We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Shark Original Steam Mop (Refurbished)

  • Lightweight and easy to use, assuming you’re familiar with basic concepts like “floor” and “water”
  • Cleans thoroughly, kills germs, and scares the cat
  • Safe to use on all sealed surfaces, including seal colonies
  • Comes with one replaceable microfiber pad; you’ll probably have to buy more at some point but it’s not a scam like Swiffer
  • Model: S3101 (Clean and forgettable, qualities we appreciate in a model number and business hotel)
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Steam Clean Your Birthday Suit

What you’re looking at here is a steam-cleaning mop at a great price. It’s lightweight, easy to use, and powerful enough to clean floors to even Howard-Hughes-approved levels of spotlessness.

Why steam? Because it gets floors way cleaner than tepid mop-water. How does it do that? We’re not really sure, but presumably molecules and science are involved.

The real mystery, however, is not how steam cleans floors so well, but how it manages to get everybody to take their clothes off. There’s some magical property of vaporized water, whether in a steam room or sauna, that permits otherwise socially unacceptable levels of nudity to run rampant.

And hey, we’re not saying there’s anything wrong with steam’s power to undress. We appreciate the bare human form as much as the next red-blooded daily deals site. It’s just a bit … puzzling.

It’s not even a behavior unique to our society; steam-nudity seems to be a human universal. Whether thrashing one’s own naked self with bunches of birch sticks in a Finnish sauna or Russian banya, languishing in the clothing-prohibited waters of a natural Japanese onsen hot spring, or exfoliating the full breadth of one’s surface area in a Moroccan hammam, humans the world over simply cannot resist the clothing-sloughing qualities of steam.

Nor is this practice a recent reaction to puritanical social norms. Even the Ancient Romans would anoint their (presumably bare) forms with olive oil in their hot-n-steamy Caldaria. And they were hardly constrained in their day-to-day nudity.

Will this steam mop have the same effect as those multi-cultural, multi-temporal steam rooms? Will your spring cleaning ritual turn into a bawdy bacchanal? There’s only one way to find out.

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