Pick-Your-2-Pack Bandolino Charging Wristlets
- It’s a cute little purse that can make your phone sing
- By sing, we mean charge
- 2000mAh hide within these stylish walls
- RFID protection too
- Model: SG50335B, the SG stands for “sour grapes,” which is what you’ll be if you have a dead phone
The Great Bandolino
So this is not your card? But what about his one… BEHIND YOUR EAR!
[Applause from the audience]
Thank you, thank you. You can have a seat, ma’am.
For my next trick, I, the Great Bandolino, need only one thing: a phone…
[A smattering of volunteers hold up their phones]
BUT… not just any phone! No, friends the phone in question must be dead. Not low battery. Not half-charged. But completely, utterly, blank-facedly dead! Do I have a volunteer?
[A man in the first row presents his phone]
Thank you, sir. I will be sure to return it to you. But it will not be the same. No, through the power of magic, I will transform this dead phone into… A SLIGHTLY CHARGED PHONE!
[Mumbles of disappointment from the crowd]
All I must do is place it in this: a magical wristlet sold to me by a soothsayer on my travels around the world. I just need to… make sure… I put it in… right… with the… cable…
[Mumbles of disappointment grow louder]
Now, we must wait just… I don’t know… does ten minutes sound too long?
[Groans from the audience]
Oh, what? You wanted magic, didn’t you? Well, is not all of our modern technology magic in some way? Tell a person twenty years ago that you have a bag that can make a phone charge and they’d think you were a wizard!
[Booing from the audience]
Fine. Forget about it. Let me just get the phone out of-- huh, that’s funny. The phone’s gone! And in its place?
A den of saw scaled vipers!
[Audience shrieks in terror and rush to the exits as the snakes make their way from the stage]
That’s what you get for doubting the power of the Great Bandolino!