@awk@mexicantacos Even strobe lights bright enough to be completely disorienting have almost no defensive use because they stop working when you stop pointing it at someone, which you kind of have to do to flee an assailant.
@awk@brennyn@mexicantacos well, I have a sofrin handheld one that is 11000!lumens but I also have it right by my bed and my gun. So not entirely planning to run away at that point. I don’t know, not a defense expert. It’s a really cool flashlight though (mine, not whatever this is).
@awk@brennyn@mexicantacos, I might would use the strobe if I needed 3 to 5 seconds to pull my gun, or run grab it from under my pillow, but just to run & hide, or what¿ No, I don’t plan to run just to die tired!!
I’ve bought a bunch of these. I wish I had bought less. If you like heavy pens that transform into flashlights that barely work, this is for you. Not sure I ever found a bottle opener. I found a whistle that looks like it could open the bottle if it believed in itself, but it didn’t.
@kfdavila@ponagathos The bottle opener is on the back side of the glass breaker head; you have to unscrew the part with the pointy bit from its barrel, flip it around and screw the pointy bit in so that the barrel is a handle for the bottle opener.
@kfdavila@werehatrack
There’s also a bottle opener on the edge of the metal card tool.
@ponagathos that’s when the Lol comes in handy! Here at my house THAT’S a huge joke in itself. You can say (almost) ANYTHING and make it funny as long as it ends with Lol and it’s emoji!
@1DisabledWarVet@kfdavila@ponagathos Sadly, the whole thing’s a joke, IMO. But yeah, these are very fertile ground for making some sharp-edged remarks, probably unlike the “string cutter”.
In for 1, perfect for stocking stuffers for my kids to keep in their cars. To think I almost bought the card tools separately the other day for more than the cost of this.
@goodjuju
I would have maybe got these, but I really need a letter opener/torx bit screw driver/paperweight/throwing star as well as something that I can stuff in my wallet and never use… I don’t think this will fit any of my needs.
If these were laughable, they’d be more useful, but they aren’t. They’re tragic. Not even worth a chuckle. Two IRKs’ worth of money for less than an IRK’s worth of entertainment.
If they could figure out a way to make a pen you would use combine with other tools you would use, it would be cool. This is none of those things, unfortunately.
I think I have an HP conference swag ballpoint pen with precision screwdriver bits in it that’s about the closest I’ve seen.
This thing is kind of a neat fidget toy, though, because it has so many bits to unscrew and screw back in different configurations.
I was so excited to get 2 of these when they were offered last year. I had high hopes… With my dad being a retired electrician who’s ALWAYS fixing something he’s got a tiny screwdriver in his pocket or nearby at all times so I thought he’d love this. He’s even been known to fix/adjust the TV picture when visiting a friend’s house. Lol Unfortunately he passed away in September and I hadn’t given it to him yet. They’re both unopened and sitting in the box. Guess I should figure out who’s getting it for X-mas!
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me a third time & I guess we’re both fools!! In other fn words, I got these lights the last time & wasn’t impressed with their battery life ergo, I won’t be conned into purchasing these again!
If the “tool card” had had a seat belt cutter, I probably would have bought just for that. Thankfully, my seatbelt disengaged before my passenger area caught fire, so I was able to climb out of the window, but it made me realize that a cutter could have been necessary.
@djslack Thanks for the thought. I’m doing well considering the possibilities. The accident made me think of getting one because it could have been much worse. If my belt hadn’t opened properly, the only cutting device I had with me was a nail clip, and I shudder to think about trying to cut through a seat belt with that, since there were flames coming out of the hood right in front of the windshield as soon as my truck came to a rest. The cab was fully involved within a couple of minutes which did not give me much time for cutting my way out, so the end result could have been quite different.
Specs
Product: 4-Pack: Bell + Howell 9-in-1 Tac Pens with Tool Cards & Extra Batteries
Model: 7418MO, 7419MO, 7422MO
Condition: New
What’s Included?
Price Comparison
4 for $71.80 at Amazon without the extras
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Monday, Dec 12 - Tuesday, Dec 13
Hell & Bowel you say?
But does it vibrate?
@ThyProphet you may vibrate if you’re affected by the strobe light?
@ThyProphet it doe
@ThyProphet No… but it says, screw you… and be careful not to wrench your back while doing it.
@ThyProphet Only if you talk nicely (dirty) to it.
4?? Are these the new TrackRs?
@ircon96 I was thinking candy corn, but yeah.
/giphy legendary-relaxing-toy
Not the gif I was expecting. Thank Google it’s not NSFW
Is that some kind of legally-required language they have to use instead of “glass breaker”? Weird.
@awk it actually isn’t strong enough to break glass, so window striker it is
@mexicantacos Hmm, they should probably change “self-defense bright strobe light” to “mildly annoying blinky LED” …
@awk @mexicantacos Even strobe lights bright enough to be completely disorienting have almost no defensive use because they stop working when you stop pointing it at someone, which you kind of have to do to flee an assailant.
@awk @brennyn @mexicantacos well, I have a sofrin handheld one that is 11000!lumens but I also have it right by my bed and my gun. So not entirely planning to run away at that point. I don’t know, not a defense expert. It’s a really cool flashlight though (mine, not whatever this is).
@awk @brennyn @mexicantacos, I might would use the strobe if I needed 3 to 5 seconds to pull my gun, or run grab it from under my pillow, but just to run & hide, or what¿ No, I don’t plan to run just to die tired!!
/showme window strike tool
Looks like something good to throw into the white elephant bag for work.
/giphy mulled-frozen-house
@ironcheftoni
I agree, BUT 4 SETS OF THEM?
@Lynnerizer i have three white elephants plus one for me.
@ironcheftoni
Then it’s PERFECT!
I’ve bought a bunch of these. I wish I had bought less. If you like heavy pens that transform into flashlights that barely work, this is for you. Not sure I ever found a bottle opener. I found a whistle that looks like it could open the bottle if it believed in itself, but it didn’t.
@kfdavila Did you try the glass breaking tip to open the bottle?
@kfdavila @ponagathos The bottle opener is on the back side of the glass breaker head; you have to unscrew the part with the pointy bit from its barrel, flip it around and screw the pointy bit in so that the barrel is a handle for the bottle opener.
@kfdavila @werehatrack Sorry, I was just making a dumb joke.
@kfdavila @werehatrack
There’s also a bottle opener on the edge of the metal card tool.
@ponagathos that’s when the Lol comes in handy!
Here at my house THAT’S a huge joke in itself. You can say (almost) ANYTHING and make it funny as long as it ends with Lol and it’s emoji! 
@kfdavila @ponagathos @werehatrack, I thought your joke was hilarious, witty & a wee bit sarcastic, which I love!!
@1DisabledWarVet @kfdavila @ponagathos Sadly, the whole thing’s a joke, IMO. But yeah, these are very fertile ground for making some sharp-edged remarks, probably unlike the “string cutter”.
@kfdavila @Lynnerizer @ponagathos @werehatrack
/image borat not
In for 1, perfect for stocking stuffers for my kids to keep in their cars. To think I almost bought the card tools separately the other day for more than the cost of this.
@goodjuju
I love love LOVE your username!
@goodjuju Those were different card tools, and useless in different ways than these.
@goodjuju I bought a few of these and the threads barely even keep them together. On the whole, I would say, not worth it
@goodjuju
I would have maybe got these, but I really need a letter opener/torx bit screw driver/paperweight/throwing star as well as something that I can stuff in my wallet and never use… I don’t think this will fit any of my needs.
I gave up before I could reliably open the pen on my first attempt.
If these were laughable, they’d be more useful, but they aren’t. They’re tragic. Not even worth a chuckle. Two IRKs’ worth of money for less than an IRK’s worth of entertainment.
If they could figure out a way to make a pen you would use combine with other tools you would use, it would be cool. This is none of those things, unfortunately.
I think I have an HP conference swag ballpoint pen with precision screwdriver bits in it that’s about the closest I’ve seen.
This thing is kind of a neat fidget toy, though, because it has so many bits to unscrew and screw back in different configurations.
@djslack It’s screwy, I’ll give it that.
I was so excited to get 2 of these when they were offered last year. I had high hopes… With my dad being a retired electrician who’s ALWAYS fixing something he’s got a tiny screwdriver in his pocket or nearby at all times so I thought he’d love this. He’s even been known to fix/adjust the TV picture when visiting a friend’s house. Lol
Unfortunately he passed away in September and I hadn’t given it to him yet.
They’re both unopened and sitting in the box. Guess I should figure out who’s getting it for X-mas! 
Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me; fool me a third time & I guess we’re both fools!! In other fn words, I got these lights the last time & wasn’t impressed with their battery life ergo, I won’t be conned into purchasing these
again!
@1DisabledWarVet “LR44 battery” and “flashlight”… nothing good can come of that combo.
/giphy plenteous-crackling-tale
Smaller on the outside
@ybmuG “That’s new.”
In Christmas colors!!
Baby’s first multitool?
If the “tool card” had had a seat belt cutter, I probably would have bought just for that. Thankfully, my seatbelt disengaged before my passenger area caught fire, so I was able to climb out of the window, but it made me realize that a cutter could have been necessary.
@CatFriend Glad you’re ok. Somehow this reads like you were in an auto accident while contemplating ordering this item which I hope isn’t the case.
@djslack Thanks for the thought. I’m doing well considering the possibilities. The accident made me think of getting one because it could have been much worse. If my belt hadn’t opened properly, the only cutting device I had with me was a nail clip, and I shudder to think about trying to cut through a seat belt with that, since there were flames coming out of the hood right in front of the windshield as soon as my truck came to a rest. The cab was fully involved within a couple of minutes which did not give me much time for cutting my way out, so the end result could have been quite different.
@CatFriend @djslack
So glad you made it out in time!
I’ll be real, I thought I would use this more (1) than I have ended up using this (0) from the last time these were on sale.