Too late It’s over

Oregon Scientific Smart Watch Trainer

Ultra-simple fitness watch that counts steps and probably some other stuff too, we assume
App only works with iPhone… apparently? It seems?
Has something called “Ssmart Onyx” which might be a cheesy name or might just be a typo
It shows time and date, has a stopwatch, connects with Bluetooth 4.0, and it’s water resistant to 160 feet, we know that much
Model: SE900 (a model number as minimal and utilitarian as the product itself, bravo)

see more product specs

Schadendroide

Here you are, looking at what’s on Meh today. First there’s the title, the Oregon Scientific Smart Watch Trainer. You click through the pictures. You check our not-entirely-serious list of bullet points. You read the amazing story that may or may not teach you about the product.

Then you click into the forum thread and read the actual specs. You see that it has a built-in motion sensor, connects to your phone via Bluetooth, and supports various exercise profiles. You’re starting to get the picture: a basic, cheap fitness watch. Maybe somebody in the forum has something of substance to say about it. Then it’s back to the front page, to click the Amazon comp link.

Whoa. The reviews are terrible. Only two reviews, and both one-star. You wonder if Meh has gone nuts for hoisting such a toxic pariah of a fitness watch onto their online pedestal.

Ah, but you look closer. Both reviews cite one and only reason for their denunciation: the lack of an Android app.

If you’re an Android user, you go complain in the forum. Then you stalk off to check on your fantasy lacrosse team, or watch that new clip of Jimmy Fallon impersonating David Lee Roth singing the theme to Growing Pains for some reason. You never give this watch another thought.

But if you’re an iPhone user, you relish those reviews. You bathe in their sweet, sweet tears. You sympathize with their plight with a hearty “Nyah-nyah!”

Then you come back here, buy it, and use it. It’s just that easy. Five exercise profiles. Built-in motion sensor. Bluetooth 4.0. Nothing else. Because it needs nothing else. So cheap, so simple, so useful. And all for you and your iPhone. And ONLY your iPhone.

Unless it’s sold out. Then you go complain in the forum.