We’re not selling this deal anymore, but you can buy it at Amazon

Old Hampshire Yarns Handmade Throw Blanket

  • Made in the USA
  • Designed by actual craftsmen (the people, not the bungalows)
  • Constructed on century-old looms (seriously)
  • 99% crylic, 1% polyester
  • Like soft things? Consider a shirt from Mediocritee
see more product specs

Just The Facts, Please

Marketing copy. It can often be so overblown and hyperbolic, overselling something basic as cutting edge and life-changing. But that’s not the issue with this paragraph from Old Hampshire Yarns concerning the throws we’re selling today:

Every throw blanket from Old Hampshire Yarns has a story to tell. The uniqueness of the material and the maker leave a one-of-a-kind signature on each blanket. And like snowflakes, no two are exactly alike. How and where a product is made matters. You seek craft, community, and creativity, not a commodity. From the spinning of yarn to the weaving, Old Hampshire Yarns throw is an American made original.

There’s a lot of abstraction happening here. The throws are like snowflakes. They’re telling stories. They’re inspiring craft, community, and creativity. They’re one-of-a-kind. And all of this is true and accurate. But, frankly, that doesn’t matter, not when it’s been nearly a decade since Domino’s introduced their “artisan pizza.”

We live in a post-definition world. Words that should have a finite meaning instead have a sort of cloudy amorphous group of associations. Like, literally nothing means anything definitive anymore, not even the word “literally,” which is literally defined as “exactly.”

And so Old Hampshire Yarns’ mistake is they’re trying sincerely to express the uniqueness of their product, but in our current climate where sincerity and pathos has been co-opted by soulless corporations, leading to widespread cynicism in the buying populace, it’s just not working. And, in fact, they’d be better off stating two dry facts:

  1. These are made in the USA; and…
  2. they’re designed and woven by real deal craftsmen on century-old looms.

See? Doesn’t that make this all the more impressive? Is this not a perfect example of when a rundown of simple details do more than all the flowery language in the world?

We sure think so!

Anyway, thank you to coming to our TED talk about throws.

So far today...

  • 65222 of you visited.
  • 44% on a phone, 3% on a tablet.
  • 4309 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 542 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $13146 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

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