Hallmehrk Presents: A Good Clean Christmas

“Hey, Leanne. Just wanted to start off by saying thank you for getting a jump on next year’s holiday programming for the Hallmehrk Channel.”

“Not a problem!”

“Now, in terms of the scripts you handed in, I have a few questions. Well, actually just one question.”

“Happy to clarify anything!”

“Yeah, so, in the first one, Santa’s soul is trapped in a Shark RV761 ION robotic vacuum cleaner, and can only be freed by a kiss from Mrs. Claus, so a pair of estranged high school sweethearts go looking for her, only to rekindle their love for one another along the way.”

“Exactly. A Good Clean Christmas.”

“And then in the second one, a strapping young groundskeeper from a faraway country that’s definitely England falls in love with the reporter who discovers the cut up birth certificate proving he’s a prince inside a Shark RV761 ION robotic vacuum cleaner.”

“Right. A Royally Clean Christmas Prince.”

“And then, in the final one, a beautiful billionaire heiress stranded in a small town by a snowstorm forsakes her city ways and uses her business savvy to save a bed and breakfast by buying the ruggedly handsome owner, who’s also the town mayor, a fleet of Shark RV761 ION robotic vacuum cleaners to cut cleaning costs.”

“Correct. Cleaned Up And Inn The Christmas Spirit.”

“And each script contains, like, pages and pages about the Shark’s three brush types, and how you can control it from an app, and how Engadget called it the best budget robot vacuum cleaner on the market. And so I just need to know… did you recently purchase a Shark RV761 ION robotic vacuum cleaner?”

“Well, let’s just say all writing is somewhat autobiographical.”

“Huh.”

“Anyway, are we done here? I’ve got to get back to work. I’m in the middle of this new script about love at a hot cocoa festival. It culminates with a huge cocoa powder spill that looks like it’ll take hours to sweep up, but the protagonist takes care of it with her–”

“Shark RV761 ION robotic vacuum cleaner?”

“How did you know?”

“Just a hunch.”