A mediocre cheese-hat adventure story epic.

Once upon a time, a sometimes surly but always loved Mehtizen posted an amazing forum topic about using sodium citrate when melting cheese to create a fondue with the consistency of nacho cheese/queso dip.

So, in a matter of due course, our intrepid and fearless heroes, @Hollboll and @ChadP, decided to attempt to make nachos based on the recipe.
It was a fierce battle, in which @Hollboll may have accidentally bought citric acid instead of sodium citrate, but the end result was a glorious defeat of the yellow goop that was supposed to be nacho cheese.

In a dramatic twist, our valiant cheesesplorers called out to the masses who were observing the madness and asked thusly:
"Who can name where, uh, the city, where nachos were invented?"

AND I DELIVERED!!! Loudly, I shouted out "Piedras Negras, Mexico!", only to realise I was watching on Periscope and they could not hear me, so I quickly typed in Piedras Negras and watched with glee as our undaunted champions celebrated my part in their triumphant victory!

My prize for participating successfully was to be a crown (in the form of a Budwiser ballcap), but perhaps to ensure it would be forever associated with this specific series of hijinks, a spur of the moment dipping of the hat in the defeated cheese occurred, and comments were made about the impossibility of shipping a biohazard, so I thought nothing more of it.

Fast forward to a few weeks later, and I get a FaceTime call from my sister (who lives in the US and is the usual recipient of my Meh spoils).
—Curtis, you got a box from Meh.
—Strange, I don't think I ordered anything since last month

—Well, it's all taped up with pink ROFL tape and has your name hand written on the box, so it's definitely yours.

She then had her husband proceed to remove several metres of brown paper from the box only to recoil in horror, disgust, and fits of hysterical laughter:
—CURTIS! THERE'S A DISGUSTING HAT IN THIS BOX!!! IT IS COVERED IN CHEESE!!!

—Oh my god, that is TOO FUNNY! I totally forgot about it, and didn't think they would do it.
—And it says OFFICIAL! in quotes on the bottom under more cheese. Can I please throw all of this out now?

I proceeded to explain the story to her and her husband, and we all had an amazing laugh, although they determined that it would have to be tossed and would simply live on in our memories, as the MediocreCheeseHat would not keep fresh until my next visit to VA (and besides, Canada is also very particular about not importing dairy products from other countries).

To conclude, THANK YOU @HOLLBOLL, THANK YOU @CHADP, and THANK YOU @KATYLAVA & @MOOSE! Thanks @unixrab for the seed of an idea that led to this hilarity! And thanks also to my sister for being such a great sport (though I still think you could have frozen the hat or something !)