Spray Away

You know what the problem with dentists is? They’re so uncompromising!

And, okay, sure. In a lot of ways, this might be their best trait too. After all, it would be bad for the person helping you maintain your dental health to be like, “You don’t need all 8 incisors and 4 whole canines to eat mashed potatoes. You could lose a few and be fine!”

But there are times when the sternness comes across as a bit overblown. Especially when it comes to flossing.

Let’s be real: flossing is the most annoying part of a nightly tooth-brushing routine. It’s kinda gross, kinda uncomfortable, and, if your teeth are really close together, kinda impossible. And yet, raise these concerns to a dentist and what do they say? “You gotta floss.” Furthermore, bring up any alternatives to traditional flossing, and they say, “Nope, traditional flossing is best.”

Now, to be clear, they’re right. Except they don’t seem to understand that when you ask about flossing alternatives, you’re not saying, “Should I do this or floss the basic way?” Most of the time, you’re asking, “Should I do this or just never floss at all until the morning before my next cleaning?”

We really do believe that if you gave your dentist truth serum, they’d say, “I actually don’t have to poke your gums so hard with the hook thingy, but the sight of blood fills me with an almost primordial sense of joy I can’t explain. Also, any tooth I pull that the client does not explicitly ask for goes onto a necklace that I wear to the dark underground speakeasy where me and all the other dentists hang out.”

And you’d say, “That’s too much information. I only gave you this truth serum to get your opinion on alternatives to traditional flossing.”

And they’d say, “Oh, right. Yeah, honestly, anything is better than nothing.”

Like this! Although, to be clear, this thing is a bit more than just anything. It can gently clean between your teeth, or you can turn up the power to really blast plaque. Plus, it’s waterproof so you can use it in the shower. Which maybe sounds weird, but when doing a thing can prolong a luxurious hot shower, you’re just more likely to do it. That’s science.

So get one, and start flossing the fun way! Or, like, at all.