Maple Bacon ingredients: Uncured bacon, pork, water, salt, turbinado sugar, celery powder, lactic acid start culture (not from milk), brown sugar, maple syrup, honey, water
I just read, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wanted to preserve Lady Gaga’s raw meat dress for an exhibit so they… turned it into beef jerky. I feel there is a marketing opportunity here…
@narfcake I’m very disappointed. How domwe complain about their shirt designs if they don’t sell them? I don’t want to complain about dry meat. No fun in that.
@Frijid
Meanwhile, in the bacon jerky lounge: “DO NOT GET PURCHASED BY @FRIJID. THEY’RE AWFUL. THEY GOT THE 5 PACK AND NOW THEY’VE ABANDONED 4.99 PACKS. THEY’RE DISGUSTING.”
Make a sampler pack of all the flavors and I’d be in for multiple (self and jerky friends), but without trying them I don’t know that I want 4 bags of any one type.
@JazzyJosh@KennyDub you can get 4 of each… Get 3 friends and you can all have sampler packs.
To be more helpful, here’s my thoughts on all the beef versions since this whole thing is my fault:
First off this is generally very tender beef jerky, not something hard to gnaw on like much of the stuff you get at Walmart or the convenience store.
Mesquite BBQ - my favorite. Sweet and smoky, not spicy. A pretty chill beef jerky.
Volcanic Jalapeno - quite hot compared to most Jalapeno flavored things, because it contains jalapeno seeds. A little sweet to balance out the heat. Very enjoyable if you love spicy things, but maybe too hot for the casual eater.
Peppered - really mild. Has black pepper but not a ton of it, it’s the closest thing here to plain jerky.
I’d take any of the three over anything I’ve had from Jack Links, Oberto, Pemmican, or any of the other mass produced jerky on the market. It’s also significantly more tender than the jerky I’ve tried from Buc-ee’s considerable jerky selection. There are specialty producers out there that put out jerky at this level, both local and mail order places, but this stuff is head and shoulders above mass produced jerky.
As for the bacon flavors, I’ve heard the Sriracha is incredible but I’m in the same boat as you are, I’m not buying four packs to find out. So I should be off to find three friends.
@hchavers@nolrak lots of us haven’t bought shit in forever BECAUSE it’s all crap. This repeat continues the trend. Morningsave is just a massive pile of crap to scroll through…
So you said people liked it and that’s part of the reason your brought it back I assume. People like meh face pop sockets but I don’t see those coming back.
@deathbynoodlez you know what this comment reminds me of? The Panama papers people like getting shit stolen from them and elect Billionaires who were caught in the Panama papers as govt officials.
I am sure you much have heard of these papers by now right?
@acer I’ve watched so much of the Lock Picking Lawyer that I can just imagine his narration.
I’m going to use bottom of the keyway tension here and a standard pick. Nothing on one, two is loose, three, a click out of four, nothing on five, and back. A little click out of three, two is loose … nothing on one. Four is set, a little click out of five, two is loose … a little click out of one … two, and we got it open.
@acer@narfcake thanks for posting. Now I’m going to spend the entirety of my Sunday watching lockpicking videos while my wife complains that she does everything around the house and all I do is stare at this stupid phone all day. Cheers!
Have a cabin weekend with some guys soon, so a natural purchase here. Please don’t make it a whole Quip situation so I can get this in time. My regards to your cease-and-desist-free delivery!
Don’t trust the “Total Carb” numbers in their specs. I got the BBQ Mesquite Beef last time because of its “1g Total Carbohydrate”, and my blood sugar took a big spike. It’s way too sweet (and Brown Sugar is the first listed ingredient after Beef) to have only 1g of carbohydrate. The manufacturer should be investigated for false labeling.
Ok. Who was reading my mind yesterday? I was thinking about being down to my last bag and wondering if these might come back.
Reviews… Bbq is my favorite. I like the more tender texture than other brands. The flavor has a little kick and is nice and strong. Peppered is good but more of a dry texture. It also has a strong flavor but not overwhelming pepper. I am not a big fan of the bacon. I love bacon but this jerky is too dry and not enough bacon flavor for me. I love the maple and sriracha flavors. I would like to try them on the tender beef used with the bbq. I did not get the jalapeno yet. I am considering it this time. It might be a little too sharp for me from other comments.
Yeah, sure, like there’s really only 85mg of sodium in an ounce of “BBQ Mesquite Beef” dried-slaughterhouse-scraps warehouse-floor-sweepings-flavored Frye boot soles… for $46/lb (with shipping). I can make a pound of this stuff at home, with actual lean prime beef, no nasty additives, and real ingredients (maple syrup, chipotle peppers, etc) for about $9. Store-bought jerky is vile!
Really enjoyed the write-up, however…
The Sriracha bacon has a nice flavor, however it almost seems candied due to whatever process they use. It’s sticky, sweet and hard and shiny (and of course Sriracha-y). I think it might be interesting to try adding it to a burger for both the texture and the flavor.
Seriously. This feels like it’s taking way longer than usual to actually show. The tracking info still says "On Its Way to USPS
February 4, 2019 at 1:05 pm
Picked Up by Shipping Partner, USPS Awaiting Item
CARROLLTON, TX 75010 " and has for nearly 2 weeks. If it doesn’t move this week I’m planning to bug CS to see what the hangup is as it should have been here this last week, but I’m allowing extra time cause everything in the past month has been screwy with mail.
@zachdecker You may want to contact CS. Mine got refunded because the post office lost it (I think a worker got hungry during the shutdown, so I can’t begrudge them too badly!)
Only because I wished it appeared here last time: The Volcanic Jalapeno is actually fuckin’ hot. Like…I grew my own Carolina Reapers and infused vodka for bloody mary’s with them, ground them up into chili powder that’s used a few times a week…and this shit is actually annoyingly hot to eat.
@acer No shit, I occasionally eat straight (pickled) jalapenos so I’m not a hot-food wimp, and this stuff is giving me “mouthburn,” (probably followed by heartburn, hopefully not followed by buttburn.) This is basically inedible, to me. Very disappointed. (The other selections were great, though. How can “jalapeno” be more devastating than “sriracha,” seriously???)
@acer@cbl_wv pickling takes a lot of the heat out. Fresh jalapenos are sometimes many many times hotter than pickled or Sriracha, and this jerky got the fresh stuff and plenty of seeds. I’ve had toreados so hot I couldn’t eat before but can get down with Carolina reaper and ghost chiles.
This jerky is hotter than expected, but still damn tasty in my book.
Been eating and enjoying these. In case Meh ever sells these again, here’s my take:
-Volcano Jalapeño is hot as hell. I’ve got a pretty descent heat tolerance and I was burning up by the end of the bag. Will try other flavors before buying again.
-Sriracha is good. Nice heat with good flavor. Pieces a bit sticky and slightly wet. Makes for messier fingers after eating.
-Maple is my favorite. No heat but good flavor - nice and sweet. Less sticky and wet than the sriracha. Candylike.
Specs
What’s in the Box?
4x Bags of jerky, your choice of flavor
Price Comparison
$24.96 (for 4) MSRP
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Monday, July 13th - Friday, July 17th
“Howdy-ho, fuckheads!” is my new favorite greeting
@nolrak Hey there Tuffy McFucklebee! hows your day treatin ya?
Frank Rizzo! You hear me talkin, jerky?
These are NOT shirts.
@narfcake if you can’t make this into a shirt, you’re not trying hard enough.
@narfcake First they call me a fuckhead and then they don’t try to sell me a shirt.
@narfcake
/image meat dress
I just read, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame wanted to preserve Lady Gaga’s raw meat dress for an exhibit so they… turned it into beef jerky. I feel there is a marketing opportunity here…
@awk appropriate use of skirt steak?
@narfcake I’m very disappointed. How domwe complain about their shirt designs if they don’t sell them? I don’t want to complain about dry meat. No fun in that.
@OnionSoup Likewise, I can’t even counter back that “It’s Screenprint Sunday.”
@awk @narfcake And to go with that dress, how 'bout a nice Meat Hat?
Though I would buy a “Howdy-ho, fuckheads” shirt in half a heartbeat…
WHY!!
DO NOT GET THE BACON ONES. THEY’RE AWFUL. I GOT THE 5 PACK AND NOW I GOT 4.99 PACKS LEFT. THEY’RE DISGUSTING.
@Frijid The Sriracha Bacon is just incredible.
@Frijid
Meanwhile, in the bacon jerky lounge: “DO NOT GET PURCHASED BY @FRIJID. THEY’RE AWFUL. THEY GOT THE 5 PACK AND NOW THEY’VE ABANDONED 4.99 PACKS. THEY’RE DISGUSTING.”
Geez. And I’d had my heart set on going out and buying $25 worth of jerky tomorrow. Good thing I stopped by Meh!
Wicked Good or Wicked Bad…Meh
@Stallion aren’t they cakes
Make a sampler pack of all the flavors and I’d be in for multiple (self and jerky friends), but without trying them I don’t know that I want 4 bags of any one type.
@KennyDub This. Can I get one of each?
@JazzyJosh @KennyDub you can get 4 of each… Get 3 friends and you can all have sampler packs.
To be more helpful, here’s my thoughts on all the beef versions since this whole thing is my fault:
First off this is generally very tender beef jerky, not something hard to gnaw on like much of the stuff you get at Walmart or the convenience store.
Mesquite BBQ - my favorite. Sweet and smoky, not spicy. A pretty chill beef jerky.
Volcanic Jalapeno - quite hot compared to most Jalapeno flavored things, because it contains jalapeno seeds. A little sweet to balance out the heat. Very enjoyable if you love spicy things, but maybe too hot for the casual eater.
Peppered - really mild. Has black pepper but not a ton of it, it’s the closest thing here to plain jerky.
I’d take any of the three over anything I’ve had from Jack Links, Oberto, Pemmican, or any of the other mass produced jerky on the market. It’s also significantly more tender than the jerky I’ve tried from Buc-ee’s considerable jerky selection. There are specialty producers out there that put out jerky at this level, both local and mail order places, but this stuff is head and shoulders above mass produced jerky.
As for the bacon flavors, I’ve heard the Sriracha is incredible but I’m in the same boat as you are, I’m not buying four packs to find out. So I should be off to find three friends.
They seriously can’t get rid of them !
@reclaimercube Actually, as the buyer on this one, this will probably be the last of the inventory.
@moofi guaranteed they got at least three more sales left
@moofi @reclaimercube oh yeah? Well the jerky factory called and they are all out of you!
@akparker777 @moofi they can’t get enough of me. At some point I’m submitting a job application and it’s just gonna have all my comments on it.
@akparker777 @moofi @reclaimercube well, you’re their all time best seller!
@reclaimercube maybe a flavor or two in small qty in the next Meh-rathon, but no more daily sales.
/giphy gleaming-wealthy-tea
Do I trust buying dried meat from a company that sales expired Christmas candy and blocks of yellow, orange, and red sugat?
@hchavers really, all the crap we buy from these people and this is where you draw the line??
@hchavers @nolrak The number of people that bought blood pressure monitors shocked me.
@nolrak t-shirts and speaker docks are not injested, well not by the average buyer.
@hchavers @sammydog01 given the sodium content of some of these, those should probably go on sale tomorrow
@sammydog01 they were pressured to buy
@hchavers @nolrak lots of us haven’t bought shit in forever BECAUSE it’s all crap. This repeat continues the trend. Morningsave is just a massive pile of crap to scroll through…
@unksol What would you define as “not crap?” I’m always open to suggestions.
@hchavers @nolrak BEEP. Blood pressure 27/3. Looks like I’m good for some more jerky.
@moofi @unksol More toys!
@moofi Some catshirts would be nice. Especially on a Screenprint Sunday.
You should be able to pick the 4 you want
. I’m out!
Finally! Why drive to walmart and buy a bag of beef jerky when I can pay more for less to be shipped directly to my home in 3 weeks?
@uninflammable the anticipation makes it taste better
@nolrak @uninflammable that’s what I said to the last trick right before unloading my specific brand… how did you know?
@nolrak @uninflammable the better taste makes it taste better
@uninflammable well that Walmart jerky might be too fresh. At least you know this is extra aged
Why no nutrition specs for the “Wild Child Edible Shampoo Ostrich Jerky”?
90 day warranty on jerky? So if I buy this and it turns to shit within 90 days, do I get my money back?
@philiph7 technically… yes?
Probably a replacement would be my bet.
@philiph7 if it doesn’t turn to shit within 90 days I’d say you have a bigger problem
@nolrak @philiph7 ok props for this comment well deserved.
@nolrak @philiph7
@philiph7 Well, if you eat it, it’s definitely going to turn to shit. So, yeah.
So you said people liked it and that’s part of the reason your brought it back I assume. People like meh face pop sockets but I don’t see those coming back.
@deathbynoodlez they’re not as tasty
@deathbynoodlez you know what this comment reminds me of? The Panama papers people like getting shit stolen from them and elect Billionaires who were caught in the Panama papers as govt officials.
I am sure you much have heard of these papers by now right?
@nolrak have you eaten one before?
@deathbynoodlez people is plural
@deathbynoodlez I’m a person and I don’t like pop sockets
/giphy devil’s advocate
@deathbynoodlez @OnionSoup I like my pop socket but it was free. So why should I buy one?
They’re pretty good.
/giphy thematic-arched-cow
@awk And thus saved from the Jerky-matic.
/giphy sturdy-angelic-lock
@acer I’ve watched so much of the Lock Picking Lawyer that I can just imagine his narration.
I’m going to use bottom of the keyway tension here and a standard pick. Nothing on one, two is loose, three, a click out of four, nothing on five, and back. A little click out of three, two is loose … nothing on one. Four is set, a little click out of five, two is loose … a little click out of one … two, and we got it open.
@acer Now that looks like a Jerky-matic.
@acer @narfcake thanks for posting. Now I’m going to spend the entirety of my Sunday watching lockpicking videos while my wife complains that she does everything around the house and all I do is stare at this stupid phone all day. Cheers!
@acer is this jerky recommended as a lock picking tool?
@acer @OnionSoup I don’t think jerky has been used yet …
Zip ties:
Bamboo skewer:
Cat food can lid:
Plastic wrap:
But no jerky.
Have a cabin weekend with some guys soon, so a natural purchase here. Please don’t make it a whole Quip situation so I can get this in time. My regards to your cease-and-desist-free delivery!
/giphy tempting-atomic-wallaby
No real reviews of various flavors other than bacon sux and there pretty good actually… hmm
@sippinndippin here you go, I’ve had all three beef varieties.
The Jerky writeup seemed Off.
There should be a variety pack available so we can try it out. Not four of the same flavor.
The Maple Bacon is pretty much Bacon Candy. Delicious stuff.
/giphy nonchalant-ancient-mallard
Nope
Giving the sriracha and maple a shot
/giphy messy-punctual-raven
How many ounces in a bag?
@Nimba half ounce in a dime, quarter ounce in a nickel
@Nimba 2.75 in the beef and 2.0 in the bacon
@Nimba 2.75oz. for the beef, or what they say is beef, and 2.0oz. for the pig meat.
@nolrak Is that the way they do it these days? Back when I was a teen, a dime (.10) was a tenth and a nickel (.05) was a twentieth.
/giphy fervent-unadvised-assassin
It’s “sriracha”
Don’t trust the “Total Carb” numbers in their specs. I got the BBQ Mesquite Beef last time because of its “1g Total Carbohydrate”, and my blood sugar took a big spike. It’s way too sweet (and Brown Sugar is the first listed ingredient after Beef) to have only 1g of carbohydrate. The manufacturer should be investigated for false labeling.
/giphy wimpy-quality-air
Ok. Who was reading my mind yesterday? I was thinking about being down to my last bag and wondering if these might come back.
Reviews… Bbq is my favorite. I like the more tender texture than other brands. The flavor has a little kick and is nice and strong. Peppered is good but more of a dry texture. It also has a strong flavor but not overwhelming pepper. I am not a big fan of the bacon. I love bacon but this jerky is too dry and not enough bacon flavor for me. I love the maple and sriracha flavors. I would like to try them on the tender beef used with the bbq. I did not get the jalapeno yet. I am considering it this time. It might be a little too sharp for me from other comments.
FINE! I’ll try it. You don’t have to be so pushy, meh.
smokey-chilly-strawberry
Is this the Vegan-friendly Jerky? <asking for a friend>
@CosmicTwister It’s for one of these.
https://shirt.woot.com/offers/meatatarian
Seriously do not waste your money on this. It is disgusting. I bought it last time. My dog won’t even eat it and she was a rescue who eats everything.
@naavah Which flavor did you get?
@naavah @troy Please don’t feed your dog volcanic jalepeno or sriracha.
@troy pepper
We’re all sold out of everything but Volcanic Jalepeno & Sriracha. But lucky for you, the Sriracha Bacon is the best flavor of 'em all
Please, more jerky copy writing. Made my freaking day!
Yeah, sure, like there’s really only 85mg of sodium in an ounce of “BBQ Mesquite Beef” dried-slaughterhouse-scraps warehouse-floor-sweepings-flavored Frye boot soles… for $46/lb (with shipping). I can make a pound of this stuff at home, with actual lean prime beef, no nasty additives, and real ingredients (maple syrup, chipotle peppers, etc) for about $9. Store-bought jerky is vile!
Really enjoyed the write-up, however…
@MrNews Once you make your own jerky, there’s no going back. Anything store bought just tastes like rubber.
Sooo…it’s $25 MSRP, or I can get it for $18 plus $5 shipping…meh.
Will this hold my stool together nicely? Firm and plump?
The Sriracha bacon has a nice flavor, however it almost seems candied due to whatever process they use. It’s sticky, sweet and hard and shiny (and of course Sriracha-y). I think it might be interesting to try adding it to a burger for both the texture and the flavor.
Today’s write-up reminded me almost immediately of the old Big Bill Hell’s car dealer commercial of yore.
Warning: explicit!
@PooltoyWolf that’s amazing! I want to know more.
@UncleVinny I actually don’t know any more than the commercial, which was shown to me years ago, haha
I will never put anything into my mouth that calls itself “cutz”.
If the ones you wanted are sold out, use the code superfriend on the wicked cutz website for $5 off $20, expires 2/10.
BBQ one is really good. First BBQ jerky I’ve had that tastes like actual BBQ sauce was involved at some point. Also slightly spicy. Grabbed another 4.
I’m very hungry, and still no signs that jerky will be arriving anytime soon!
Seriously. This feels like it’s taking way longer than usual to actually show. The tracking info still says "On Its Way to USPS
February 4, 2019 at 1:05 pm
Picked Up by Shipping Partner, USPS Awaiting Item
CARROLLTON, TX 75010 " and has for nearly 2 weeks. If it doesn’t move this week I’m planning to bug CS to see what the hangup is as it should have been here this last week, but I’m allowing extra time cause everything in the past month has been screwy with mail.
@zachdecker You may want to contact CS. Mine got refunded because the post office lost it (I think a worker got hungry during the shutdown, so I can’t begrudge them too badly!)
@Jamileigh17 Will do, thanks.
I am curious if anyone received this…
Yep, just received an email from customer support that I’m also getting a refund.
Did anyone get jerky this time?
Only because I wished it appeared here last time: The Volcanic Jalapeno is actually fuckin’ hot. Like…I grew my own Carolina Reapers and infused vodka for bloody mary’s with them, ground them up into chili powder that’s used a few times a week…and this shit is actually annoyingly hot to eat.
@acer No shit, I occasionally eat straight (pickled) jalapenos so I’m not a hot-food wimp, and this stuff is giving me “mouthburn,” (probably followed by heartburn, hopefully not followed by buttburn.) This is basically inedible, to me. Very disappointed. (The other selections were great, though. How can “jalapeno” be more devastating than “sriracha,” seriously???)
@acer @cbl_wv pickling takes a lot of the heat out. Fresh jalapenos are sometimes many many times hotter than pickled or Sriracha, and this jerky got the fresh stuff and plenty of seeds. I’ve had toreados so hot I couldn’t eat before but can get down with Carolina reaper and ghost chiles.
This jerky is hotter than expected, but still damn tasty in my book.
@acer @cbl_wv @djslack
/giphy volcanic
I’m waiting for the update explaining how the jerky shipments have been delayed and are suspected of being stolen.
Been eating and enjoying these. In case Meh ever sells these again, here’s my take:
-Volcano Jalapeño is hot as hell. I’ve got a pretty descent heat tolerance and I was burning up by the end of the bag. Will try other flavors before buying again.
-Sriracha is good. Nice heat with good flavor. Pieces a bit sticky and slightly wet. Makes for messier fingers after eating.
-Maple is my favorite. No heat but good flavor - nice and sweet. Less sticky and wet than the sriracha. Candylike.