I immediately imagined a hand holding a number two pencil and twisting it left and right. The and was holding the pencil at the tip kind of like a screwdriver.
Your wife and your lawyer are together in your backyard when one trips and they both unexpectedly fall into the pool. Neither of them can swim, and they're well into the deep end - they'll never make it to the side to pull themselves out. They're struggling, and sinking fast. You jump up from your seat overlooking the patio and spring into action . . .
You realize you have an immediate choice to make - do you go to lunch, or go see a movie?
That's head-shake worthy and gross. Great combination.
You did it Irk, you made me LOL! Thanks, I really needed that.
Irk's :O face is hilarious 1:25
My first platoon sergeant would use a variant of that second one all the time, so I can attest that it's at least 30 years old.
Heard about corduroy pillows? They're making headlines.
These hot cakes, they're selling like ... well ... like ...
(Driving past a cemetery) That's the most popular joint in town. People are dying to get in there.
A two-fer! Also answered the Michigan question.
Thanks for answering me, Irk. Here's a bonus for your trouble:
Did you hear about the two thieves that stole the calendar? They each got six months.
@ACraigL I was going to look for my missing wristwatch.... I never could find the time.
I think Irk has a crush on T. Humperchick.
@beachbum You don't? Weirdo.
@ACraigL I think she's funny as hell.
@beachbum @ACraigL
I immediately imagined a hand holding a number two pencil and twisting it left and right. The and was holding the pencil at the tip kind of like a screwdriver.
You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
Say what you will about deaf people.
German sausages are the wurst.
@JonT Deutsche Wurst ist mir wurst. :) - Translates to "I don't care about German sausages". Which hits the nail on the head since I'm vegetarian.
@JonT hey! I'm blind and I really take offense... oh, hell, I'm not a prostitute so I don't care! :P
This is one of the simplest and sweetest answers to an Ask Irk ever. Well done.
This is probably my favorite:
For those who don't know, we have a Joke Thread, 'cause we're bad like that: https://meh.com/forum/topics/the-joke-thread
@joelmw I have never seen anyone who also loved the string joke... Most people run when I tell it far away. Some have never been seen since.
@jennkaotic You're better off without them. ;-)
http://s7d5.scene7.com/is/image/vermontcountrystore/10308_12?id=cyJrm2&fmt=jpg&fit=constrain,1&wid=200&hei=480 Just saying...
Your wife and your lawyer are together in your backyard when one trips and they both unexpectedly fall into the pool. Neither of them can swim, and they're well into the deep end - they'll never make it to the side to pull themselves out. They're struggling, and sinking fast. You jump up from your seat overlooking the patio and spring into action . . .
You realize you have an immediate choice to make - do you go to lunch, or go see a movie?