A couple of years ago my cousins found another cousin
14Doing one of those DNA tests. First cousin. She never knew her father.
Who was most likely my uncle or…my dad. 
He married my mom in 1953. They were together until he died in 1987. This “new” relative was born in 1967/68.
Well, the cousin who is most curious about the paternity is having a DNA kit sent to me.
Not sure how I feel about this.
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I found a bonus cousin the same way a year or two ago. It caused a lot of turmoil with my dads family. She and I text on the regular and get on really well, but other cousins don’t want to know her.
Just really think about it before you take the test. If you are already apprehensive, you may not be happy with what you find.
/giphy hugs
As @tinamarie1974 said take your time deciding what you want to do… obviously you can’t undo this decision. Is the new cousin curious too or just a different cousin? It seems to me that a number of people’s interests need to be considered. And how pissed off people will do if you do or do not “cooperate” or do or do not get the “desired” or “not desired” results. A very sticky situation for sure. I wish you well in figuring out how to navigate this in a way that everyone can live with.
The redditors on the r/geneaology subreddit are very helpful navigating the ins & outs of just how people might be related when they find bonus relatives. They can help you determine where/when that new bit of DNA popped into the family tree.
@kidsandliz, @tinamarie1974
She’s the one who contacted Jon (my cousin) a couple of years ago. He and a couple of other cousins have been doing the Ancestry thing for a while. He posted it on the family group and we narrowed it down.
From what he said it was a one night stand. I can understand her being curious, I sure would be.
After sleeping on it, I’ve come to grips with the possibility.
If she’s my sister, I’ll share as much as I’m able. It’s not her fault and I know how my dad was. I’m the result of boredom, to be honest. As my mom put it “there wasn’t anything to do”. Postwar Germany, she was away from home (Ireland), he was away from home (USA). From things my mom told me, dad pretty much always had a side piece. (But my mom was no angel, either.)
After I was all growed up, I realized that it was for the best that I was an only child. The dynamics of that marriage weren’t healthy. And now, I might have a sister.
If she’s a cousin? Then welcome to the family.
At least we’ll have narrowed down who her dad was.
@lisaviolet I am glad you are moving forward. Either way I hope you are able to forge a bond with your bonus relative. You may be pleasantly suprised with the relationship
I can tell you from my experience it has been rewarding for both of us. Mine is a cousin, she was adopted at birth and only did 23 and me for the health info. I think we were all suprised when she popped up as a first cousin! She is 10 months older than me and based on her age we have narrowed it down to three of my dads brothers, two of which have passed. No one is talking and none of my cousins are running to get tested to figure out whos bro/sis she is, which I think is unfortunate, but it is their call
She is the spitting image of one of my cousins and looks A LOT like me. She has worked in supply chain (logistics, like me) and is a voracious hockey fan. Even though she now lives in CO she loves the Blues. Sound like someone you “know” It seems like every week we find more common ground. I am thrilled we found each other and only wish she had been around growing up. We were cheated from being friends our whole life.
TL:DR It is possible as you delve deeper into this connection you will forge a positive strong connection
@lisaviolet Like you said, it’s not her fault, so whatever the outcome, I hope you’ll be able to build a relationship with her. Best wishes.
My mom’s father was adopted and the records were lost in a flood, so he only had suspicions about who his father was. My mom always felt like there was a piece of her identity missing, and she wanted to know about her family’s health history.
So few years ago, she did the Ancestry test. She got a message from someone saying apparently we’re cousins, so there’s either a mistake or there’s a deep dark family secret. My mom told her about my grandfather, the missing info about family, etc. It turns out that there are three cousins, and they’re really into genealogy. They welcomed my mom into the (long-distance) family and shared the family tree with her.
My grandfather had always suspected that he was the result of an affair between a doctor and his secretary, but it turns out he descended from the wife’s side of the family. Thanks to some letters, etc., they narrowed it down to a couple possibilities, but couldn’t get any further. My mom was happy to find out that much, and now she has a whole new branch of her family.
My now deceased partner did one of the DNA test things with 23 and me, and so far nothing closer than a potential second cousin has shown up. I check for additions to the list every so often, since I’m the executor of her estate, and if a close relative happens to show up, I will let them know what became of her. She was adopted, and never knew who her biological parents or any other biological relatives were. For a long time, she didn’t know whether she wanted to find out if there were any extant close relatives, and by the time she had decided to go ahead and look, it was near the end.