Too late It’s over

Madcap Adventure Kit

A bundle of nonsense for your next madcap adventure
2 packs of 70 temporary jewelry tattoos to conceal your identity
3 Powrtab micro USB single-use rechargers for when your Android (or Bluetooth speaker or whatever) dies
1 iPhone 6 case for when your Android won’t be revived and you have to buy an old iPhone
1 activity tracker to monitor your steps to the Apple Store
4 Adventure Time pint glasses to slake the mighty thirst from all that walking
3 packs of orange Mentos for no good reason whatsoever
Model: &dv3ntvr3

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Dork: The Wizard of Frobozz

You are standing outside your date’s house. There is a doorbell by the door. The road with your car is to the south.
What do you do?

Ring doorbell

Your date opens the door and goes to kiss you. They are disgusted by your foul breath and slam the door in your face. You die of shame
Would you like to play again? Y/N

Y

You are standing outside your date’s house. There is a doorbell by the door. The road with your car is to the south.
What do you do?

Check inventory

You are currently carrying: 2 Adventure Time pint glasses, 3 containers of orange Mentos, 3 Powrtab phone rechargers (micro-USB), 1 activity tracker, 2 packs of 10 temporary tattoos, 1 iPhone 6 phone case

Eat mentos

You open a container of orange-flavored Freshmakers. It doesn’t matter what comes, fresh goes better with life.

Ring doorbell

Your date opens the door and goes in to kiss you. They appear delighted. They invite you in.

Go inside

You step inside. Your date tells you to sit down and goes upstairs. In the room there is a sofa, a large grandfather clock, and a portrait of an old Eastern European woman.

Sit down

You sit down. Suddenly the front door slams open and your date’s Ex charges in, screaming obscenities.

Check inventory

You are currently carrying: 2 Adventure Time pint glasses, 2 containers of orange Mentos, 3 Powrtab phone rechargers (micro-USB), 1 activity tracker, 2 packs of 10 temporary tattoos, 1 iPhone 6 phone case

Break Adventure Time glasses

You can’t do that with your bare hands

Break Adventure Time glasses against grandfather clock

You can’t do that while seated.

Stand up

You stand up.

Break Adventure Time glasses against grandfather clock

You break the whimsical glassware against the old clock. You now have a glass shard

Attack ex with glass shard

You lunge at the Ex with the glass shard and a fight ensues. The shard nicks the Ex’s jugular and they bleed out on the carpet. Your date comes downstairs, horrified. You hear the wail of sirens coming nearer. Someone must have heard the fight and called the cops

Flee to Mexico

You jump in the Ex’s Camero and head for the border. As you stand in line at the border crossing you notice a wanted poster with your face. A border agent is walking in your direction