Slothmore Brushless Motor Impact Massage Gun with Storage Case and 6 Attachments

  • Pretend it’s an alien ray gun
  • Pew pew pew
  • Really though it’s a nice massage gun for your muscles
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We've Created A Monster

Anyone else getting tired of the same old monsters. Dracula? More like Drab-ula! Zombies? A bunch of real zom-bozos! Werewolves? Get-the-hell-outta-here, wolves! Enough with the masked killers using gardening implements, with the typical ghosts and ghouls, and enough with the clowns! No, it’s about time we forge a bold new direction in horror. I’ve even roped in our own resident monster-sculptor @KoolHandJoe for his expert opinions on the matter. Let’s see what we’ve got.

———

We are all familiar with the concept of the doppelgänger. We will develop a new breed of doppelgänger. I call it: the Chad. What is the Chad? It’s you, but better. It’s a you that if it were to replace you, perhaps everyone would be better off. It is a being of existential dread. It is what you could be but aren’t. It is the one that casts the shadow, and you are the shadow.

@KoolHandJoe: “Like you but only wears black Affliction T’s two sizes too small, a Yankees hat with the flat brim, wrap-around sunglasses, a single gold chain, boat shoes with no socks and skinny jeans… The Real Chad.”

So far today...

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And you bought...

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  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $1040 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

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