Sharper Image UV-Zone XL Phone & Accessory Sanitizer
- The UV light kills 99.9% of the germs living on whatever you put inside it
- Fits two phones side by side with over 70 cubic inches of space
- Also fits smaller tablets or e-readers
- No chemicals, baby!
- Model: 31528, which is also the zip code for Sanitary Town, population you
The Germaphobes Were Right
For years and years, I was just the silly germaphobe in your life. You’d see me disinfecting my desk every morning, or wiping down my stool before sitting and holding my arms in such a way as to never even graze the sticky wood surface of the bar, and how would you react? By snickering at and mocking me.
Not to my face, of course. Because that would be rude. And also, because I don’t let anyone get very close to my face. No, you’d make fun of my sanitized ways behind my back. I’d leave a room and then press my ear to the door and hear your mean-spirited laughter. And I would feel disheartened, first because of your cruelty, and then a moment later due to having applied my ear to such a foul surface. Seriously, who’s to say where that door has been?
Point is, I felt ostracized. Now, though? It appears the tables have turned. You’re not laughing at me anymore. Quite the contrary, you’re trying to be more like me.
But don’t worry. I’m not going to hold your previous attitude against you. I will welcome you with open arms (figuratively speaking; I won’t be hugging anyone until 2026 at the earliest). And the first thing you need to know is that the world of germaphobic living can be fun. It’s not just washing hands and wearing masks and carrying hand sanitizer everywhere you go (which is hopefully nowhere). Rather, there’s a whole world of exciting products you buy and play with.
Like this Sharper Image® UV-Zone XL Phone & Accessory Sanitizer. You just put in your phone or whatever else will fit inside, close the lid, and it kills 99.9% of the germs living on your precious stuff. Think of it like a little tanning bed for the things you carry around in your pocket. Except, actually, it’s the opposite of a tanning bed, because it’s good for your health. Also, it’s clean, which a tanning bed certainly is not.
Plus, it’s got a hole that allows you to run your charging cable through, so you can charge your phone. But we’re not here to talk about that. We’re here to talk about germs.
Anyway, I’ve been typing this up for a long time now, and I fear that some dust has settled somewhere in my house. I better go find it and clean it up before I accidentally breath it in and sneeze.
And while I’m dealing with that, you can deal with your own unsanitary issues by buying one of these Sharper Image® UV-Zone XL Phone & Accessory Sanitizers!