Best ways to get rid of telemarketers
13Inspired by @lisaviolet's great story here: https://meh.com/forum/topics/congratulations-meh-references-to-the-site-include-an-explicitnsfw-warning#5409d90ce6156d18083aac1f
I remembered the greatest story I've ever heard about stopping a telemarketer:
That man is amazing- I do feel a little bad for the person because that encounter must've ruined their day, but it's an amazing story.
Got any other tips on stopping the telemarketers?
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How to deal with a Telemarketer by Tom Mabe:
Say "Hold on..."
Then hang up.
I have several videos on YouTube about my dealings with telemarketers. This one is my personal favorite where I turned the tables on the telemarketer. Messing with them is a personal hobby of mine. I go as far as sign up for contests at malls just to ensure they will call.
"Rachel from cardholder services" has called me sometimes as many as ten times in a day for the past five years. Sometimes they call me a horribly offensive name and hang up, but other times they're resilient. I once had a woman talk to me for fifteen minutes trying to lower my credit, despite the fact that i used a ridiculous redneck accent, told her i had no shipping address because I'm a trucker that "likes to stay off the grid," or that my name was Dale Earnhardt Schniggowitz.
In all seriousness, the title story is just awful. Yeah it seems funny, but that person was just doing their job. The IT impersonator just took away the caller's ability to work, earn commission, and possibly got him/her into trouble with management. That sucks.
Yeah it was a funny story, but c'mon. Don't fuck with someone's job.
To answer your question, a simple "no thank you" would suffice.
@MotherMaia Sorry but no thank you never works for me. Never, ever, ever!
@jimmyd103 : That's b/c you don't hang up after saying "No Thank you". Just say it and click. It's polite, respectful to someone trying to feed their family and you don't stay on the line wasting time-- yours and theirs.
@MotherMaia I respect this but I think I find it allowable to be rude as a way to indicate to the employee that they should move to a different job ASAP. Keeping the company efficient and turnover low is absolutely not my concern and the most ambitious telemarketers have been brainwashed to thinking I'm not human anyways.
That said, the most enjoyable turn of events for me is to ask where they work, how big the telecenter is and how other employees like it. All of a sudden it feels like you could lead all their staff to revolt with the right words. Mostly I just tell them something like "you're doing a great job - you should find a better gig as people hate what you're selling here." Polite and efficient to my belief of what they need, not the needs of the company employing them.
@MotherMaia Some of these companies are very annoying. I can cite several examples, including one that called yesterday "from Microsoft" because they "detected a virus" on my computer. Incidentally, I don't run Windows. This only way to deter these companies is to make it less profitable for them so search for victims by increasing economic friction, and the only way to do that is to make it less efficient for them to process calls and/or go from call to call. It is just the same as spam.
@snapster Problem w/ that is some people can't find other jobs. Would you rather have them on the dole ?
@ceagee I don't let any fear of social charity drive my capitalism. I believe in social charity at the failure of capitalism but not before it is tested.
@ceagee exactly right!
@dude one that called yesterday "from Microsoft" because they "detected a virus" on my computer. That's different than a telemarketer, though. That's a criminal.
@MotherMaia Annnnd then they sell your phone number to a list service as a valid phone number with a person who answers. You just made 10 more lists just by answering.
@MotherMaia Wrong. If their job involves harrasing people then screw them.
Please put me on your do not call list. Thank you.
@DaveInSoCal That's what I do. Either I just don't answer the phone (if I don't know who's calling, I rarely answer) or I just ask them to take my name off their list. So far, it's worked just fine.
@PurplePawprints except when the entire thing is automated which I have gotten a few of those in the last couple of days (despite being on the do not call list)… then there is no human to tell you to remove you. In those cases I figure tie up their computer as long as possible and just leave the phone off the hook until they self hang up and I get that annoying beeping telling me to hang up my phone.
I'm the kind of person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt. I often sit through the call listening to the schpeal. When I have the opportunity in the conversation I say "I'm not interested." Never has the call terminated there. Eventually you have to be forceful or they will keep you on the phone all night long. TL:DR I'm only a jerk at the end of these calls.
@jimmyd103 Yeah, you sometimes do have to be forceful. I usually try not to let them waste their time giving me the spiel and will (politely) cut them off pretty quickly and tell them I'm not interested and to remove me from the list. If they start trying to 'sell' again, I repeat myself, tell them to have a nice day, and hang up. Especially in the current job market, I know people sometimes have to take whatever job they can get, no matter how much it sucks, so I try not to be a total bitch to them.
@jimmyd103 No one can keep you on the phone if you just hang up.
Caller ID is awesome. If it says "Unknown Caller" I don't answer. I've probably accidentally talked to a telemarketer three times in the past fourteen years.
@SSteve I wondered why you never answer my calls ! I have blocked ID ;-)
I get these calls that state that I have won some sort of big prize like a cruise or a car. I act super stoked like I'm totally buying into I just won it for real. I let them go on for awhile. Then I ask if there is anyway I can trade my prize for something else I need. I promise the prize I want will cost them a lot less. They always ask "What prize would I like?" This is what I say... "I need 1 new tire. My house has a flat and I got hurt this morning because I rolled out of bed and hit the floor because it tilted over so bad". This has never failed getting rid of them so far!
I also found that if you begin with telling them you rent a trailer in a trailer park and your late on your rent. Can you guys see if they reported me to those credit looker upper thingies? Usually they just hang up cause they know your not buying shit at that point.
Federal Trade Commission - Robocall advice
Robocall
I worked as a telemarketer for a couple weeks (including one week of training) -- selling vacation packages to exotic destinations like Branson, MO.
In training everything seemed straight forward -- I didn't feel like they were teaching me to manipulate people. I don't remember the specifics, but once I got on the phones I felt like my job was to trick people into buying. The people who stayed on the phone and purchased were just sad or clearly not making a good decision.
The sales floor environment was engineered to get you to focus on yourself and destroy your compassion for others. I had to quit for my sanity, but we were quite poor at the time and it was very risky move to do so.
So, I have no idea whether it's better to mess with telemarketers or not. Most of the time people land on their feet if they quit or get fired... but what if they end up homeless? On the other hand, if you keep them on the line longer you might be saving someone who really shouldn't be buying what they're selling. Either way, I don't think you should feel responsible for other people's decisions.
@katylava I recently resigned from my job for similar reasons: preserve my sanity, stop exploiting people for someone else's gain... there were a lot of health and safety issues too. Now I've started getting calls from telemarketers trying to recruit me to become a telemarketer too and I've politely declined. But as time goes on I've started feeling a little guilty- like I'm not in a position to turn down any job but it just seemed like one of those "out of the frying pan..." kind of situations. So thanks for confirming for me that it would have been a lateral move at best and maybe I can hold out a little longer :)
@katylava There are few things as scary and rewarding as leaving a soul sucking job.
For the past ten years or so, I've known this guy named David Blevins. He sounds like he might be mildly retarded and likes to get to know telemarketers. He shops primarily at Kmart and wants to send cookies to people he talks to on the phone. He only shows up when telemarketers call and disappears after hanging up the phone.
Oddly enough, telemarketers don't call more than one time. I also think my wife has the hots for him.
https://www.donotcall.gov/
It's just too easy. Thanks big bro!
@TheAlmighty1 I wish. I'm on the list but I still get frequent calls. They're illegal calls, but as long long as spammers can spoof numbers, they'll keep coming.
@Moose This thread was referring to legitimate salespersons. I think we'd all support you harassing the people offering you a free cruise for your social security info
@TheAlmighty1 Donotcall doesn't work. I've been on donotcall since its inception, and no matter how many times I put myself on the list, I still get the calls- especially the robocalls and the ones where they mask their numbers to things like 000-000-0000 or 555-555-5555.
@CircaRigel Then you should stop signing up for those $1 million dollar giveaways at the mall with the shiny pink car.
Boating Air Horn, pocket size, works every time
It's not telemarketing but I once answered the door with a very large pet snake around my neck when Jehovah's Witnesses showed up. They ran from the house, screaming that the devil was trying to strangle me.
@CircaRigel LOL Does that work with other door to door religious sales people?
@Kidsandliz probably not the ones that do snake-handling but I don't know that they go door to door.
@CircaRigel I had someone come to my door w/ a religious pamphlet that said something about "Life After Death". I asked in an excited voice, "Is this about zombies?" To which he replied, "no sir, this is about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ..." I interrupted him and in a disappointed voice I said, "oh, that's too bad, I thought it was about zombies. Well, thanks anyway, you have a nice day now" and closed the door in his face. Then I laughed and laughed and laughed.
@CircaRigel About ten years ago I was approached by Jehovah Witnesses as I was just getting home from "one of those days" and I was more curt than usual. The woman asked me if I'd like to be put on their "no visit" list, I said "Yes, please," and we've never had another visit from them. Now we just need to get the Morman missionaries to start keeping a similar list.
@Kidsandliz No... the Mormons liked the snake. Avon lady was petrified, though.
@CircaRigel With the religious door knockers, if they aren't intimidated by my 140lb Great Dane, I tell them they have 60 seconds to tell me something related to their proseletyzation that I haven't ever heard before, and if they can do that I will let them in. I haven't ever had to let any in. I only ever got one that surprised me. He said he was just stopping by to let me know that he was the new pastor for the church down the street, that even if I wasn't a member of his congregation I could call on him for help any time, and to remember that God loves me. That guy blew me away.
I got rid of my landline and shook off most of these guys in doing so. But my best friend and I foolishly bought a time-share (it was actually a good deal but still a bad decision) and that time-share got sold to a huge holding company (that also owns Marriott) so now I get calls on my cell all the time for time-share vacations. I could probably make them take me off the list but I am marginally interested in them as they can be good deals. The problem is that they are all too far away to make the savings worth the cost of travel. So now when they call I interrupt their opening spiel by asking them if they have anything west of the Mississippi that isn't Vegas, as we already have a Vegas timeshare. They hesitate and say no. I tell them we are not interested in travel east of the Mississippi because the airfares are too high, but they are welcome to call me back when they have an offer on my side of the country. There's not much argument to be made so they politely disengage.
I just uploaded another telemarketer call I received. This time is was a scam claiming to be Wal-Mart.
Answer with the end of a conversation:
"... Then I told her, the problem isn't the length but the depth, and she hung up on me, can you believe that?" then when the dipwad replies with a 'huh?' ask him if he wants to purchase a used condom.. "Only been used once".. Do that and he'll probably hang up on you.
Back in the days when telemarketing was new and you would frequently get calls during dinner trying to get you to change your phone service, my parents had a friend who, when asked if he wanted to save money on his phone service, would respond that they had too much money and were trying to spend as fast as they could. Back then the telemarketers weren't as sophisticated and that would usually throw them for a loop.