Petmate Dog Toy Bundle
- You get one of each style: a floating boomerang, a stuffed pizza, a “tuff” canvas plush, and a soft squeaky plush
- That’s four total dog toys
- Exercise for your dog’s teeth, and mind, and soul
- Or any dog’s, really
- Bring them along to distract guard dogs on your next burglary
Dogs get bored, too.
You’re pretty pleased with yourself, aren’t you? Just because you bought this dog toy bundle from us a few months ago, you think you’re man’s best friend’s best friend. Look at you, so complacent, strutting around like you’ve got a Dog Owner of the Year ribbon pinned to your chest.
And then you’ll be shocked, just shocked, when your dog decides it would rather live somewhere else.
A healthy dog relationship isn’t just an item to be checked off a list and forgotten. It requires cultivation, attention, communication. A dog only starts to sniff around when it isn’t getting what it needs at home. And if you can’t keep that dog happy, if you can’t treat it like the special companion it is, believe us, someone out there will.
It’s time to replace those tattered, months-old toys with some new fresh ones. Not because your dog will leave you if you don’t. But because your dog needs to know that you care, that you’re thinking of it, that you spent your valuable time and hard-earned money to give it something to gnaw, to chew, to bat around with its adorable paws.
We guess what we’re saying here is, Roxy, we realize now what fools we were. The greatest thing to ever happen to us slipped away, and we were too damn blind to see it. Come back. Give us one more chance. We’ll put these toys out behind the garage. If you want them, they’re yours. And if you decide to stay, we’ll replace them every three months. It’s only what you deserve.
