Dad Jokes for Days!!!!!!
19/giphy ba dum tsss
Well at least she’ll be able to signal my weakness from her room. I had to post this separately from the thread because it was a massive act of kindness and makes me love this community even more. @ciabelle Got the junior drum kit in their irk and was kind enough to gift it to my daughter. I was attempting to get @Kidsandliz to ship me one to Oregon. @ciabelle wound up being right up the road and now I have the noisiest, happiest number three ever there was! She’s been playing them since I set them up. I can’t wait to sound proof the garage and get them in there once we start moving things to the new shop. @ciabelle Definitely going to make something as a thank you because you’re amazeballs!
I’m just sad that I was rushing around so much. I wanted to get a photo with you and totally spaced. Sometime in the future! Thank you thank you thank you so much!!!
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Oh I’m so glad it worked out.
@Star2236 so is number three. She was supposed to wait for her birthday in June but the Englishman couldn’t wait.
He’d told her about it when I was driving up to Washington. She cleaned her room in record time!
@sillyheathen
That’s what I thought.
@sillyheathen @Star2236
Motivation is an amazing thing!
So glad you got one. And yours is blue. Mine is red. I think blue is nicer. I still don’t know what I will be doing. This would have cost a fortune to ship across country so that they were nearly local is great!
That’s amazingly cool, and right up there with when @djslack generously sold me his IRK-derived e-bike for a pittance, and met me halfway to hand it off. (I can’t ride it right now, but I can’t wait to be back on it late this summer.)
That’s super cool.
That sense of community is what keeps me paying $5 a month to remain a VMP. I think there are a lot of amazing people on this forum and it’s definitely a bright spot in the world.
I found this to be a very heartwarming thread, so good on ya!
That said, I was also very disappointed not to find any dad jokes here…
E.g.:
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6-year-old son wasn’t actually mine.
Then she said that I need to pay more attention at his after-school pick ups.
What do you call Willy Wonka’s attractive wife?
Arm Candy
I tried to childproof my house
But the kids keep getting back in.
A man walks into a pet store and asks for a dozen bees. The clerk carefully counts 13 bees out onto the counter.
“That’s one too many!” says the customer.
The clerk replies “It’s a freebie”
AKA- A baker’s buzzin, or a hive-price offer
It was a honey of a deal!
Wife: trying to open a can of tuna:
"Our can opener is broken.
Husband: So it’s a can’t opener?
Wife: I can’t believe I married you.
Someone broke in my house last night and stole some eggs and left a pot of warm water
Cops think it might be poachers.
They were some hard-boiled criminals…
This is what high egg prices have done.
But, it dozen have to be this way!
The whole situation is eggs-cruciating.
Thankfully, the cops have been scrambling, and soon they may crack the case wide-open.
So hopefully, they may not be left with egg on their faces.
When my wife was in labor, I told her jokes to distract her from the pain.
But she didn’t laugh at all.
Maybe it was the delivery?
Did you hear about the lute-playing sheepherder?
He’s a barnyard yarn bard.
Mountains aren’t just funny.
They’re hill areas.
…and the peak of humor.
PSA: never point out your wife’s poor life choices because one of them may have been you.