you miss him as pets are family members too !!!
@cengland0 No, I’m not deaf. Shadow just loved his mommy so much that he sensed this was a different kind of alarm and he needed to keep me safe. He died that night from what we believe was a stroke. He was 10 years old and had no health issues that we were aware of.
The CO2 detector was chirping about once a minute. We had just moved into the house and it looked old - hence my reasoning it was letting me know to get a new one. The numbers were changing as I looked at it but I didn’t feel any CO2 effects - no headache or feeling sleepy.
The other one we have says to replace after 10 years but it doesn’t have a date on it so we replaced that one too.
@looseneck Thanks for the CO2 info. Sorry to hear about your dog. It’s hard to lose a pet. I love animals except things like snakes and spiders.
I currently have a pet bird that might live 30 years so he could survive longer than me. I’m hoping so because I don’t think I’ll handle his passing well.
@looseneck
<Smile>.
Tho it hurts a bit. Glad your family included him.
Can anyone within the range of the recent CA fires, or who has friends and family there, give us an update about what it’s like to live in current conditions?
what are the odds?? when i bumped into what i’m really want to know
@lytong 15:1