April 11th - "Of bullies and goats"
7Preface: Galactic Goat isn’t a bodybuilder. In fact, he’s quite thin.
He’s not a young goat either, though still much closer to 1 than 100, the Goat matured beyond the boisterousness of youth some time ago. Maybe attributed more to the miles than the years. Galactic Goat has lived quite a bit of life during his time on this planet. This has made him a mellow goat. A very, very calm, accepting, mellow goat.
Of bullies and goats
While visiting Burger King for lunch today, it was kind of a shock for Galactic Goat to be threatened with physical violence. Apparently the Goat failed to show the proper respect to a young, bold bull, and didn’t kowtow out of the way as the bull walked by. The Goat wasn’t being obstinate, he was just… “being”. When confronted, the Goat simply said “sorry” and looked back at the menu board.
Not to be dismissed, the bull got up in the Goat’s grill and started spouting profanities. Still a bit surprised by the bull’s behavior, Goat just sort of… stood there. So bull pushed closer. Nose to nose with Goat. And still… Goat, not sure what the fuss was all about, continued to stand there. Chest to chest now, bull red in the face, spitting as he spouted his endless stream of profanity. Finally! The Goat had an “ah hah!” moment. “Double cheeseburgers! I’ll have a couple double cheeseburgers!”
Galactic Goat learned two very important lessons today at Burger King.
- Bullies don’t like it when the old scrawny goat doesn’t run away from them when they puff up and act the fool
But the most important lesson learned today
- Burger King double cheeseburgers are really more like sliders than actual burgers! Not much larger than the size of a White Castle burger or Peter Pan quarter burger.
Take it from Galactic Goat: if you’re looking for a meal rather than a snack, avoid the Burger King double cheeseburger.
Love and sprinkles and all that rainbow stuff @mfladd loves,
Oh, and in case you were wondering… bull, unsure what was going on… yelled a last string of profanities, and stomped out the door.
- 8 comments, 25 replies
- Comment
You better not call them sprinkles when you tag @mfladd.
@RiotDemon I was paraphrasing.
@ruouttaurmind @RiotDemon has given sound advice here.
Galactic Goat:
(in a calm and soothing voice) You have erred in your terminology of small confectionery treats as “sprinkles”. The galactic goat must have space fever. The correct term is “jimmies”. (Dark Goat thinking to himself - they are FUCKING JIMMIES ASSHOLE!)
I am hoping your fever will clear on it’s own, or under the worst circumstances possible I will be forced to cleanse this infection by FUCKING MILKING YOU!
And neither of us want that. Long live the “Jimmy”!
@mfladd milking a male goat must be interesting.
@RiotDemon It’s mostly just sad, for the milkee and the milker
@mfladd the milkee might like it.
@mfladd
Where I grew up, “jimmy” has less to do with cupcakes and more to do with that pic you posted.
/giphy wink wink nudge nudge say no more
@giphy, you’re requiring entirely TOO MANY keywords to find a relevant gif. This is unacceptable under the terms of your engagement here. We need to see immediate improvements or we’ll be forced to reexamine your value to the organization.
@mfladd
Hey @mfladd!
When you’re done milking those goats, I got some cattle that wanna meet ya.
/image “Longhorn bull”
I’m glad he finally walked away. People like that make me laugh. It just proves how sad their life must be if they have to get so angry over stupid things.
@RiotDemon I was absolutely not trying to be obstinate or whatever, I just didn’t understand what this bloke was on about and I wanted some lunch. That didn’t fit into his modus I guess.
I suspect he’s the sort that gets jollies from making skinny little chumps back down, but I wasn’t really connecting to his game. I knew it was going to hurt like hell if he lost it and belted me, but I just didn’t really react to it. I guess I just didn’t really care.
Thank goodness he didn’t actually hit me though. I don’t have medical insurance and wouldn’t have an easy time paying medical bills. THAT would have been my biggest fear.
@ruouttaurmind if there were witnesses, he’d be paying your medical bills and more. This is America and we know how to wield an attorney as a tool of destruction “better” than anybody.
@ruouttaurmind @RedOak also most states have “victim” insurance that pays the medical bills of someone who was the victim of a crime (that is not their fault) if they have no insurance.
@Kidsandliz never heard of that. Sounds like something the Republic of Cailfornia would do. Or the comrades in the union of NY.
@RedOak
I hate to stereotype, as I also am frequently mistaken for someone I am not, based solely on my appearance.
But I’m guessing trying to sue this guy for anything would be like dipping a dry well. Beat up old pickup truck, worn out boots and old clothes, clearly a tradesman of some sort (paint, drywall, ladders in the back of his truck). Probably a hard working guy, but just isn’t very successful with whatever he does.
Fortunately everything resolved itself in the best possible manner. He got himself all upset and left without even getting his lunch. I didn’t get all upset, and considered this an amusing distraction as I surveyed my dining options. Honestly, the worst part of the entire lunchtime experience was those damn double cheeseburgers! I should have called the police about THAT because I think I got ROBBED! Next time I feel like a burger I’m going to drive the extra mile and see if Wendy’s is any better.
@RedOak Idaho has it…
@ruouttaurmind Wendy’s is better, but not quite as good as they were a couple of decades ago when the founder was still alive.
And bravo for your handling of the bully.
@duodec TY. I appreciate it.
RE: Wendy’s, I think their peak was about 8-10 years ago when I could get a “1/4 pound double stack” for a buck. Decent quality (though maybe not as good as when Dave was still at the helm), good selection and fair prices. Now, their “buck menu” has all but disappeared, becoming the “value menu” with little to choose for under a couple bucks. Still, a better option that BK, but not as summoning as that broccoli cranberry salad at the market!
I start by being nice and trying to solve whatever, but I won’t be pushed around. If the entire matter is beyond rationality, I might walk away, but I will not yield to the madness or back down in so doing.
If polite rationality and graciousness are useless, and I can’t simply walk out of the situation or that would be not useful or appropriate, I usually ignore; or if that’s impossible, I may refer the matter to a manager or employee at that location or something.
When someone gets in my face and won’t leave, I ask them to leave.
After a few attempts at being decent have not helped, if I can’t leave or refer or ignore, my mind goes into combat mode. I tend not to lose, which is a little scary. This is a skill gained late in life.
I have been known to ask certain irrational and persistent persons if they ever intend to become adults at any points in their lives. Or similar. That’s when my sarcasm gets the better of me. My sarcasm likes to escalate, once it gets loose. It can escalate a lot.
I can usually make people seriously want to escape from my vicinity very very quickly by just being politely sarcastic, all while sounding a bit like a professor, and by appearing to be a bit amused.
I’m not terribly proud of this tactical response. It means I have let a desire for domination take over my emotions to an extent, so that I’m going for a “win” as much as for a solution. I try to avoid. Moral hazard for me, allowing that in myself. Because unless they become violent, they can’t deal with me at that point, and I don’t lose my cool. If, during all this, the other party de-escalates, I instantly do also. I become friendly and conciliatory. I try to offer opportunities for de-escalation: these are not only useful for the confrontation; they also serve to keep me focused on the real desired outcome.
The great tactical strength when nasty confrontation can’t be avoided (imho) is refusing to get angry or respond in kind, but instead, acting more and more like a curious visitor from outer space while speaking politely to them, but if they don’t back off, the words might just sting a bit - or a bit more than that. This is a late in the game thing for me to get into. It’s ethically questionable - but so is this person getting in my face.
I will later apologize to any person present during my sarcastic or scathing episode, or during any kind of unpleasantness, including apologizing to the target of my remarks, if I ever see them again. If I allow that response in myself, it’s bad karma (by which I mean it’s destructive emotional self-indulgence); and it’s poor self-control, and poor empathy. Amends are totally owed to all. Fortunately, that sort of conduct in me only comes out a few times a decade.
The techniques are going to vary depending on whether the irrational person appears willing to escalate. Also, I think males and females can often use somewhat differing tactics to avoid escalation, when confronting someone who might escalate to a dangerous level, in our culture, tho this assumption is hardly foolproof.
No one has ever punched me or anything. I’ve had someone punch a car, tho not my car. But he started by punching his car as soon as he jumped out of it to scream at me, and kept punching his car the whole time. So that was his thing. My crime, in this instance, was refusing to respond to his tail-gaiting and his leaning on his horn, because he wanted to drive 40 mph down the parking aisles of a very crowded Walmart parking lot, very near the store, with lots of pedestrians and child pedestrians present with 30 feet or so.
Store security got interested, at which point he jumped back in his car and managed to get around me, and escaped the parking lot, appearing to go well over 60mph. I was just glad he was gone, and glad he didn’t manage to hit something or someone with his car. Store security called the police.
Of course, I’m mostly the nicest person ever.
Esp to @mfladd, who is such a softie.
Now @mfladd. Dear @mfladd.
Get back into your corner right this instant and stay there, or I’ll remove your brain functions again!!!
Please!!!
There. I said “Please”. See how nice I am?
/giphy please
@f00l Perhaps there are just too many miles between my now and my impetuous youth, but this was such a foreign experience for me.
@ruouttaurmind
I don’t encounter a true crazy very often. One screamed at me the other day tho, bigtime. He was behind me in the right turn lane, and wanted me to turn right on red.
Only there was this big sign saying “No Turns On Red Light” or similar.
I pointed out the sign. He kept screaming for a bit. There are always a few.
I managed to hold my fire w this one. I just told him I wouldn’t turn until the light changed.
It’s really best not to get into combat mode unless there’s no other possible way.
I learned i could do combat mode when I got sick of being picked on as one of many targets in a work situation (by the owner): in part because, this person did it to everyone; and also in part because I tended to stay silent and polite during his verbal assaults. To this person, my non-confrontational response at that time was like blood in the water for him. He just got more rabid.
One day I had enough - not pre-planned, I just went “no more” to myself - and I just kept notching up words on the absurd scathing scale - gently at first, then more notably obvious. At first he was astonished and re-doubled.
Then there was this look on his face when he realized I could easily dominate him verbally, and would escalate this match him if he didn’t quit attacking. Then he started threatening. I told him that his actions were his choice, and I hoped he considered carefully what course to choose before acting.
There were no witnesses. He made a few more threats and then walked away. And after that he was clearly wary or afraid of me - and I didn’t even say anything really ugly or demeaning to him during the episode. I just stuck the the facts in a slightly exaggerated style.
He wouldn’t even attack others when I was around after that. Whatever I did or said - I can’t remember now - must have been effective.
But I had to keep learning way way past that. Elementary self-defense is just a baby step. Once i learned how to defend myself, I then had to learn how to not need to resort to that. And how to tune down a bad scene into a salvageable or even possibly positive conversation. I had to learn how to defend myself, using words and posture as tools to create positivity, rather than as weapons.
Other than with this boss, I can’t - just can’t - be scathing to people I know personally, or know thru social connections. I just can’t do that - be less that respectful - to someone’s face, if they are part of my world, or are in any other state besides being either crazy, or currently committing some sort of evil, such as obviously bullying someone else.
And even then, it’s kinda a failure to “go there”. Sure, I’m gonna “win”. But win what? That I dominated someone out of control? That’s not exactly solving the problem.
There are always next steps after that to really make things better. It’s not Hollywood where you have a clever comeback, and then the scene ends.
What I have learned is: if someone is being mean or irrational or crazy or manipulative or unfair: all ensuing conversation happens on my terms and on the terms of what I hope are “the better angels of our nature” (thx, Lincoln). And from an enforced rational and decent perspective of my choosing. I will not play their games, or allow them to set the conversational and logical terms, ground, and assumptions. I always own the logical grounds of the conflict. I will insist they meet adult standards of discourse, fairness, and decency. I utterly reject all “alternative facts”. I try hard to be fair to their POV, while rejecting conduct and attitudes that don’t measure up.
Of course no one owns perfection here, least of all me. I just do my best. If, afterwards, something bothers me about what I said or did, I apologize. Apologizing does not mean yielding on other issues. That is separate.
And of course, I don’t see all, or most, of my own flaws. I just try to do well and be as aware as I can.
I will not yield control to someone who wants to push irrationality or manipulation or meanness in an ugly way. I do not lose control of these sorts of conversations.
@f00l I once had a boss who always tried to pick a fight with people. He was aggravated beyond belief that he couldn’t do that with me. What he didn’t know was that after working with adjudicated youth and raising a really troubled kid, having a bunch in foster care, etc. it is very difficult to push my buttons. And he wasn’t very good at picking a fight either. I know a bunch of kids who could have done a far better job of picking a fight than he could LOL.
It is entertaining to screw with some of those people too - pretending to misunderstand, sounding sincere in thanking them for their suggestions/advice when they were being an asshole telling you how stupid you are, etc… The best was when a boss was a jerk over 4 copies I made for someone else so they wouldn’t have to walk to the other side of campus to make those copies. She had a cow and was screaming at me. So later I brought her a ream of paper (she had no idea it was one of ours I had stashed in case the copier ran out of paper in the evening) and sweetly told her it was from the person I had helped out to replace the paper and toner used. She started sputtering as she couldn’t figure out how to be snarky about it as I had so blind sided her. LOL
If I had been there I would have bought your lunch. Ghandi would be proud.
@sammydog01
Dunno what that’s on about?? It said “Blushing Goat” but that’s more like a DIY goat. Maybe I’m supposed to color up the face with a little rouge? Silly interwebs…
It has been a very long time since we have set foot in a McDonalds, bane of global health. I recall the last time I tried a Big Mac, not only did I gag on the salt content, but the truly tiny size shocked me. Especially at the $4-5 price. Not the size I recall when I was younger and dumber.
@RedOak I don’t often eat lunch, and even more infrequently go out to lunch. Unfortunately there are relatively few affordable options near my office (located in a somewhat rural, affluent area). There’s a Dairy Queen very close, Burger King is about a 3 or 4 mile drive, and Wendy’s another mile or two beyond that. Everything else in down caters to the resort and tourist community. $12-$15 plus tip for lunch is more than I can usually justify.
There is a market near the Wendy’s though, and sometimes I will dip in there and get some broccoli cranberry salad or their awesome penne chicken salad from the deli counter. Mmmm! Now THAT’S eatin’, my friend!!
@ruouttaurmind hah! Of course there’s always bring it from home. My favorite for health and cheapskate price. And time savings. #NoLinesNoBullies
Galactic Goat: Dark goats abhor bullies and applaud the way you handled yourself. Youth in some bulls, especially those who have their own inner demons, fear and insecurities manifests as bullying. They show aggression toward others because they lack the knowledge or mental skills to handle these deficits otherwise.
They will learn their life lessons the hard way. The good news is someday the young bull will challenge another who does not have your temperament or restraint and kick his ass. While I do not condone this - fuck it - I hope he gets his ass kicked. Sometimes they need this.
Chalk it up to life and that these little things rear their ugly heads from time to time.
We can only hope
@mfladd Eloquently said. Thank you for this.
Sometimes the assholes in life cross your path. Not your fault. Lucky you got out of this in one piece.
I had someone decide, for reasons unknown as I was minding my own business in the slow lane going 10 above the speed limit in TX, come up behind me and tailgate about 3 inches from my rear bumper. I kept my speed perfectly steady and ignored him. I finally slowed down to the speed limit (doing it slowly so I wouldn’t be rear ended). Then he passed me and jammed on his brakes. I made the mistake of, finally, trying to pass him. He sped up to 90+ and so I dropped back and jammed on my brakes (no other cars around) so that if he did that too I would be far enough back that it wouldn’t be an issue. We were rounding a curve in the road at the time and bingo karma got him. He got pulled over for, I presume, speeding.
@Kidsandliz Squashed by the karmic backlash.
@woodhouse
Twilight Zone (reboot) - S01E10a - The Shadow Man
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x54qtq0