Slothmore Brushless Motor Impact Massage Gun with Storage Case

  • Doesn’t make a lot of embarrassing noise
  • Comes with 6 heads and has 5 speeds, so you can go at any ache
  • Takes 2 hours to charge and works for 6 hours
  • Can it make margaritas: One of the heads could probably mix a drink, honestly
see more product specs

Pulverize Your Pain

Ever have that thing happen, where you go see a specialist for some ache or pain, and they start pressing parts of your leg or foot (or whatever you told them was bothering you) saying, “Does this hurt?” And they’re going up and down, and every time they apply pressure, you’re like, “Uh, not really”?

And just as you’re starting to wonder if you invented it all in your head–just as you’re thinking, maybe I tweaked something mild and it’s better now–they hit the spot? Like, the spot where the pain is? ALL the pain? And when they’re like, “Does it hurt here?” you can barely even answer, it’s so bad?

Well, this is for stuff like that.

Okay, just to be clear, we’re not telling you to skip the doctor when something’s bothering you. We’re saying you want a massage gun like this for when you’re dealing with extremely localized aches and pains.

Or, to put it another way, there’s a difference between sore muscles and sore muscle. Sore muscles are when your body’s just all around like, “Yeesh, it’s been a long day!” Would this thing be nice for that? Sure. But so would a couple ibuprofen, a cup of tea, and one of those massage things you drape over your shoulders.

Sore muscle singular, on the other hand, is when you’ve tweaked something very specific, and you need to go straight to work on THAT THING and THAT THING only. For stuff like that, a cup of tea just isn’t going to cut it. No, you need a massage gun like this, with some serious power and a variety of different heads.

What are the different heads good for? That’s a great question, one we’ll answer with this handy graphic we found in the product’s marketing materials:

Wow, that was so much easier than trying to write all that out!

So, anyway, get yourself a massage gun, and get to work on some SPECIFIC aches and pains.

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