@mr_crash_davis If you live in a mostly cold state you might be inclined to get the higher end model. That said I’m surprised the Dakota’s aren’t all over this one.
@BioBidet We Americans are decades behind (pardon the pun) when it comes to toilet technology. We are still using the same methods that my father used as a kid, and they did not have indoor plumbing.
We have these at my house for the last few years and can’t imagine not having them (not these particular models). I am in Japan as I write this and they have them EVERYWHERE - hotels, restaurants, even some public restrooms. The Japanese get it.
@sohmageek I’ve never heard a USB port referred to as a ‘lightning’ port. Again, this was something we considered, but to run the risk of having your phone temporarily plugged into your toilet while using would likely increase the # of phones dropped into toilets.
@cengland0 I’m surprised that out of all the Mehcitizens you do not call the grammar police on the write up:
"(If you’ve ever been to Japan you understand why we emphasized the heated seat in particular. It’s life-changing. If you’ve never been to Japan, think of how it feels when you sit in the warm spot where a pet was sleeping. No imagine experiencing that feeling directly on your butt every time you sat down.)
@WTFsunshine I made a comment about the writeup a couple days ago. Not just a grammar issue but a sentence that didn’t make any sense at all. No replies and no stars so I guess nobody cares. The writeup wasn’t changed to make any more sense either.
@WTFsunshine@cengland0 I’ve mentioned some grammatical errors myself. I noticed the same mistake in this write-up, just didn’t have the chance to comment until now. They definitely need to be proofread before being posted. While they’re still good, they’re just not @JasonToon good.
@melonscoop Agree. I have my own toilet/bathroom, my son has his toilet/bathroom, my husband has his toilet/bathroom and the company has their own toilet. We all get are own throne to sit upon.
@BioBidet Are you suppose to hold hands, when both toilets are being used, or can you at least talk to each other? That way if you get pissed off, you can get pissed on for good measure.Yea, that’s the ticket!
@squishybrain It’ll up your poop game x1,000. Seriously, one of those life altering ‘I’ve been doing this butt cleaning thing wrong my WHOLE life’ moments.
@Yoda_Daenerys The electric models do have a short 4’ grounded plug coming out of them but they are safe to use with a common grounded extension cord.
My master bathroom has an outlet up by the vanity like 5’ over. I have a common white extension cord tucked up by the wall with some wire moulding, I never notice it. Looks great, everything works.
@cengland0 You got us! You caught us on a legal technicality for one of those weird moments where someone thinks they can plug in their bidet and jump into a swimming pool without repercussions. LOL
It’s a machine that’s filled with both water and electrical components. As safe as we can make/design this thing we’re still required to post the obvious warnings of ‘electricity and water shouldn’t be mixed together in a dangerous way.’
It’s all good. It’s safe. It’ll clean you up right.
I have one similar to the “better” option, installed about a year ago. Genuinely surprised at how much I like it. So much so I would actually really consider the “best” option here… if I weren’t so poor post-divorce. Ah well.
I’m curious, how many people have an electrical outlet behind their toilet? In all the houses I’ve lived in, I’ve never had a single house with an outlet there.
@cengland0 We’ve got one on the wall to the side of the toilet. tbh, it always seemed a bit odd, but maybe it was put in just for this (or maybe some sort of towel heater thing).
@rychastings Even an electrician would have to either run a fresh wire from the electrical box and I’m running low on available slots or would have to tear up the sheetrock having to run a wire from an existing outlet somewhere. Not worth that much trouble.
I do have one outlet by the sink for electric razors and blow dryers but I wouldn’t want to run an extension cable from that outlet to the toilet. It would look like crap.
@cengland0 These bidets are safe to hook up to an extension cord. I got an outlet by my vanity like 5’ away, used a common white grounded extension cord and secured it to the wall with some moulding. I never notice it.
@cengland0 I had one installed above my toilet to put a TV so I could watch football games on Saturdays while I showered and shaved to go out. All three of my bathrooms happen to have an outlet on the other side of the wall behind the toilet, so it wouldn’t be a big deal for an electrician to tap into them and give me power for a good bidet.
I’m gonna need a 3/8" hot water hose extender. Properly routed, 76" doesn’t reach my toilet without tripping me constantly. I guess it’s off to Home Depot once this thing arrives
@medz I don’t know about any other models, but the “better” model requires both hot water and cold. Cold comes up into my toilet right there, but the nearest “hot” hose is from the sink.
@andrewpatrick i was wondering about this: i have never seen a house w a toilet (no bidet) with hot water pipes to it. Closest is when the shower shares a wall with the toilet (like my current house) but even then the water to the toilet is not coming from that common wall, it comes out a different wall.
So while it all sounds nice, i can’t afford plumbers or electricians adding pipes or GFI outlets so my tush can be warm.
@mollama I’m looking at a home right now where the toilet shares a wall with the laundry room, and there’s a lovely “tankless” water heater right there. Should make for a nice steamy bum. (Ok, guys, some more fodder for jokes there)
@mollama I’m certainly no expert nor a plumber, but it’s not like I have to open up the walls and route a new pipe. It doesn’t take a genius to turn off my house’s water, run a T-valve from the sink to the toilet, and turn the water back on.
I’ve been super happy with the basic one I bought. I genuinely wish I could afford an upgraded one. Maybe you’ll have some left to offer in a few months.
I can’t think of a reason anyone would need a remote for a bidet. Any controls you might need to use while on the toilet could be right there on the unit. I guess maybe it’s easier to see which button you’re pressing. The remote would be great for pranking anyone unlucky enough to use your toilet. Wait for them to sit down and then just randomly surprise them with a jet of water up their ass. Or is that rape?
@warpedrotors Easier to keep it clean. Imagine men pissing in your toilet splashing up toilet water on the controls with the 2 cheaper models. I wouldn’t want to touch those controls after that. Now with the remote, you can leave it on the sink, window sill, or anything else nearby away from the splashing water.
@cengland0 I don’t like to imagine men pissing. Also, there’s no way that remote isn’t getting dropped in the toilet at least twice a year. Not that it needs to fall in the toilet to get dirty. People will be holding it and pushing the buttons while shitting.
@cengland0 They’d have to do some pretty sincere splashing to get to the controls. My guy friends are frankly animals, but I haven’t had to clean piss off the bidet controls yet. The floor, the seat, the front of the porcelain, the container with the toilet brush, the wall (none of this is splashing, just laziness in targeting). It’s less disgusting cleaning up my dogs’ messes than theirs. Boys are gross. These guys cannot be trained to close the fucking toilet no mater how many times I ask or point out that the dog giving them kisses may have just been drinking out of the toilet they left standing open. I wish I was a tech whiz, I’d rig the bathroom door with a lock that wouldn’t open unless the toilet lid was down and the sink had been run.
@narfcake I installed soft closing lids on all my toilets. They are awesome and I forget it’s not standard so when I use someone else’s facilities, I sometimes slam down their lids. Oops.
@droopus You mean you don’t use $100 bills like the rest of us in Congress? Can’t wait to wipe my ass with the tax cut savings I’ll be enjoying off the backs of what used to be your healthcare.
I have one of the best of another brand. Best purchase ever…and a life changer. The power went off the other day for a few hours…and no bidet. I’m in the market now for a small generator. Just for that.
I was actually thinking about how much I want a bidet just yesterday. Excellent timing, Meh! As a long-time hemorrhoid sufferer, I fully expect to be kicking myself for not doing this sooner.
I ordered the “better” one, just assuming I’ll be able to hook it up. I have absolutely no idea how plumbing works. It only now occurred to me that the hot water is under the sink, in a cabinet, and I rent. I know how to patch drywall, though… hmm…
Also I dropped an electrical outlet straight down from the light switch by the toilet. Probably not GFCI compliant, but works fine for the light bidet draw.
@guylee GFCI has nothing to do with current draw; it has to do with safety in event of water contact causing a leakage of current and potential electrocution.
@guylee Code does vary, sometimes from county to county. However, a GFCI will actually provide ground fault protection for something like 4-8 devices installed AFTER the GFCI. It’s always better to have the actual device be a legit GFCI however.
@BioBidet@narfcake Thanks guys! I think dropping the outlet from the light/vent switch also minimizes the likelihood of an upstream GFCI. I’ll swap 'er out this weekend. Seemed like an elegant solution without drilling through studs and extensive drywall patching.
@guylee Code doesn’t require switches to be on a GFCI circuit, so yeah, it’s very unlikely that it’s currently on a protected circuit.
Stick with a name brand GFCI. Leviton, Cooper, Pass & Seymour, Hubbell … they’ve all been around. I don’t balk on a $13 GFCI over an off-brand $10 one.
@BioBidet The safety is not increased or decreased between a properly wired receptacle downstream of a GFCI or the receptacles on the GFCI itself.
@guylee Best option - put a GFCI circuit breaker in the main wiring box. Then the entire wiring run is protected. Replace the breaker for the bathroom wiring run.
Forgot you rent. Perhaps an existing outlet is before/upstream from the switch? If so, replace that outlet with a GFCI outlet and you’re good. Just hope the switch isn’t on a weird 3-leg run
@jayman007 This has a 4’ power cord but can be safely installed via an extension cord. Just make sure it’s ground, maybe use some wire moulding to secure it to the wall or hide it a little. PERFECTION.
@BioBidet This is the reason the one I bought 4 years ago is still in the box. You have to get power or on demand hot water to the cheaper ones. And I don’t want my bathroom to look like the Oliver Wendell Douglas mansion.
@cranky1950 One extension cord does not make Frankenstein’s laboratory IMO. You could always pay an electrician to install an outlet closer specifically for the bidet, if you’re already paying for a premo product then take it the whole 9 yards.
Between “gross, there’s water spraying on my asshole” and “ughhgghggaaah, it feels like I’m shitting in someone’s lap” I’m finding it hard to imagine a more awful product than your “best” bidet.
I like my shitting to happen with as little water touching me as possible, and on the coldest toilet seat I can find.
@BioBidet I’ve had warm water splash on my ass. It feels disgusting. I’ve sat on warm toilet seats. It feels disgusting. I’ve been “trying” it all my life. It’s still disgusting.
@Dweezle I feel exactly the same way about warm seats and always had the same reaction to a wet butt UNTIL a year spent in France. After that I got one of the cheaper ones and all I will say is that after one bout of the flu you will be calling it money well spent! Even if you don’t even turn it on 'til then.
FYI, I don’t see it specified one way or another in the literature, but generally you can’t sit on a closed lid on models like the “best” UB-4800. This has kept me from buying one of these as we use the toilet as a seat pretty regularly when doing nails, grooming pets, etc.
@Skitals Ugh, you’re so true! We’re currently working with the factory to get sittable lids. Look for improved products from us in the future, we’re always making this shit better.
@BioBidet I think thats fair to say if I’m just using the cleaning option. I don’t think anyone should be expected to try sitting down for a butthole massage much less judged for not trying it. This isn’t a new Korean dish, it’s a stream of water pulsating around your anus.
Sort of off-topic, but I’m getting really frustrated by the reviews on Amazon. Hundreds of reviews for this set of products, but so far I haven’t found a single review for the UB4800 in particular, and there’s apparently no way to filter the review list for a particular product. I’m tired of flipping through pages of reviews, and having seen no comments on the UB4800 at all, I’m not going to spend money on it.
@manualdidact On multi-model Amazon listings, you can filter Amazon reviews by the particular model you want. Select the model, then choose “See all verified purchase reviews,” then in the “Filter by” menu change the “All formats” pull-down to select the specific model. The UB4800 has two 5 star reviews here is the direct link
@BioBidet Yeah, thanks for the link to your own site, where you’ve sorted to put the 5-star reviews at the top. I am on the fence about buying this kind of product, but at this point I’m pretty sure I’m not interested in buying one from your company.
@manualdidact Just to let you know for future reference most reviews are controlled by a third party site. That’s how you can see the same reviews across multiple sites.
@obxer This item really really sucks, and meh doesn’t do “clearance-off’s”, but they are nowhere close to the level of “yuck” that woot has become. No “moderators from gestapo camp”, the fricken owner posts, and a reasonable variety of “junque”. I will agree they’ve gotten a bit greedy on pricing, but they are a business, so just don’t buy if it’s not a good value to you.
I used to check woot every day within seconds of changeover. I haven’t been on woot for months. I check meh like that now. I can’t see how they are devolving into the 58,724 item a day site like woot?
Good Grief! I need to buy more toilets!!! Love the first ones I bought. Would never be without one now. I actually like the cold water. Soothes my butt, not that it needs soothing.
Sweet fancy Moses, the $400 version better do more than warm my buns and bathe my anus via remote control. I don’t know what that something else would be since I only require my toilet take shit away from the house, but I’m open to suggestions.
And I lived in Japan for 3 years, so I know bidets.
@BioBidet You say 2 year here, but the writeup says 1. Can you confirm that it is in fact a 2 year warranty? Seeing as I just purchased the best option, it’d be nice to know you really do have my ass (covered).
Don’t get hung up about the cold vs hot water…coupla reasons. The first blast of “cold” is usually room temp anyway and it’s not uncomfortable (even in winter). And 2nd, it really doesn’t get uncomfortable as the cold water levels off to its normal cold temp.
You ease into it, like dipping your toe into a pool… a feces splattered pool.
The cold water hookup is so easy and less conspicuous too.
@mehvermore@BioBidet I have an older Elite 3 with cold water hookup only, and have yet to ever feel that the water is “too cold”.
Still, depending on where and to whose butt, that water can be very very cold. No such issue here in SoCal, though, where it’s going to be over 100 the next few days.
Bought the A3 one of the last times it was on Meh. Worked maybe 4 or 5 “uses”, then crapped out. The water doesn’t fully disengage the nozzle anymore, so it just sprays water everywhere. And, since this thing also raises the back of the toilet seat, the water has a nice 3/4" gap that it can escape through. All in all, I like the idea of a Bidet but was not impressed by this particular model. Also, I can say the last product image is an accurate depiction of the bidet for anything stronger than say three clicks on the dial.
Got mine on the last sale. Was fairly easy to install, was harder to get the seat aligned but that is not there fault. Took a few tries to find the “spot” but once I did it worked great… Also be careful on the water pressure as they don’t advertise the fact this quickly turns in to a enema machine…
Have gone down to 1 roll of toilet paper every couple of weeks.
Pros: Your ass will thank you.
Cons: You have to clean the nozzle (even with the “self” cleaning feature), I use a toothbrush of my enemies.
Neutral: Hidden Enema Feature.
@darkzrobe Thanks for sharing and you’re absolutely right. I have a single bidet installed in my home with 5 souls in it and we’ve cut down our TP use in half to the tune of saving about $100 per year. Not bad!
I bought the “good” model last time called the A3. Its great and I recommend it. Of course I live in Las Vegas where it’s 113 degrees today so the water is very hot. I run it on self clean mode or flush the toilet first to purge some of the hot water from the pipes in the wall before using it!
For those of you in cold climates, purging the pipe will help in winter too to get the cold water out especially if the toilet is on an exterior wall.
Have the lower end models been redesigned? We had a two knob cold water only version we got from that other site and it was great while it worked, then it wouldn’t shut off anymore and I had to take it out. I think it only lasted about a year.
@nzeeben The non-electrics were redesigned a couple years back. The biggest change was switching to an all brass internal valve. Lesser changes were the knob style and attachment method.
Beyond that, non-electrics still make up a sizeable chunk of our business just due to them being so economical. ANYONE can get a bidet.
I’m checking the installation instructions, trying to determine if ‘Best’ will work in my bathroom. I’ve got weird Kohler toilets that have failed to fit universal toilet parts in the past so I’m a little overcautious.
Couple questions:
The ~1.57 between tank and seat lid mounting holes - is that a problem if larger? I’m seeing a little over 2 inches there.
The 18.5 inches - is that for seat mounting holes to the front of the toilet only and not inclusive of the ~1.57 at the back? If so, so far so good!
The toilet is wedged in between a wall and the sink; are the distances from the wall marked a distance to the center of the toilet or to the edge of the toilet? The diagram looks like center, but that’d be REALLY tight spaces if so. If they’re to the center, we’re more than clear; if they’re to the edge, I’m a couple inches too short in both directions.
Great questions! All you need is 1.5" of space between the mounting holes and front of the tank. You also need 5.5" to 7.5" between the toilet seat mounting holes.
I’d say you’re fine here, I’ve never seen a toilet tank that was more narrow than our bidets.
For way more information on sizing and a long list of good/bad models from 8 of the most common toilet manufacturers, hit up http://www.biobidet.com/size-shape.htm.
@sammydog01 Ah, these videos again. A popular misconception, or perhaps maybe a glitch in much earlier or cheaper models.
Our bidets have an occupancy pressure sensor in either the 5 or 7 o’clock position built into the seat. They will NOT SPRAY unless someone is sitting on the seat (or at the least have their hand over the sensor.) Even if you try to stand up while spraying it’ll shut itself off. No more spraying the walls!
@narfcake Jesus lord I wish. We have kind of a weird house that was really small when it was built but added on to a lot over the years before we bought it, so now it’s a decently sized house but with only 1 tiny little bathroom. We want to add another one eventually but we’re dirt broke with a baby on the way so it’ll probably never happen. Oh well. I can handle some cold water. What doesn’t kill my butthole will only make it stronger.
Just in time for the forthcoming bathroom renovation post-divorce. It’s about time I take the plunge into bidets. Glad the best option has a kid feature, my two potty trainers will probably end up spoiled forever though. #WhiteCollarDreams
I went in for the “best” one. My wife’s the doc has recommended a bidet for and I’ve dragged my feet given the pricing. Please don’t be a pile of crap.
@aaronhurt Yeah… I really want the best one, but the a.) don’t have power at the toilet (yet) and b.) don’t have an elongated (yet). Maybe next time… hopefully before winter! Purchased the “good” one last time, no complaints, aside from cold water!
I can’t believe I was making a comment [and had planned to bye the the 4800, most expensive one], and fell asleep, didn’t finish my comment, made a fucking fool, or rather made that fact more apparent, dammit. Even more stupid, I still wanted the high end<yeah, watering ass-wiper.I need to buy a mirror so I can see how Stupid I look, or get the VA 's better Meds!!
Has anyone seen my older comment that I never finished, or does anyone give a shit, OR does anyone have a 4800 for sale? My Mother needs one!! Really, no shit [wipe]!!
I tried to buy this the other day. Thought, finally, I can have a clean asshole after surfing and playing beach volleyball and climbing palm trees in Hawaii, but alas, I filled out all your shitty forms, gave you my whole life story and then clicked on Buy or whatever the hell it says and Damn, it says you can not ship to Hawaii. WTH not? We have smelly bungholes over here too, it’s not all maitai ass and plumeria vag. Even the USPS recognizes that Hawaii is in the US and we can use Priority Mail Fixed Rate boxes just like the dumb people that live in America. Amazon Prime ships free, why doesn’t Meh, which is much bigger than Amazon Prime. Not fair. Please change your policy or at least make an exception in my case, I have an itchy ass and it’s not from ukus. Palm fronds are not a good replacement for toilet paper. I need me some BioBidet. Alooooooha and Mahalos.
@davidhhh They are available on sister site Morningsave for just a few $ more. Be sure to check out the membership deal to get all your Morningsave shipping for just $2 a month.
FYI, if you bought the “better” model and can’t get hot water to it (even with the included 70" hose), you can just leave the hot inlet disconnected. It doesn’t dribble or anything.
Is anybody else disappointed? I installed mine (the electric model) on a toilet right next to a full sized, old fashioned, stand alone bidet, so I had less of a need for this than most, but it isn’t doing anything that I’ve been wanting an electric bidet seat to do.
The biggest issue is the temperature. I switched from using my old bidet to using disposable moist towelettes because it was a pain to fiddle with the faucets to get the temperature right. I first tried this bidet yesterday on the lowest temperature setting and it was too cold so I raised it to medium. Today, I tried it again and it was a great temperature for about 5 seconds and then went cold. I guess ‘cold’ is a relative term. This is Miami in the summer, so it is tolerable, but I could have just used my old bidet if I were going to just use cold water. I changed it to the hottest setting for tomorrow morning, but maybe @BioBidet can tell me if I am doing something wrong. I saw two lights over the temperature setting (now three), so I think it was set to medium (now hot).
The second biggest reason I wanted a bidet toilet seat was for the heated blow dry. When my sciatica flares up, bending and twisting my spine to reach my nether regions irritates the sciatic nerve root, especially in the mornings because that’s when the discs are swollen with fluid. Reaching to dry myself is just as bad a reaching to clean myself. It’s my fault for not reading the description more carefully, but in my limited research prior to the sale, I had never heard of an electric toilet seat that didn’t have a hot air dryer.
The remote control was a big selling point for me because the faucets on the old bidet are on the back, so you have to twist around to reach them (or take your pants off to sit facing the back). That irritates the sciatic nerve root when my sciatica is acting up. The problem is the remote control has been very frustrating. I push the button and nothing happens. There is no button to move, there is no click, there is no beep, there is no light, there is no water coming out to clean me. I push it harder and there is still nothing. Next, I push as hard as I can and hold it for several seconds until my knuckles turn white. Eventually, the water starts, but I don’t know if it’s because I pushed so hard, or held it, or if it takes a minute to get going. I looked at the manual and I didn’t see any explanation. Maybe @BioBidet can help here. Has anybody else had this problem? This really made me wish I could just say “Siri, clean my butt.” Why doesn’t this thing have wifi? At least the fanciest version should come with an app for all the obscure settings that you don’t change often.
A minor feature that is available on fancy toilets (and the toilet seats made by Kohler and Toto) is a powered seat lift. When I wake up in the morning it’s much easier to pee standing up. It would be nice to just push a button on the remote or say a command to raise the seat rather than having to bend over to lift it. I know the seat isn’t heavy, but on some mornings my back is stiff when I first wake up. The Kohler seat will also automatically lower the seat and lid two minutes after you leave so your wife wont complain about the seat being up. This feature isn’t huge, but would be a nice luxury. I guess the people willing to pay for that kind of luxury don’t shop at Meh, so I can’t hold this against you.
I’ve noticed that most of these toilets don’t include soap. Am I the only person who thinks that would be nice? Is there a reason not to include it? If your hands get dirty do you just rinse it in water or do you wash it with soap?
@Neil Wow, I really appreciate all this vital feedback, we certainly do look at what our customers want and consider it in our later models.
The most basic thing you can do that’ll correct 90% of the issues with the bidet is a basic reset of the unit, unplug and plug back in after a few seconds.
We HAVE considered motorized lifting seats/lids but this adds quite a bit of bulk to the design while we were looking for designs that are more sleek. We were exploring other ways to activate the bidet including voice and syncing to your phone (because who goes to the toilet without theirs) and this might be something we will explore in the future once the American bidet market matures a bit more.
Our BBi3000 model DOES have a small soap dispenser that feeds a small amount of soap into the water stream but we haven’t put this into other models just yet.
If you feel your unit is still acting up beyond normal troubleshooting tips, please call us, we’ll be happy to help.
@BioBidet - I love my top of the line model! It plugged right in to an outlet just above toilet. Works great. One question. It says to only use cloth and water to clean seat. Won’t disinfect. Can I use Clorox wipes?
@nickm461 We recommend more natural and VERY light chemicals, like Simple Green. Even water + vinegar can potentially discolor the ABS. If you want more details, call us.
Specs
Good
Better
Best
What’s in the Box?
A3:
1x Bidet
1x 7/8" fill valve adaptor
1x Water supply hose
BBC-270:
1x Bidet
1x 7/8" T-valve
1x 3/8” T-valve
2x Water supply hose
UB-4800
1x Bidet
2x Water supply hose
1x Remote control
1x Mounting hardware
Pictures
Price Comparison
A3: $39.74 at Amazon
BBC-270: $46.59 at Amazon
UB-4800$399 at Amazon
Warranty
1 Year BioBidet
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Monday, July 20th
This again? Are you shitting me?
@awk We are shitting you.
Dammit, @Trillian!
@narfcake Well, I am a shitty goat, so it seems appropriate.
@Trillian Nope. You’re actually a great goat; that’s why you were nominated.
Royal flush ER meh flush
Butt, butt, butt, Meh.
I don’t understand anyone who likes sitting on a warm toilet seat. All that means to me is ‘someone else was just here’. Creepy.
You replace your toilet seat after each use, @mr_crash_davis? Interesting…
@mr_crash_davis have you ever tried it? its great
@mr_crash_davis If you live in a mostly cold state you might be inclined to get the higher end model. That said I’m surprised the Dakota’s aren’t all over this one.
@mr_crash_davis
No, no, no, and oh yeah, no.
@lordbowen You’re mouth might be saying no but your butt is saying yaaaaaaas. XD
@BioBidet We Americans are decades behind (pardon the pun) when it comes to toilet technology. We are still using the same methods that my father used as a kid, and they did not have indoor plumbing.
We have these at my house for the last few years and can’t imagine not having them (not these particular models). I am in Japan as I write this and they have them EVERYWHERE - hotels, restaurants, even some public restrooms. The Japanese get it.
But does it have a lightning port?
@sohmageek Any lightning port in a storm!
@sohmageek The UB4800 requires electricity, yes. Also, never heard it referred to as a ‘lightning port’ before, took me a second.
@BioBidet the lightning port for an iPhone
. I like speakerdocks! Maybe add speakers and a charging port for your phone in next model 
@sohmageek I’ve never heard a USB port referred to as a ‘lightning’ port. Again, this was something we considered, but to run the risk of having your phone temporarily plugged into your toilet while using would likely increase the # of phones dropped into toilets.
Wicked pissah.
Butt docks. More glorious butt docks!!
@huja I like this name. I’ll recommend it as the name for our next bidet model.
@BioBidet It’ll only get my official endorsement if it is available in leopard print.
Queue all the crappy jokes.
@cengland0 I’m surprised that out of all the Mehcitizens you do not call the grammar police on the write up:
"(If you’ve ever been to Japan you understand why we emphasized the heated seat in particular. It’s life-changing. If you’ve never been to Japan, think of how it feels when you sit in the warm spot where a pet was sleeping. No imagine experiencing that feeling directly on your butt every time you sat down.)
@WTFsunshine I made a comment about the writeup a couple days ago. Not just a grammar issue but a sentence that didn’t make any sense at all. No replies and no stars so I guess nobody cares. The writeup wasn’t changed to make any more sense either.
That’s basically my entire reason for being here.
@WTFsunshine @cengland0 I’ve mentioned some grammatical errors myself. I noticed the same mistake in this write-up, just didn’t have the chance to comment until now. They definitely need to be proofread before being posted. While they’re still good, they’re just not @JasonToon good.
@cinoclav Couldn’t agree with you more. @cengland0 you are who I remembered from the last time which is why I pinged you.
Oh shit
Bag of Crap. Well done Meh. You bastards.
@cpav We had a mountain of crap.
So how many people here had the connector fail and leak water? I feel like it was more than 5.
@medz, or… less than zero.
HUGE pass on this…
I Ain’t Gonna Do it!
Nope, I Ain’t Gonna Do It!
@mcemanuel So we got ourselves a serial wiper here eh?
Does this work with Mac?
@wilstev perhaps the big question is whether Mac works with it? (I know, crappy jokes, for crappy junk)
@wilstev I think Mac should work on itself before our high tech bidets thinks about interfacing.
I can’t help noticing the meh faces for tonight and the pepper spray two nights ago.
Meh. I have too many toilets in my life to grant just one of them this fancy necklace.
@melonscoop Agree. I have my own toilet/bathroom, my son has his toilet/bathroom, my husband has his toilet/bathroom and the company has their own toilet. We all get are own throne to sit upon.
@WTFsunshine Wow, a 4 toilet house. You must live in a mansion.
@cengland0 She failed to mention that the 4 toilets are all in a circle in one bathroom.
@warpedrotors I’ve seen a setup kinda like this before.
@melonscoop Once you spoil one you’re gonna have to spoil them all, agreed.
@BioBidet Are you suppose to hold hands, when both toilets are being used, or can you at least talk to each other? That way if you get pissed off, you can get pissed on for good measure.Yea, that’s the ticket!
Highly recommend any bidet with heated water especially if you have trouble “going” if you know what I mean.
Ah! Fuck it! This is meh. No need to genteel. If your constipated, squirting hot water up your ass feels real good and makes you poop!
I applaud your lack of restraint, @squishybrain!
@squishybrain It’ll up your poop game x1,000. Seriously, one of those life altering ‘I’ve been doing this butt cleaning thing wrong my WHOLE life’ moments.
Something stinks!
@pcolachiller
go for the good one, you won’t be disappointed
(unless you don’t have an electric outlet near your toilet)
my spouse and i love ours and converted my brother and his wife on their visit here
@Yoda_Daenerys The electric models do have a short 4’ grounded plug coming out of them but they are safe to use with a common grounded extension cord.
My master bathroom has an outlet up by the vanity like 5’ over. I have a common white extension cord tucked up by the wall with some wire moulding, I never notice it. Looks great, everything works.
The instructions actually say:
“Do not install in a location where water might be splashed on this appliance or in a location exposed to excessive moisture”
and
“To avoid damage to electronic components due to high levels of humidity, provide adequate ventilation by opening a window an/or door when bathing.”
WTF. This is a toilet so of course it will be exposed to water and I’m not opening my window when I’m bathing.
@cengland0 You got us! You caught us on a legal technicality for one of those weird moments where someone thinks they can plug in their bidet and jump into a swimming pool without repercussions. LOL
It’s a machine that’s filled with both water and electrical components. As safe as we can make/design this thing we’re still required to post the obvious warnings of ‘electricity and water shouldn’t be mixed together in a dangerous way.’
It’s all good. It’s safe. It’ll clean you up right.
I have one similar to the “better” option, installed about a year ago. Genuinely surprised at how much I like it. So much so I would actually really consider the “best” option here… if I weren’t so poor post-divorce. Ah well.
@haydesigner sorry(?) about your divorce.
@haydesigner Who got the modded crapper
Me, @cranky1950. I got the house. Paid through the nose for it, but I kept my house.
From sit to shit.
@JT954 to sprit
Are these elongated size or round sized?
@gimpyestrada, elongated.
@gimpyestrada Correct, the UB4800 is in elongated only. The other 2 non-electrics can be installed onto either however.
I recommend reading the manual for the UB-4800 if only for the great DON’T pics:
@dave I like the suggestion to use a toothbrush to clean the nozzles. Preferably someone else’s.
@dave You have no idea how much joy those pictures provide even to the staff here at BioBidet. XD
I’m curious, how many people have an electrical outlet behind their toilet? In all the houses I’ve lived in, I’ve never had a single house with an outlet there.
@cengland0 We’ve got one on the wall to the side of the toilet. tbh, it always seemed a bit odd, but maybe it was put in just for this (or maybe some sort of towel heater thing).
@dave Seems like a good place to charge your phone in case you are in there a long time.
@cengland0 when we bought our current house, we had the builders add an outlet behind each toilet for exactly this purpose.
@cengland0 I guess you’;d have to hire an electrician to do it or at least a handyman I figure
@cengland0 One of my bathrooms here has a receptacle (on a GFCI line) just behind the privacy wall. The other two restrooms do not.
@rychastings Even an electrician would have to either run a fresh wire from the electrical box and I’m running low on available slots or would have to tear up the sheetrock having to run a wire from an existing outlet somewhere. Not worth that much trouble.
I do have one outlet by the sink for electric razors and blow dryers but I wouldn’t want to run an extension cable from that outlet to the toilet. It would look like crap.
@cengland0 These bidets are safe to hook up to an extension cord. I got an outlet by my vanity like 5’ away, used a common white grounded extension cord and secured it to the wall with some moulding. I never notice it.
@cengland0 I had one installed above my toilet to put a TV so I could watch football games on Saturdays while I showered and shaved to go out. All three of my bathrooms happen to have an outlet on the other side of the wall behind the toilet, so it wouldn’t be a big deal for an electrician to tap into them and give me power for a good bidet.
I have no hot water or electrical near my toilet so this sale is a fail. I also can’t buy the cheapest, my ass deserves better.
@michaelahess The UB4800 has a 4’ cord but can be used with an extension cord as well to bring it to the nearest outlet.
Your ass DESERVES a BIO BIDET.
@michaelahess I read the user’s manual; it only requires cold water. I believe it has a heated water tank in it.
The “Better” is one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.
@jet3004 I would think “best” would be the best though
I’m gonna need a 3/8" hot water hose extender. Properly routed, 76" doesn’t reach my toilet without tripping me constantly. I guess it’s off to Home Depot once this thing arrives
@andrewpatrick your toilet has a water supply now, yes? These use a T adapter at the toilet, right?
@medz I don’t know about any other models, but the “better” model requires both hot water and cold. Cold comes up into my toilet right there, but the nearest “hot” hose is from the sink.
@andrewpatrick hmm. My shower takes a few seconds to get hot.
@andrewpatrick i was wondering about this: i have never seen a house w a toilet (no bidet) with hot water pipes to it. Closest is when the shower shares a wall with the toilet (like my current house) but even then the water to the toilet is not coming from that common wall, it comes out a different wall.
So while it all sounds nice, i can’t afford plumbers or electricians adding pipes or GFI outlets so my tush can be warm.
@mollama I’m looking at a home right now where the toilet shares a wall with the laundry room, and there’s a lovely “tankless” water heater right there. Should make for a nice steamy bum.
(Ok, guys, some more fodder for jokes there)
@mollama I’m certainly no expert nor a plumber, but it’s not like I have to open up the walls and route a new pipe. It doesn’t take a genius to turn off my house’s water, run a T-valve from the sink to the toilet, and turn the water back on.
@mollama They exist. Usually not on purpose, however.
Source: http://structuretech1.com/infrared-cameras-home-inspections/
I’ve been super happy with the basic one I bought. I genuinely wish I could afford an upgraded one. Maybe you’ll have some left to offer in a few months.
@moondrake They’re available all the time at biobidet.com Hit us up on twitter or facebook, we might have a coupon code you could use
I just bought one to validate having the electrician install outlets by the toilet when we built our house two years ago.
@MrMark
I can’t think of a reason anyone would need a remote for a bidet. Any controls you might need to use while on the toilet could be right there on the unit. I guess maybe it’s easier to see which button you’re pressing. The remote would be great for pranking anyone unlucky enough to use your toilet. Wait for them to sit down and then just randomly surprise them with a jet of water up their ass. Or is that rape?
@warpedrotors Not rape. Ass-ault.
@warpedrotors One of my first bidet seats had a wireless remote with no writing, but simply cryptic icons. A seal? A square button? A circle?
Used to get a lot of screams during parties.
@warpedrotors Easier to keep it clean. Imagine men pissing in your toilet splashing up toilet water on the controls with the 2 cheaper models. I wouldn’t want to touch those controls after that. Now with the remote, you can leave it on the sink, window sill, or anything else nearby away from the splashing water.
@cengland0 I don’t like to imagine men pissing. Also, there’s no way that remote isn’t getting dropped in the toilet at least twice a year. Not that it needs to fall in the toilet to get dirty. People will be holding it and pushing the buttons while shitting.
@cengland0 They’d have to do some pretty sincere splashing to get to the controls. My guy friends are frankly animals, but I haven’t had to clean piss off the bidet controls yet. The floor, the seat, the front of the porcelain, the container with the toilet brush, the wall (none of this is splashing, just laziness in targeting). It’s less disgusting cleaning up my dogs’ messes than theirs. Boys are gross. These guys cannot be trained to close the fucking toilet no mater how many times I ask or point out that the dog giving them kisses may have just been drinking out of the toilet they left standing open. I wish I was a tech whiz, I’d rig the bathroom door with a lock that wouldn’t open unless the toilet lid was down and the sink had been run.
@moondrake Solenoid door lock, pressure switch on toilet seat lid, flow switch on the faucet, a couple relays … yeah, it can be done.
Soft-closing toilet seats are awesome, BTW.
/image soft closing toilet seat
@narfcake I installed soft closing lids on all my toilets. They are awesome and I forget it’s not standard so when I use someone else’s facilities, I sometimes slam down their lids. Oops.
I’m flush with excitement.
@phendrick
Had these on all my toilets since the 90s, will not EVER give them up.
One use and you realize how disgusting and medieval smearing shit around with paper really is, you’ll wonder why you ever used it.
@droopus You mean you don’t use $100 bills like the rest of us in Congress? Can’t wait to wipe my ass with the tax cut savings I’ll be enjoying off the backs of what used to be your healthcare.
Got 2 of the ‘better’ model. Just couldn’t commit to the $200 model.
How do you use the /buy tag when there are different options like tonight?
/giphy pertinent beige poison
@mike808 Liked for Kronk reference. XD
I have one of the best of another brand. Best purchase ever…and a life changer. The power went off the other day for a few hours…and no bidet. I’m in the market now for a small generator. Just for that.
I was actually thinking about how much I want a bidet just yesterday. Excellent timing, Meh! As a long-time hemorrhoid sufferer, I fully expect to be kicking myself for not doing this sooner.
I ordered the “better” one, just assuming I’ll be able to hook it up. I have absolutely no idea how plumbing works. It only now occurred to me that the hot water is under the sink, in a cabinet, and I rent. I know how to patch drywall, though… hmm…
I will find a way. My body is ready.
/giphy able-fresh-spoon
@currawong You got me here buddy. You need any help at all getting it setup call me at 847.458.2334 or hit up the install videos at biobidet.com
We have the Toto Washlet s350e, a souped-up version of “best” and I will add to the chorus of “life-changing luxury decision” testimonies.
It seems silly to not spend a couple hundred dollars vastly enhancing such an essential, everyday activity.
You sons of bitches. I bought the A3 when it was the best the last time. Can I return it and pay the difference for the nicer one? It’s shitty anyway.
Also I dropped an electrical outlet straight down from the light switch by the toilet. Probably not GFCI compliant, but works fine for the light bidet draw.
Super easy.
@guylee GFCI has nothing to do with current draw; it has to do with safety in event of water contact causing a leakage of current and potential electrocution.
They’re under $15. Replace it.
@guylee Code does vary, sometimes from county to county. However, a GFCI will actually provide ground fault protection for something like 4-8 devices installed AFTER the GFCI. It’s always better to have the actual device be a legit GFCI however.
@BioBidet @narfcake Thanks guys! I think dropping the outlet from the light/vent switch also minimizes the likelihood of an upstream GFCI. I’ll swap 'er out this weekend. Seemed like an elegant solution without drilling through studs and extensive drywall patching.
@guylee Code doesn’t require switches to be on a GFCI circuit, so yeah, it’s very unlikely that it’s currently on a protected circuit.
Stick with a name brand GFCI. Leviton, Cooper, Pass & Seymour, Hubbell … they’ve all been around. I don’t balk on a $13 GFCI over an off-brand $10 one.
@BioBidet The safety is not increased or decreased between a properly wired receptacle downstream of a GFCI or the receptacles on the GFCI itself.
@guylee Best option - put a GFCI circuit breaker in the main wiring box. Then the entire wiring run is protected. Replace the breaker for the bathroom wiring run.
Forgot you rent. Perhaps an existing outlet is before/upstream from the switch? If so, replace that outlet with a GFCI outlet and you’re good. Just hope the switch isn’t on a weird 3-leg run
How do you get power to the best option? I have never seen a power outlet in a bathroom that is down by the toilet.
@jayman007 This has a 4’ power cord but can be safely installed via an extension cord. Just make sure it’s ground, maybe use some wire moulding to secure it to the wall or hide it a little. PERFECTION.
Your butt will thank you.
@BioBidet This is the reason the one I bought 4 years ago is still in the box. You have to get power or on demand hot water to the cheaper ones. And I don’t want my bathroom to look like the Oliver Wendell Douglas mansion.
@BioBidet Unless rated for permanent installation, per the National Electrical Code (NFPA 70), extension cords are for “temporary installation” only.
Devices with over current protection (like surge protectors, many power strips, etc.) are okay, however.
(My day job is fire protection, so I have to know this stuff.)
@narfcake These things can be easily uninstalled and moved in a matter of minutes. I’d say that’s temporary.
@cranky1950 One extension cord does not make Frankenstein’s laboratory IMO. You could always pay an electrician to install an outlet closer specifically for the bidet, if you’re already paying for a premo product then take it the whole 9 yards.
@BioBidet You forgot the quote marks when you said “temporary”.
How do you hook one of these up?
@Dizavid
Between “gross, there’s water spraying on my asshole” and “ughhgghggaaah, it feels like I’m shitting in someone’s lap” I’m finding it hard to imagine a more awful product than your “best” bidet.
I like my shitting to happen with as little water touching me as possible, and on the coldest toilet seat I can find.
@Dweezle Sorry bud, then you’ve been doing it all wrong. Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.
@Dweezle Outhouse in Siberia should fit the bill!
@BioBidet I’ve had warm water splash on my ass. It feels disgusting. I’ve sat on warm toilet seats. It feels disgusting. I’ve been “trying” it all my life. It’s still disgusting.
@Dweezle I feel exactly the same way about warm seats and always had the same reaction to a wet butt UNTIL a year spent in France. After that I got one of the cheaper ones and all I will say is that after one bout of the flu you will be calling it money well spent! Even if you don’t even turn it on 'til then.
These are for Assholes…
@Bumplepimp …and pussies
@Bumplepimp I… I can’t disagree.
FYI, I don’t see it specified one way or another in the literature, but generally you can’t sit on a closed lid on models like the “best” UB-4800. This has kept me from buying one of these as we use the toilet as a seat pretty regularly when doing nails, grooming pets, etc.
Bio Bidet only lists “sittable lid” as a feature on one more expensive model: https://www.biobidet.com/Bidet_Comparison_Chart.html
@Skitals Ugh, you’re so true! We’re currently working with the factory to get sittable lids. Look for improved products from us in the future, we’re always making this shit better.
Why has no one brought up that the “best” model has a massage option?!?!?! Wtf am I massaging? Don’t. I know the answer. I just think it’s gross.
@RedHot Pssh, don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it. It’ll up your poop game X1000.
@BioBidet I think thats fair to say if I’m just using the cleaning option. I don’t think anyone should be expected to try sitting down for a butthole massage much less judged for not trying it. This isn’t a new Korean dish, it’s a stream of water pulsating around your anus.
@BioBidet I’ll stick with the “good” option I think
Sort of off-topic, but I’m getting really frustrated by the reviews on Amazon. Hundreds of reviews for this set of products, but so far I haven’t found a single review for the UB4800 in particular, and there’s apparently no way to filter the review list for a particular product. I’m tired of flipping through pages of reviews, and having seen no comments on the UB4800 at all, I’m not going to spend money on it.
@manualdidact I just checked this out for you and you’re absolutely right. Those reviews all get combined from ALL our non-electric models.
Here, check out the reviews directly from our main page. https://www.biobidet.com/UB-4800__Divine_Bidet_Toilet_Seat.html
@manualdidact On multi-model Amazon listings, you can filter Amazon reviews by the particular model you want. Select the model, then choose “See all verified purchase reviews,” then in the “Filter by” menu change the “All formats” pull-down to select the specific model. The UB4800 has two 5 star reviews here is the direct link
@crafty35a Thanks – I guess the word “Formats” caused that selection to escape my notice; I was looking for something like “Size” or “Product”. TIL.
@BioBidet Yeah, thanks for the link to your own site, where you’ve sorted to put the 5-star reviews at the top. I am on the fence about buying this kind of product, but at this point I’m pretty sure I’m not interested in buying one from your company.
@manualdidact Just to let you know for future reference most reviews are controlled by a third party site. That’s how you can see the same reviews across multiple sites.
Meh sucks so bad now. Despite their snark, etc., quickly going the way of woot.
@obxer They have a LOT more etc. than Woot.
@obxer This item really really sucks, and meh doesn’t do “clearance-off’s”, but they are nowhere close to the level of “yuck” that woot has become. No “moderators from gestapo camp”, the fricken owner posts, and a reasonable variety of “junque”. I will agree they’ve gotten a bit greedy on pricing, but they are a business, so just don’t buy if it’s not a good value to you.
I used to check woot every day within seconds of changeover. I haven’t been on woot for months. I check meh like that now. I can’t see how they are devolving into the 58,724 item a day site like woot?
Good Grief! I need to buy more toilets!!! Love the first ones I bought. Would never be without one now. I actually like the cold water. Soothes my butt, not that it needs soothing.
@Felyne It’s a poop game changer, glad to hear you’re enjoying the #bidetlife.
Simply amazing…
@rustyh3
Umm… The instruction on the best one says nothing about a hot water hookup. Am I reading that right? Does it heat water on the fly?
@bass_pumped yup
@bass_pumped You’re correct sir, a single cold water hookup and the bidet heats that water up for you. CHOICE if you’re living in the colder areas. XD
Sweet fancy Moses, the $400 version better do more than warm my buns and bathe my anus via remote control. I don’t know what that something else would be since I only require my toilet take shit away from the house, but I’m open to suggestions.
And I lived in Japan for 3 years, so I know bidets.
@kcofield More = butthole massage, says so on the remote
@kcofield All the specs are right here.
https://www.biobidet.com/UB-4800__Divine_Bidet_Toilet_Seat.html
You got dual nozzle, touch screen remote, heated tank reservoir, kids/feminine/posterior/massage/wide/aerated sprays, touch screen remote and…
2 YEAR WARRANTY.
Compare that to another company, name rhymes with ‘BOHLER’ who offer a product for x4 that much money with a 1 YEAR WARRANTY.
wat’s up with dat?
@BioBidet You say 2 year here, but the writeup says 1. Can you confirm that it is in fact a 2 year warranty? Seeing as I just purchased the best option, it’d be nice to know you really do have my ass (covered).
Don’t get hung up about the cold vs hot water…coupla reasons. The first blast of “cold” is usually room temp anyway and it’s not uncomfortable (even in winter). And 2nd, it really doesn’t get uncomfortable as the cold water levels off to its normal cold temp.
You ease into it, like dipping your toe into a pool… a feces splattered pool.
The cold water hookup is so easy and less conspicuous too.
@mehvermore Very true. People read cold water and they imagine water from the frigid arctic when it’s really just the sitting water in your pipes.
@mehvermore @BioBidet I have an older Elite 3 with cold water hookup only, and have yet to ever feel that the water is “too cold”.
Still, depending on where and to whose butt, that water can be very very cold. No such issue here in SoCal, though, where it’s going to be over 100 the next few days.
@BioBidet You haven’t experienced the water sitting in my pipes. Brrr!
I think my butt hole is worth more than this. I only trust $500 and up bidets
@Kevin Sure, you want some class for your ass? We got you covered.
https://www.biobidet.com/A8_Bidet_Toilet_Seat.htm
@BioBidet TP ain’t got nothin’ on Biobidet
@Kevin Meh only if you like to shoot yourself in the face now and then.
Bought the A3 one of the last times it was on Meh. Worked maybe 4 or 5 “uses”, then crapped out. The water doesn’t fully disengage the nozzle anymore, so it just sprays water everywhere. And, since this thing also raises the back of the toilet seat, the water has a nice 3/4" gap that it can escape through. All in all, I like the idea of a Bidet but was not impressed by this particular model. Also, I can say the last product image is an accurate depiction of the bidet for anything stronger than say three clicks on the dial.
I don’t get it. Who here thinks a drive through touchless carwash does a great job? Does anyone just spray water on their car and let it air dry??
@teddymid Wait so you wash your car without water? Just take the paper towel and scrub away?
@teddymid Do you think the water coming out is like a drinking fountain or is it more like a shower head?
So would you roll around in mud and just wipe yourself off with a paper towel. BOOM. Clean? XD
@BioBidet touché.
Or rather touché-less.
Flushable wipes from now on. For both my car and my ass.
@teddymid Flushable wipes now, clogged drains later.
I’m still pondering the Kids Mode. Does it splash your butt with baby goat urine?
@MrNews Gross, absolutely not. We use either apple or grape juice. Your choice.
Alright, poop joke time.
When the BioBidet staff goes to Vegas, what’s our favorite game to play?
@BioBidet Hide the Kielbasa? ? ?
@BioBidet Leaving something that STAYS in Vegas.
@BioBidet Wow no takers? Fine. It’s CRAPS.
@BioBidet Sorry. We gamble with shirts here, not with dice.
Finally Meh is offering the product I have been begging for~
@jasonhan102001 Love your bidet and it will love you back. #waterdoesitbetter
$200 bidet on meh? Truly the shark has jumped.
Take a look at what the shark is asking for this at Amazon.
Everyone that buys a bidet will get a little bidet icon beside their name.
The rest will be bidet blacklisted, so to speak.
Got mine on the last sale. Was fairly easy to install, was harder to get the seat aligned but that is not there fault. Took a few tries to find the “spot” but once I did it worked great… Also be careful on the water pressure as they don’t advertise the fact this quickly turns in to a enema machine…
Have gone down to 1 roll of toilet paper every couple of weeks.
Pros: Your ass will thank you.
Cons: You have to clean the nozzle (even with the “self” cleaning feature), I use a toothbrush of my enemies.
Neutral: Hidden Enema Feature.
@darkzrobe Thanks for sharing and you’re absolutely right. I have a single bidet installed in my home with 5 souls in it and we’ve cut down our TP use in half to the tune of saving about $100 per year. Not bad!
No round option for “best”? I might have to buy new toilets just for this.
I bought the “good” model last time called the A3. Its great and I recommend it. Of course I live in Las Vegas where it’s 113 degrees today so the water is very hot. I run it on self clean mode or flush the toilet first to purge some of the hot water from the pipes in the wall before using it!
For those of you in cold climates, purging the pipe will help in winter too to get the cold water out especially if the toilet is on an exterior wall.
Does the deluxe model specify circular or oval toilet? I don’t know anything about that sort of thing, but I do not want the wrong seat or whatever
@koifish The UB4800 will fit an elongated bowl. The good and better will fit round or elongated.
@BioBidet bummer, only circular here. Too bad.
Have the lower end models been redesigned? We had a two knob cold water only version we got from that other site and it was great while it worked, then it wouldn’t shut off anymore and I had to take it out. I think it only lasted about a year.
@nzeeben The non-electrics were redesigned a couple years back. The biggest change was switching to an all brass internal valve. Lesser changes were the knob style and attachment method.
Beyond that, non-electrics still make up a sizeable chunk of our business just due to them being so economical. ANYONE can get a bidet.
You know, I’m sitting on the toilet right now with my laptop and kinda wishing something would wash my butt for me…
@awk Get that bidet and you can do it yourself. #waterdoesitbetter XD
@awk You could order one from the laptop, and just wait for it to show up…
I’m checking the installation instructions, trying to determine if ‘Best’ will work in my bathroom. I’ve got weird Kohler toilets that have failed to fit universal toilet parts in the past so I’m a little overcautious.
Couple questions:
@elms Tagging @BioBidet in hopes that they’ll see this and offer answers for you.
@elms toilets are fairly universal in terms of the seat mounting holes. 18.5 inches would be from the holes to the front.
@elms It’s okay everyone, I’m here!
Great questions! All you need is 1.5" of space between the mounting holes and front of the tank. You also need 5.5" to 7.5" between the toilet seat mounting holes.
I’d say you’re fine here, I’ve never seen a toilet tank that was more narrow than our bidets.
For way more information on sizing and a long list of good/bad models from 8 of the most common toilet manufacturers, hit up http://www.biobidet.com/size-shape.htm.
ub-4800 is it for a round or oval toilets?
@rmishka It’s for elongated toilets.
when I select one there is no option to choose round or oval
@rmishka the good and better fit either, the best is only elongated.
@rmishka Both of the non-electrics will fit either since you’re still going to be using your existing toilet seat/lid.
The UB4800 is elongated only.
Need a round? Not to worry! Hit up biobidet.com and we have other models available that’ll fit round (just not a Meh deal
)
@BioBidet Hi biobidet! Nice to meet you! Stop by more often!
/giphy bidet
@sammydog01 Ah, these videos again. A popular misconception, or perhaps maybe a glitch in much earlier or cheaper models.
Our bidets have an occupancy pressure sensor in either the 5 or 7 o’clock position built into the seat. They will NOT SPRAY unless someone is sitting on the seat (or at the least have their hand over the sensor.) Even if you try to stand up while spraying it’ll shut itself off. No more spraying the walls!
@BioBidet Tell that to giphy not me. He pulled it up.
If I upgraded from the A3 I bought here last time, I wonder if goodwill would accept it?
@jaypeeh One of my other add-on bidets was bought at Goodwill.
/image Hyundai
Wait … wrong Hyundai.
/image Hyundai bidet.
Better option: Do you have a another toilet you can install that one on instead?
@narfcake Jesus lord I wish. We have kind of a weird house that was really small when it was built but added on to a lot over the years before we bought it, so now it’s a decently sized house but with only 1 tiny little bathroom. We want to add another one eventually but we’re dirt broke with a baby on the way so it’ll probably never happen. Oh well. I can handle some cold water. What doesn’t kill my butthole will only make it stronger.
@jaypeeh When I was house hunting, one I ran across was a 4-bedroom + den/1 bathroom house!
@jaypeeh That’s the spirit, XD
Just in time for the forthcoming bathroom renovation post-divorce. It’s about time I take the plunge into bidets. Glad the best option has a kid feature, my two potty trainers will probably end up spoiled forever though. #WhiteCollarDreams
My wife said: Oh, yes, get it!
/giphy meddlesome-raging-minotaur
I went in for the “best” one. My wife’s the doc has recommended a bidet for and I’ve dragged my feet given the pricing. Please don’t be a pile of crap.
@aaronhurt And then I read that the “best” is for elongated toilets… damn. cancelled order and buying the middle one.
@aaronhurt Yeah… I really want the best one, but the a.) don’t have power at the toilet (yet) and b.) don’t have an elongated (yet). Maybe next time… hopefully before winter! Purchased the “good” one last time, no complaints, aside from cold water!
Can I get the “Best” version in my next Fuko?
@dagirlgenius Becareful what you wish for.
@dagirlgenius Maybe a refurb unit or a defective return.
I can’t believe I was making a comment [and had planned to bye the the 4800, most expensive one], and fell asleep, didn’t finish my comment, made a fucking fool, or rather made that fact more apparent, dammit. Even more stupid, I still wanted the high end<yeah, watering ass-wiper.I need to buy a mirror so I can see how Stupid I look, or get the VA 's better Meds!!
Has anyone seen my older comment that I never finished, or does anyone give a shit, OR does anyone have a 4800 for sale? My Mother needs one!! Really, no shit [wipe]!!
I tried to buy this the other day. Thought, finally, I can have a clean asshole after surfing and playing beach volleyball and climbing palm trees in Hawaii, but alas, I filled out all your shitty forms, gave you my whole life story and then clicked on Buy or whatever the hell it says and Damn, it says you can not ship to Hawaii. WTH not? We have smelly bungholes over here too, it’s not all maitai ass and plumeria vag. Even the USPS recognizes that Hawaii is in the US and we can use Priority Mail Fixed Rate boxes just like the dumb people that live in America. Amazon Prime ships free, why doesn’t Meh, which is much bigger than Amazon Prime. Not fair. Please change your policy or at least make an exception in my case, I have an itchy ass and it’s not from ukus. Palm fronds are not a good replacement for toilet paper. I need me some BioBidet. Alooooooha and Mahalos.
@leilanilove We’re bigger than Amazon Prime?! I had no idea!
@troy Nope. Google says otherwise.
https://trends.google.com/trends/explore?q=amazon prime,meh
@leilanilove
Well you are lucky there is no poison ivy in Hawaii
@leilanilove I recommend not rubbing your butt on palm trees. I mean, I know there’s a lack of bidet in your life, but the trees didn’t do anything.
Any chance this will be available again? I’d love to try one of these (either the good or better) out, and you seem to have the best deals on them!
@davidhhh They are available on sister site Morningsave for just a few $ more. Be sure to check out the membership deal to get all your Morningsave shipping for just $2 a month.
@gio are you trying to get stars? Because this is how you get stars.
FYI, if you bought the “better” model and can’t get hot water to it (even with the included 70" hose), you can just leave the hot inlet disconnected. It doesn’t dribble or anything.
@Gideon_Grim Confirm this. Exactly how I installed mine.
FYI - Costco has the Bio Bidet USPA 6800 Luxury Bidet Reg $400, on sale for $250 for a while at least.
Is anybody else disappointed? I installed mine (the electric model) on a toilet right next to a full sized, old fashioned, stand alone bidet, so I had less of a need for this than most, but it isn’t doing anything that I’ve been wanting an electric bidet seat to do.
The biggest issue is the temperature. I switched from using my old bidet to using disposable moist towelettes because it was a pain to fiddle with the faucets to get the temperature right. I first tried this bidet yesterday on the lowest temperature setting and it was too cold so I raised it to medium. Today, I tried it again and it was a great temperature for about 5 seconds and then went cold. I guess ‘cold’ is a relative term. This is Miami in the summer, so it is tolerable, but I could have just used my old bidet if I were going to just use cold water. I changed it to the hottest setting for tomorrow morning, but maybe @BioBidet can tell me if I am doing something wrong. I saw two lights over the temperature setting (now three), so I think it was set to medium (now hot).
The second biggest reason I wanted a bidet toilet seat was for the heated blow dry. When my sciatica flares up, bending and twisting my spine to reach my nether regions irritates the sciatic nerve root, especially in the mornings because that’s when the discs are swollen with fluid. Reaching to dry myself is just as bad a reaching to clean myself. It’s my fault for not reading the description more carefully, but in my limited research prior to the sale, I had never heard of an electric toilet seat that didn’t have a hot air dryer.
The remote control was a big selling point for me because the faucets on the old bidet are on the back, so you have to twist around to reach them (or take your pants off to sit facing the back). That irritates the sciatic nerve root when my sciatica is acting up. The problem is the remote control has been very frustrating. I push the button and nothing happens. There is no button to move, there is no click, there is no beep, there is no light, there is no water coming out to clean me. I push it harder and there is still nothing. Next, I push as hard as I can and hold it for several seconds until my knuckles turn white. Eventually, the water starts, but I don’t know if it’s because I pushed so hard, or held it, or if it takes a minute to get going. I looked at the manual and I didn’t see any explanation. Maybe @BioBidet can help here. Has anybody else had this problem? This really made me wish I could just say “Siri, clean my butt.” Why doesn’t this thing have wifi? At least the fanciest version should come with an app for all the obscure settings that you don’t change often.
A minor feature that is available on fancy toilets (and the toilet seats made by Kohler and Toto) is a powered seat lift. When I wake up in the morning it’s much easier to pee standing up. It would be nice to just push a button on the remote or say a command to raise the seat rather than having to bend over to lift it. I know the seat isn’t heavy, but on some mornings my back is stiff when I first wake up. The Kohler seat will also automatically lower the seat and lid two minutes after you leave so your wife wont complain about the seat being up. This feature isn’t huge, but would be a nice luxury. I guess the people willing to pay for that kind of luxury don’t shop at Meh, so I can’t hold this against you.
I’ve noticed that most of these toilets don’t include soap. Am I the only person who thinks that would be nice? Is there a reason not to include it? If your hands get dirty do you just rinse it in water or do you wash it with soap?
@Neil I’ve never used a bidet before, but I wouldn’t ever think of washing my hands in one. Maybe that’s why a soap dispenser isn’t very popular?
Heck if you’re going to use it like a sink, why not use it to brush your teeth and wash your face while you’re at it?
KuoH
@Neil Maybe you need a Shiney Hiney?
/image shiney hiney
@Neil Wow, I really appreciate all this vital feedback, we certainly do look at what our customers want and consider it in our later models.
The most basic thing you can do that’ll correct 90% of the issues with the bidet is a basic reset of the unit, unplug and plug back in after a few seconds.
We HAVE considered motorized lifting seats/lids but this adds quite a bit of bulk to the design while we were looking for designs that are more sleek. We were exploring other ways to activate the bidet including voice and syncing to your phone (because who goes to the toilet without theirs) and this might be something we will explore in the future once the American bidet market matures a bit more.
Our BBi3000 model DOES have a small soap dispenser that feeds a small amount of soap into the water stream but we haven’t put this into other models just yet.
If you feel your unit is still acting up beyond normal troubleshooting tips, please call us, we’ll be happy to help.
Kuo: Wow, for somebody who doesn’t wash his butt, you spent a lot of time reading about how I do mine.
@Neil Didn’t seem like a lot of time to me, I skipped to the end. Also I was on the throne anyway so I had time to spare.
KuoH
@BioBidet - I love my top of the line model! It plugged right in to an outlet just above toilet. Works great. One question. It says to only use cloth and water to clean seat. Won’t disinfect. Can I use Clorox wipes?
@nickm461 We recommend more natural and VERY light chemicals, like Simple Green. Even water + vinegar can potentially discolor the ABS. If you want more details, call us.