Smart Lab Toys 3-Piece Bundle
- You (or children you know) get 3 toys: A zombie with squishy viscera and 2 towers that are meant to be built and demolished
- The squishy zombie includes a comic book that teaches kids about viruses, anatomy, and so forth
- But come on, mostly it’s just awesome to pull intestines out of a zombie
- The towers include a “detonator” to destroy the building, because kids struggle to knock things down on their own
- Let us celebrate the beginning of the Season Where We Nag You To Buy Gifts For The Upcoming Gift-Giving Season
- Model: SL13136, SL12630, and SL12631 (The one question we get asked all the time is, “What’s your favorite model number format?” Of course, it’s hard to pick one, but if we absolutely had to we’d pick this: An abbreviation of the manufacturer followed by 5 numbers. It’s simple, elegant, and easy to search. Might not be the flashiest format, but it gets the job done.)
Let Toys Be Toys
You can’t buy regular toys anymore. They’re all “educational.” We understand why — parents want their kids to be smart — but it leads to some pretty absurd outcomes. For example, one of the toys in this bundle is a zombie with protruding, squishy viscera that claims to "Fulfill STEM requirement for Science.”
Putting aside that STEM stands for “Science Technology Engineering Math,” and that “Fulfills STEM requirement for Science” therefore makes as much sense as saying a piece of meat “Fulfills BLT for bacon,” and that this incoherence itself speaks to the troubling state of education — this is a toy that involves pulling intestines out of a zombie. Yes, it’s nice that kids might learn something about anatomy from the included comic book, but that’s not the reason to get it. Get it because it’s a fun toy.
Ditto the “Demolition Lab” toys, which are just more-fun versions of the oldest game in the history of children: Building something and then knocking it down violently. This process involves physics, of course, and maybe kids who are inclined to learn about forces and momentum and whatnot will be inclined to investigate that aspect of the toy. But mostly it’s a way of channeling a child’s destructive energy into something that’s meant to be destroyed.
We’re not saying that toy companies won’t sell more toys by making them “educational.” It’s clearly working. The squishy zombie toys was one of the best-selling items on Prime Day. (That’s a sentence we never thought we’d find ourselves writing).
Nor are we saying educational toys aren’t important. They are. We can still remember where Yugoslavia is in relation to Croatia thanks to a world map beach ball we played with as kids. Toys should be more than mere distractions.
But we do think that saying a horrifically mutilated zombie "Teaches and reinforces science concepts such as the scientific method” is a bit dubious. That is, unless the toy teaches children to use the scientific method to prove that zombies don’t exist.
Will the recipient of these toys enjoy them? Probably. Will they get into MIT because of them? Unlikely. Will they become obsessed with zombies and to the point where they learn your smart TV’s passcode so they can watch “The Walking Dead” when you’re away? Almost certainly. And that’s a real education.