Hey, I wanted to give you all an update on the refunds for the IRKs from the 3/31 Meh & SideDeal events, but the update was very boring. So instead I’ve asked our friendly AI to write a more interesting report for you all:

The IRK Refund Chronicles - A Journey Through Time and Space

Greetings, esteemed SideDeal and Meh customers!

Today, we embark on a rollercoaster ride of excitement and adventure, as we unravel the mystery surrounding your missing $49.99 IRK refunds. It’s a tale that transcends time, filled with cryptic codes, secret societies, and daring escapades.

As you may remember, we recently had an offer for our $50 Instant Regret Kits (IRKs) on SideDeal, alongside a Meh-rathon on Meh. Those who spent at least $49.99 on Meh and bought the $50 IRK on SideDeal were instructed they’d get a $49.99 refund. Little did we know, however, that these refunds held the key to an ancient enigma.

Our accounting department, under the guidance of Captain Numbercruncher, stumbled upon a centuries-old cipher hidden within the financial records. Decoding this message led our team to the doorstep of a secret society, the Guardians of the Refund, who had safeguarded the lost refunds in a hidden chamber beneath our very headquarters!

But the Guardians would not relinquish the refunds without a challenge. Captain Numbercruncher and his team had to solve a series of riddles and puzzles, each one more complex and mind-boggling than the last. As they ventured deeper into the hidden chamber, they encountered a labyrinth of secret passages and booby traps, designed to thwart all but the most intrepid of explorers.

Finally, our heroes discovered an ancient artifact, the legendary Refundian Compass, which led them to the heart of the chamber. There, they confronted the leader of the Guardians, who revealed that the refunds were part of a centuries-old tradition, a test of intellect and resolve for worthy companies.

Moved by our team’s unyielding determination, the Guardians agreed to release the refunds. However, they presented one final, seemingly insurmountable challenge - a game of chess against the legendary Grandmaster Refundovich, an AI programmed by the society’s founders.

Captain Numbercruncher summoned all his strategic prowess and, in a nail-biting match, emerged victorious, securing the return of the coveted refunds to their rightful owners – you, our loyal customers.

We apologize for the suspense and delay in processing the refunds. Rest assured that the funds are…almost…en route to your accounts and should arrive within the next week or so. Your patience and understanding have been nothing short of remarkable. Well, most of you. Ok, several of you.

Stay tuned for more thrilling tales from the world of SideDeal and Meh! And as always, thank you for your, uh, unwavering support.

Sincerely,
@Dave

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tl;dr - I forgot to start the refund process. It’s taking longer than expected and that is my fault. But it is going to happen soon. Sorry about that.