Ahoy, Buccaneers!
11Ahoy, me scurvy bilge rats! This Saturday be Talk Like a Pirate Day 'n ye needs t' be ready! Ye needs all th' rum ye can drink, a trusty parrot fer yer shoulder, 'n ye should 'ave some phrases ready. 'ave ye prepared? Here be a translator t' help ye.
Let’s put th’ irate back in pirate!
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A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"
"What do you mean?" the pirate replies, "I'm fine."
The bartender says, "What about that hook? Last time I saw you, you had both hands."
"Well," says the pirate, "We were in a battle and we boarded the enemy ship. I was in a sword fight and my hand was cut off but the surgeon fixed me up with this hook, and I feel great, really."
"Oh," says the bartender, "What about that eye patch? Last time you were in here you had both eyes."
"Well," says the pirate, "One day when we were at sea, some birds were flying over the ship. I looked up, and one of them shat in my eye."
"So?" replied the bartender, "what happened? You couldn't have lost an eye just from some bird shit!"
"Well," says the pirate, "I really wasn't used to the hook yet."
anyone want to bet that Saturday's write up will be in pirate?
@carl669 - Blimey, I hope so!
@KDemo @Teripie, would be the happiest pirate. She has been wanting this from Meh.
@carl669 I can hope it's another speaker dock. Right???
@sohmageek We can't stop you from hoping, although we'll sure try!
@jqubed
@jaremelz This has been said to me so many times I just go with it now.
@jqubed There are worse things to be called.
@jaremelz Yeah, I get called "dork" far more often.
@jqubed I may have heard that once or twice. And some others that are a bit stronger.
@jaremelz When I have time I'll have to share the story of the girl I was set up with for dork-related reasons.
@jqubed Yay, story time!
Q: What do Jewish Pirates say?
A: Ahoy vey!
Buccaneer : A hell of a high price for corn
This is so NSFW, but I love this song...
The Captain's Wife's Lament, by Paul and Storm. Very appropriate for ITLAPD.
I'm so bummed... Tomorrow is talk like a pirate day, Vermont Comic-con and my son's birthday party... I was supposed to take him to comic-con, but the birthday party kind of screwed that one up. :(
@sohmageek I'm sorry man! Were you going to wear something fun? Next year, he'll be able to enjoy it a bit more though!
@jaremelz it is the 2nd Vermont comic con. I was hoping to take him around to see the cosplay. I used to do that. But I don't have the time to cosplay now.
@sohmageek Life has a way of getting in the way. You'll get them next year, plus maybe it'll be even bigger by then! We still haven't made it to Emerald City Comic Con. Every year we say we will do it. They get some outstanding guests!
@sohmageek pirate. themed. birthday. party.
@katylava I suggested that... Wife said no. She also didn't want a themed wedding, but somehow I got my grooms cake at the wedding as we didn't have a rehearsal... We were just that awesome... Looking for the photo now... and we got the theme song to be played while we ate... :)
Here's the cake!
@sohmageek Is that the triforce??
@sohmageek but look how much fun pirate birthday parties are: https://www.flickr.com/photos/katylava/shares/51Y7Wz (yeah it's on flickr... it was 2007 after all).
@kadagan yes it is. :) Not cheese like most of the guests thought it was.
A pirate walks into the bar with a steering wheel in his pants. He asks for some rum. The bartender says, "Yes, but sir, do you realize you have a steering wheel in your pants?"
The pirate says, "Arr! It's driving me nuts!"
(My favorite pirate joke)
Just posted the same joke as @Bogie for the same reason. I'll leave this, much less inspired one, instead.
Have you heard about the new pirate movie?.......... It’s rated AARRRRGGH!
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
@bakeyoural
@bakeyoural Their first love always be the C!
@mfladd Ye be wrong.
@DaveInSoCal Aye, matey. It's the C! (Said in my best piratey growl.)
@bakeyoural @DaveinSoCal
What did the pirate say when his wooden leg got stuck in the freezer?
Shiver me timbers!
Tomorrow I'll be getting squiffy by partakin' a bit 'o Nelson's folly. And you shall address me as Dread 3.14-R8 Momo!!!!!!!!!!!!
A pirate had a parrot that wouldn't stop swearing. He tried everything. Finally one day, when the parrot started swearing, he threw it into the freezer and left it there for an hour. Finally, the pirate retrieved his parrot from the freezer. The parrot came out, shaken, and said "I promise, I'll be good from now on. But, I have just one question... What did the turkey do?????"
Avast mateys! It be Talk Like a Pirate Day! And don't ye be forgettin' that it also be Text Like a Pirate too!
@Teripie - Aye aye
Awk! Pieces of eight!
what kind of socks do pirates wear?
Arrrrrrgyle
@bullrocky "Hokey Smoke!" That's be what came ta mind went I spied yer user name.
@Teripie now what be it about me username which reminds ye of socks? by the by, me ears have neer' heard a real pirate speak the words "hokey smoke"
A pirate walks into the bar and orders a jug o' grog. Bartender says, "Hey Cap'n, why are ye wearing an eye patch?"
The Cap'n says: "Cuz I haven't got enough booty to afford an iPad!"
What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say?
HGGRRRRRAAA!
to celebrate this day, i drove home from the state fair behind a truck with license plate, i shit you not, YARR 416. i would have tried to take a picture, but there was a cop right behind me.
All this pirate yarking makes me want to petition my congresscritter for a grant of a letter of Marque and Reprisal... too damn many wannabe pirates around here! We'll get the lot of you rounded up and before an Admiralty Court and see about all that "Arrrgh"ing and "Yarrr" then.
Argh, Irk made the JBL Micros walk the plank he did.
Did any of you take advantage of the offers at Krispy Kreme for people who talked and/or dressed like a pirate?
@dashcloud - I think there's a Krispy Kreme in Tacoma, but that's too far for donuts. Also, I try not to eat donuts. Also, I didn't know about the offers. Did you?
TL:DR - No.
@KDemo Family knew about it, went and got my free glazed yesterday.
There was a lady in full pirate garb who picked up her free dozen glazed doughnuts.
@dashcloud What is is about Krispy Kremes, anyway? Wonder what they do differently.
Edit: FWIW, I just learned that a 20 oz Vitamin Water has more sugar than a Krispy Kreme donut.
@KDemo It be about that time again! Ere the day arrives, ye should put out the call!
@PocketBrain
@PocketBrain - Aye, it be Monday the 19th. Shiver me timbers and hail the crew!
I’ll just stick this here (because I have nowhere better to stick it, and because we’re recycling the thread anyways)…
Me life sucks
@f00l
You’re alive, so that’s something positive.
@TickledLizard
Life is a Bitch but she’s my Bitch.
Why don’t pirates get along with others? Because they like to AARRRRGGGHHHHue
A few years back I got a trick-or-treat-er at my door. It was a little kid all by his lonesome, dressed like a pirate. I asked “What are you dressed up as?” He replied “I’m a birate!” Aware that the kid had a speech impediment I felt sorry for the adorable little pirate, so I asked “A Pirate? Where are your buccaneers!?” The kid looked confused and pointed to the sides of his head and said “On the side of my buckin’ head!”
You could show off how much you learned in diversity training and talk like a butt pirate.