Checkout.org & Synapse / Woot / Mediocre culture
25We’re previewing our future plans with Checkout.org
over at our Mediocre Labs forum (see link below) and
I thought I’d give folks a heads up here (and a timeline!)
I went to a Neil deGrasse Tyson talk back last month and really enjoyed it. He’s a compelling storyteller for an astrophysicist. His introduction highlighted that you don’t know your own culture and can only observe the culture of others. Others have sometimes claimed that I was good at building company culture, so Neil’s intro got me thinking about what I don’t know due to immersion. It may have clarified some value that I’ve often neglected. I’ve always had no answer to how we built our culture.
Jumping references here, you know that kids song about the little old lady who swallowed a fly? That type of verse is fittingly called a ‘cumulative’. I would propose that we are a company culture built in the same action style - ignorant of how these steps are shaping our culture because of immersion. Of course with each future step we could be hitting the verse where we swallow a horse and die but it’s all fun until then.
Here’s a cumulative breakdown of culture building to this Checkout.org plan (along with a handy smiley-guide):
1994: Founded a distributor (Synapse Micro) to buy closeouts and sell them wholesale
▽
1999: Mom-and-pop retailers went out of business so we expanded to internet retailers
▽
2001: Internet retailers went out of business so we expanded to big-box retailers
▽
2003: Struggling with a dwindling number of big-box retailer customers pushing us around
▽
2004: We reluctantly opened a very limited retail store, woot.com
▽
2006: Amazon invested
▽
2010: Amazon bought woot
▽
2012: Turns out being a real retailer does suck, so most of us left
▽
2013: Founded a distributor (Mediocre) to buy
closeouts and sell them wholesale
▽
2014: We opened a very limited store named for how we feel about retail, meh.com
▽
2015: Facebook and other networks dominate internet socialization and traffic
▽
2016: We started MorningSave.com to sell our closeouts to other media audiences
▽
2016: Turns out we’ve gotten too close to being retailers again and it sucks
▽
2017: We’re launching Checkout.org to deconstruct what it means to be a retailer
More on the checkout.org plan preview over on the Mediocre Labs Forums where I’ll answer questions about it.
As far as conversation here (meh centric), we’ll have a bit more to discuss later in the week. This was the boring update to lay the groundwork.
- 33 comments, 131 replies
- Comment
@Snapster, I am excited to learn more about the future.
Oh, and
@conandlibrarian I’m curious: You’re both a con and a librarian?? Sounds like a story there. How did you get there?
@phendrick @Irk named me.
@conandlibrarian I was being facetious; didn’t realize that had been done before by @irk.
I take it your user name is a take-off on Conan the Barbarian, when parsed a little differently?
@phendrick watch UHF
Change scares me.
@Barney Me too, that’s why I am trying to put a big smile on my face.
@Barney I agree.
/giphy change is scary
@Barney I concur. But there was a time before we were all here at Meh. Back then, many of us were on Woot. There was a time before we were all at Woot. Back then many of us were on (the Facebook? MySpace? Usenet? Still had IRL social lives?). There will be life after Meh. It will be interesting to see what that will be…
@ruouttaurmind Don’t try to reason with me, it won’t work.
/giphy angel of death
@Barney you called?
@RiotDemon Haha. There might be work for you later…
@ruouttaurmind
@RiotDemon
@Barney
@conandlibrarian
Before Deals.Woot and Meh I read and listened to more books.
@f00l Yep, me too. That’s my Plan B now.
@f00l Do you ever check your email?
@f00l I interacted with people IRL more. Don’t want to do that again.
@ruouttaurmind Ditto.
@Barney
Email procrastination in progress for the last few days, due to real life clusterfuck overload and allergies. Nothing serious, just hassles and sneezing.
I know stuff is there. Apologies, soonish.
@f00l Nothing important. Don’t worry about it.
@snapster: I do not like this. I do not like it at all, not one tiny little bit. The screen is also still too wide.
Please don’t take my entertainment away. You will make me so sad. I logged into Checkout.org with my account. Thank you for keeping all that account info from one place to the next. I’m lazy, and it’s nice to have at least that one thing consistent.
Please consider selling some vermeil; that’s not so expensive (in comparison to some other things), and I like it. Any stones have to be real (I can be content with CZs though), and I prefer earrings and rings and bracelets over necklaces. NO CULTURED PEARLS. Do not like.
Thank you.
@Shrdlu ha thanks I do enjoy your input. The dream is the reinvigoration of the classic daily deal experience by creating our own traffic flows, replacing what the open web can no longer muster.
I guess it’s necessary to identify that I’m saying Meh itself needs to grow to a larger size to be as exciting as Woot was to run. I know that’s not the same thing as your enjoyment of the community it is now. I aim to have both your enjoyment and mine (/our employees)
What’s selling over there is completely ignorable. From a Meh perspective we need to filter for and recruit the smartest audience to join us.
@Shrdlu
@snapster is either saying that he doesn’t like us (anymore), or that we’re not the smartest audience.
/giphy facepalm
@snapster
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@snapster
@shruggie huh?
I took that to indicate mehtizens are smart folks, @snapster just needs more of them/us(?) to get the proper economies of scale.
Perhaps I’m delusional.
@RedOak @snapster
Missed this phrase. I only saw the part about recruiting the smartest audience.
@RedOak yes exactly thanks. @shruggie no problem.
@snapster
To this:
Or to:
?
@RedOak I was affirming the latter. I suppose that doesn’t preclude the former also being true.
@snapster
I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says, like dumb! I’m smart, and I want respect!
PS
Haven’t finished reading this topic and figured out what is up yet, @snapster, but you are scaring the shit outta me.
@RedOak He also likely needs to get more of us to not be dead beat customers, more of us to recruit customers through external posts about meh, and more of us to maintain a community that serve as a pull to get more people to wander by each day for the community and then also see what is for sale (after all you won’t buy if you don’t know what is for sale…) LOL
@Kidsandliz
The best way to turn a “dead beat” into a regular buyer is good deals!
I’d guess @snapster’s happiness factor with meh would be pretty wonderful with at least 5, 10 even better, times the traffic. 50K is nice but not serious scale.
@RedOak well yes that is true (good deals) and there are only so many speaker docks, knives, etc. one can use… but just because you build it doesn’t mean they will come. They have to know it is here first.
@Kidsandliz
Etc etc
Happy to have the visitor/buyer base grow, just so long as it doesn’t all start sucking.
@snapster, please please please:
Let us keep our Happy Corner, that special place where @mfladd comes to enjoy being miserable, and the rest of us are so very supportive of his quest.
@Shrdlu
Love vermeil. To look at, never owned any.
Know nothing of pearls. Own none. Have worn exactly none. Jewelry and I are a problematic mix.
What’s wrong with cultured pearls?
@RedOak I like money.
@shruggie Meh.be he is saying both
@f00l that Fredo graphic is so so super cool.
It appears that Morningsave and Checkout will be actual retail sites without us asshats around to chase people off. We will left here like abandoned children to do as we want as long as we don’t get in the way.
@mfladd
So let me get this straight.
@KittySprinkles and yourself talk and scare people off.
▽
@snapster decides to shift the plan to MorningSave and Checkout in order to get “smart” people.
▽
Profits are increased through those sites.
In a way, Checkout is thanks to you and @KittySprinkles.
It seems to me that you should ask for a percentage of those profits since you won’t be able to scare people off, and Checkout seems to be because you scare people off.
@mfladd
/giphy lord of the flies
@mfladd
Do as we want? Hmmm think of the possibilities…Perhaps meh.com will become this? (unless of course he deletes this site - hey @snapster - will you be deleting/discontinuing meh.com? If yes I better get in gear fast to finish setting up the mehrican exchange so it can be finished prior to this site’s demise)
@Barney Great minds think alike. Yours though is better then mine. LOL
@Kidsandliz I didn’t choose it.
@Barney
Second day in a row where you get an interesting result from the bot.
(Yesterday)
@Barney True - but you kept it : )
@Kidsandliz I wasn’t considering any changes to Meh until I started hearing about how much everyone would love that. Such great ideas coming in to have fun with.
@snapster
Mehmbers are full of them.
@mfladd going back to your post it’s actually the opposite. I’ll want help with a small amount of awareness about Meh / “our collective culture” on the members-only sections of those sites. That part of the initiative will become more clear shortly.
@snapster If I were you, I would vote @mfladd off the island first. (followed by @KittySprinkles)
@snapster
Does it have anything to do with this?
@shruggie YES! Thank you for posting that.
@mfladd Forgive the low quality video, but looks like they got a shot if you actually leaving the island
@snapster Wait, does this mean I finally get my Beta Tester badge from Deals? Whoo-hoo!
Oh, no, that’s probably not what you meant at all. I want to play at this though. Don’t leave me out. :-{
I’ll even buy something, if that’s a requirement…
@KittySprinkles Don’t think I wont be back.
@snapster Speaking of that post, what did you think of the idea I posted here: https://meh.com/forum/topics/lets-work-together-for-the-betterment-of-meh#58af7491787b36030800c645 in response to your post there?
@mfladd We’ll know where to find you
@KittySprinkles @mfladd
I can’t imagine why @snapster is planning member-only forums for Checkout.
@KittySprinkles Wait till it’s my turn, bitch…
@mfladd There are many images/gifs in this thread that make me want to spank the monkey.
Some more than others.
@snapster why? Why, oh, why do you have to make changes in March? Can you not wait until I am no longer scapegoat? OR are the changes going to be so great that I will get no more blame?
Alternatively, if you delete meh as @mfladd suggested, could you do it sooner rather than later?
@mikibell Oh no, you don’t escape any of the blame. You have not suffered nearly enough.
@mikibell
March is 31 days.
@f00l and April 1 falls on a Saturday…got it!
@OldCatLady careful, or I will mail irk back to you…hmm wonder if they have a matching m and another i…;)
@mikibell I’m quiet. This is me, being quiet. See?
@OldCatLady
@shruggie Full of it
@El_Oel
I said what I meant and I meant what I said.
@shruggie
@snapster What no Amazon gift cards??
Do we get free socks?
@thismyusername Or maybe we get fuku’s instead of fuko’s?
I’m clearly not the brightest as I can’t even figure out what is for sale over there.
Good luck @snapster and all staff. I truly want you all to do well.
▽▽▽▽▽
/image illuminati confirmed
△△△△△
Sort-of-related: is there or could there be a way I can sign in one and be signed in on all Mediocre sites? I feel like that would make me more inclined to check out the other properties regularly. @Shawn?
@jqubed there is a technique and in fact we actually planned/coded to implement it and then realized it scales poorly. It involves sending your browser on a bar-hopping round-robin login refresh route that you’d not notice much. Shawn found Google actually does it for the YouTube domain but it’s too clunky and node dependent to do it with a larger number of domains.
@snapster
FWIW, when I am logged into Amazon w a given browser, I am not necessarily logged into Audible or Woot.
So our fav novelty-breakfast-curious-billionaire hasn’t implemented cross-domain login yet in full either.
TL;DR
Amazon is buying Meh
@snapster Seriously though, I think your story is really interesting and enjoyed the post. The Breakfast Octopus story is, by far, my favorite.
I find it sad to read that you are having regrets about being “retailers” again. What does this mean for the future of Mediocre, or more specifically, Meh.com?
@capguncowboy What I actually mean to describe is that Meh is exactly the greatest extent of a fully-formed retailer that I can enjoy. A “reluctant retailer.” Like Woot in 2007. This isn’t universal amongst all our employees or all of you of course but I get more say.
I think Checkout.org will help break down promoter vs retailer roles and this deconstruction also helps find the enjoyable components.
TL;DR
Meh is destroying Amazon lol
@snapster I’m glad you’re still enjoying yourself then. I like the current formula. While my say might weigh zero, I like to pretend that it should be very heavily weighted anyway.
@capguncowboy keep agreeing with me and we will be fat and happy. Or well, our opinions strongly weighed.
@snapster
I could go for a wine.meh. Although perhaps that market is already well-served?
And then I would have to start drinking what I buy, instead of looking at it and going “Hmmmm.”
/image cabernet
@f00l If we’re going to do wine.meh, I want more things like Chocovine rather than normal bottles.
@snapster It’s payback time.
@dashcloud I want some Cockamamie wine, which apparently is sold out. Hoping it returns someday. I like the name, even if the wine sucks.
I’m excited for the future. I don’t like change, though, so as long as the meh.com formula stays intact I think I’ll be ok
Those of you commenting on fear of change and losing what you value
Read or watch a video on “Who moved my cheese” (short, enough illegal sites have the entire booklet online and several good animated videos and several not so good)… you might find that interesting… (or not).
@Kidsandliz
We like to bitch.
@f00l And I don’t like cheese.
I’m not sure what this is all about, but @snapster has a pretty good track record so far, so I’ll just sit back and enjoy the ride.
It’s a dream of mine to have a place like Meh, so I’m having a wonderful time reading this, (hey, maybe write a book about it?), and learning as much as I can.
In 2012, after you sold Woot to Amazon you said “Being a real retailer sucks”, were you still working at Woot after you sold it? I thought you just took the check and left, but you must have stayed under some capacity and that makes sense when you say it sucked. How ‘good’ amazon is, it makes sense that would be the most sucked of the sucks. I’ll have to read this a few more times. Wow, I’m such an outsider here, as opposed to how deep you can go into the Mind of Meh. I’ll check out the other sites more, consider dropping my VMP, and try to get up to speed–today–versus "Tomorrow"
Fascinating.
I wonder if you have any regrets about selling Woot.
@wew yes, I had to accept a 3 year contract to stay on as CEO post purchase. There was both good and bad but I knew in advance it would be too boring and it was. There was also a lot more office-politics than I realized and many Amazon employees take their energy from (or lose it in) that fight versus significant consumer innovation.
I generally also feel that it was distasteful once you get into demographics and wallet-share metric driven aspects of retail, but I’m not pushing that opinion on anyone else.
@snapster reading glassdoor comments about amazon is interesting… sounds like they use some less than optimal mgt practices and some employees and some managers aren’t all that happy about some of them. Just based on what I read there I can see why one might not want to work there, never mind issues particular to your situation.
@Kidsandliz
I have met a few people who worked there, and left to protect their sense of being a human of worth, or a sense genuine achievement.
@snapster Amazon operating as a money losing entity for years probably made them extremely numbers driven, which was opposite to how Woot worked. Not that anyone had any idea how Woot worked anyway. But that was the beauty of it – and Amazon did NOT understand. At all.
Hence, the purchase …
I wasn’t around in the early days, but as I understood, it basically boiled down to:
I do appreciate that such carried on over here, but I’m also well aware that there’s a finite audience as “daily deals” is ubiquitous with many other retailers nowadays too.
@narfcake on both points, it is no surprise that Woot’s most profitable year was 2009.
@snapster Thanks for reply. Yep makes complete sense to say "We’ll buy, but we want to suck the brains for awhile."
And unrelated/related, I’d like to see the dinosaur posts and raise it by APODS photo of the day, (A widget I just love, that sends you an APOD wallpaper every day). The tardigrade (mar 26, 2017) !! enjoy
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/astropix.html
@wew Thanks for reminding me of that site. This photo is seriously amazing
https://apod.nasa.gov/apod/ap170320.html
It’s a pretty big meh world out there.
Neat.
@snapster
Re: Neil deGrasse Tyson
You can’t know your own culture in any objective way because you are immersed in your personal creative iteration of that culture’s POV. You have no idea, nor any theoretical means of measuring, what you are missing.
You can’t know other cultures because you are not immersed, you understand only from the outside, and your information capture is relatively and inevitably thin and sparse, and you have no means of measuring or accounting for what you’re missing.
Fun fun! And despite that, knowledge is no more pointless than anything else.
I half read and still don’t understand.
@DrunkCat That’s a relief. I was hoping I didn’t have to do more than scan a few sentences to fully not understand it.
@snapster
/youtube fun fun fun til daddy took the t-bird away
I do not like
Green egss
And ham!
I do not like them,
Sam-I-am.
You do not like them.
So you say.
Try them! Try them!
And you may.
Try them and you may I say.
Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try them.
You will see.
Say!
I like green eggs and ham!
I do! I like them, Sam-I-am!
And I would eat them in a boat!
And I would eat them with a goat.
And I will eat them in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
They are so good so good you see!
So I will eat them in a box.
And I will eat them with a fox.
And I will eat them in a house.
And I will eat them with a mouse.
And I will eat them here and there.
Say! I will eat them anywhere!
I do so like
Green eggs and ham!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am
@KDemo I don’t like green eggs and ham either, and you can’t make me.
@KDemo
Ego Daniel,
Ego sum Sam
Sam ego sum
Ut-I Sam-am
Ut I Sam-am!
Non amo
Ut-I Sam-am
Tibi placet
Viridia Ova atque Perna
Non illos,
Sam-I-am.
Non amo
Viridia Ova atque Perna.
Would vos amo eos
Non est hic?
Non quasi eis
Hic et ibi.
Non quasi eis
Usquam.
Non amo
Viridia Ova atque Perna.
Non illos,
Sam-I-am
Would vos amo eos
In domum?
Would vos amo eos
Cum mus?
Non sicut hæc,
In a domus.
Non sicut hæc,
Cum mus.
Non sicut hæc,
Hic et ibi.
Non sicut hæc,
Usquam.
Viridia Ova atque Perna non placet.
Non sicut haec, ego, ego Sam.
Would vos manducare
In a buxum?
Would vos manducare
Cum vulpes?
Non in arca.
Non vulpes.
Non est in domum suam.
Non mus.
Hic vel ibi non edebam.
Cum hoc non edebam possent.
Viridia Ova atque Perna cum hoc non edebam.
Non sicut haec, ego, ego Sam.
Quis tu? Numquid tu?
In raedam?
Comedite eas; Comedite eas;
Hic sunt.
Nolo,
Non poterat,
In a car
Ut, sicut illis.
Videbis.
Ut, sicut illis
In ligno?
Nolo illam arborem.
Non in currum! Tibi me est.
Non placet eis in arcam.
Non est his similis vulpes
Non sicut hæc in domo
Mus eum non placet
Non placet hic ecce illic.
Ut non possent.
Viridia Ova atque Perna non placet.
Non sicut haec, ego, ego Sam.
A comitatu! A comitatu!
A comitatu! A comitatu!
An vos, quod vos,
In agmine?
Non in comitatu! Non in ligno:
Non in currum! Sam! Adde me!
Nolo, non in arca.
Non potui, ne cum vulpes.
Non comedetis eas muris
Non comedetis eas in domum.
Hic ego hodie non manducabo neque illic.
Manducare non possent.
Non sicut haec, ego, ego Sam.
Dic!
In tenebris?
Hic in tenebris!
Utinam vos potuistis in tenebris?
Nolo potuerunt
In tenebris.
Quis te, et potui,
Et facta est pluvia?
Nolo, non in aqua.
Non in tenebris. Non in comitatu,
In curru, sed magis sub arbore.
Non sicut hæc Sam tibi.
Non est in domum suam. Non in arca.
Non mus. Non vulpes.
Hic ego hodie non manducabo neque illic.
Ut non possent?
Non sicut
Viridia Ova atque Perna?
Non facio
Ut eos,
Sam-I-am.
Numquid et vos, vultis,
Cum capra?
Nolo,
Et non poterat.
Cum capra?
Quis te, et potui,
In naviculam?
Non potui, ne in navi.
Nolo nolo cum capra.
Non comedes in pluvia personabunt.
Nunc non potero manducare ex his erant.
Non quasi in tenebris; Non in ligno:
Non in currum! Et tu in me:
Non placet eis in arcam.
Non est his similis vulpes.
Non comedetis eas in domum.
Non amo illos mus.
Non placet hic ecce illic.
Ut non possent?
Non amo
viridi egss
Et ham!
Non illos,
Sam-I-am.
Et non sicut illos.
Et tu dicis.
Try eis! Try eis!
Et vos.
Conantur et dicam eis.
Sam!
Si dimittis me,
Et probabo eos.
Videbis.
Dic!
Viridia Ova atque Perna velim!
Ego! Ut eis I Sam-am!
Et non comedit in navi;
Et capra cum ederet.
Et comedetis eas in imbrem.
Et in tenebris. Et in comitatu.
Et in a car. Et in ligno.
Ita bonum bene videtis
Idcirco convertar, et comedetis eas in arca.
Et comedetis eas in vulpes.
Et comedetis eas in domum.
Et comedetis eas mus.
Et hic et ibi comedite eas.
Dic! Et comedetis eas usquam!
Sicut et ego
Viridia Ova atque Perna!
Gratias tibi!
Gratias tibi,
Sam-I-am
@f00l 나는 다니엘이다.
샘입니다
샘 나는있다.
그 샘 - 나는 - 오전
그 샘 - 나는 - 오전!
나는 싫어한다.
그 샘 - 나는 - 오전
너 좋아하니?
초록색 달걀과 햄
나는 그들을 좋아하지 않는다.
샘 - 나는 - 오전.
나는 싫어한다.
초록색 달걀과 햄.
그들을 원하니?
여기 아니면 저기?
나는 그들을 좋아하지 않을 것이다.
여기 저기에.
나는 그들을 좋아하지 않을 것이다.
어딘가에.
나는 싫어한다.
초록색 달걀과 햄.
나는 그들을 좋아하지 않는다.
샘 - 암
@f00l is it bad that I recognized enough words to translate this without knowing the topic? Wow, the things I have forgotten…
Amo Amamus
Amas amatis
Amat amant
@zachdecker yeah…no…nothing familiar there
@zachdecker The site is going to be in Korean? Nooooooo!
@mikibell
Got 3 years of it once. All I remember now are a few word derivations and Latin catchphrases. And of those I am usually uncertain.
Your memory is better than mine.
@f00l yup 3 years of Latin, 4 years of Spanish, and 2 years of German… I can still say the Hail Mary in Latin and the Our Father in Spanish… the rest… derivations basically…
/giphy be afraid
/giphy roll
@somf69
That guy never gets tired.
@snapster
Is this essentially meant to be a competitor to BigCommerce or Shopify? Or is this something more?
Edited to say that I don’t understand it. It’s a mystery to me.
From today’s (long in coming) Mediocre labs newsletter:
That existed? Wouldn’t have used it anyway - much prefer to wall off - to the extent possible in this cookie/etc… tracking age - different places.
Not that I don’t completely trust meh.com. Really.
And soon . . .
A bag of dicks by any other name . . . (is still a bag of dicks)
I get where you’re going with this, @Snapster, but from experience (and something which I know you’re acutely aware), everything is a reboot.
I’ll be interested to follow along and see how the “deconstruction” doesn’t lead you full circle – which is my sincere hope. I have always had a profound sense of respect for your (and @Dave’s and a few others at Mediocre) instincts.
Myself, I have come to realize that a nest egg and free time suit me much better than endless hours in an edit or render bay. I’ll leave the sea change to someone else.
Wishing you all the best in the new endeavor.
@Pavlov I don’t think I’ve defined what I don’t like about retail very well but a large part of it is pushing a brand on people telling them they need to visit you. So, while I laugh, I hope not to be holding this figurative bag in 2018.
@snapster I dislike retail that does not sell itself. I hate the need to “sell” a product and or a hard sell.
If I shop, either I have a need so I will buy something or I see something and think “cool, fun, whatever the current word is” and look closer. Then I am looking at cheap - just buy it or mid-range and up - a little more thought but maybe.
When I look at Meh, I am mostly looking for fun. It is not likely I need something, can wait the ship time and it is posted all coming together. I remember to lurk nearly daily to read the forum. If the forum was not entertaining me, I would likely drift away from the one deal idea I have from others in the past.
Worth noting, I am not your ideal shopper because I do not make many purchases so my thoughts may not be relevant.
Thanks man.I watched shark tank by accident, first time. Destroyed me. you are loved, meh/
What exactly was meant by this statement?
My small mind has yet to understand what I see as cryptic statements pertaining to much of what has been posted.
I feel like the Riddler is in town for this episode.
If I have to call @KittySprinkles in to obtain further clarification, things aren’t going to end well.
@mfladd
Sometimes @snapster could use a translator. At least into ASL.
As for the specific statement you quoted: just visualize.
/giphy "cat’s in the bag"
@mfladd I’m glad it’s not just me.
@mfladd I was replying quickly to a post with a single sentence about a bag of dicks. That post was edited to include more sentences that were not about bags of dicks. My cute avoidance of saying bag of dicks became a less clear reference. I should have just said bag of dicks.
@mfladd I think Snapster just called us a bag of dicks.
@snapster First, never hold back from saying anything here (e.g. bag of dicks). That’s what is special about this place. Even though it makes for a more complicated business model concerning users (probably scared) with asshats like me in the house. But, I will say from my time here they are a very intelligent and knowledgeable group of asshats. Even I have some moments (but I will deny them).
But still the nature of your puzzling posts leave us with a lot of questions that should be answered about changes in business model, culture, and what you are planning for future developments. Now, you actually don’t have to tell us anything - that is your right as the Kraken. But you opened Pandora’s Box and we want to know exactly will be coming out of it.
I believe it is time you stop channeling the Riddler, and bestow upon us more of what you are thinking, and or planning. We would greatly appreciate it.
As you see, I have not posted one gif in this rambling which is very unusual for me. I did not even use the word “fuck”, which is even more puzzling.
I will leave you with your “bag of dicks” (probably us), and will wait to see if you generously provide us with more coherent, and less cryptic thoughts of what exactly is going on in the mind of the Kraken.
To be honest, I think you are restless at the moment. You are ever changing streams, and thinking about the next project because that is what drives you and makes you feel happy. This ever changing, transformative process is why you have been so successful. I applaud you for it.
So, time to share Matt.
@mfladd no time to stop now – my next stream is relaunching some membership programs!
@mfladd
Wanna Be.
@mfladd I think some of the issue is that this style of “post and discuss” delivery we did often packages up negative changes. There’s not much negative yet and what’s been added so far is boring.
@snapster Ok…
@mfladd
Like I said, sometimes @snapster needs a translator.
Here, I’ll Kelp.
/giphy "you suck"
@f00l I’ll just stick to being an asshat.
@mfladd
Ok. Sigh. Here ya go:
@snapster I tend to take every second (and then some) of the five minutes allocated to edit my postings. Sorry.
@mfladd I was trying to say that regardless of the label you slap on it, retail is retail is retail - - eCommerce is eCommerce is eCommerce . . . a bag of dicks, by any other name, is still a bag of dicks. It is my opinion that soon the same frustration of “becoming too close to being a retailer” (I’m paraphrasing) will again set in. In saying that “everything is a reboot”, I’m pointing out that there’s probably not a way to re-invent the experience so that such frustration in the future might be avoided.
@mfladd I guess I’ll be a dick in a bag.
@snapster, I wish yo apply for the official position of “@snapster-translator”.
Which better be well paid if I have to enter either Dallas or Collin counties for any reason other than when I feel like it.
Resume, CV, and Sample Of My Work:
Original Text
We’re previewing our future plans with Checkout.org
over at our Mediocre Labs forum (see link below) and
I thought I’d give folks a heads up here (and a timeline!)
I went to a Neil deGrasse Tyson talk back last month and really enjoyed it. He’s a compelling storyteller for an astrophysicist. His introduction highlighted that you don’t know your own culture and can only observe the culture of others. Others have sometimes claimed that I was good at building company culture, so Neil’s intro got me thinking about what I don’t know due to immersion. It may have clarified some value that I’ve often neglected. I’ve always had no answer to how we built our culture.
Jumping references here, you know that kids song about the little old lady who swallowed a fly? That type of verse is fittingly called a ‘cumulative’. I would propose that we are a company culture built in the same action style - ignorant of how these steps are shaping our culture because of immersion. Of course with each future step we could be hitting the verse where we swallow a horse and die but it’s all fun until then.
Here’s a cumulative breakdown of culture building to this Checkout.org plan (along with a handy smiley-guide):
1994: Founded a distributor (Synapse Micro) to buy closeouts and sell them wholesale
▽
1999: Mom-and-pop retailers went out of business so we expanded to internet retailers
▽
2001: Internet retailers went out of business so we expanded to big-box retailers
▽
2003: Struggling with a dwindling number of big-box retailer customers pushing us around
▽
2004: We reluctantly opened a very limited retail store, woot.com
▽
2006: Amazon invested
▽
2010: Amazon bought woot
▽
2012: Turns out being a real retailer does suck, so most of us left
▽
2013: Founded a distributor (Mediocre) to buy
closeouts and sell them wholesale
▽
2014: We opened a very limited store named for how we feel about retail, meh.com
▽
2015: Facebook and other networks dominate internet socialization and traffic
▽
2016: We started MorningSave.com to sell our closeouts to other media audiences
▽
2016: Turns out we’ve gotten too close to being retailers again and it sucks
▽
2017: We’re launching Checkout.org to deconstruct what it means to be a retailer
More on the checkout.org plan preview over on the Mediocre Labs Forums where I’ll answer questions about it.
As far as conversation here (meh centric), we’ll have a bit more to discuss later in the week. This was the boring update to lay the groundwork.
Formal Translation
Nos previewing futura consilia cum Checkout.org
Mediocre Labs nostrum super forum (vide links infra), et
Velim hic putavi fit a principibus (et Quintus)
Reversus veni loqui ad ultimum mensis Neil deGrasse Tyson realiter fruebatur. Et relator, a compellentium ad astrophysicist. Highlighted introductionem propriae culturae et cognovi quod non solum ad cultum aliorum. Alii vero dixerunt quod fuit aliquando munitiones culturae societatis, et Thomas de intro mihi nescio quid cogitans per immersionem. Ut manifestum est, quod aliquo pretio saepe neglecta. Quam ego semper habui respondit aedificavit elit.
Saltare References hic haedos scitote quia canticum vetula qui absorbebant musca? Quod genus est illud convenientius dicitur cumulativo. Et soluti sumus a consortio humanitatis genus idem ædificetur in - gressus formare quomodo ignorat quod immersio culturae nostrae. Sane apud nos gradu se futurum sit, quo percutis versus equum et praecipitabit mortem, sed usque tunc suus 'fun omnibus.
Hic 'a naufragii cumulatius hoc Checkout.org culturam consilium, ut aedificium (cum manus manus-amet Edition):
MCMXCIV, a distributione Condita (Micro Synapse) Closeouts emere et vendere ea wholesale
▽
MCMXCIX rutrum-pop venditores ex negotio ita penitus venditores ampliari
▽
MMI: Internet negotium ut retailers egressi sunt de arca archa-ampliatum ad magna retailers
▽
MMIII: dwindling pugna cum a numerus of magnus arca archa-venditor ipsum strenuo circa nos
▽
MMIV: Non invitus aperuit valde limitata retail copia, nescio. COM
▽
MMVI: Amazon circuivit
▽
MMX: Amazon emit Scio
▽
MMXII: venditor non lactaverunt Volvit sicco realis et maxime nostrae
▽
MMXIII: a distributor Condita (mediocre) buy
et venundabunt eos Closeouts wholesale
▽
MMXIV: Et aperti sunt valde limitata retail copia nomine quam de nobis sentire, meh.com
▽
MMXV: et retiacula Facebook dominari Internet negotium agitur, et
▽
MMXVI: Nos coepi nostrum Closeouts MorningSave.com vendere ad alia media Audientiis
▽
MMXVI: Volvit sicco ut Ive 'Acquisivi retailers quoque, et ea propinqua sint sugit
▽
MMXVII: Nos, ut deductis Checkout.org deconstruct quod est esse a venditore
More in checkout. Preview de consilio com in mediocris Forums ubi sum respondere quaestiones de.
Quantum hic sermo (centrali meh) puteus paulo post de septimana. Hoc est amet update ut ponant fundamenta.
Informal Translation
Motherfucking Fuckermother, I have thoughts in my head!!! Somebody do something about them!!! Let’s whiteboard!!!
Please send your extremely high salary and benefits package offer and a copy of your plans for a Dinosaur Park next door to the new location ASAP by courier.
(I have other offers, punhead.)
@f00l
@mfladd
Compared to you?
@f00l That did not back translate well. LOL
@Kidsandliz
@snapster
I presume you are referring to the formal translation?
[The informal translation being obviously perfect.]
I say it’s damned good.
Let me present my evidence:
FORMAL CIRCULAR TRANSLATION
(“Alleged English” > Latin [aka “Improved Ancient Imaginary English”] > “English”)
{Via rigorous Magic Wand Method}
We previewing future plans with Checkout.org
Mediocre Labs on our forum (see links below), and
I would have thought, this is done by the (Quintus)
And I am come to the end of the month, Neil deGrasse Tyson really enjoyed. And storyteller, a compelling to astrophysicist. Highlighted the introduction of their own culture, and I know that it is not only the worship of other. Others, however, said that there was a time the strong culture of our society, I do not know what he was thinking from within, and Thomas was by immersion. As it is clear that, for a price that is often neglected. I had said, which I have always built the procedures.
References to dance the kids know that song lady who swallowed a fly? It is fitting to say that this kind of the cumulative. And we are delivered from the same sort of building in the sharing of the mankind - that he does not know how to form the steps of the immersion in our culture. In fact, the level of that he would be with us, for what reason do you strike towards the horse, and he will swallow up death, but until then it’s fun for everyone.
Here’s a breakdown of this Checkout.org to be accumulated in the culture of counsel, to the building (with the hands are the hands-mainstream Edition):
1994, a distribution of History (Micro Synapse) Closeouts buy and sell them wholesale
▽
1999 shovel-pop stores out of business, so they are sold to be expanded
▽
2001: Internet business as retailers, they went out of the ark, box-amplified to the large retailers
▽
2003: the seller is dwindling to the battle with a number of of the big box-pushing round about us:
▽
2004: opened the extremely limited in the retail store is not against my will, I do not know. COM
▽
2006: Amazon invested
▽
2010: Amazon buys know
▽
2012: Turns out the seller is a real, and specially of our own have not given suck
▽
2013: Making a distributor (mediocre) buy
wholesale and sell them Closeouts
▽
2014: Their eyes were opened to us, and of the extremely limited in the retail store the name of the feel, meh.com
▽
2015: Facebook, to rule over the network, and Internet business this is, and
▽
2016: We started our Closeouts MorningSave.com sell to other media audiences
▽
2016: Turns out that I’ve gotten a retailers, and that quite near sucks
▽
2017: We, from the seller as the launching Checkout.org deconstruct it is to be
More checkout. Preview of the county council, the average Forums where I answer questions.
As far as he is the word of the (central meh) after the well is a little out of the week. This is an important update to lay the foundations.
Damn. My Mind Is Blown.
@snapster, you rule.
I like Matt Rutledge (@snapster) sites that sell one thing a day. But Matt Rutledge and friends don’t like running sites that sell one thing a day?
@GLaDOS we like a site that sells one thing a day so much that we’re building other sites we like less to funnel profits to try and keep the site that sells one thing a day growing.
@snapster Robbing Peter to pay Paul then? LOL
@snapster In other words, you’re taking on odd jobs to fuel your passion! I love it.
@snapster said
If you run a biz that’s kinda pretty much fun (compared to ordinary businesses), and you run web sites that are kinda fun, or even more fun than that, and you are located right next door to a fabo Dinosaur Park built on your company’s raw land (that you built because it was such a cool thing to do), and the Dinosaur Park is so cool that it gets kinda well-known and becomes something people come to see, and the Dinosaur Park becomes part of “greater Dallas area street culture” (such as it is), I don’t think branding beyond that is quite so much of an issue anymore.
/giphy dinosaurs
@f00l that’s a pretty good summary of our plan really. Build Dinosaur Park so we don’t have to advertise ourselves.
@snapster
I’m just a biz-whiz.
@f00l
Lost World, Scotts Valley, CA. Long since razed for buildings.
@f00l and @KDemo: How the mighty have fallen. I used to drop by the Wheel Inn many years ago, when we drove by it (Cabazon, CA). My daughter loved the dinosaurs when she was small. Now it’s headed towards being a “creationist” park. I don’t think I’ll tell her; I couldn’t take the tears.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cabazon_Dinosaurs
/image cabazon dinosaur
@KDemo We had a Dinosaur Kingdom with dinosaurs eating Union soldiers. Yes I live south of the Mason-Dixon Line. It burned down.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/10790
@sammydog01 OMG they are reopening this spring! I’m dragging the kids!
https://www.dinosaurkingdomii.com/
@KDemo
@shrdlu
@sammydog01
They liked Texas a lot. Used to hang here and party.
One of my childhood playgrounds nearby:
Footprints all over the place in the Paluxy River stone. You can wade and splash around in them.
@snapster If you are going to open a dinosaur park please be sure to sell funnel cakes there. In fact meh can sell funnel cake mix and I’d be happy.
So, I’ve long adored Neil deGrasse Tyson. I’ve envisioned him as my boyfriend and my personal science explainer, as well as the president of the United States.
But first Pluto, and now meh. I will have to see how this turns out before judging, but I won’t really relax until I see what happens.
Don’t betray me, Neil!
@KDemo
He still has possibilities. In spite of the Pluto failure.
Besides, his booty is still his booty.
let me sum up: more CAPITLAISM, less socialism
/youtube inigo mantoya let me sum up
My deepest sympathy to people in marketing, sales and executive jobs that have to think about topics like this on a daily/hourly/constant basis. Business bores me 110%.
But if there are problems in the Mehniverse, I’m confident that the pitiable souls in charge will be able to turn things around 180 degrees, and then another 360 degrees…and then another 180!!!
@UncleVinny If they do they will get dizzy LOL