Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

ROY
(into the phone)
What is it, Lester? What did you find?

LESTER
(V.O.)
This is crazy. Apparently, it’s an experimental program, not yet cleared for the field. They call it ‘Power’ Wash, because the agents… well, Roy. They’re not human. Or not fully human.

ROY
(into the phone)
What exactly are you telling me?

LESTER
(V.O.)
They’re augmented, Roy. Part human, part machine.

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)