Panasonic Multi-functional Wet/Dry Shaver and Epilator
- It’s a wet/dry shaver. Which means you can use it in a rainstorm I guess? Why else would they make it like that?
- Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… the shower. Right.
- Wikipedia defines an epilator as “an electrical device used to remove hair by mechanically grasping multiple hairs simultaneously and pulling them out.” So… that sounds… delightful…
- But I’m sure this one’s really nice and doesn’t hurt at all.
- Model: ES-EU20-P. Coincidentally, that’s my UB40 cover band’s name.
Tonight, On The Hallmehrk Channel (Pt. 5)
Another day, another double header of holiday fun. Here’s what you have to look forward to tonight, on the Hallmehrk Channel!
“Hey everyone, it’s exactly three weeks until Christmas, or as I like to call it, day 259 without finding a heart.” That’s how Annie (Tandy Mentions), a popular vlogger, starts her message on a late December morning. It’s the same routine she’s done since the diagnosis nearly a year earlier. But Annie’s starting to lose hope. Despite accruing hundreds of thousands of fans, it hasn’t turned up the rare heart-type that Annie needs to live.
She’s about ready to give up when suddenly she receives anonymous message that the heart she needs is available. “If you can handle it,” the message concludes, but Annie pays it no mind. She has surgery the next day and comes out of anesthesia feeling great! In fact, she feels better than ever… despite a few strange complications. She seems to be growing tinsel from her arms and legs and she wakes each morning with a fresh cover of white facial hair. All this despite the regular use of her Panasonic Wet/Dry Shaver and Epilator! And what’s more, as Christmas approaches, she finds her spirit growing. Could it be? Yes, that’s right she just might have… The Heart Of Santa Claus!
Greer (Coraleen Cronline), the social media intern for a large shipping and receiving conglomerate, sends a tweet one fateful morning. It’s content: encouraging parents to use her company for shredding their children’s letters to Santa Claus. It’s a simple joke, but it causes a firestorm, and not just online!
Now, Jenna will have to run for her life while being tracked at every turn by the KGB, or Kringle-Guard Brigadiers–a group of dangerous warriors who carry out only Santa’s dirtiest jobs. Luckily for her, she’s got help: Blane Hitchins (Kelvin Morntain), an elf who worked security at the Santa’s Workshop until he found out about the atrocities enacted within. Will they defeat the KGB and show the world the truth about “the big man up north”? Find out in… Blane-Greer Games!
*That’s all for today. Only a couple more days of our Hallmehrk Movie Marathon remain, so stay tuned and keep pitching your own ideas!
