Birthday Adventure Story
31Today is our birthday! Well, ya know, in the teenage diva scenario where we start celebrating our birthday before it is actually our birthday. But still, BIRTHDAY YAY!
So obviously that means we need to give some stuff away. I won’t tell you what those things are, but they are definitely things. But in order to do so, you’ve gotta earn them. And for today that means entertaining us.
So have at it. Make up your best birthday adventure stories for how we should celebrate our terrible twos. We’ll pick our favorites throughout the day and send you a thing or two.
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Bath!
Have an ambivalanche already.
How should you celebrate? Well, I think that the answer is obvious…
@jsh139 Considering the proximity and subjects of our posts, it seems obvious we should party together.
@cinoclav I concur!
Isn’t it obvious? Take Glen and Irk out for hookers and beer. I mean seriously, they must be awfully tired of sharing the same guy.
Happy Birthday You Sweet, Crazy, Wonderful Fuckers!
/giphy Happy Birthday Fuckers
Well, while my daughter may not be in her twos yet…I do know that they are terrible.
In an act of true terribleness, my adventure would be to periscope random items being completely and totally destroyed and then proceed to fill random fukobukuros with the shattered pieces.
Speaking of demolition…
@harrison…whats going on man, havent seen an official break down video in some time.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, gets the day off! Happy Birthday, Meh.
@Barney I do so very much love purple and your suggestion!
To celebrate, the entire Mediocre team should hop a plane to Toronto, Canada, where you will be picked up by a certain @curtise and ferried up to the family cottage in Georgian Bay for a weekend of chillaxing, possible drinking, definitely some great eating…
…some boating, some fishing (we just need to get fishing licenses en route, because Canada hehe), and definitely some pretty scenery!
I think that would make for a most excellent adventure!
And we can try to make @unixrab’s nacho cheese dip properly!!!
I love you guys, happy birthday, Meh, and keep on being mediocre, eh?
@curtise That sounds like a winner to me. Throw in Justin Trudeau and I’ll join you.
@curtise
I am unixrab… and I approve this message
@curtise My family once took a trip up there when I was in high school. Long story short, while driving down the 1/2 mile long driveway to the hotel our car was hit head on by a bulldozer driven by the hotels owner which stopped with the basket pressed against the windshield. Needless to say I would strongly advise against this idea!
@curtise Ooh, can all the mehricans come, too? That looks lovely!
@pitamuffin Sure! But we might need to stagger weekends… I don’t think I can fit everyone at the cottage at once, and I would have to check with my parents and siblings to see when I could have it. That said, it’s absolutely exquisite in the autumn as well…
(open in new window for full effect)
@curtise I’m sold! When can we move in?!
@curtise Damn, that’s pretty. I like it!
There once was a company called woot,
It used to be a hoot.
It was bought out by the 'zon
Now all the fun is gone
A billion deals are whack
But Matt and the crew are back
To give us just one deal
Yes, this shit’s for real
Meh.com is here to stay
It is turning two this day
So, how should you guys celebrate?
You should give some stuff away
No seriously, give it to me
I’ll take it, if it’s free
But as for meh, you deserve something too
You guys are awesome, we love the things you do
So have a party, make some noise
Get wasted, all the girls and boys
Sell more stuff, deals, and junk
Drink more beer, get more drunk
Raise a glass, and say a cheer
Then do it all again next year.
Happy Birthday Meh
You should all go to Sandy Lake Amusement Park and take Irk and Glen on the rides. Especially the bumper cars. Video footage is a must. Afterwards, a birthday cake fight would be a great way to wind down. Again, video is needed.
Any rules? Can I make a dirty limerick about how my sex life is so Meh I haven’t said Woot! since 2010, or some other horrible double entendre.
The only way to celebrate is with cake. I’d suggest hiring a local baker to make you an amazing Meh cake. You can even point out the irony of a great cake for such a mediocre sounding company!
You must’ve done one last year that I missed:
Now it has to be two layers…
Next, get an inflatable bouncy ride. I’d suggest one that’s tasteful and large. The Titanic Bouncy Ride:
Yes, now you can have fun while “honoring” the thousands of people who died on that fateful voyage.
Next, hire a clown. I’d suggest this guy:
He seems nice. Whatever you do… Don’t hire this guy:
And I’d be weary of this guy:
Although I hear he does magic tricks.
And who doesn’t love birthday party games??? May I suggest “Pin the Tail on Irk.” I bet he won’t mind… Just, don’t play charades with Glen. Trust me on this one. He’s a real jerk.
OK, so this sounds like the most rocking party ever, am I right?
@BillLehecka hey that’s my cake!
@BillLehecka @Ignorant
We just need @jasontoon to eat the entire cake, one slice at a time.
@curtise I remember this. It was rather disturbing.
@Ignorant There you go. Make another one, but like double the size.
@BillLehecka well “mine” as in bought it, not made it. I have no clue how to make cake, only how to eat cake.
https://meh.com/forum/topics/cake-delivery
@BillLehecka That was a fun day. I bought two BOCs from that birthday madness.
Birthday mean naked day. So clothing optional at work all day.
@narfcake yikes nobody wants to see coworkers naked just think about naked glen would look like mathews arm.
I entirely misread this sentence.
You should go to the mall or somewhere else that’s mediocre and offer random strangers Fuko’s for $10.
Video tape them opening them and post them for our enjoyment! (Might have trouble assuring people they’re worth the $10, however, you could always give them away.
There’s something about giving stuff away on your birthday that is oh, so satisfying.
@juststephen Shouldn’t it be $5 since they don’t have ship it?
@metaphore Very true.
This is so meh.
You sell shit that people kinda may want, and people keep coming back! It’s amazing. I have to click on to see just what the heck you have for the day.
You deserve a good time. I hereby authorize two days off for every meh employee to celebrate the meh birthday by drinking beer, eating pizza, splashing in a wading pool, drinking more beer, time for tacos!, dance to your favorite Frank Zappa song, drink more beer and throw purple frisbees.
Terrible Twos… I think you should go out to the warehouse open open some random boxes and show us how excited you are about the empty boxes. On periscope. Also, make a royal mess out of your bday cake.
Happy 2nd Birthday!
And send out the items that were in the boxes?
Throw things off the roof. It’s over one story, right?
Ooooh… I know… Birthday Streaking. I sense Glen will be really in to this.
Musical chairs (mehbe with meh theme song), pin the nose on irk, lots of cake and ice-cream. You are TWO live it up. Happy birthday, meh team, you deserve a fun day!
As the sunlight flooded their small and dilapidated attic apartment, Irk, Glen and Hyram woke up to start their day. As triplets, they were used to doing everything together, and celebrating their birthday was no different. “Today will be a great day” exclaimed Hyram, as he was having his morning shave. Glen lamented, “Another year closer to death” and hung his head low. Irk, obviously irked by Glen’s attitude, rolled his eyes, and let out a loud sigh. The plan for the day was to go to Papa @Matthew’s house for cake and mysterious libations. As they entered Papa @Matthew’s palatial estate, They saw all their friends there. @Moose was playing the music, @Mehcus was decorating the grand ballroom, and @HollBoll and @Galmaegi were wrapping gifts. Papa @Matthew went out to the backyard to fire up the grill, and @Snapster and @Dave came with vegetables and various BBQ sauces. Hyram was excited, as there is nothing he likes better than a good BBQ. As minutes turned to hours, Hyram wondered where his brother’s went, he couldn’t help but be intoxicated by the wonderful aroma of exotic meats coming from the grill. When Hyram, asked Papa @Matthew what kind of meat was on the grill, he responded, "Only the best for my boys."
Hyram began to worry about his brothers, as they do everything together. @KyleThePhotoGuy ran the dinner bell, he began to worry that his brothers were going to miss the meal. @JonT assured Hyram than there would be enough for everyone, and began to eat his succulent steak. Papa @Matthew asked Hyram, “Do you like your steak? Your brothers are a big part of this meal.” Confused, Hyram asked Papa @Matthew to explain. Papa @Matthew told him that trolls and socks are at their finest at age two. What Hyram thought was cow, was actually troll. Disgusted, Hyram began to back out of the room, only to be surrounded by the crowd. The crowd began chanting, “Something went terribly wrong. Something went terribly wrong”, and Hyram was never seen again.
-Fin.
@conandlibrarian I had to do something morbid, lol. It’s been a long day.
I would say that @snapster should rent out “Six Flags” for a company night… but Six Flags is pretty upscale, so perhaps instead he should rent out “Sandy Lake Amusement Park”… the yelp reviews mention them being very rule oriented… but that would be half the fun right? See who gets kicked out first? Bring along some stuff to grill and have a cookout?
Happy birthday Meh… whatever you do remember to periscope it for us.
You should go to your local Daiso Japan and buy all of the product that are shaped like food but not edible. Or everything shaped like a cat. Your choice. I don’t care what you do with the stuff, but make a video. Go to Costco and buy one of those chocolate cakes that are the size of a grown man’s head. Eat until you’re nauseous. After that, marathon Archer.
Anyway, that’s what I would do if it were my birthday and I were in Carrollton.
Totally true story:
It was my 21st birthday, and one of my underage friends wanted to get wasted. A friend of our’s had just returned from Vegas and gifted her $1000 for graduation.
We ended up getting a trunk load of whiskey and beer and booked a hotel room. So me and ‘A’ invited ‘B’ and ‘C’. Then I invited ‘M’ – ‘J’ crashed the party.
We ran outta whiskey. ‘J’ ran me to the store while ‘A’ and ‘B’ traded bras in the bathroom. ‘C’ was confused but entertained by ‘M.’
When I returned with a half gallon of Jack, ‘M’ told me ‘A’ “was gone!” I THOUGHT SHE DIED. Miscommunication, big time. She was okay, just past the plateau.
So ‘J’ and ‘M’ somehow ripped my jeans off, and I managed to rip the headboard off the wall. ‘B/C’ were in bed #2 just witnessing chaos.
‘J’ left early. ‘A’ ended up getting in bed #2, rolled backward and put a skull sized dent in the wall. She ended up sleeping under an oddly positioned sink. ‘M’ stole my underwear, so I stole his boxers.
I passed out after everyone while cradling a bottle of blue Pucker. Yum, cough syrupy flavor.
Apparently, someone had gone for a jaunty stroll thru the hotel at some point. Because when I awoke there were about 50 Do Not Disturb signs on the floor. Somehow the floor was soaking wet.
We all had a lovely hungover breakfast and checked out. Cramming 6 grown people into a 1987 Chevy Celebrity.
One of my best birthdays ever.
The best part of that whole night was when the consierge said “Have a fun night!” After we paid Cash and walked to the room, rolling cooler and all.
What are the chances that you could get a stripper to pop out of a giant speakerdock?
If you do, I hope it’s on Periscope.
Happy Birthday Meh
I think you should get a cooler full of beer , root beer, and sandwhiches and take the entire staff out sailing. Then everyone gets to go home early.
You’re two! Time to try some new things.
Because you start early, start celebrating with morning drinks! But mimosas are so meh. For your second year AM libation, you deserve a Black Velvet:
INGREDIENTS
4 ounces (1/2 cup) chilled Champagne or prosecco
2 ounces (1/4 cup) chilled Guinness Extra Stout
PREPARATION
Later, accessorize your lunch with some oven-fried pickles:
FInally, what’s a birthday without cake? How about one of these after dinner?
Nutella Crêpe Cake
Enjoy, team meh! Thanks for a super-fun year.
This seems like a good opportunity for some 6-word fiction:
Big celebration. Missing forklift. Where’s Irk?
@ACraigL Ransom note: Bring cash, or else
Have a Big Sale, never mind you do that everyday.
Do something unusual and have fun today, hmmm sounds like a regular day at Meh.
Have a Happy Birthday anyway.
/giphy unusual
You can start your day by giving me back my 2 rogue Meh. usernames, oh crap, you haven’t packed my fuko 11 yet, nevermindEnjoy a day of eating if you like to eat, drinking it you like to drink, hiking if you like to hike, biking if you like to bike, having tea if you like to tea (with consent of course) - basically, do whatever you want, in true Meh. fashion/giphy meh fashion
/image meh fashion
/captionbot
I think it’s a small bird sitting on a table.
Two year olds like bubbles. Make bubbles.
However you celebrate, whatever you do, just be advised that those cheap plastic keg tubs that they sell at Walmart have a limit to the amount of weight they can reliably hold. Ask me how I know.
in honor of meh’s birthday, i ate fried scorpion. what? not everyone eats cake for their birthday. i also walked the great wall of china. there were many steps. it was totally tranquil. and, hot as balls.
@carl669 Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarl
@lichme Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-ch-ch-ch-ch
sorry… scorpion tail got caught in my throat.
@carl669 Is that what you’re calling it these days?
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?..
/gag
What fun!
How about a photo shoot of all of you against a background that won’t change much over time and each year do the same thing so we can all see how much you’ve grown as Meh ages?
Not really an exciting idea, but as an old lady, I know how much I enjoy looking back at pictures of our Disney group.
@lisaviolet I like that idea.
You should get a bunch of tequila and hide in a blanket fort and cry. Dreaming of the life you could have had and the places you could have gone. China to eat scorpions and walk on a wall, Canada for a cookout and a weekend of chilling with strangers, Hiking, buying food shaped plastics, getting drunk and thinking your friends are dead or doing a bunch of blow. But alas you realize your life is not that adventurous.
Once your tears are exhausted put on your cleanest dirty clothes and haphazard makeup and go to a club (alone) where you will pick up another sad and pitiful person (who is probably a hooker by the looks of them) for a scary hookup by the dumpster out back in a pile of glass and wino pee.
Unfortunately instead of hooking up you will just cry some more and be emasculated by said hooker for being lame. (Just like last year!)
After about 40 minutes you should then pick yourself back up and go home to drink some more and drunk text your ex about your undying love and your impending doom since you are now old and gross.
Happy Birthday Meh, Hope you like my adventurous birthday plans for you!
Perhaps you could periscope some adventures to local thrift shops in search of awesome fukobukuro loot. I really enjoy the staff videos.
@studerc Replace thrift store with landfill (or refuse transfer facility).
@studerc I’m telling you: Daiso Japan. Also thrift shops! Your instincts are good.
Go to the street with a camera, while wearing birthday caps and meh apparel. Offer to do selfis with people and ask them a silly quiz question. If the answer makes you laugh, give them a mini-fuko. Then post the video here for us all to see.
FORWARD INTO THE PRESENT BUT FIRST BACK A BIT AND THEN LATER BACK AGAIN AT THE END
A Time-Travel Adventure
by Starblind
PROLOGUE
I’d known Doc for awhile, and we were pretty good friends even though I was in high school and he was a lot older. He’s some kind of science guy and makes really cool inventions that don’t always work all that well. I really don’t mind when he talks about science stuff even though I don’t usually get most of it, but lately he’s been going on these rants about retail theory and boring business stuff, so I’d been sort of keeping my distance. I almost decided not to go when he asked me to show up at the Shady Pines mall that night in 1985, but it turned out to be our greatest advenure of all…
INTO THE FUTURE!
I skateboarded into the mall parking lot. The mall was already closed, and the only cars were terrorist vans and Doc’s car, which I was about to find out wasn’t a car at all.
"Behold! My latest invention, a time machine!"
I wasn’t too sure at first. “Was the world’s shittiest used car lot all out of AMC Pacers?”
“Scoff if you will, my boy, but wait until you see what happens when this gets up to 88 MPH!”
"So we’ll need to push it, then?"
But I have to admit, the thing worked. After some special effects we were 31 years in the future, all the way to July 8, 2016. I was excited to use this technology for the cause of humanity.
“Woah, Doc, the future! This is heavy! Can we go to a robot fight, or a robot hooker, or a robot hooker fight?”
“I have something far more exciting in mind, we’re going to use… a computer! I sent a Western Union message to my future self before we left, and told him to go watch the robot hooker fights and leave the key under the mat, so we’ll have my house to ourselves.”
“Ok, but we did have computers back in 1985, you know.”
"Not like this one, we didn’t."
A few minutes later we were at future Doc’s house. The future computer was less green and more flat than the ones we had at school, but I still didn’t really see the point. Doc began a long monologue about how future computers could all connect to each other, and although this was mostly used to send pictures of kittens, some people also used it to buy things.
He typed in Meh.com on the keyboard and a screen came up offering something called "Fukobukuro 11"
“I knew it, Doc! I knew in the future the Japanese would be running everything!”
“You’re missing the point! This is a whole store that only sells one thing each day! It’s brilliant!”
“Actually it says it’s sold out, so it’s really not selling anything.”
“Shut up, it’s brilliant! I plan on taking this concept back to 1985 and offering it to all the big retailers: Sears, K-Mart, Montgomery Ward, Radio Shack, Blockbuster Video…”
“Woah, Doc, won’t changing things in the past mess up the time line and the fabric of the universe and stuff?”
“Probably, but I really want a Jacuzzi!”
“Won’t you be really screwing over the people who run this Meh store or whatever by taking their idea?”
“I went a little further into the future to check on them. It seems they had some tweaks on the near horizon. And all those ideas will be terrible, massive failures. They eventually get sold to a company called Amazon which is apparently run by an octopus.”
"Woah. The future sure is heavy."
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door.
“That will be my future self returning. Now, it’s time we got back to 1985. Remember, my boy, ‘One day, one deal, one day, one deal…’”
EPILOGUE
"…one day, one deal, one day, one deal…"
The policeman knocked on the window again and then turned to his partner.
“I dunno, man, the old guy’s been parked here at the old abandoned Decrepit Pines mall since daybreak at least, talking like there’s somebody else in there with him. Crazy shit, man. Something about an octopus and some robot hookers or something.”
“He probably can’t move the car. These Deloreans are about as reliable as a blind mohel.”
“Yeah, I already called a tow truck. We’ll have to clear some space in the drunk tank for the old guy though. So far gone he doesn’t even know what decade it is.”
“It’s sad, really. You know, any of us could end up just like him when we’re old.”
“Yeah. Well, that’s what happens when you don’t plan for the future.”
THE END
@Starblind It was probably great. TL;DR
@Starblind Automatic star clicky for including an AMC Pacer.
@ACraigL Why are deer teal anyway?
@Starblind This sounds familiar.
/giphy hmm
I decided to follow the instructions exactly as shown. “Make up your best birthday adventure story”. So here it is:
It was the day of Meh Inc’s 2nd birthday and @snapster decided to do it up in style - he was taking the staff to Chili’s for lunch. To really show his appreciation, they could even order appetizers AND desert.
Obviously, everyone was very excited at the thought of all those cheese fries, boneless wings and eggrolls.
So off they all go in a train of cars to Chili’s. Thoughtfully, Snapster had reserved a very large table so they could all sit together. After a bit of a shuffle of who would have to sit next to the boss everyone finally settled.
Many appetizers were ordered along with sweet teas and sodas and waters and the party commenced. It didn’t take long for @shawn to start messing around with that little tabletop computer thing that lets you play games, order drinks and pay your bills. After about 5 minutes of trying to figure out how to get it accept /giphy commands (Because let’s face it, EVERYTHING should be /giphy-d), he suddenly realized he was looking at a very strange menu.
“Self,” Shawn thought to himself, “When presented with a button, you have to press it, right?”
So he mashed that button for all he was worth.
WHOMP! Suddenly the entire table was engulfed into a strange blue light.
AHHHH! Suddenly the entire table screamed in shock and surprise.
OOOOH! Suddenly the entire table said in unison when the light cleared. For as far as the eye could see, the sky was a beautiful shade of glorious deep purple. Except for one spot where there was a small body of water covered in gray smoke. Weird.
Once everyone settled down and realized they weren’t dead (or worse), people started looking around. Except for Shawn who tried a little too hard to look innocent.
Eventually, @hollboll yelled that she found something and everyone came to look. It was a large building, just sitting in the middle of nowhere. For lack of anything better to do, everyone went in. Inside, the building was completely open.
Suddenly, the doors slammed closed behind them! (Insert dramatic music here)
Music started blaring out from everywhere, as if there was some sort of 3D processing. ATMOSt, it was bordering on painful, making it hard to think. Then the lights went on. Intensely bright, nearly blindingly so as if there were no dimmers installed. Far, far away on the back wall of the building, a yellow oval lit up.
“Aha!” @galmaegi said. “I’ve seen this before. We have to make it to that yellow oval in the wall!”
As everyone started to move forward, they realized the floor was not bare at all. It was covered in strange symbols! No one could determine exactly what they meant. Lacking any better ideas, they started to move forward.
No sooner did @chadP step foot on the first symbol when a small troll popped out of nowhere saying “That really bothers me” and whacked him with a speaker dock!
Needless to say, everyone stepped back a moment. @Jdub tentatively stepped forward and tried again with the same result. Whack!
Then @Katylava tried and when she stepped onto one of the symbols, it lit up (And oddly, there seemed to be faint, crappy sounding music coming from the lightbulb in the floor). However upon her second step the light went dim and once again the troll popped out and she too was whacked.
“Aha!” @JasonToon said. “I believe I know what to do. We have to step on these symbols in order. I believe I know the correct order they go in”.
Nervously JasonToon made his way across the floor of faces, using his intuition to know which face would be next. Finally after much effort he succesfully lit up a path across the floor to the portal.
“This way to freedom!” yelled @Mehcus for no real reason other than he hadn’t had a chance to speak yet.
Soon each person made their way across the narrow path to the portal. Holding hands (because that’s what you do in this story) they lept into the portal.
WHOMP! Suddenly the entire group was engulfed into a strange yellow light.
AHHHH! Suddenly the entire group screamed in shock and surprise.
OOOOH! Suddenly the entire group said in unison when the light cleared. They found they were back at work, standing in front of the Mediocre headquarters.
“I think we all learned a valuable lesson here” said Snapster, glaring at Shawn.
“Yeah”, said @Moose. “Don’t eat at Chili’s. That place is really Meh”.
@Bingo Dammit, I forgot to include a link and now it’s too late to edit. In the paragraph just before where Chad is tagged is supposed to be this picture showing what it looked like:
@Bingo That was brilliant. As I read it I was imagining the whole thing in a 70s Hanna-Barbera cartoon style. Also, extra points for Irk cameo!
@Bingo An overly long Chilis joke for Meh? You have no idea how meta and realistic that is for our daily conversation. Or maybe you do. I don’t know. TLDR we talk about Chilis a lot.
@Bingo That story is completely implausible, I never eat lunch with coworkers
@Bingo Except in true “Dallas” style, none of it really happened because they were at Applebees. Shawn dreamed the whole thing when he spaced out while they were waiting to order.
@Bingo - So is the staff playing the part of mole in a life-sized whack-a-mole game? Whack-a-meh?
Cool!
Happy Birthday Meh!
One day Meh received three boxes of cookies. One box was chocolate chip, one box was peanut butter, and one box was oatmeal raisin. They looked wonderful. But there was a note that read, “One of these cookie batches was made with the Gold Medal flour that was recalled and could make you sick or even die.” Someone suggested that all the cookies should be thrown out. That person was immediately booed. So some of the employees removed the note and set up a camera to watch and see if whoever took a cookie out of one of the boxes got sick. What do you think happened? Who do you think couldn’t resist? (This is one of those “supply your own ending” stories.)
The terrible twos are my favorite. The cute cuddly babies develop their own personality and start to express themselves.
It is time to rebel against authority and hard fast rules. One deal a day. Hmmm, why? Who cares. Why am I even thinking about it. If I want to do something, I should just do it. Maybe post something extra? Maybe post early or late just for fun? (Innocent giggles)
No worries about what might happen or who might object. I can do what I want and when I want. I can throw a tantrum if someone disagrees with me. That cool thing one the desk over there? Mine! Everything is mine and you can’t have it even if I don’t want it.
For your birthday there should be cake and ice cream without utensils. Hands are faster and more efficient. Then we need an official birthday picture of the staff. That cool piñata from @trillian needs to get smashed right now (on video, of course).
/giphy terrible twos cake
@speediedelivery Note to self, catch up on the threads before posting. Fun piñata Trillian!
Happy 2nd birthday meh! May you have many more to come!
Enticed by the giveaway, I tried my hand at writing something for you.
I was a bit loopy late last night, so I think I went overboard. Meh. Here it is anyway.
“Road Trip”
Riding along at a steady clip. Cool air barely flows from the vents, inadequate to keep the desert heat at bay. The truck cannot overheat. Not today. Not for the days to come. Our suffering eases or deepens at the whim of mother nature. No amount of supplication can sway her will. So, ever forward we must go, riding along at a steady clip.
Silence permeates the cabin. Heads rest on pillow, shoulder, or pane. Twenty minutes passed since the last words were spoken. “Dude, gross” was uttered then. Someone had farted, the smell a power overwhelming. We each risked the blowing sting of the inferno just outside to make breathable the cabin’s air within.
Each body stirs as the truck slows to a stop. The two up front disembark and open doors for the backseat riders. Heavy lidded they emerge, one takes over driving duties. The new captain at the helm readies her position. Her remedy to stay awake relies on a “book on tape.” She pushes the scratched cd into its slot and hopes the stereo will play the story of a wizard boy born to save the day.
The truck roars back onto the road to continue on its mission. No rest for this truck, but for brief stops like these. Before the lull of the road takes the passengers to sleep, a quiet anticipation for the destinations to come flashes on our faces in smiles already gone.
One among a dozen trucks that left Texas in different directions, we four travel with each Fukobukuro in our possession to celebrate the birth of meh by meeting each fan who bought one in person. We gave fair warning of unlucky bags from now on, but still 521 bought before 30 seconds were gone. Disappointment or glee, each person we’ll see inspires confidence in the meh vision.
Celebrate birthday #2 with twice the glee and twice the mediocrity. Today was just “Day Zero”, the soft opening day. Tomorrow is the official Birthday.
Throw a tantrum. Bring back out the red FUKU bags and give it all away again tonight. Last night was just the rehearsal dinner. Tonight, we have reckless abandon with the REAL DEAL.
And besides, then trlenoir might get one, so goudaman can stop waving his in her face.
Be me
I checked my computer at 11:05 pm.
Meh had sold out.
Not the way Woot did but in a temporary sold out of Fukobukuro 11 product.
I read this post, I had been inspired, I sat at my computer. The clack clack clack could be heard outside the room as I composed the best Meh Birthday Adventure Story.
I worked tirelessly for 24 hours.
I read the Meh Birthday Adventure story to my children, they thought it was cool even though I, their parent, wrote it.
I showed my wife the Meh Birthday story brought tears to her eyes.
I called my brother and read it to him over the phone. He exclaimed “my god man, that is brilliant, it could bring world peace.”
Finished, proud of my accomplishment I opened a bottle of champagne.
I wrote the Greatest Birthday Story in the World but when walked away to drink my celebration, Windows 10 update started. I lost everything.
All I have left is this:
This is not the Greatest Meh Birthday Story in the World, no.
This is just a tribute.
Couldn’t remember The Greatest Meh Birthday Story in the World, no, no.
This is a tribute, to The Greatest Meh Birthday Story in the World,
All right! It was The Greatest Meh Birthday Story in the World,
All right! It was the best muthafuckin’ Meh Birthday Story in the world.
And the peculiar thing is this my friends:
The story I wrote on that fateful night, it didn’t actually sound Anything like this story.
This is just a tribute! You gotta believe it!
And I wish you were there! Just a matter of opinion.
Ah, fuck Windows 10! Good God, God lovin’,
So surprised to find you can’t stop it.
@caffeine_dude
@caffeine_dude write in OneNote, it saves automagically, and it’s really cool for collaboration, and did i mention
@Yoda_Daenerys I wrote it is Chrome as I did this message.
@caffeine_dude i see what you did here…and i love it. You are missing the part however when breakfast octopus @snapster appears and does a super sick drum solo.
@caffeine_dude Google Docs!
@studerc In the story I forgot, I took out the controversial part.
It explains why Meh stopped selling speaker docs. You see @snapster used them to make a time machine.
@snapster time travels back in time using speakers docs to help Jesus defeat a dragon while riding on a triceratops into battle. Jesus grants @Snapster 1 wish that wish. That wish was to start a company that sells speaker docs. This is of course controversial because of the time paradox how would @snapster have all the excess speaker docs on the 2nd anniversary of a company that only exist due to a wish granted because of time travel.
Happy Birthday Meh and to celebrate it you should get a party setup and live stream it with everyone so we can join in the celebration to. all these ideas are awesome but you can never beat a family day full crazy stuff for everyone, and invite the whole world to come so they can see how meh you guys really are
Houseboat on Lake Joe Pool.
Plenty of ribs and brisket.
Far too much beer and liquor.
Potato gun fights.
Everything on video until the game warden ends it.
/image lake joe pool
@MEHcus Is it over now? Are you announcing winners, or is it a surprise?
@lichme Just give it to Starblind and Acraigl. They win all of this stuff. (Deservedly so.)
@sammydog01 Hey! Mine had pictures at least!
/giphy snark
@Bingo Not enough pictures. All I looked at were the pictures.
/giphy picture book
@sammydog01 This book actually has no pictures.
I forgot to include any pictures. Just imagine them there though instead. Pixel-y pictures.
@Starblind Sorry, too busy playing Pokemon Go to read enough know what pictures to imagine.
Cough* Any update on this @MEHcus?
@joelmw ping. You should thrive in this contest.
@MEHcus That little kid gif you posted is fucking GOLD!
Just too funny.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MEH!!! Since you are located in Texas, I think you should trace Pee Wees Big Adventure ending with a celebration at the Alamo! DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS
Way back in July, almost farther back than an old fart like myself can recall, I decided to celebrate my birthday in the company of a few old gOAts. I decided to invite some of them to the party. Bad fucking decision. Looking around the table was a hodge podge of ex-goats.
There was @Thumperchick still on her cell phone like a 911 person trying to fix meh problems. I thought, she doesn’t even get paid for this gig.
Next, was @carl669 with a bottle of vodka preaching the gospel of the Mehcronomicon - I clutched my medallion of St. Michael a little tighter.
Then, I thought great - @thismyusername is here. All he kept doing is this.
What a stoner.
At the end of the table was @joelmw and @christinewas - they had a folder with many pages of written script and started setting up a screen and a projector - I thought, Oh Lord, this is going to be a long night.
Next was @KittySprinkle (aka @jaremelz) She just kept playing with her knife and looking at me like Hannibal Lector
@Narfcake was also there, and handed me a soft item in a plastic bag. Want to guess what it was? Yup. Another wOOt shirt.
I thought, it better be the Octopus with the bubble guns - PewPewPew - and washed.
Lastly, was @Pavlov who stumbled into the party with a camera taking pic after pic and letting me know that I would be billed later. Thank God, @MrsPavlov showed up soon after and told me no charge, and then dragged him out by his ear. He looked pissed.
Happy “Fucking” Birthday to me.
@mfladd
And way to fuck my name up.
@KittySprinkles If it was correctly spelled with “jimmies” it wouldn’t have been an issue.
@mfladd I think you have me mixed up with someone?
@mfladd Surely you don’t mean my sprinkles.
@thismyusername if you would like to put in a complaint about this post, please contact @thumperchick, at @thumperchick.
@mfladd Oh… is it your birthday? Well despite your slander that is a great movie… Happy Birthday… have a video
@mfladd I will promptly file any and all complaints with the complaint department.
/giphy trash can
@thismyusername LOL…birthday is long gone. I just wanted to get some free stuff and have fun at your expense. But I still luv ya, bitch.
@mfladd no worries, you should lay off the COCAINE I think
@thismyusername I think you have me mixed up with someone?
@mfladd perhaps, but if your getting me on a list, I’m getting you on one
@thismyusername I am on many lists. Santa’s naughty list to start. But you already knew that.
