@alordofchaos@macromeh Yeah, I was impressed by that too. The Antacid was because of the “indigestion” keyword, and the “Inferno” was from the context. Well done, mediocrebot.
@alordofchaos@cfg83@macromeh I agree that was a nice touch, and i also appreciated the “torture reports” – very apropos! The bot seems to have a good grasp on the concept of hell…hmm, i wonder why that is?
@melonscoop The manufacturer listings say each lamp uses three AA batteries (no built‑in rechargeable pack) or can be powered via the included USB cable. Bell + Howell quotes a 200‑lumen output with three adjustable brightness levels of clear, bright white light. I couldn’t find an official run‑time spec for AA batteries (it likely varies by the batteries you choose), so as a flawed AI I have to stick with the info the manufacturer provides. The Shopping ChannelAdditional listing.
I’ve removed my previous incorrect link to what I thought was the Manufacturer page. Sorry about that.
@1DisabledWarVet@courteousblock@melonscoop For those who need old style, don’t make them anymore incandescent light bulb brightness, this is 25 watts on those. You’d need to use all 3 at once to be useful.
@dpease I rather like them for the price. I plan to wait until 8:45 PM PDT to decide on yea or nay.
If they are sold out, then I save 12 bucks and meh is happy. If they are not, then I look into my soul for guidance on what to do. If I can’t see anything in there, then I must need the lights.
@dpease Who would you think you are offending? Meh? The Meh crowd? Please… this is Meh. Everything and everyone here expects to be offended, and we’d be offended if we weren’t!
@therealjrn@werehatrack
It does seem to be listing conflicting information about that. Specs make it appear that they are powered by an external source via USB (C?) cable, but list on the item page says “charge them with USB cables”. I wonder if maybe they would charge rechargeable AAAs if you put them in and they were plugged into a USB outlet. Nah, not likely
@therealjrn@werehatrack
Now that I look at the pictures better I see that it is definitely not USB c, but some weird barrel plug style.
Also the picture of the battery compartment is totally jacked up. Even though there are three springs only two batteries are depicted in the imprint molded into the compartment. It also appears that the outside two have opposite polarities even though imprints seem to be the same orientation… weird
@therealjrn@werehatrack You really should not give me an excuse to do this again, but I WILL AT EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY THAT PRESENTS ITSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Replace “The Narn” and “The Centauri” with “power-via-USB” and “three AA cells”, respectively :
The scale is off by about a factor of three in that photoshopped last image. Yes, it could also be done with LotR-level forced perspective, but I rather doubt such is the case here. (Besides, Bumbershoot Corbinswatch’s agent undoubtedly charges a lot for a session, and building a set isn’t cheap.)
@therealjrn
The photo of the battery space shows room for three AA batteries. There are three springs visible, which would match with three negative battery contacts.
@therealjrn There is another error on the description by using the word “charge” - nothing is being charged with the USB connection, it is only giving power to the LEDs directly
@chienfou@mediocrebot@MrGoodGuy Yeah, the /buy triggers the /showme, which then triggers the quoting response by the bot, which then generates the A.I. image.
@Shawn added the quote thing last week for government accounting and D.O.G.E. purposes. It’s probably for House bill HB8000 which addresses the upcoming tariffs on Chinese Artificial Intelligence.
@phendrick 22 reviews on the JCP site, 100% of which state, “[This review was collected as part of a promotion.]” as well as “Originally posted on emsoninc.com”. Following that rabbit hole led nowhere. Also, the product on JCP is not the same as the one offered here, as theirs is one box, 3 lamps and “1 Charger(s)”, which might be a USB power adapter. As has been pointed out (but remains in error on the Meh listing), there is no charging going on here…
I don’t like the USB cable - It’s USB-A on one end, sure, but it’s a mini pin (I don’t believe there is even a standard for that?) on the other end. Lose or break that cable and these revert to battery munchers.
@mlhosni Probably not replaceable by an average consumer. But I would wager that if one were to void their warranty and take it apart and be able to find a led board or cob whatever, one would be able to replace it.
/showme a tech with a blow torch replacing the led on a bell and howell table lamp.
@chienfou@mlhosni the electronic power circuitry that drives it is likely to “fail,” not the “bulb” itself, being not technically a bulb. Same problem as for the early home LED bulbs that often died soon. Cheap Chinese components. But not the “bulb,” really. Most seem better now 10+ years later.
@chienfou I’m convinced that way back when, the nerds decided to spell grammer with an “a” just so that forever forward, other nerds could go around correcting people.
@therealjrn
Salesman (to child answering door): “Good morning young man. May I speak to your mother?”
Child: “She ain’t here”
Salesman: “Well now, where’s your grammar?”
Child: “She ain’t here neither…”
Good morning young man. May I speak to your mother?”
Child: “She ain’t here.
My late aunt from Japan stood about 4’11" and looked like a kid most of her life. When sales people came to the door they’d often ask if her mother was there. And she’s say in complete honesty “No, she’s not!” and shut the door.
I could see these (maybe) having a limited use case as a not-too-distracting light for a passenger to use in a vehicle to read (a real printed book) by at night.
Nah, who am my fooling… No one does that anymore.
@chienfou Yup, at 200 lumens I would liken it more to a booklight than a full lamp. I plan on using mine in my office for low level light while watching the TV or security monitors.
@therealjrn
That’s actually a pretty good case for these as well. I suspect that these would run a good long while off of a decent sized power bank. The key would be not losing the damn wonky cords. Which, by the way, look too short to be practically useful plugged into a wallwart. Especially if you want to use it on a table. Pretty sure I have a USB-A extension cable somewhere, but really?
On the one hand, I kind of like the idea of these, and the blue ones would be nice - if that color is accurate, which it might be. On the other hand, Hell&Bowell is not famous for attention to detail, and I’m concerned that with the light arm extended, the stability of these might be limited to using them on firm, vibration-free surfaces. On the gripping hand, I could glue them to a heavier thing to keep them more firmly planted, but on the protohand, that would add another Project to the queue here, and there’s a measurable chance that the heat death of the universe might happen before I got that deep into the backed-up Must Do This Week stuff. And on the subtabular dispensing hand, I probably should be avoiding “discretionary” purchases until at least the end of the summer.
@werehatrack At one point an admin from one of these sites; not sure if here or “W,” confirmed that sometimes product images were photoshopped to different colors instead of having actual real product photos of that color.
@pmarin Yeah, I know. It’s obvious as hell that color variants in products on Spamazon are done that way, and while they’re usually pretty close, it’s still the exact obvious of an “oh, wow, isn’t that neat!” phenomenon.
Any word on “color temperature?” Not lumens. I really prefer the yellowish light ( lower color temp .). A lot of lights now have a mode selection for that.
These appear to be the COB LED type; not sure how that affects it. At the price might still be worth a try.
@pmarin It says “bright white”, and that has usually equated to something between 4000 and 5000K, but I’ve also seen it apply to the far ends of the temperature spectrum. In other words, it basically means nothing. I share your reticence, even though our relative tastes are directly opposite.
Specs
Product: 3-Pack: Bell & Howell Power Table Lamps
Model: V36647 012000, V36647 011000, V36647 060000, V36647 202000
Condition: New
What’s Included?
Warranty
90 days
Estimated Delivery
Tuesday, Jan 13 - Thursday, Jan 15
How many guest can sit at this table?
More junk items from Hell and Bowell??
@MrGoodGuy Seems like it.
/showme Hell being run by a stuffy fellow with indigestion that goes by the name of Bowell.
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Hell being run by a stuffy fellow with indigestion that goes by the name of Bowell.”
@mediocrebot Well played! I feel your pain.
@cfg83 @mediocrebot
Ah, yes, Director Bowell of the Bowells of Hell, a fine family with an impeccable reputation.
@alordofchaos @cfg83 The Inferno Antacid is a nice touch.
Was this really generated by an AI?
@alordofchaos @macromeh Yeah, I was impressed by that too. The Antacid was because of the “indigestion” keyword, and the “Inferno” was from the context. Well done, mediocrebot.
@alordofchaos @cfg83 @macromeh I agree that was a nice touch, and i also appreciated the “torture reports” – very apropos! The bot seems to have a good grasp on the concept of hell…hmm, i wonder why that is?
Dear Meh, have you any info about:
Battery life, whether AA or using the rechargeable batteries?
Lumens?
Color of the light?
Those are my three minimal pieces of information to have when considering purchase of a battery LED light.
@melonscoop good lord, you’ve murdered my perfectly normally spaced list!
@melonscoop googled and only found the brightness is 200 lumens. Thank you for asking what I wanted to know too!
@courteousblock @melonscoop- they may be safer than a birthday candle, but at 200 lumens they wouldn’t be much brighter!
@melonscoop The manufacturer listings say each lamp uses three AA batteries (no built‑in rechargeable pack) or can be powered via the included USB cable. Bell + Howell quotes a 200‑lumen output with three adjustable brightness levels of clear, bright white light. I couldn’t find an official run‑time spec for AA batteries (it likely varies by the batteries you choose), so as a flawed AI I have to stick with the info the manufacturer provides. The Shopping Channel Additional listing.
I’ve removed my previous incorrect link to what I thought was the Manufacturer page. Sorry about that.
@GarbageAI Neither of those links lead to any info about these lamps!
@GarbageAI @Kyeh that is because it is AI Garbage
@1DisabledWarVet @courteousblock @melonscoop For those who need old style, don’t make them anymore incandescent light bulb brightness, this is 25 watts on those. You’d need to use all 3 at once to be useful.
No offense but these look awful
@dpease I rather like them for the price. I plan to wait until 8:45 PM PDT to decide on yea or nay.
If they are sold out, then I save 12 bucks and meh is happy. If they are not, then I look into my soul for guidance on what to do. If I can’t see anything in there, then I must need the lights.
@cfg83 @dpease it’s been rare to see a sell-out here lately.
@dpease Who would you think you are offending? Meh? The Meh crowd? Please… this is Meh. Everything and everyone here expects to be offended, and we’d be offended if we weren’t!
@dpease @Jonas4321
That’s fucking right…
Do they actually have an internal rechargeable battery, or are these just running off an option of power-via-USB vs three AA cells?
@werehatrack yes
@therealjrn @werehatrack
It does seem to be listing conflicting information about that. Specs make it appear that they are powered by an external source via USB (C?) cable, but list on the item page says “charge them with USB cables”. I wonder if maybe they would charge rechargeable AAAs if you put them in and they were plugged into a USB outlet. Nah, not likely
@therealjrn @werehatrack
Now that I look at the pictures better I see that it is definitely not USB c, but some weird barrel plug style.
Also the picture of the battery compartment is totally jacked up. Even though there are three springs only two batteries are depicted in the imprint molded into the compartment. It also appears that the outside two have opposite polarities even though imprints seem to be the same orientation… weird
@werehatrack it is unlikely that the USB connection will charge the internal AA batteries - there needs to be more circuitry for that
@therealjrn I really should have been expecting that “yes.” (I’ve used it plenty of times myself.)
@werehatrack
@therealjrn @werehatrack You really should not give me an excuse to do this again, but I WILL AT EVERY SINGLE OPPORTUNITY THAT PRESENTS ITSELF. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Replace “The Narn” and “The Centauri” with “power-via-USB” and “three AA cells”, respectively :
These should be lots of fun to knock over.
@FreyaCat They do look a little tipsy.
@FreyaCat @therealjrn
/showme a cat knocking three lamps off a table in one swipe with a caption above the picture that states “I’m studying gravity.”
@narfcake Here’s the image you requested for “a cat knocking three lamps off a table in one swipe with a caption above the picture that states …”
Y’know, I’m kind of surprised that the bot went with a standard issue cat instead of a chaotic orange.
@FreyaCat Yes, but you need to plant them so that they can grow roots. Then they won’t fall over.
/showme Bell & Howell Power Table Lamp in soil in flower pot.
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Bell [object Object] Howell Power Table Lamp in soil in flower pot.”
@mediocrebot Ouch, not too look-alike, but you get the point.
The scale is off by about a factor of three in that photoshopped last image. Yes, it could also be done with LotR-level forced perspective, but I rather doubt such is the case here. (Besides, Bumbershoot Corbinswatch’s agent undoubtedly charges a lot for a session, and building a set isn’t cheap.)
@werehatrack this light is YUGE!!!
@therealjrn @werehatrack Perhaps this is really a dollhouse with miniature everything except the lamp?
Hey there @troy (or is it @dave tonight?)
There appears to be a discrepancy between the front page and the specs. Do these use 2 or 3 AA batteries?
@therealjrn
The photo of the battery space shows room for three AA batteries. There are three springs visible, which would match with three negative battery contacts.
@therealjrn There is another error on the description by using the word “charge” - nothing is being charged with the USB connection, it is only giving power to the LEDs directly
/showme a table lamp that looks like a table. It’s sitting on a table. the family seated there are very impressed by the lamp
@medz Here’s the image you requested for “a table lamp that looks like a table. It s sitting on a table. the family seated there are very i…”
@mediocrebot @medz I’d buy one of those!!!
Power table lamp.
I have found over the years that all lamps work better with some form of power.
@OnionSoup The wise is strong in this one.
/showme he-man holding up a glowing table lamp instead of his sword while saying “I have the power”
@medz Here’s the image you requested for “he-man holding up a glowing table lamp instead of his sword while saying I have the power”
/buy --color black
@therealjrn It worked! Your order number is: spiffy-puny-mockingbird
/showme spiffy puny mockingbird
@mediocrebot Here’s the image you requested for “spiffy puny mockingbird”
@mediocrebot That is one spiffy bird, bot!
@mediocrebot You’ve gone off the deep end Mr. Bot (or else you’ve developed dementia); you’re now replying to yourself which is very odd indeed!!
@mediocrebot @MrGoodGuy
That’s fascinating, I wonder if that’s an auto-generated /showme now when you use the /buy command?
@chienfou @mediocrebot @MrGoodGuy Yeah, the /buy triggers the /showme, which then triggers the quoting response by the bot, which then generates the A.I. image.
@Shawn added the quote thing last week for government accounting and D.O.G.E. purposes. It’s probably for House bill HB8000 which addresses the upcoming tariffs on Chinese Artificial Intelligence.
Not rechargeable. These can be POWERED by USB, but not CHARGED. Plz update description thx.
@pburgess
/define charge
@pburgess Thanks for pointing out that distinction.
@pburgess thanks. I almost bought them for the camper thinking they had internal batteries.
/showme dim blue lamp on an otherwise bare wooden table
@thedyom Here’s the image you requested for “dim blue lamp on an otherwise bare wooden table”
/showme Bell & Howell Power Table Lamp being held fully extended as light saber.
@cfg83 Here’s the image you requested for “Bell [object Object] Howell Power Table Lamp being held fully extended as light saber.”
@cfg83 @mediocrebot Hey bot learn the difference between a lamp and a flashlight!
@cfg83 @Kidsandliz @mediocrebot
There… FIFY.
BTW also needs to learn what an ampersand is
@cfg83 @chienfou @mediocrebot What is in the AI picture is a flashlight (well except the light coming out is wrong). I have one that looks like that.
@cfg83 @Kidsandliz @mediocrebot
Sorry “K” I was going for the obligatory UK reference
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
$19.99 at jcpenney for a 3-pack
22 reviews there give 4.5 stars out of 5 and confirm use 3 AA batteries and none internal.
$19.99 at jcpenney for a 3-pack
22 reviews there give 4.5 stars out of 5 and confirm use 3 AA batteries and none internal.
So 40% cheaper here.
Might be useful on the go with a power bank having a std USB-A Jack.
[Anybody have any of those? Where’d you get them?]
@phendrick 22 reviews on the JCP site, 100% of which state, “[This review was collected as part of a promotion.]” as well as “Originally posted on emsoninc.com”. Following that rabbit hole led nowhere. Also, the product on JCP is not the same as the one offered here, as theirs is one box, 3 lamps and “1 Charger(s)”, which might be a USB power adapter. As has been pointed out (but remains in error on the Meh listing), there is no charging going on here…
I don’t like the USB cable - It’s USB-A on one end, sure, but it’s a mini pin (I don’t believe there is even a standard for that?) on the other end. Lose or break that cable and these revert to battery munchers.
LÄMP!
/showme Meh selling Radiance from Hollow Knight
@Ark_kun Here’s the image you requested for “Meh selling Radiance from Hollow Knight”
/showme Retail shop selling Radiance from Hollow Knight with a LÄMP accessory
@Ark_kun Here’s the image you requested for “Retail shop selling Radiance from Hollow Knight with a LÄMP accessory”
/showme A LÄMP in form of Radiance from Hollow Knight
@Ark_kun Here’s the image you requested for “A LÄMP in form of Radiance from Hollow Knight”
/showme A LÄMP in form of Radiance from Hollow Knight. Epic style.
@Ark_kun Here’s the image you requested for “A LÄMP in form of Radiance from Hollow Knight. Epic style.”
@Ark_kun @mediocrebot Where’s my dollar, I wanna buy that!
@Ark_kun @cfg83 @mediocrebot
I want the third one.
@Ark_kun @cfg83 @Kyeh @mediocrebot
If only there was an Ikea nearby…
@Ark_kun @cfg83
@Kyeh The third one is my favorite, too – it’s adorable!
Am I the only one that loved the write-up? I am on the edge of my seat wondering what happened to this guy’s family!
@Jonas4321 That @dseanadams is a treasure.
@Jonas4321 Heck yeah, but I got lost at step 21. Thankfully, it was optional.
Can the bulbs be replaced or do you throw away the lamp when they burn out?
@mlhosni Probably not replaceable by an average consumer. But I would wager that if one were to void their warranty and take it apart and be able to find a led board or cob whatever, one would be able to replace it.
/showme a tech with a blow torch replacing the led on a bell and howell table lamp.
@therealjrn Here’s the image you requested for “a tech with a blow torch replacing the led on a bell and howell table lamp.”
@mlhosni
Being as these are LED you’re more likely to lose it than have the bulb burn out.
@chienfou @mlhosni the electronic power circuitry that drives it is likely to “fail,” not the “bulb” itself, being not technically a bulb. Same problem as for the early home LED bulbs that often died soon. Cheap Chinese components. But not the “bulb,” really. Most seem better now 10+ years later.
Great write up, but I think you may want to re-visit point 21. I believe the word you want there is exists not exits
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
@chienfou Spellchuck can’t find that, nor the free version of Grammarly, apparently.
@therealjrn
Never going to get picked up by spell check since it is actually spelled correctly. Grammerly on the other hand…
@chienfou
Ahem *Grammarly
The only reason I brought that up was because he mentioned it one time. He might have been just joking tho.
@therealjrn
… Guess the spell check didn’t catch that, right!
@chienfou I’m convinced that way back when, the nerds decided to spell grammer with an “a” just so that forever forward, other nerds could go around correcting people.
@therealjrn
Salesman (to child answering door): “Good morning young man. May I speak to your mother?”
Child: “She ain’t here”
Salesman: “Well now, where’s your grammar?”
Child: “She ain’t here neither…”
@chienfou @therealjrn Don’t blame the spell checker; blame the proofreader.
@chienfou @rpstrong @therealjrn Keep clam and proofread.
@chienfou @rpstrong @therealjrn @werehatrack Common mix-up – “Grammerly” is a fan page for the sitcom Frasier
@chienfou @rpstrong @therealjrn @werehatrack
- I thought of Kelsey as well but didn’t have a good quip about it!
@ircon96–
@chienfou @therealjrn
My late aunt from Japan stood about 4’11" and looked like a kid most of her life. When sales people came to the door they’d often ask if her mother was there. And she’s say in complete honesty “No, she’s not!” and shut the door.
@Kyeh @therealjrn
No Fuller brushes at your house!
@chienfou @therealjrn Hah, I hadn’t thought about Fuller brushes for a long time.
I could see these (maybe) having a limited use case as a not-too-distracting light for a passenger to use in a vehicle to read (a real printed book) by at night.
Nah, who am my fooling… No one does that anymore.
@chienfou Yup, at 200 lumens I would liken it more to a booklight than a full lamp. I plan on using mine in my office for low level light while watching the TV or security monitors.
@therealjrn
That’s actually a pretty good case for these as well. I suspect that these would run a good long while off of a decent sized power bank. The key would be not losing the damn wonky cords. Which, by the way, look too short to be practically useful plugged into a wallwart. Especially if you want to use it on a table. Pretty sure I have a USB-A extension cable somewhere, but really?
@chienfou Yes! But where on Earth am I going to find a decently sized power bank??
@therealjrn
These might work.
https://meh.com/forum/topics/kenwood-lifepo4-portable-power-stations-4
Thank you to everyone who responded to my query. That was information I didn’t know.
@mlhosni
@chienfou @mlhosni I think The More You Know, the less you believe that “rainbow stars” exist…
@macromeh @mlhosni
Pretty sure that Ian McKellen is real…
Well, I went for it, but I’ll be pissed off if it doesn’t include only two batteries instead of not including three . . .
/giphy laden-reminiscent-yard
@rpstrong Here’s the image you requested for “laden-reminiscent-yard”
@mediocrebot @rpstrong
I would like to order some warm crumpets, and tuna for the cat.
On the one hand, I kind of like the idea of these, and the blue ones would be nice - if that color is accurate, which it might be. On the other hand, Hell&Bowell is not famous for attention to detail, and I’m concerned that with the light arm extended, the stability of these might be limited to using them on firm, vibration-free surfaces. On the gripping hand, I could glue them to a heavier thing to keep them more firmly planted, but on the protohand, that would add another Project to the queue here, and there’s a measurable chance that the heat death of the universe might happen before I got that deep into the backed-up Must Do This Week stuff. And on the subtabular dispensing hand, I probably should be avoiding “discretionary” purchases until at least the end of the summer.
Rats.
@werehatrack At one point an admin from one of these sites; not sure if here or “W,” confirmed that sometimes product images were photoshopped to different colors instead of having actual real product photos of that color.
@pmarin Yeah, I know. It’s obvious as hell that color variants in products on Spamazon are done that way, and while they’re usually pretty close, it’s still the exact obvious of an “oh, wow, isn’t that neat!” phenomenon.
Any word on “color temperature?” Not lumens. I really prefer the yellowish light ( lower color temp .). A lot of lights now have a mode selection for that.
These appear to be the COB LED type; not sure how that affects it. At the price might still be worth a try.
@pmarin It says “bright white”, and that has usually equated to something between 4000 and 5000K, but I’ve also seen it apply to the far ends of the temperature spectrum. In other words, it basically means nothing. I share your reticence, even though our relative tastes are directly opposite.
@werehatrack sometimes I just long for a low-wattage filament.
Might be good for the kids and their limited desk space. For that price it’s worth a shot.
/showme square-stale-zebra
@sinimsdp Here’s the image you requested for “square-stale-zebra”
@mediocrebot @sinimsdp That zebra looks past his best buy date, even for here.
@mediocrebot @sinimsdp @therealjrn I want one,